Stinking Thinking: My Distorted View of God

Stinking Thinking: My Distorted View of God

Proverbs 23:7a, Romans 2:4d, 1 Corinthians 6:20, and John 3:16

 

Stinking Thinking refers to the negative thoughts that torment us especially when we are HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired) or have thoughts such as a distorted view of God and self, negative thinking, justification, fear, and anxiety. We will address each of these topics so we can discern between the lies we have believed over the years and replace them with God’s truth. Our goal is to equip you so you can have victory in these areas.

First, the Word of God says in Proverbs 23:7a, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” What we think about ourselves dictates how we see ourselves, God, and others, and how we respond to things. If we see ourselves as children of God, loved, cherished and adopted into God’s family, we will see we are truly special, set apart by God for good works. We will have a more positive view of the world. If we feel we are unlovable because of our past sins, and not a person of value, we will feel depressed, lonely, and hopeless. Can you see that what we think determines how we feel?

My first distorted view of God started when I was a very young child around 6 or 7 years old. I saw God as an angry God who was unapproachable. I was told as a child, if I did something wrong God would punish me, I was constantly waiting for the hammer to drop on my head every time I did something wrong. The church was old and had beautiful stained-glass windows, but inside it was dark, cold, and people spoke in Latin. I did not see the love of God there. All I saw were strict rules and harsh punishment for disobeying. I saw students hit with rulers on a regular basis. This kept me hiding again, like I did at home, when my father was having one of his angry outbursts.

It’s the goodness of God that leads to repentance. (Romans 2:4d) One method to modify behavior is through fear of judgement; the other is through love. God wants us to obey Him out of love and not out of fear. If you love someone and they love you, you want to spend time with this person, but when you think of someone as a harsh person, this is not someone who you feel safe and comfortable with. Do you see the difference? God is love, and His grace is undeserved. Because of what Jesus did for me on the cross, the least I can do is serve Him and obey His Word. I was bought with a price (1 Corinthians 6:20); the precious blood of Jesus paid the penalty for my sins and the sins of the whole world.

I did not see the love of God evident in my old church. It wasn’t until I was 34, when I attended a small Baptist church in NJ, that I heard the gospel for the first time. The building was very plain, no stained-glass windows. There was a cross in the front where the preacher stood and a piano. But one thing I did see displayed was the love of God that these people had. That’s what drew me to Jesus. It was the preaching of the Word of God through the Bible and the love of God in the words and actions and on the faces of the people who attended that small church.

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son… ” He loved us so much He gave His Son to die for you and me; that is a picture of sacrificial love. Thank you, Jesus, for willingly dying on the cross for us, I know it’s your love for the world that held you on that cross.

I believe the enemy is hard at work to distort our view of God, to make us doubt that He truly loves us and cares about us. Look at Eve in the garden, the snake (Satan), the deceiver and father of lies, trying to plant seeds of doubt in Eve’s mind regarding whether God’s Word can be trusted. I can imagine she was thinking, “God is holding back something good from me, He does not really love me because if He did, He would give me everything I want.” Adam and Eve did not know what was best for them, and it’s the same with us; we do not know what’s best for us either. God told us not to have sex before marriage. Was He holding out on us? No, actually He was protecting us, especially those of us who would abort our babies. He was trying to protect us and our babies.

I realized that it was out of love that God did not want me to have sex outside of marriage, because He wanted to protect me. If only I had trusted God and invited Him into my decision-making process and believed that He would provide for my baby and I, then perhaps I would have had courage to choose life for my baby. Instead my distorted view of God made me fearful to approach Him with my needs, which was the enemy’s plan. If the enemy can cause us to panic and not seek God’s wisdom, provision, and protection, then he has won the battle.

What were your distorted views of God when you were younger?

How do you see Him now?

 

Blessings,

Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
Why Is Forgiveness so Important to Our Well-Being

Why Is Forgiveness so Important to Our Well-Being

Matthew 6:14-15, Hebrews 12:14-15, Proverbs 16:24 and 17:22

God commands us to forgive others. In Matthew 6:14-15 Jesus says, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Unforgiveness toward another person is a sin and separates us from God. If God can forgive me of all the evil I have done, how can I not forgive others? When we are in sin, we give the enemy a foothold. To prevent the enemy from gaining this access to our lives and tormenting us, we must confess our sins. If I hold onto unforgiveness, I become resentful, and then eventually bitter. Hebrews 12:14-15 says, “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled…”

Unforgiveness left unchecked will defile all my relationships including and especially, my relationship with God. By releasing an individual into God’s hands for the offense they have committed against me or my family, I am handing them over to God for Him to deal with them. I then pray for that individual, continually asking the Lord to help me see the good in them and to help me forgive them. Forgiveness is a process. Keep asking God to help you forgive others.

