A Time to Praise the Lord

A Time to Praise the Lord

A Time to Praise the Lord

by Toni Weisz/Recovery Tools

Scriptures: Joshua 4:6b-7, Revelation 12:11, Psalm 118:29, 28:7, 40:3, 150:6, and Isaiah 43:18-19

In the Book of Joshua, Chapter 4, we see God commanded the children of Israel to set up a memorial of remembrance for what He had done for them. These memorials were to be shared with future generations so they could see what amazing miraculous things God had done for them. I believe it is important for us to look back as well to see where we’ve come from and remember all the wondrous things the Lord has done for us.

Let’s look back over this past year, and let’s share all the wonderful things God has done for us and our families. There is power in our testimonies. We read in Revelation 12:11a, “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.” Tell others the wondrous and amazing things that God has done for you. There is power in your testimony. We don’t know how our testimony can encourage someone else who is feeling hopeless, alone, and defeated. Your words can be the very thing they need to hear to encourage them and help them through a very dark time.

Let’s share some Scriptures that speak about our thanks to God for all His blessings.

Oh, give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good! For his mercy endures forever! Psalm 118:29

The Lord is my strength and my shield: my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped. Therefore, my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him. Psalm 28:7

And He has put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it and fear, and shall trust in the Lord. Psalm 40:3

But You are holy, enthroned in the praises of Israel. Psalm 22:3

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Psalm 150:6

I could go on and on praising the Lord with more Scriptures that speak about His wonderful attributes and His great love for us, but now I would like to share a brief testimony.

God gave me this verse for 2025 from Isaiah 43:18-19, “Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth, shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

In January, during a time of fasting and prayer, I started a new prayer journal, different from all previous years. I was desperate to hear from God, and we needed Him to move mightily on the behalf of my family. I wrote down 20 petitions with Scriptures for each one. I thanked God in advance for answering my prayers, and I signed my name and dated each one.

Slowly over the past year, God has answered many of my petitions which has been so humbling and has brought me to tears. In September, my son was strong enough to travel on an airplane with his wife to see my parents. He finally received a diagnosis on October 10, 2025, for the illness he’s had for four years.. My daughter, a single mom, has been blessed financially with a new job that started on November 9, 2025. God provided me with a part-time job this Wednesday, November 12, 2025.

In the ministry, we did two STS post-abortion studies and two Overcomers abuse studies. God raised up an army of godly courageous facilitators to help with our Bible studies this year. Thank you, ladies, for that. We’ve had 19 women on the call this year, which was our highest number ever. We just celebrated our 12th year of conference calls. We have over 3000 people from all over the world visit our website monthly. We had the opportunity to share our ministry at several churches and events here in Palm Beach, FL, in VA and NC. On Saturday, November 8, 2025, Grace and her new husband, Matthew, were at Love Life’s 40th week and she shared her miraculous redemption story. Matthew is the father of her aborted baby. Seven years after the abortion, they married on October 24, 2025.

God has given us at My Ashes to Beauty the distinct honor to walk with women who have felt all alone and tormented by the evil one. They come into our safe community and they feel the love of Jesus in our actions and words. God’s Holy Spirit is present on our conference calls and in our Bible studies. His fingerprints are all over this ministry, because it is His.

Please share a Scripture verse and a brief testimony about 3-5 minutes of what God has done in your life this year. We want to praise the Lord and thank Him for His abundant blessings.

To those who’ve been on the conference calls and also those reading online, thank you. I am so grateful to God for all of you.

I wish you and your families a very Blessed Thanksgiving.

You can reach out to me via email at:
toni@myashestobeauty.com

You are loved,
Toni

 

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What Is a Demonic Stronghold?

What Is a Demonic Stronghold?

What Is a Demonic Stronghold?

by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Warfare

Scriptures: Psalm 18:2-3, 1 Peter 5:8, John 8:32b-c, and Psalm 91:1-4

Psalm 18:2-3
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, so shall I be saved from my enemies.

