Spiritual Warfare in the Post-Abortion Bible Studies

Spiritual Warfare in the Post-Abortion Bible Studies

Spiritual Warfare in the Post Abortion Bible Studies
By Toni Weisz/Spiritual Warfare (Toni’s Blogs)
Psalm 91:1-12

Why is spiritual warfare so intense when women decide to step out to be healed from a past abortion?

I have been in the post-abortion ministry since 2006, when I went through my first post-abortion recovery Bible study. Unfortunately, no one prepared me for what was going to be one of the most tragic and saddest times of my life. Satan came in and ripped my family to shreds. My husband and children stopped speaking to each other; my husband and I had a huge conflict; my son’s roommate stopped paying rent and stole from him; my daughter broke up with her boyfriend because of a porn addiction. All of this started two-and-a-half weeks into my first post-abortion recovery Bible study. I was in shock, and I was numb. Much of that time is still a blur to me.

To give you a better idea of how this all started, allow me to set the scene for you.

It was January 22, 2006, Sanctity of Human Life Sunday. I was sitting in my Sunday school class learning about the book of Jeremiah. More specifically, we were discussing how God called Jeremiah to be a prophet from the womb. Our teacher asked each of us, “What has God called you to do?”

For years I had asked God to reveal my calling to me. Up until that day, I thought it was just to be a godly wife and mother. But the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said, “I want you to help other women feel forgiven for their past abortions.”

Immediately, I raised my hand and told our group what God had just shared with me. I then shared with my Pastor after the service what God had said. I was so excited but had no idea what this would mean or how this would change my life forever.

So, I told my husband, “God wants me to help other women heal from their past abortions.” His reaction was, “No, that’s not good for you; that will be too hard. You should be in children’s ministry. You will be happier there.”

To respect my husband, I did nothing. I just waited. During the third week of waiting, my Pastor preached on obedience. The Holy Spirit moved in me so strongly that I couldn’t let it go. I went to my husband again and said, “John, you don’t understand. God is calling me to this, and I have to obey.” Thus began my healing journey.

Over the years, I have learned so much from the things that have happened to me on this journey. It has shaped the way I think, speak, and treat others. Unfortunately, I was not treated with kindness during the early parts of my journey.

Instead, I received harsh, condemning feedback and was told it was my fault my marriage was not going well and that I was in sin. These painful words led me to accept unacceptable treatment from my husband. My facilitators and mentors did not have experience in any kind of recovery work or co-dependency issues. They did not recognize I was being bullied and emotionally abused.

I thank God for the equipping He has given me. He has given me patience, gentleness, and love toward women who have lost a child to abortion. I know from experience that many factors go into the decision to have an abortion. We don’t grow up as young girls thinking, “I want to abort my baby.” No. It’s not a natural thing for a woman to do.

I decided to write this blog post about the spiritual warfare surrounding post-abortion recovery because many of us will be involved in these healing Bible studies in some capacity. Whether you are a prayer partner, co-facilitator, or a participant, each of us will experience some kind of spiritual warfare.

Know this: the enemy does not want Christian women healed from a past abortion. He wants to keep us in bondage and chains, locked away in a dungeon to be tormented. This frightening truth inspired the name of our eBook, “Leading Them into His Light.” Long before the eBook, God gave me a vision of a dungeon and women sitting in darkness and in chains. Jesus held my hand as I went into the dungeons to grab the women out so they could be rescued from the enemy. It’s a beautiful picture of God’s love for us.

Our eBook is available on our website for a donation of any amount. In it, we share 17 women’s abortion stories (including my own) and how God turned our ashes into something beautiful for our good and His glory.

Right now, the enemy is trying to trip you up. I am experiencing it in my own home, and you might be also. The enemy will use those closest to you to take you down and discourage you. But do not waiver. God is greater and stronger than the enemy. Stay close to Him and He will protect you.

About six months ago I started reading Psalm 91 every day. I suggest you meditate upon it too. It will strengthen you for the inevitable battle ahead.

 

Questions & Closing Thoughts:

  1. What spiritual warfare have you experienced as a result of stepping out and wanting to be healed from a past abortion?

    2. What do you do to protect yourself from the enemy’s fiery darts?

    I am looking forward to an exciting year in which more women will be healed from the trauma of abortion. With the healing power of Jesus, we can reach even more women and stop this cycle of death in their families.

You are loved,
Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

My Savior’s Love for Me

My Savior’s Love for Me

 

My Savior’s Love for Me
By Toni Weisz/Abuse Recovery (Toni’s Blogs)
Jeremiah 31:3, 1 Corinthians 13:3-8a, Isaiah 9:6, and Zephaniah 3:17

Jeremiah 31:3
The Lord appeared of old to me saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.”

Lord Jesus, what do you want me to say to the precious sisters reading this right now? You know each one intimately. What are some words of encouragement that you want them to hear from Your heart to theirs?

