Bread from Heaven-toni-weisz-abortion-recovery-and-abuse-support-group

Bread from Heaven-toni-weisz-abortion-recovery-and-abuse-support-group

I would rather go back to what is familiar even if it is bondage…

Exodus 16: 3-4a
And the children of Israel said to them, “Oh that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat and when we ate bread to the full! For you have brought us out into the wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.” Then the Lord said to Moses, “Behold I will rain bread from heaven for you….”

When the children of Israel’s trials were too hard for them to bear, they wanted to go back to what was familiar: slavery in Egypt.

How many of us can relate to wanting to go back to the dysfunctional relationships or sins of our past because there is comfort in knowing what to expect?

Change is hard because it’s unfamiliar; there is no safety or comfort in it. But God doesn’t want us to stay in our dysfunction. He wants us healed. He wants us to trust Him completely with every area of our lives.

God provided the children of Israel with bread that literally dropped out of the sky, He called it, “Bread from Heaven.” If God did that for them, don’t you think He can help you too? I think the answer is Yes!!!

Let me ask you, what are you still trying to control and refuse to release into God’s Hands?

God wants you to trust Him to lead, guide, and provide for you. He has a beautiful plan for your life. Honestly, at this point, what do you have to lose? If anything, you have much to gain.

Step out dear one, and let God take control; you will not regret this decision.

If you need prayer or encouragement, reach out and we will be happy to pray with you.

God Bless you!

Toni and the Team at myashestobeauty.com

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
Awareness, Acceptance, and Action

Awareness, Acceptance, and Action

Awareness, Acceptance, and Action:
The 3 A’s to true Healing and Hope.

There can be no change without AWARENESS.

 

AWARENESS is understanding and reflecting on a situation, person, or feeling with openness and curiosity (as defined by peopleleaders.com.au).

For me that day was when I started a new journal and called it, “Why are my relationships to those closest to me toxic?”

Kind of an interesting name for a journal, but I had awareness that something was terribly wrong with my relationship with several people closest to me.

I was the common denominator, what was I doing to encourage or enable this unhealthy behavior?

I believe God gives us awareness as we pray and ask Him to remove blindness and to show us our sins, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and our character defects.

The Holy Spirit, is referred to as the Spirit of Truth, who gives us wisdom and reveals truth. (John 16:13)

ACCEPTANCE is recognizing this is where I am right now in my life.

I recognized that my relationships with those closest to me were fear-driven; my fear of rejection and abandonment caused me to become a people pleaser.

My need for love and acceptance had plunged me deep into drinking and drugs in my early teen years, in order to find some kind of relief from the emptiness I felt.

I also was not able to communicate how I was feeling, which would cause me to enable all kinds of unhealthy and emotionally abusive treatment from others.

I had no voice and no boundaries and as a result of my destructive lifestyle, I hated myself more and more as the years went by.

The nail in the proverbial coffin for me was when I found myself with an unplanned pregnancy at 21. There was no way I could tell my parents; they would be so hurt and disappointed in me.

I was fearful. I panicked like so many of us do; I needed to take care of this quickly.

How many of you can relate to that statement? I want you to know you are in the right place. There is no judgment here just love, encouragement and the forgiveness that God offers everyone through faith in Jesus Christ.

Action; I realized I needed to get my life right with God.

I confessed my sins to God, I recognized and professed that Jesus is the Son of God, and He died on the cross for my sins and was buried and on the third day, rose from the dead, and is in Heaven seated at the Father’s right hand.
(Romans 10:9-10,13, 1 st Corinthians 15:3-4, Hebrews 10:12)

Once I had this relationship with Jesus, I was given the gift of the Holy Spirit, which is given to all of who believe.

My relationship with Jesus began on 2/6/1994, and I have never been the same. He has given a new purpose, a new hope, and a new song.

I have been made alive as one that was plucked out of the depths of despair and darkness and being tormented by the evil one, who wanted me to end my life, but God had a better more beautiful plan for my life that I never imagined I could have.

He has turned my ashes, my darkest moments, and has made something beautiful out of them for my good and His glory. (Isaiah 61:3)

It was my relationship with Jesus that gave me the courage to get the help I needed so that this dysfunction would stop with me and not be perpetuated to the next generation. I pray God gives you courage too.

 

In His love and service,

—Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
God’s Grace

God’s Grace

God’s Grace can be defined as the unmerited or undeserving favor of God to those who are under condemnation. (Enni, Paul. Moody Handbook of Theology)

Verses Romans 3:19-28, Ephesians 1:7, 2:4-9

Grace was not something I witnessed growing up and I didn’t see it displayed at the church or school I attended as a young child. Instead, I saw students hit with rulers when they disobeyed. I began to believe that my faith was based on my good works: if I was good, I would be loved and accepted. But that was a lie.

The Bible says, “For by grace you are saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works lest anyone should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) According to this and other verses, I could never be, “good enough” to be accepted into God’s family. Instead, by having faith in Jesus Christ and believing his death on the cross was the payment for my sins, I would be welcomed into God’s family. I didn’t have to strive to be perfect; all I needed to do was believe.

Faith in Jesus and being a Christian is not about following rules. It’s about having a relationship with God, acknowledging that Jesus is the Son of God, and that He died on the cross for our sins. He paid our sin debt. We are saved by grace through faith. It is a gift of God, not of works.