Definition of Stronghold: A fortified place or a fortress. An area dominated or occupied by a group or marked by a quality. Taken from The American Heritage College Dictionary.

As I read Psalm 18, it says that God is my stronghold.

We have a choice who we will allow to be our stronghold: God or the evil one.

There are things we do that make us vulnerable to the enemy, which create an opening where he gains a foothold, if not challenged or acknowledged will then become a stronghold.

I have heard a stronghold also referred to as having, “a hook in our soul.” The hook represents a spiritual entry by the evil one, either through unconfessed sin, trauma, abuse, and/or drug and alcohol usage. Once he has access, he lays a snare for us and torments us with lies and deceptions.

Due to the chaos in my home of origin, I learned to hide in my secrets to protect myself. It was my safe place. I could control people’s reactions and protect myself so I thought. I didn’t grow up knowing how to use my voice properly, and I had no boundaries, so you can imagine why hiding in my secrets was my safe place.

For me, my secrets were the area the enemy had a stronghold, a hook in my soul. I started hiding in my secrets at the age of 12 when I started sneaking Scotch Whiskey from my parents’ liquor cabinet. But it didn’t stop there; this sin opened up a door to all kinds of ungodly behavior while outwardly I still appeared to be the “good quiet one” in the family. I strived for perfection in all I did to receive recognition from others. So, hiding in my secrets was important to keep up this façade.

I was living a double life. I had a distorted view of reality because of the torment from the evil one. I hid in my secrets for over three decades. I had a huge hook in me because of my fear of rejection and abandonment. I was afraid if I shared some things people would reject and abandon me or would be harsh and cruel. The fear of that rejection and abandonment caused me to terminate the life of my son.

When I was saved by the grace of God at the age of 34, I still feared the reactions and comments of others, so I told half-truths, but I was still holding back some information. If I am not careful, I can easily go there (withholding information) so as not to hear someone’s cruel and harsh comments. In a way, I felt it was self-preservation. God calls it something else: sin. I should not fear man, but rather fear God.

When I hold back information, I am trying to control the outcome and that is codependency. Instead of trusting God with the results, I am manipulating the situation. I don’t like how this feels. I am uncomfortable, and I feel like I am walking on eggshells. This causes anxiety in me as I imagine how the conversation will go. And I am not doing anything wrong or ungodly, but the evil one has me hiding to get me in this vulnerable place. He is a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour (Ref. 1 Peter 5:8). He and his minions are continually observing me and watching for my reactions to things. Then he knows he’s got me in his trap.

The best way to combat this is head on. I pray and ask God to go before me to prepare that individual’s heart, and then I ask Him to give me the words to say. For the most part, it goes well, but sometimes it doesn’t. But I am relieved when it is over and I am no longer being tormented about it.

We need discernment when speaking with certain individuals, especially if they are unsafe emotionally. There is a fine line between discernment and waiting for the right time, and withholding information out of fear. The longer I hold onto something, the harder it becomes to share and the bigger it grows and consumes my thoughts; that’s where the hook comes in. Then, of course, the enemy torments me with all kinds of scenarios and possible outcomes. I am robbed of my peace and joy because of my fears.

By confessing my sin to God, He removes the hook. When I seek Him daily, I am protected from the enemy’s attacks. Each morning, I put on my spiritual armor. Confessing sin is part of my daily devotional time with the Lord. I do not want the evil one to gain a foothold, which can turn into a stronghold. Being in the Word of God daily and memorizing Scripture is the best way to protect myself from the evil one. I ask God to remove any blindness so I can see clearly my character defects, my sins, and shortcomings. I ask Him to bring them into the light so I can confess and repent so I can be forgiven and healed.

