Forgiveness—God’s Way

Forgiveness—God’s Way

Forgiveness—God’s Way

By Luci Boudreaux/Spiritual Insights
Scriptures: Matthew 5:44 and Mark 11:25

Matthew 5:44 “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,”

Mark 11:25 “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

 

In my youth, I learned all about the impact of unforgiveness before I ever understood the incredible power and freedom of God’s plan; and that is forgiveness! That is what we will be talking about today.

I have a brother who is two years older and was incredibly mean to me from a very early age. I was an easy target since there was very little supervision in our home. He tormented, made fun of, beat up on and laughed at me regularly. As we grew older, he became more abusive in his behavior. And by age 11, he and another brother began to sexually molest me. I didn’t dare tell anyone because my greatest fear was that no one would believe me, and if they did, I would be blamed somehow. At 12, I was raped by a stranger in the neighborhood and was robbed of my virginity and whatever childhood innocence I had left. I escaped my abusive home environment at the age of 15. And I took my anger, confusion and bitterness with me into every relationship. Unfortunately, I experienced more violations and abuse from strangers out in the world.

The relationships that I did have were very toxic. I was promiscuous and emotionally unavailable. And when I look back on that season of my life, I also chose men who were unhealthy as well. At 24, I became pregnant by a man whose name I can’t remember, as we had just met that one day and I never saw him again. Unfortunately, I chose to abort my baby. And that was a devastating decision that broke me!

But, praise be to God that, approximately nine months later, the Lord revealed His Spirit, His truth, and I was born again! But there were layers of lies and wounds to process and release to the Lord. So, in my childlike obedience, I did the only thing I knew to do. I surrendered all these hurts and atrocities to Jesus, my Savior. I assumed that once I forgave as the Bible teaches, it was behind me. But I was wrong! The emotions of unforgiveness continued to rise up in my heart, as certain situations triggered them.

So I had a decision to make; I could try and bury the memories of the wrongs done to me and forget about them. But the problem with this is, it continues to surface along with the root of bitterness that continues growing inside.

As a follower of Christ, I worked on past wounds that were causing pain, and in that process, I specifically forgave my brother and have been praying for him for decades. But I recently found out that he has cancer and will need surgery. You would think that at once, I would pray for him, but what happened really surprised me! my immediate response was, “I don’t want to pray for him; he’s awful.”

When the thought came to me, I was convicted. So I took it to the Lord, and He began to help me sort through the unforgiveness, again. I realized there was still a remnant of unforgiveness in my heart against him. I had to deal with it!

I am learning that forgiveness is not only a one-time obedient act for the Lord, but it is also an ongoing process that needs to be revisited when it creeps into our hearts.

What I hadn’t been considering was that he came from the same dysfunctional home as me. My father was very harsh and cruel to him and my other brothers. Although he’s never expressed it, I believe he is burdened from past abuse. And from working through this for myself and for so many others, I’ve come to understand that those who have been abused are prone to hurt others in similar ways.

 

Questions to take to heart:

Are you holding onto unforgiveness toward anyone?

How are you working through the process of forgiveness?

Are you finding it hard to forgive some over others?

 

Pastor Bill Elliff shares his perspective:

“Forgiveness is my responsibility as a choice of my will, made possible

by God’s grace, to release a debt, by faith, for the glory of God.”

 

Let’s look at the breakdown of the above statement:

“My responsibility”:
Regardless of what others have done, I am responsible for the sin of my unforgiveness.

“As a choice of my will, made possible by God’s grace”: It is not an act of my emotions but a choice I can always make because of the sufficiency of Gods empowering grace.

“To release a debt”:
The reason I am holding this in the ledger book of my heart is to make others pay (in multiple ways). Forgiveness transfers this issue from my courtroom to God’s, believing that He is fully capable of taking care of others.

“For the glory of God”:
There is nothing that illustrates God more clearly and shows others the remarkable power of God to help us through the deepest hurts of life than forgiveness.

 

You are loved,
Luci

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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My Loving Father

My Loving Father

My Loving Father

By Luci Boudreaux/Spiritual Insights

 

Scripture Verses: Ephesians 1:3-4 and 1 John 3:1a

Ephesians 1:3-4 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him in love.

1 John 3:1a “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.”

 

Many of you precious ones have been abused by your fathers or male figures in your life. So, it may difficult for you to see God as your loving Father. Or you may think God is not being gracious or kind when He allows trials or suffering. But He knows just what we need that will cause us to turn to Him and experience the richness of an intimate relationship. Sometimes, these trials are just what make us stronger and become more aware of His presence.