In my family of origin, forgiveness was not demonstrated. Instead, we would just cut people off. For many years I didn’t see my cousins from my father’s side of the family because of some dispute. I picked up on that as a child and learned it as normal behavior. There is no grace and no forgiveness, only harsh words, actions and broken families. My family doesn’t apologize for things. They simply avoid bringing these things up for discussion, leaving the issues unresolved. Over time, I am supposed to forget about the offence because people will never apologize. However, I am a believer and am held to a higher standard; I am commanded to forgive others. I must obey God. He knows what is best for me. Holding onto unforgiveness destroys my peace; it controls me and torments me. On the other hand, when I forgive someone, they no longer have power over me and I am set free.

The Bible says that our words should be life affirming and encouraging to the hearer. Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.” In Proverbs 17:22 we read, “A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.” We represent God to a world sitting in darkness and torment. The world does not know what the truth is; it is deceived by the evil one.

The people I need to forgive who were involved in my abortion decision:

  • The nurses and doctor for performing my abortion
  • Law makers for making abortion legal
  • My boyfriend for not fighting for our baby
  • Myself for thinking it was ok to tell my boyfriend we didn’t need birth control

Who do you need to forgive?

Forgiveness leads to freedom. It sets me free from holding others responsible for the wrongs they have done. By releasing them to God, they no longer have power over me. I choose to let go and to forgive them. This is not always easy, but it is critically important for my peace with God and others.

—Toni

Further reading on this topic:

Forgiveness

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
Rachel Weeping for Her Children

Rachel Weeping for Her Children

Rachel Weeping for Her Children

by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Disciplines
Scriptures: Matthew 2:13,16,18

In Matthew 2:13
Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, “Arise, take the young Child and His mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I bring you word; for Herod will seek the young Child to destroy Him.”

Matthew 2:16
Then Herod, when he saw that he was deceived by the wise men, was exceedingly angry; and he sent forth and put to death all the male children who were in Bethlehem and in all its districts, from two years old and under, according to the time which he had determined from the wise men.

Can you imagine what Joseph and Mary were thinking at this point? They knew they had to flee because Herod wanted to destroy the child, Jesus, but they probably never imagined the evil that would befall their family and friends in Bethlehem. When the wise men did not return to tell Herod Jesus’ whereabouts, his anger was kindled against them and he made a decree to murder all the male children under the age of two. What a horror; I cry when I think of the depths of this evil. Joseph and Mary probably heard about what happened in Bethlehem. They were deeply grieved of the loss of these precious children but relieved that Jesus was spared.

We read in Matthew 2:18:
“A voice was heard in Ramah,
Lamentation, weeping, and great mourning,
Rachel weeping for her children,
Refusing to be comforted,
Because they are no more.”

I have wept for all the babies that have died from abortions. I have also wept over the broken hearts of the mothers and fathers. I have heard so many abortion stories over the past 18 years that I have lost count. Still, each time I hear one, my heart breaks for these precious women sharing their pain with me. I have felt like Rachel, weeping and not being able to be comforted.

But what could I do, Lord?

I knew I couldn’t stand by, especially after the first NY law passed. Watching lawmakers and pro-choice supporters giving each other high fives at the passing of this law was unfathomable. They just gave people permission to murder a completely developed baby, capable of living outside the womb. This is a vulnerable human being. What are we doing? Do we think God is going to continue to bless this country? I think not. So, I stepped up my game and started actively doing STS Bible studies with other women. If God can heal a woman’s broken heart, perhaps next time when she finds herself in this situation, she will choose life. I want to break this cycle of death and change it to one of life.

After seeing the movie, “Unplanned”, I was standing at my sink and God spoke to me through His Holy Spirit. He said, “Every child in the womb is mine.” I cried and said, “Yes, Lord, I know. Please forgive me for robbing you of the life you gave me. I am so sorry.”

Just this morning on October 16, 2024, in a vision, I saw a drawing in dark coal pencils of full-term babies lying on the ground dead and a woman standing with her head down, wearing a long dark dress and a dark bonnet, surrounded by multitudes of babies too numerous to count. The sky was gray and the ground was also. It was very bleak and dark. In the distance were the silhouettes of women standing in a semicircle looking at the devastation from a distance. I only saw the picture for a few seconds, but it had a profound impact on me.

Lord, what about all these babies born alive after a botched abortion, especially if Amendment 4 is passed? Is no one going to comfort them, hold them, feed them; are they just being left alone to die? I am weeping bitterly right now while writing this. Oh Lord, I cannot comprehend the sound and the sight of these precious babies dying. Oh Lord, please forgive us for doing this evil thing, discarding our children like a piece of trash. The Lord whispered to my heart, “I will come and take them with me to Heaven.” Thank you, Jesus, that gives me great comfort.

