The Root of Bitterness

The Root of Bitterness

The Root of Bitterness

By Toni Weisz/Spiritual Disciplines

Scriptures: Hebrews 12:14-15, Ephesians 4:26-27, 31 and James 5:16a

Hebrews 12:14-15
Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by this many become defiled;

Ephesians 4:26-27, 31
Be angry and sin not: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking put away from you with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

James 5:16a
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.

Have you ever struggled to forgive someone, and it seems like a hundred times a day you keep thinking about all the bad things they said and did to you. Each time you bring them to the Lord and forgive them, but it’s not working. The evil one keeps bringing all these offences into your mind and heart and he is tormenting you with them. You try to forgive them the best you can, but for some reason, it is not working. I had that happen to me recently.

When I journal in the morning to the Lord, I ask Him to reveal any blindness or secret sins that I am not aware of so they can be brought into the light. Each morning, I read The Bible for Hope by AACC (American Association of Christian Counselors). Each morning, I read a different topic and the Scriptures that go with it. One morning, I was reading about bitterness. The Lord removed my blindness in this area, and He showed me I was jealous and envious of my family, and because of that, I could not forgive them. I first needed to confess my sins to God and then ask Him to remove this huge root that had been growing for 30 years. He had to do major surgery on my heart because this thing was huge. After all, He is the Great Physician (I couldn’t resist that, lol). I asked Him to remove this root and to replace it with His love, joy, and peace. And He did. It was done, no more struggling, no more playing old tapes, no more comparing their lives to mine. It was done. I was set free from my torment.

This root had prevented me from truly loving my family the way Christ wanted me to; instead I felt like a martyr. I was the poor little thing. That was a lie. God plucked me out of my family of origin, and I was adopted into God’s family. They don’t know the Lord. They are scrambling, trying to hold onto everything this world can give. I, on the other hand, have an incorruptible inheritance that no one can take away. No one can pluck me out of the Father’s hand. I have eternal security, which is more valuable than anything else this world can offer me.

I no longer yearn to be accepted by them. I don’t need to feel like I belong, because I know I belong to God and His Son has covered all my sins. My life has been redeemed from destruction; He crowns me with loving kindness and tender mercies. I am a daughter of the King. And that’s just fine with me.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. Do you struggle with forgiving others for what they have done to you in the past?
  2. Has it created a root of bitterness?
  3. Ask God to show you what is preventing you from truly loving and forgiving them.
  4. How can we pray for you?

I pray that you too can be set free from the chains of unforgiveness and bitterness. If you need to talk, just email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved,
Toni

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I Am Still Responsible for my Actions

I Am Still Responsible for my Actions

I am Still Responsible for my Actions
by Toni Weisz/Recovery Tools

Romans 3:23, John 16:8, Philippians 4:13, Matthew 7:7-8, and Psalm 147:3

We have all grown up in homes that were dysfunctional because we have all been born into sin and have a sin nature. The Bible says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23). Some of us have experienced extreme neglect, abuse, abandonment, and rejection. This has caused a deep wound in our souls and a distorted perception of love. Because of this trauma, we don’t trust others and are fearful of them coming too close; we don’t want to be hurt again. For this reason, it is hard to trust that God is not going to hurt us either. Many women struggle developing an intimate relationship with God, our Heavenly Father, because they did not have a good relationship with their earthly father.

Regardless of what we have experienced in our lives, we are still responsible to make good, healthy, godly decisions. It’s the Holy Spirit inside us that leads us to walk in the truth and convicts us of sin, righteousness, and judgement (Read John 16:8). We have the ability through the help of the Holy Spirit to stop the cycle of dysfunction stemming from our home of origin or the traumas we’ve experienced elsewhere.

We can make good choices. We do not have to react to things without pausing, praying, and thinking through them. We are in control of our thoughts and actions. In fact, it’s the only thing we have control over. We have to make a conscious decision not to perpetuate this dysfunction and pass it onto our children and future generations. The only way we can do that is by:

1. Having a relationship with Jesus.

2. Getting help either through Christian counselling and/or recovery meetings, and reading helpful books.

3. Having accountability—a safe person or community to help keep you working on yourself.

Questions:

  1. What areas did you have to work on as a result of past trauma?
    Toni:     Rejection was a huge wound for me. Also trusting others not to control, manipulate, and use me was another. I had to learn to use my voice and put-up healthy boundaries to protect myself. I had to learn self-control because I was a walking volcano, filled with rage. I learned why I was so angry and came to terms with that. God has healed me in all these areas because I was willing to let Him in and heal me.
  2. What are some areas you still need to work on?
    Toni: I have been struggling with codependency, so I started reading the book, Codependency No More, by Suellen McDolly. It has been very helpful for me to stop and check my motivation for doing the things I was doing. I always want to be willing to work on myself. When I am triggered by something, I ask God to show me what’s really going on. I usually journal when this happens because I need to hear from Him in a place where/when I am ready to listen.

Our healing is a lifelong process, but if God is involved in it, we will be victorious. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Read Philippians 4:13). If you are just starting your healing journey, keep asking God to help you, keep seeking Him with your whole heart, and keep knocking on the door for more insight and godly wisdom (Read Matthew 7:7-8). God is faithful, and He wants to bind up your broken heart and heal your wounds (Read Psalm 147:3).

I pray this was helpful. Please reach out; we are here to help you and to pray for you.

You are loved,
Toni

arwsg4u2@gmail.com

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.