Our Dashed Dreams

Our Dashed Dreams

Our Dashed Dreams
by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Disciplines

 

Scripture References

Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV)
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Isaiah 61:7 (ESV)
Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore, in their land they shall possess a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy.

I never imagined I would abort my first child. I grew up in a large Italian family. (My mom was one of ten children.) At our family get-togethers, there were always children running around. I was the oldest granddaughter, so it was my job to look after the younger ones so the adults could talk without interruptions.

I loved children, and I even thought about getting a teaching degree. What happened to my childhood dreams? How did I go so far off the path I thought would be my life?

Sin destroyed my dreams. I decided that being the “good, quiet one” wasn’t working for me anymore. I wasn’t getting the love and attention I needed, so I decided to take matters into my own hands—a true recipe for disaster.

At 12 years old, I started experimenting with alcohol and began sneaking shots of Scotch whiskey while my parents were at my brother’s football practices. My sister and I were left at home to do the dishes for a short while, but that’s all the devil needed—a little bit of time to get me alone and wanting.

My child-brain started thinking of ways to get my needs met but in unhealthy ways. This destructive path the enemy led me down was one of drugs, alcohol, numerous sexual partners, and then my abortion at 21. It was a dark and destructive journey. I hid in my secrets and was tormented by the devil.

How did I get here? One bad choice after another after another; it happens that fast.

I would continue in this self-destructive pattern for 22 years. Thankfully, God finally rescued me at the age of 34 when I heard the gospel for the first time. Jesus died on the cross for MY SINS. I had never heard that before. I desperately needed and wanted someone to take all my sins, shame, and guilt.

I needed a Savior—someone to love me just for me. I found all those things in a relationship with Jesus. I am so grateful for the love, forgiveness, and peace I found in Him.

God has turned my mourning into joy. He has given me a new name, a new life, and a new calling.

No matter what you have done in your past, God is able to forgive and redeem what the devil has stolen. You can still have a wonderful, fulfilling, God-glorifying life. It just may look a little different from your original plan. But rest assured, God is a good Father and has a good plan for your life.

Will you allow Him to help you dream new dreams?

 

Questions & Final Thoughts:

  1. What were some of your childhood dreams?
  2. Did the devil steal your dreams of having children and a family?
  3. How have you been able to move on and dream new dreams?
  4. How can we pray for you?

I pray that the Lord will minister to your broken heart and give you new dreams. Please reach out if you need a listening ear or a word of encouragement. Email: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved,
Toni

 

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

Tools the Enemy Uses to Keep Us in Bondage: (Part 1) Fear

Tools the Enemy Uses to Keep Us in Bondage: (Part 1) Fear

Tools the Enemy Uses to Keep Us in Bondage: (Part 1) Fear
by Toni Weisz/ Recovery Tools

 

Scripture References

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given me the Spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind.

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

 

Question: What is preventing me from recognizing I have a problem?

 

Fear is a tool the enemy uses to keep me in my dysfunction: the fear of change, the fear of the unknown, and fear that if I do change, I will lose a relationship.

What are your fears? Make a list of them all.

What is preventing you from truly looking at your life and asking God to help you change?

When I truly ask and seek the truth, God shows me my wounds and the lies I believe about Him, myself, and others. Once He shows me those areas, I accept them and seek His wisdom to change the things I can.

My areas of woundedness were once fear of rejection and abandonment, and believing the lie that if I was perfect, I would be loved. These fears caused me to become a people-pleaser and made me think I had to earn love from others and God.

I believed God would not forgive my sin of abortion, that my sin was too great. Now I know that was a lie from the enemy to keep me in bondage. I also believed I deserved to be emotionally abused because of my sins.

All this unhealthy thinking kept me in emotionally abusive relationships, isolation, depression, and hopelessness. But God in His mercy and grace filled my heart with His unfailing love, giving me the courage to step out of the darkness into His beautiful transforming light.

He helped me recognize the root causes of these lies and how to shred those lies to pieces using the Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God.

 

How can we pray for you?

I pray this topic has helped you to discover and conquer the fears and the root causes in your own life. Please reach out if you need prayer or a word of encouragement. Email: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved,
Toni

 

Read Part 2 here

 

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

Unmet Expectations

Unmet Expectations

 

Unmet Expectations
by Luci Boudreaux/Spiritual Insights

Scripture References:

Hebrews 4:16
“Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Psalm 27:13–14
“I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage wait for the Lord!”