Jesus said in John 8: 32, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” God’s Holy Word is Truth. He is our refuge and our fortress, our stronghold. He is our hiding place, and He is our protector. The Sword of the Spirit is the Word of God. With it, we are able to slash the lies of the enemy in two (Ref. Ephesians 6: b-c). He covers us with His wings so we are protected by the fiery darts of the enemy. We are safe when we stand on the truth and under His mighty wings.

I want the Lord to be my stronghold because I know He will not abuse me; He is gentle, kind, caring, and compassionate. Lord give me the courage to speak up when I need to and not to delay. Help me to trust You more in this area.

Questions to take to heart:

1.) What is an area in your life you need to watch carefully because Satan had a huge hook in you?

Secrets is the area I need to watch carefully. I need to use my voice and share things right away before the enemy has a chance to torment me about things. I need to be more intentional and proactive in this area.

2.) How did God remove that hook?

In February 2010, I was in a very dark place and asked God to take me home because I couldn’t deal with the pain in my life anymore. He asked me if I trusted Him, and I said yes. He then opened a door and I was introduced to a local ministry that dealt with childhood wounds from dysfunctional families. I was a part of an intense inner healing and a high–accountability group for five I worked on adult-child recovery work and journaled every day for five years. I heard from God like never before. I began to trust God more and more. He showed me that having secrets is lying and that lying is a sin. He told me to stop running and hiding, which in essence I was doing by not telling the whole truth. He wants me to be bold and courageous.

3.) How can we pray for you?

Please pray that I will fear God more than man and I will speak up quickly. Pray God gives me the courage to speak the truth and to trust Him.

I pray this topic has been helpful for you. If you need to talk, please reach out to me: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

 

You are loved,
Toni

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My Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

My Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

My Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

by Toni Weisz/Abuse Recovery

Scriptures: Hebrews 13:5c, Romans 12:1-2, John 8:31-32 and Zephaniah 3:17

Romans 12:1-2
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good and acceptable perfect will of God.

John 8:31-32
Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in my word, you are my disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Coping mechanisms are defined as techniques we use to help us cope with the stress, pain, and trauma we have experienced in our lives.

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms:

  • Avoidance and Isolation
  • Drugs and Alcohol
  • Denial
  • Busyness
  • Rationalization
  • Control

From my childhood, I learned avoidance and isolation to keep me safe from unhealthy people or situations. Running and hiding is what I learned as a small child, and I still used those tactics as an adult until I got into recovery and learned new healthy coping mechanisms. Praise God!

Instead of avoidance, God gave me a voice, and I learned to communicate my likes and dislikes. I never developed a voice growing up, but once I put up boundaries, using my voice was necessary to communicate those boundaries to others. As time went by, I felt more comfortable sharing my heart with others without fear of rejection. God also told me to stop running and hiding and to leave the outcome to Him.

I started using alcohol and drugs at 12 years old when I was not getting the healthy attention I needed at home. I decided to start taking matters into my own hands, which was a defining moment in my life. As a result of that choice, I would run to other things other than God when I was hurting. I just wanted a quick fix to avoid the pain I had accumulated all my life. I used people and allowed them to use me. My life was filled with regret, fear of rejection, depression, suicidal thoughts, and self-hatred. I thank God for having mercy on this broken woman. He saved me from my self-destructive lifestyle. I now run to Jesus to take my pain away. He is the only one who will never leave me nor forsake me (Ref. Hebrews 13:5c).

I was in denial about the dysfunction in my home of origin and my home with my husband and children for many years until I realized I cannot control another person and that doing anything out of fear never ends well. I don’t have the power to change another person; only God does. So, I relinquish control to God to change others or situations when I feel powerless. I was in denial due to my fear of rejection from my parents and spouse, so I obeyed ridiculous rules to be accepted and loved by others, but that never worked. When I finally received the love of Jesus in my heart, then I had the courage to stand on my own without fear of rejection from others because I knew God was with me, always.