  • Grace is a gift from God; it cannot be earned.
  • Grace is overlooking someone else’s faults and loving them where they are.
  • Grace compels me to love others, to extend mercy, and to be kind to all people.
  • Grace humbles me when I think about what Jesus did for me on the cross: a gift I can never repay.

Have you truly received this gift of grace in your heart?

Do you extend grace to others?

 

In His love and service,

—Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
Come to Jesus

Come to Jesus

Let us therefore come boldly onto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time
of need. (Hebrews 4:16)

I was fearful to speak up as a child, continually striving for perfection but never attaining it. I had an over developed sense of responsibility and would take on shame and guilt immediately for any wrongdoing. I also was a very anxious child; I was so worried about disappointing people or doing something wrong. Unfortunately, my parents were unaware of my drinking, drugs, and promiscuous behavior. I did a great job hiding that part of my life. But the truth was I suffered from depression as a teenager, and since my childhood, I felt I had no voice. I allowed others to manipulate and control me with their angry outbursts and their hurtful words. Because I was a child, I did not develop the skill of communicating in a healthy manner. In fact, I stuffed for so long that I could not stuff anymore. My rage and anger came out sideways. I had become a rage-aholic. I hated myself and thought I was not worthy to be loved and that I had no value to anyone; I felt invisible, alone, depressed, and hopeless. Especially after my abortion at 21, I thought I deserved to be abused because of my sins.

I came to personally know the Lord Jesus as my Savior and friend at the age of 34. I found in Him a Savior to take my sins away and a Friend who would love me just for me. I didn’t have to be perfect to be loved. It took me 15 years to truly take hold of and to believe in the inner most part of my being, that I was loved. How precious those words are to me. I am loved by God; I am not abandoned I am adopted into His family. I am not rejected. I am accepted.

Dear One, whatever you are fearful to share or even look at today, trust God and come boldly onto His throne of grace. He is lovingly calling you to come and lay down your burdens because you cannot carry them anymore; they are crushing you and are preventing you from truly being set free to enjoy this abundant life He has promised His children.

Let me ask you:

What are you struggling with today, is it a situation, or an individual?

Do you need to speak to someone and share your heart?

What is the Holy Spirit leading you to do or say?

The Lord wants us to be bold and courageous, what are you fearful of?

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

In His love and service,

—Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
Freedom from Shame

Freedom from Shame

Freedom from Shame

by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Disciplines

Scriptures: Psalm 44:15-16, 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, Romans 12:2, Philippians 4:13 and Zephaniah 3:17

Psalm 44:15-16
My dishonor is continually before me, and the shame of my face has covered me, Because of the voice of him who reproaches and reviles, because of the enemy and the avenger.

I took on shame immediately as a child when I was harshly corrected by a perceived authority figure, like a parent, nun, or teacher. I would feel my cheeks get red, and I was filled with embracement and shame, especially if I was reprimanded in front of others. I suffered with an overdeveloped sense of responsibility; perfectionism and people-pleasing had made me vulnerable to the enemy’s attacks in this area.

Shame tells me from my home of origin, “It’s all your fault. You should have known better.” Another voice said, “I can’t believe you cannot follow simple instructions.” This was the remark by a substitute teacher in front of my entire third-grade class. I wanted to run and hide. I was so embarrassed.

When I got older, the shame would wash over me after a night of partying, when I would slowly start remembering things I did the night before. When I found myself unwed and pregnant, the enemy whispered, “Your parent’s will be so ashamed to call you, their daughter. They will disown and abandon you if they find out all the evil you are doing—the drugs, alcohol, sex, and now a baby out of wedlock. You will disgrace the family name. Take care of it now before someone finds out.”

The word picture I use to describe my shame is, I feel the weight of it pushing my head down, and I am covered by a heavy wet dark wool cloak. My head and body are bent over, my eyes are cast down, and my spirit is broken. I have feelings of despair, regret, and weakness. I feel all alone and isolated in this dark place. I feel hopeless and powerless to change my situation. All the while the enemy is tormenting me in this dark place. I don’t see any way out.

For those of you who suffered abuse by the hands of those who were supposed to protect you and then you were shamed into silence, the Lord’s heart broke for you that day and every day after that when the enemy abused you and then made you feel it was all your fault. That is a lie from the pit of hell. No one ever deserves to be mistreated or abused, ever. I pray the Lord heals all of your wounded areas and shows you how precious you are to Him.

I now recognize I don’t have to listen to those old tapes in my head anymore. God has given me a new identity, a new purpose, and a new life. Discovering who I am in Christ changed everything.

God showed me that shame is a choice. I can conquer it, and I can decide not to take it on. I have control over what I allow to enter into my thoughts.

The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”

Our spiritual battles are won and lost in our minds. That’s why the Bible says to renew our minds daily with the Word of God. (Ref. Romans 12:2)

The enemy may try to get me to take on shame, but I have the final say. Christ in me helps me to make better choices. I am not a victim of my circumstances anymore. I am victorious in Christ.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

I am loved by God.
I am adopted. I am not abandoned.
I am accepted. I am not rejected.
I belong to God, and I am His child.

Zephaniah 3:17
The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. Do you still take on shame?
  2. What does your shame feel like?
  3. Has God helped you to see yourself through His loving eyes?
  4. Who does God say you are?
  5. How can we pray for you?

Dear One, you are loved by God. We are here for you to help you conquer the lie shame tells you. Please reach out and email us at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved dearly,
Toni

 

 

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.