 

After I surrendered my life to Jesus at age 25, I was so excited to go with God and live for Him. After years of mental and physical abuse by others and by my own poor life choices, which included abortion, I was anxious to start fresh. And I dared to dream for a normal life with God at the center.

I attended church, studied the Scriptures and hung out with other like–minded believers. I had great expectations about how God would fulfill my dreams to be a wife and a mom. And seeing all the young families at church intensified my longing to have my own family.

Years passed as my hopes and dreams went unfulfilled, in spite of my prayers. I got tired of waiting on God, so I took control and started dating a man who said the things I wanted to hear, but he turned out to be the opposite of the godly man I wanted to be with. You can read the whole story about “The Angel of Light” on MyAshesToBeauty.com under Luci’s Blogs, Abuse Recovery.

After three years of abuse and separation from God, I ended the relationship and surrendered my singleness to the Lord. And not long after this, I met the man that I’ve been so thankful to be married to for 21 years! In this difficult experience, God taught me that waiting on His timing and trusting His wisdom brings the best results.

Fast–forward to today, and again, God has me in a place of learning to trust and believe His promises. I have been physically suffering for years with GI tract and stomach pain. You might say, I carry stress in my gut! In the last few months, it has become debilitating. I’ve been aggressively reading and applying what the experts tell me to do, but nothing has brought relief. I also searched for a healthcare professional that could help to heal me. But as I prayed for guidance and searched for months, the doors continued to close.

My hope was fading as I questioned God, “Why? Why all this suffering? Why all this waiting?” In my weakened state, I believed the lie that God would not bring healing and that He wasn’t hearing my cries for help.

In this process, God showed me that I needed an adjustment in my perspective because I had lost sight of what He was and is always doing in the life of His children. He was helping me see that I was allowing the cares of this world to affect me, that I was anxious about many things, and it was manifesting in my body breaking down. In addition, he was preparing the perfect time for me to meet the right doctor. And as an added bonus, which I know was part of His plan, I not only met her but was also able to minister to her very precious mother who happened to be visiting.

God is not in the business of meeting our desires and needs in what WE believe to be the perfect time. He wants everything to be for our ultimate good (heart, mind and spirit) and for His glory. Just like Job, we can’t understand the mind of God, nor can we see the incredible plans He has for us. We have to trust that He loves us beyond our wildest dreams.

God has had His hand on my life circumstances this whole time! But He was waiting for me to give Him control and to trust His promises for me, as Scripture guides us. And one passage to emphasize is Psalm 25:9: “He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble His way.”

 

QUESTIONS:

What are you hoping and waiting for in your life?

Do you have a testimony of how God has answered your prayer in a way that surprised and blessed you beyond your expectations?

How can we pray for you?

 

I pray this topic has been helpful for you. You can reach me at: overcomer982@icloud.com.

 

Blessings,

Luci

 

 

Back to Luci’s Blogs

How to Overcome Negative Thoughts

How to Overcome Negative Thoughts

How to Overcome Negative Thoughts
by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Warfare

Scripture References:
Matthew 10:29–31 and 1 Peter 5:5e–9a

Lately, I have been really struggling during the day with negative intrusive thoughts. And then at night, I toss and turn for a few hours before I am able to fall asleep. I find that when my mind is not distracted with Christian music or radio, it immediately goes to certain people and situations from my past of the wrongs that have been done to me and my children. They keep coming back up one by one. I am continually trying to push them out of my head and forgive, but it’s a constant drip, drip, drip in my mind. I don’t feel peace and joy, and I don’t like the way this feels.

I am feeling inadequate and defensive. I have been triggered in the past by the phrase, “in the real world.” This is an old tape the enemy has been bringing up to me lately, and frankly, it has been working. I feel less than others because I don’t make as much money as they do. I find myself being harsh and prideful in my comments, desperately trying to convince myself and them that I do know what I am talking about and that I do live “in the real world.”

I was extremely triggered recently with a conversation I had with a family member. I felt my voice was getting louder, and I was defending myself as I was pushing back tears. I am thinking, “What in the world is going on?” That phrase, “in the real world,” came up, and then I just fell to pieces emotionally.

I was able to listen to his story and reasoning, and then I was able to apologize for responding the way I have been. It ended well, but I still feel vulnerable. I think a lot of this comes from my son’s prolonged illness and then his wife being equally ill. Neither one can work or take care of the other one. Thankfully, Mike is improving, and he is working hard to increase his body’s strength and capacity. But it is still hard.