Busyness was a tool the enemy used on me for decades. His purpose was to keep me so busy that I would not have time to recognize my dysfunctional life. My striving for love and acceptance, even from God, kept me working so hard to feel worthy. I never stopped long enough to evaluate my life, my choices, my relationships, my unhealthy view of myself, God, and others. I was so messed up, but I could not see that until God showed me my ways were not working.

Back in 2010, I was so depressed I asked God to take me home because I just wanted to die. And He said, “Do you believe I can turn things around for your good?”

I said, “Yes, Lord, I believe that.”

He said, “TRUST ME.”

After that, I got into ACA recovery work and an inner healing group for five years. God was exposing the lies with His truth. I was learning about boundaries and what that looks like, and He showed me that I was enabling abuse from others by not using my voice. God had me stop from all serving at church and First Care because I was that sick and needed God to intervene to heal me. God was so faithful and put the right people in my path, and I was healed and set free from all the dysfunction in my life and started experiencing true peace and freedom in Christ. In January 2013, I started this ministry. Praise Him!!! Thank you, Jesus.

I rationalized my abuse, thinking I must not be a person of value or else others would treat me differently. After my abortion, the enemy told me I deserve to be abused because of my decision to abort my child. My husband was very controlling, and my children and I were required to obey ridiculous rules. I rationalized in my head that if I didn’t obey those rules, he would leave me. The enemy used that lie for decades to keep me in bondage and in a very unhealthy home environment. I am thankful for the day I had courage to say, “No, I am not going to follow these rules,” and leave the outcome in God’s hands.

I was no longer fearful of him leaving. I trusted God to take care of me, and He did. My relationship with my husband now is better than it ever has been. I now know that I am loved and valued by God and that He doesn’t want me to accept abusive treatment from anyone; I don’t deserve to be abused regardless of my poor choices in the past. He loves me and wants me to use my voice to put up healthy boundaries and to protect myself from unhealthy people and situations. I cannot change my past. All I can do is learn from it and share my experience, strength, and hope with others so perhaps they can make healthy choices.

Control was a tool I learned to use when I was very young. I honestly believed I could control how others feel, what they do, and that I could control the outcome. That all was a lie. I had no control over any of those things. Areas I tried to control were how people reacted and behaved toward me. I tried to control what others saw in me by wearing a mask, and I also tried to control how much I weighed by taking speed, diet pills, and purging after I ate too much. God showed me by relinquishing control to Him that I can be set free from these obsessions and torment. He taught me to love myself just the way I am and to relinquish all control to Him because He will never harm me.

I am so grateful for the day I was set free from all my unhealthy coping mechanisms. I have learned new skills to help me cope with the pain and trauma from my past. I had to completely surrender everything and everybody to God. I no longer cared about what others thought of me. I didn’t obey ridiculous rules out of fear of being rejected, I now had a voice, and God has taught me how to use it to express my feelings in a healthy godly way. I am no longer in bondage to my old thinking and my old behavior patterns. I truly have become a new creation in Christ, with God’s help and by renewing my mind daily.

In Romans 12:2, the Bible says do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Daily time spent with God in His Word and listening to the Holy Spirit has helped me to move out of the chaos, dysfunction, and misery into a peaceful, joyful, and fulfilling life.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. What have you used in the past to help you cope with the trauma you have experienced in your life?
  2. How did you break those unhealthy destructive behaviors?
  3. What are some healthy things you do now to help you cope in a godly way?
  4. How can we pray for you?

I pray this topic has been helpful for you. Please reach out if you need to talk: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

I will leave you with one of my favorite verses:
Zephaniah 3:17
The Lord your God in your midst, the mighty One will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.

You are loved,
Toni

 

 

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.

The Rescue

The Rescue

The Rescue

by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Disciplines
Scriptures: Colossians 1: 13-14 and Isaiah 53:2e-3b and 62:2b

Colossians 13:1
He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.

Isaiah 53:2e-3b
There is no beauty that we should desire Him. He is despised and rejected by men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.