While I was on my knees crying out to God, His sweet Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, “Little Bird, you will be surrounded by these children in Heaven. Everyone will have work to do, and this will be yours. You will meet, hug, tenderly speak to and love on all these children. Because of your tears shed for them just like Rachel, this will be your work in Heaven.”

My Prayer:

Lord, I pray for each woman who is on this conference call or reading this blog and for all the lives that have been lost to abortion. I pray that we will be bold and courageous to defend the unborn and to protect women from experiencing this tragedy. Abortion is anti-woman; it is anti-family, and it is anti-God. Open the eyes of the blind so they can see that abortion is not contraception or women’s healthcare. It is the termination of a life, the termination of a gift from God, and is detrimental to the very soul of a woman. Father, we pray in the mighty name of Jesus that Your Holy Spirit will bring women out of the darkness into Your Light. Show them how much You love them; we pray Your love will penetrate the deepest part of their being. Father, we are confessing our sins, and we are asking you to forgive us and to heal our land. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

I know today’s topic is very hard and heavy. I think it’s important that we allow ourselves to go there to actually feel the pain and sorrow associated with abortion, not only our own but also of others. We need to inform women that abortion is not a quick fix. We need to be bold and courageous and to share our testimonies.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. How did today’s topic affect you?
  2. Do you feel it’s time for you to take the next step in your healing?
    3. For those who have experienced significant healing, what are you doing to get involved in protecting women and babies from abortion?
  3. How can we pray for you?

If God has tugged on your heart to get involved, there are numerous ministries and courses you can take to better equip you for the work of the ministry. Go to: www.myashestobeauty.com/resources.

Please reach out if you need to talk: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are deeply loved,
Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
Sanctity for Human Life

Sanctity for Human Life

Luci’s blog

As I write this, it is the 47th anniversary of Roe vs Wade when the US Supreme Court decided abortion will be “legal” in all 50 states.

Churches all across America recognize this 3rd Sunday in January each year, as Sanctity of Human Life Sunday. It is a day when we as believers, thank God for the gift of life, we remember those who have died as a result of abortion, and we commit ourselves to protect the unborn.

To give you an idea of where we are, here are some statistics:

From 1973 to 2017 more than 60 million lives have been lost to abortion.

Every year, an estimated one million abortions are performed in the US.

As many as 2,500 unborn babies lose their lives in abortions every day.

4 out of 10 women who choose abortion identify as Christians and are attending church at least once a month. The sad truth is, many of us have been affected by what has been promoted as a quick fix to an inconvenience. Some of us have personal experience, some have a family member or know someone who has had an abortion.

But we have been lied to by the enemy of our souls. In John 10:10, Jesus says, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” And the enemy has been involved in the killing of God’s children since the beginning of time.

Some of you may have hearts that are burdened with sins from your past. For some sins, it is harder for us to receive the forgiveness Christ offers than for others. Especially those sins committed against the body. Sexual sin and abortion are difficult to share and receive healing for because they touch us so deeply and there is great shame and stigma attached to them.

I am passionate about this because it has affected me personally. And I suffered so much for my choice! I was alone and afraid; I had no one in my young life that could speak truth to me. I was fed the lie that it wasn’t a baby and that I would be better off without it. For many months after the procedure, I was deeply depressed and felt empty inside over my decision; I cried every night. After being witnessed to over and over, I turned to the Lord Jesus for forgiveness because the burden was too heavy. He turned my life around and immediately forgave me. But I had to work through a lot of emotional struggles. I look back on that time and since the Lord showed me His forgiveness, over time I learned to let go of the guilt and shame I was holding on to and receive healing from the Lord through His Word and other believers.

The Lord exposed me to some compassionate and amazing Christians who were involved in the pro-life movement. And they helped me work through the fallout and heal to the point that I was able to minister to other hurting women who were alone in their secret suffering. It was a great relief to get rid of the burden of myself hate!

And the cross is open to all; the Lord receives all that ask for His forgiveness. There is healing available for grieving hearts that regret their involvement in abortion. It is not the unforgivable sin. Our Savior went to the cross for all sins.

When our hearts are surrendered to Jesus, we make better choices for ourselves and others. And there is support and protection in the body of Christ. But there are people out there who don’t know this yet. It’s up to us to share Christ love and truth with the those He brings into our lives and our church.

As we often say, the courts can make abortion illegal but only God through his church can make it unthinkable. The good news is, the abortion rate is declining but there are still so many we can reach out to with God’s love and healing!

—Luci

 

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