by Toni Weisz/Recovery Tools
Scripture References: John 8:31–32, 36

John 8:3132, 36
Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

“Therefore, if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”



You may have heard the familiar recovery term, “You’re only as sick as your secrets,” and it is a true statement. Until we feel safe to share our secrets, we keep them locked up in a type of “Pandora’s Box,” where we keep all of our deepest and darkest secrets hidden, because we fear them coming out to expose the ugly truth.

For the postabortion woman, it is the truth that we terminated the life of our child. This horrible secret was our child. For those of us who have been abused, our fears of retaliation, rejection and judgment keep us silent. Where can we go to share in a safe place?

God doesn’t want us operating in secrets because He knows how destructive isolation and secrets are. I started secrets when I was 12 years old, hiding my drinking. Then it was getting high at 13, then sex at 16, and the worst offense was my abortion at 21.

My secrets and sins were piling up, and it became harder and harder to keep them from coming out. I feared my parents’ reaction, punishment and disappointment in me. I knew all of this was wrong, but I kept those secrets until I was 50 years old.

They had no idea about my destructive, sinful, sorted past because I wore a great mask. It was not an easy conversation, but I wanted them to hear it from me because I was starting this ministry and I didn’t want them to find out from another source. It needed to come from me. I felt a great release when I was finally able to share this with my parents.


First, secrets keep us isolated from God and others, and that’s exactly where the enemy wants us. He wants us isolated and hiding because then he can torment us over and over again, until we realize what’s going on. Secrets keep us from the very people that can help us.

Second, the dysfunction is perpetuated and will continue as long as we nurture this thing, and protect it, like it was some prized possession. The secret needs to be exposed and brought into the light.

Third, secrets can hinder or prevent healing in our lives. Because of the abuse many of us have experienced in our past, we are already fearful of exposure, and we think this secret is a way to keep us safe. But actually it is causing us to stay sick. God gives us the courage to step out of isolation and secrets so we can be healed.

Fourth, secrets are destructive because they distort our view of reality, and we feel like we are all alone. Secrets are usually combined with lies that we believe about ourselves, God, or others. God’s Word and the Holy Spirit help us to know the truth so we can walk in it and so these secrets and lies can no longer hold us back from becoming the women God created us to be.

God wants us free from bondage. Secrets keep us in chains and in darkness.

Jesus came to set the captives free.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. What secrets are you still holding onto?
  2. Why are you fearful to share them? Is it fear of retribution, fear of rejection, fear of hurting another person, fear of abandonment, or fear of judgment?
  3. When did you have the courage to share your secrets?
  4. How did you feel after you shared your secrets?
  5. How can we pray for you?

Please be aware that even in Church, there are some people who are emotionally unsafe to share secrets with. Make sure it is a person/group you trust.

I pray you have the courage to trust God and allow Him to show you the areas of your life that need healing. Trust Him with your secrets.

If you need help, please reach out to me. My email is:


You are loved,



Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.