Last week, my parents had to put down their beloved dog of 16 years. This little fella was like a child to them. He was beautiful to look at, a full breed Chihuahua, reddish brown with a big bushy tail. He looked like a miniature fox. But he was quite spoiled and could do whatever he wanted. We all called him, “The Little Prince.”

The grief was too much for them, so when I went to see them five days later, my dad said, “I want you to find us a dog.”

“Oh, okay,” I said.

I had no idea where to even start, so I texted my daughter who has rescued four dogs, “How can I find them a dog?” She made a few suggestions, so I went online and started searching, putting in their criteria. I came to this little guy named Happy Boy and showed my mom, and she said, “Oh no, I don’t want that one.”

I agree, his photo was not very flattering. He looked kind of scruffy. Nothing to be desired. Sound familiar? In Isaiah 53:2e-3b, Jesus is described as, “There is no beauty that we should desire Him. He is despised and rejected by men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.”

I made a few phone calls and found a place, so after I left there, I went to go find them a dog. When I arrived at the shelter in, I looked at a few dogs, but none matched their criteria. They found one for me in a different city, so they made a call and I was on my way.

His name was Happy Boy, the same dog I found online that my mom did not want. Oh well, I was going to look at him anyway. He fit their criteria; his description read: friendly, loving, gentle, easy going, all the things they were looking for, but he was not pretty. I finally find this place located in a parking lot on the grounds of the Palm Beach Kennel Club.

I asked the young woman if I could see Happy Boy and she told me to wait outside and she would bring him to me. As I waited, I started a video to show my parents this little guy. When I saw him come, I said, “Hey, little guy, let me see you,” and he came running and jumped on my legs and was running all around. He was a bundle of joy and full of fun and energy. I thought, “Oh my, this is their dog. He looked much cuter than his picture. So, I called my parents and did a video call so they could see him. I told them that I could pick them up and take them to see Happy Boy the next day .

Once they saw him in the video, my dad said, “Bring him to us.”

“You mean buy him now?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said.

I said, “Okay,” and thought to myself, “I guess we are doing this.”

So, I went inside and filled out the papers and paid for Happy Boy. The young woman said we want to take a picture. When I picked this little guy up, he didn’t stop licking my face. I tried to raise my chin, but I could not escape his enthusiasm. He was so thankful, but I don’t think he understood he was being rescued. He just was so full of love that he couldn’t contain himself.

We were rescued also, by the precious blood of Jesus shed on the cross for us. I don’t think I understood the magnitude of this until recently. His death purchased my eternal life. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, (Ref. Colossians 1:13-14).

On the drive to my parents’ home, this little guy settled in nicely, still panting because it was so hot. I had him lay down on the front passenger’s seat. He must have licked my hand for five minutes, as I was holding his leash so he would not fall off the seat. He started to dose off, feeling safe, comfortable, and cool. For the last ten minutes, he became a little antsy and jumped into my lap, and I finished the remaining part of our ride with this guy literally in my face. It was so adorable. He is such a love, a pure joy.

We arrived at my parents just in time as they had just pulled into the garage with a huge box in their trunk. They had just come back from the pet store with this big fence for their new little member of the family. This would not only keep him under supervision but also give him a space for his bed, new toys, and water. This was probably three times the size of his old cage at the shelter.

I called several times over the next few days to find out how they were all adjusting, and the response was an astounding, “We are all doing well, and “Randy” (his new name), is adjusting nicely.” Doesn’t God give us a new name too?

Isaiah 62:2b, “You shall be called by a new name, which the mouth of the Lord will name.”

I hope this story touched your hearts, too.