Little Bird, I want you to say to them, “I have loved you with an everlasting love. My love for you is pure, holy, righteous, kind, gentle, and eternal. I am love; it is My character. I created love. I know many of you have been abused or neglected and you have felt rejection from those closest to you. I am so sad that you experienced those things. My desire is for every child to know they are loved from the moment of conception. If you only knew how much I loved you from a child, you would not have looked for it in other places and with other people. But your view of Me and My love were distorted by the father of lies. He doesn’t want you to know My love intimately because he knows the power of My love. It was My love for you that kept Me nailed to the cross so you could have eternal life with Me and the Father in Heaven. We loved you so much that the Father gave you the Holy Spirit, the Comforter to be with you always, so you would never have to walk alone again. All these things I am mentioning show you how precious you are to Me. I am so proud of you for stepping out of the darkness into My glorious light. You know that true healing only comes through Me, because I am the Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, and the Prince of Peace. I created you and I delight in you. I understand you better than you understand yourself. I know how to heal every broken part of your soul. Will you trust me today with your whole heart? Allow me to heal you in all your broken places. I want to do a miracle in your life. I will close with this. Zephaniah 3:17, ‘The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.’ You are my beloved.”

 

Questions:

Do you trust God?

Do you know how much you are loved by Him?

Will you allow Jesus into those broken places where you have not allowed anyone else to go?

I pray you will experience the love of God in the innermost part of your being and be forever changed.

 

You are loved,
Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

Abortion: Our Only Option

Abortion: Our Only Option

Abortion: Our Only Option

By Toni Weisz/Spiritual Warfare

Genesis 3:15 and Genesis 1:27

Genesis 3:15

“And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her Seed; He shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise His heel.”

Genesis 1:27

“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

 

It takes courage to be healed from a past abortion. Going back to look at the sins that contributed to our abortion decision is hard.

Did we seek God? No.

Did we ask a Christian friend? No.

Did we ask our parents for help? I didn’t. How about you?

From the time we are little girls, the enemy’s plan is to isolate us. That way, he has us exactly where he wants us when we are faced with life-altering decisions: alone.

In the book of Genesis, we learn that Satan’s purpose was to destroy the seed of the woman who would give birth to the Messiah. God’s response to Satan in the garden describes the struggle that would ensue because of this purpose: “I will put enmity (hostility) between you and the woman, and between your seed and her Seed; He shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise His heel” (Genesis 3:15).

Since that very moment, every child in the womb has become a target for Satan to destroy. Satan hates humans because we are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). He takes this hatred one step further by convincing women that abortion is a good thing. How sinister is that? It is evil and unnatural for a woman, a mother, to kill her baby. Yet all of us on this conference call have done just that.

How did we let this happen?

Here are a few questions we can ask ourselves to uncover the reason(s) behind our abortions. I’ve included my own answers.

Questions:

  1. What were the circumstances that lead to your abortion(s)?

Toni: I was in college living an ungodly life filled with drugs, alcohol, and sex. I was running away from my past pain. I just wanted to escape from my life, and this sinful lifestyle gave me some relief for a little while. So, when I found myself pregnant, I was fearful my child would be severely deformed from all the drugs and alcohol. I also feared my parent’s reaction.

  1. When you found out you were pregnant, who did you tell?

Toni: I told one of my housemates who also had an abortion; she said it was no big deal. She had just had one recently. I told one of my boyfriend’s sisters; she even told me where to make an appointment.

  1. Did you tell your parents? If yes, what was their reaction?

Toni: No, I was too fearful of their reaction, and I didn’t want to hurt them. I wish I would have had the courage to tell them. I made a mistake and I needed help, but I did not have the courage to do that.,

  1. Did you talk with the father of the baby? Did he have a say?

Toni: He just assumed I would have an abortion. He didn’t know what his role was. We really didn’t talk about it. The father of that baby is my husband and we will be celebrating our 40th anniversary this year.

  1. Does your abortion decision still bring you deep pain and regret?

Toni: I still mourn the loss of my son, Joseph. But by the grace of God, He has healed me from my past abortion. And I look forward to the day when I will see my son face-to-face. Thank you, God, for this gift.

 

The members of My Ashes to Beauty are here to walk alongside you and to help you. This ministry offers you hope and healing through a relationship with Jesus, the Word of God, the Holy Spirit, and a safe community to share your heart and your tears from your past abortion.

God wants His daughters healed and whole to live the abundant life He came to give them. Please reach out if you need additional help and healing. Email me at arwsg4u2@gmail.com.

You are loved,

Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace
by Toni Weisz/Abuse Recovery
Ephesians 4:29-32 and Numbers 6:24-26

Ephesians 4:29-32
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ forgave you.