As a very young girl, I saw my father as the hard-working provider and accepted that he was too busy to spend time with me. I wanted to be with him, but there were very few opportunities, and when there were, he wasn’t emotionally available. As I grew into my teens, things became very contentious between us. He often accused me of being promiscuous even though I hadn’t been, yet.

As I look back, I see that he was intimidated by my becoming a woman. He didn’t want me talking to boys or exploring the concept of maturing. He labeled me as a tramp, which hurt me deeply. He expressed lots of anger and frustration. I had no idea how to cope with his misguided anger. So, I retreated from him as much as possible.

I began to seek out love and affection from other boys and men, which led me into a destructive life of promiscuity and substance abuse. This behavior came out of a deep sense of rejection and abandonment from my father.

The two examples that I had of what God is like were my father and the catholic church. They both fell short as they were hyperfocused on obedience and judgment. I hated the concept of God as a Father. But by His tender mercy, I came to know Jesus and accepted Him as Lord and Savior at the age of 25.

It took me a couple of years of prayer, reading the Bible, and seeing examples of godly men in the church to understand that God, my loving Father, is nothing like the earthly father I knew. And my relationship with Him became such a refuge of grace, forgiveness, and a constant loving presence! I came to know my Heavenly Father in a very personal way. I learned that I could go to Him in complete trust; I am safe with Him.

The relationship I have with my Heavenly Father is full of acceptance, joy, long-suffering, and intimacy! And I learned this by opening up to Jesus and learning about Him through the Scriptures.

When we see Jesus, we see the Father. I love the way Hebrews 1:3a says it: “He (Jesus) is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature.

How blessed we are that God reveals Himself to us!

Questions to Consider

  • What was your relationship with your earthly father?
  • Has it hindered you in any way from opening up to your Heavenly Father?
  • How were you able to overcome that obstacle and embrace your Heavenly Father’s love? Was it through Scripture, a godly man, or a combination of several things?

The Lord is merciful and patient, waiting for us to come to Him with all our cares and questions. I pray you will find hope and peace in His presence as you seek Him. You can reach me at: overcomer982@icloud.com.

 

Your friend,

Luci

 

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God’s “Perfect” Will

God’s “Perfect” Will

God’s “Perfect” Will

by Luci Boudreaux/Spiritual Insights
June 4, 2023
Scriptures: John 14:23 and Colossians 1:9b–12

 

John 14:23 (NKJV)
“Jesus answered him, ‘If anyone loves me, he will keep my word; and my Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him.’”

Col 1:9b–12 (NIV)
“We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.”

 

Before I met Jesus at 25, I had lived a hard life. I carried a lot of baggage because of others who had harmed me, both physically and emotionally. And because of my damaged self-image, I made a lot of poor choices. I abused alcohol and drugs and became promiscuous after being raped at age 12. As a single woman at 24, I got pregnant. Then I added injury to the pain and confusion by aborting my precious child.

As Jesus entered my life, He began to open my eyes and show me a love that I had never experienced. There was acceptance and a desire to know and be known, without fear of rejection. I knew I was safe, and this is when I began to open up to receive God’s will for my life.

Early on in my faith, I thought that God was in the business of answering “reasonable” prayers just because I prayed them. After all, I was His beloved daughter, and I knew He wanted to bless me. I strongly desired a godly husband and children, a smooth path to a vibrant ministry where I could share my faith and help other women who had been wounded, and to have no conflict with other members in the church.

I didn’t marry until I was 43, have no living biological children, didn’t establish a “vibrant” ministry (not how I imagined) and have had conflict with other members of the body of Christ. God hasn’t answered my prayers the way I desired. He did so much more! He answered them according to His perfect wisdom. So, I was able to grow closer to Him, and He has been glorified in my life.

As I grow in my faith, I am coming to understand that God’s perfect will is not always Him answering prayers according to my desires and my limited perspective. I am learning that His perfect will comes about when, in humility, I surrender. It’s key to a fulfilling relationship with Him. I had to come to the place where I wanted to fully surrender to God and be in an intimate relationship with Him, more than having any of my prayers answered, whatever that looks like.

 

Questions:

 

  1. Have you surrendered your will to God? If not, why? What are you afraid of?
  1. Are you in God’s will right now? If so, what does that look like?
  1. How do you respond to detours and unanswered prayers?
  1. How can we pray for you?