Jesus purchased our freedom with His blood on the cross. He rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of Light. He also gave us a new name. I pray you have experienced this transformation for yourself. If you want to talk to someone about what it means to have a relationship with God, to be born again, please email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved,
Toni

 

“Happy Boy”
This picture was taken on the first day of his rescue from the shelter. June 6, 2025

The Rescue bu Toni Weis, HAPPY BOY

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When I Finally Received His Love

When I Finally Received His Love

When I Finally Received His Love

by Toni Weisz/Recovery Tools

Scriptures: Genesis 1:26, Matthew 10:30, and 1 John 1: 2-3, 7-9,

As a small child, I did not learn to use my voice. Instead, I hid in the background to keep under the radar. My home was chaotic and unsafe emotionally, and as a result, I became what people wanted me to be. I was labeled, “The good, quiet one.” I was fearful of rejection, so I became a people-pleaser. I believed the lie, “If I were perfect, I would be loved.” But that never worked. That’s when I started hiding and wearing a mask.

My need for love and acceptance caused me to hide parts of myself. I only showed the best parts of me so others would like me. This was not working for me, so I decided to rebel. When I was 12 years old, I started sneaking Scotch Whiskey from my parents’ liquor cabinet; then drugs at 13, sex at 16, and my abortion at 21. Now, I was really hiding. I didn’t want my parents to find out. They were very strict with me being the oldest, and I didn’t want them to be angry or disappointed in me.

As I got older, my sins were more and more grievous, and my secrets became bigger and bigger. So, I isolated even more and hid everything. My mask morphed as I got older. At this point, people-pleasing ruled my life. All I strove for were accolades from others and a place I could fit in and feel safe. But I would not find that for a very long time. Honestly, I lost my own identity because I wanted to fit in with others. I no longer knew what I liked or what I wanted to do because I became a chameleon and changed depending upon the group I was with. I had lost my own identity striving to please others. I so desperately wanted to be loved that I sought it from all the wrong places. I used people, and they used me. But I did not feel loved. I only felt even more alone.

I know many of you can relate to this. You did not experience a safe home environment where you were loved, cherished, or encouraged. Instead, you experienced horrific abuse, neglect, and abandonment. My heart breaks when I hear your stories, the very people who should have loved you did the opposite. I know it broke God’s heart too, and He wept. He also knew all the unhealthy things you would do to numb yourself to escape from the pain. Decades of bad decisions and even more sorrow and heartbreak.

God created each and every one of us in His likeness and image (Ref. Genesis 1:26). He knows us intimately, and every hair on your head is numbered (Ref. Matthew 10:30). He created us for fellowship with Him (Ref. 1 John 1:3). There is a hole in our hearts and a void in our souls that nothing else in this world can fill, except for a relationship with our Heavenly Father through His Son, Jesus.

Even after I was saved, I struggled believing I was loved by God. I was still striving for approval from God and others. I had taken my character defects and my false beliefs and had added them to my Christianity. It was Jesus plus pleasing others and Jesus plus my good works. I believed in my head that Jesus loved me, but that truth had not made its way to my heart yet. I struggled to believe that He could forgive all my sins. The enemy lied to me and told me my sins were too great and God would not forgive me. That is a lie from the pit of Hell.

The Bible says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

The blood of Jesus on the cross for us was sufficient to pay all of our sin debt. He was our propitiation, our substitute (Ref. 1 John 1:2). It is finished!

Slowly, God was revealing His truth to me, and I was replacing those lies from the devil with His truth from the Bible. I remember the day I received His love. I felt a lightness and a joy in my heart. I felt a quickening in my spirit. For the first time in my life, I felt loved completely for who I was. God’s love for me was not based upon anything I could do. He loved me because He created me and delighted in me. Jesus made a way for me to know the Father’s love.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. Have you received the love of Jesus in your heart? If you have received His love, how did God reveal that to you? Please share.
  2. If you have not yet received Jesus, are you fearful to trust God because of the trauma from your past?
  3. What lies do/did you believe about yourself?
  4. How can we pray for you?

My prayer for you is that you will trust God and allow His love to fill the inner most part of your being, because when you do, you will never be the same. Thank you, Jesus. Please reach out if you need to talk. Email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved,

Toni

 

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