In the Moody Handbook of Theology, Paul Enni defines God’s grace as the unmerited or undeserving favor of God to those who are under condemnation. I did not grow up in a home where grace was displayed. I experienced and witnessed harsh judgment for the smallest offenses. As a child, this caused me to be fearful and to hide because I did not want to face this treatment from my parents. I went to a church that was big and dark inside and they spoke in a foreign language. The school associated with this church was very much the same. Students were hit with rulers when they disobeyed. Because I did not see grace and love in these formative places, I began to believe that my faith in God was based upon my good works: if I am good, I will be loved and accepted, but if I disobey, I will be severely punished. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I didn’t run to God when I was 21, unmarried, and pregnant. I was fearful that He too would judge me harshly and punish me severely.

During my adult life, I once again encountered a harsh church environment. My family and I attended a legalistic church for several years where it was all about following the rules with no room for grace. The Holy Spirit in me was so grieved that I could barely feel or sense His presence. At first, I didn’t recognize it, but I was experiencing spiritual abuse. Even so, I wanted to serve Jesus. If that meant wearing dresses 24/7and obeying ridiculous rules, then that’s what I would do. This spiritual oppression greatly affected my soul and inside I started slowly dying. Unfortunately, my children (who were in high school at the time) were also subjected to this spiritual abuse. I was so grateful when we finally got away from that toxic environment.

Similarly, I have experienced harsh treatment from other ministry leaders as well. In those situations, I felt like I could never do anything right and was always under a microscope. Every little thing I did was magnified and made into a public example. I was so discouraged. Until one day, God brought in a leader who was kind and gentle. She gave me permission to just be me and fostered a safe environment in which I could open up and share about the emotional and spiritual abuse I was experiencing. I trusted her and she truly encouraged me. It was so refreshing to have a leader that was sweet and kind, just like Jesus.

In our ministry, we want each woman to feel safe and know that she can share her story without judgement. We encourage her to use her voice, perhaps for the first time in her life. We want her to see the love of Jesus in our words and our actions. God wants our words to speak hope and life into the lives of the women He brings to our ministry and that is what we will always try to do. God has given us His heart for these courageous women. We are honored to walk alongside them on their healing journeys. You too are welcome here, courageous woman. Come as you are; we are waiting for you.

Closing Thoughts
What is Grace?
Grace is a gift from God; it cannot be earned.

Grace is overlooking someone else’s faults and loving them where they are.

I am so grateful for God’s overwhelming love and grace in my life. This grace compels me to love others, to extend mercy, and to be kind to all people. This grace humbles me when I think about what Jesus did for me on the cross…a gift I can never repay.

Number 6:24-26
“The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.”

 

Reflection Questions:

  1. Do you judge yourself harshly?
  2. Do you judge others harshly?
  3. Have you received God’s grace?
  4. Are you able to extend grace to others?

You are loved,
Toni

 

 

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

The Importance of Community

The Importance of Community

The Importance of Community

Ephesians 4:4-6, 11-16, Romans 12:15 and Ephesians 3:17

There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.

And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.

I have noticed over the years, the women who stay connected and accountable in a safe community continue to grow spiritually, they feel safe, they feel deeply connected and they feel loved. These women have huge victories in their lives because they are dedicated to following the Lord and living in community. Each of us has been given a role in the body of Christ by God. We see in the scriptures above that Christ is the Head and each one of us is apart of the body, we are called to do a specific job in the body to keep the body functioning properly.

Why is community so important? You have all heard the saying, “There is safety in numbers.” That is true for your spiritual life also, not just your physical safety. When we stay connected in community, we are protected from the enemy’s fiery darts. His primary goal is to get Christian women isolated so he can lie and torment us. How many of you know what I am talking about? We have all experienced the loneliness and despair that overcomes us when we are isolated. Especially women with abuse and abortions in their past, we are an easy target for the enemy. But after we join a safe group and stay accountable, we are now protected.

It’s not just being apart of a group that protects you, it’s being an active member of the group, serving and participating consistently, not just being an observer. We must invest in the group by sharing our hearts, our tears and our prayer requests. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. (Romans 12:15) This is how the church is supposed to operate.

My hope and pray for each of us is that our faith will grow stronger. That our relationships with one another will grow deeper. That we will be mature strong confident believers in Jesus. That we will not be tossed to and fro with every wind of doctrine. That we would have a Biblical world view. That we are rooted and grounded in love and in the Truth. That everything that we do is pleasing to God and that our words will always speak life and encouragement to others. God has so much more for us to accomplish in the upcoming year, but we as a group must be ready and equipped for this season in the ministry. I pray you are encouraged to step up your game and make Jesus and sharing His love your priority in everything you do. I am honored to be serving with you in this ministry. It truly is a beautiful thing to watch God work in and through us.

What are some areas in your life that you are working on?

For me I am working on being forth coming with a certain member of my family regardless of the situation. Secrets give the enemy a strong hold.

I want to hear more specifically from the Lord by taking time to hear from Him and to journal regularly.

I have learned to pray about everything no matter how small.

What is God leading you to do?

I need to keep my focus on God at all times and not to project into the future.

How can we be praying for you?

That I will trust God completely with my children’s health issues.

 

You are loved,

Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!