I think, deep down, I am doubting God, even though in my journaling, He told me this trial will be over soon and Mike will be healed. It’s during the waiting that the enemy comes in to beat us down. He sees we are vulnerable and wants to inflict pain by reopening old wounds.

In 1 Peter 5:8, the Bible warns us to be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about seeking whom he may devour.

He has been on the prowl for a while because I have been very vulnerable for a very long time. I have tried my best to stay in the Word, pray, and stay in community, but I think I need more.

I am confessing this to you because I need your prayers. I know that the spiritual warfare surrounding this ministry has always been intense and relentless. I know some of you have been equally vulnerable and weary because of the things that you deal with on daily basis.

Let’s take some time today to lift each other up in prayer to encourage one another. I want to walk in peace again. I want to feel the joy of the Lord in my heart. I want the enemy’s fiery darts to be extinguished and silenced, in Jesus’ Name.

Our significance does not come from how much money we make or our status. It never has. Our significance comes from our relationship with Christ.

I hope these Bible verses encourage you:

1 Peter 5:5e–9a
God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring line seeking whom he may devour. Resist him steadfast in the faith.

Matthew 10:29–31
Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs on your head are numbered. Do not fear therefore, you are of more value than many sparrows.

 

Questions to take to heart:

  1. What are you dealing with right now that the enemy is using to beat you down?
  2. How are you able to quench the fiery darts of the wicked one?
  3. How can we pray for you?

I pray this topic was helpful for you.

You are loved,
Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

Prayer for Revival

Prayer for Revival

Prayer for Revival
by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Discipline

Scripture References: Psalm 51:1–17, Psalm 139:23–24,
2 Timothy 2:21, James 5:16, and Ephesians 4:29–31

Read Psalm 51:1–17

In February 1970, revival broke out at Asbury College in Wilmore, Kentucky.

On Wednesday, February 8, 2023 (53 years later almost to the day), revival again broke out on the campus at Ashbury University in Wilmore, Kentucky. After chapel service, some students lingered for spontaneous worship, prayer, and confession. The revival continued for many days and spread to other universities, and many people traveled from all over the world to experience God in that place.

PRAYER & SCRIPTURE

We are hungry for You, Lord. Just like in 1970, there was much turmoil in the world, the Vietnam War, protests, bad economy, high gas prices, inflation, and chaos all around, not much different today in our world. People are hurting. They are confused and fearful about what the future will bring. But our hope is in You, Lord. Only You know it all, see it all, and control it all.

We humble ourselves before you today and ask Your Holy Spirit to help us. We cry out as David did in the Psalms.

Psalm 139:23–24
Search us, O God, and know our hearts. Try us, and know our thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in us, and lead us in the way everlasting.

Lord God, remove any blindness that may be keeping us from repenting of sin in our lives.

2 Timothy 2:21
Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.

We want to be clean vessels sanctified and useful in your kingdom work. Purify us by the Word of God and the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

Father God, we are expecting You to move mightily to heal the brokenhearted and to heal all our wounds. We are waiting for you to heal us and our families from disease and demonic oppression, in the name of Jesus, we pray.

We are praying for our family members, friends, and neighbors who do not know You yet, that Your Holy Spirit will break their hearts of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Have mercy upon them, O Lord. We are crying out to You for revival in our own hearts, our homes, our neighborhood, our state, our nation, and the world. Come, Holy Spirit, and have Your will and Your way in us today.

We are surrendering all to You today. We are asking, seeking, and knocking on the door. Let revival continue right here and right now in us.

In the powerful name of Jesus, we pray, amen.

James 5:16
Confess your faults one to another and pray one for another that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Ephesians 4:29-31
Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

 

Preparation for Revival:

  1. Is there someone who you are harboring unforgiveness toward for something they did or did not do?

Would you like to confess that right now?

 

  1. Are you willfully going against what you know is right?

Would you like to confess that now?

 

  1. Is there something that you are unknowingly doing that is not honoring to God? Ask the Lord to show you so you can repent.

Would you like to confess that now?

 

  1. Are you angry with God because you are really struggling with loneliness, depression, loss of job, health issues, a relationship, and God is not moving fast enough and you are really suffering?

Would you like to confess that now?

 

Please reach out if you need prayer or encouragement. You can email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

 

You are loved,

Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!