Suffering, a Blessing or Curse?

Suffering, a Blessing or Curse?

Suffering, a Blessing or Curse?

by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Disciplines

Scriptures: John 16:33b, 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, Hebrews 4:16, Isaiah 43:19

In the world you will have tribulations (trials and suffering); but be of good cheer (take courage), I have overcome the world. (John 16:33b)

Blessed be God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation (affliction), that we may comfort those who are in any trouble (affliction), with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation (comfort and encouragement) also abounds (is abundant) through Christ. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)

Lord, I have been struggling for quite a few years while persevering in prayer for my children who have been suffering some of the worst trials anyone can endure: betrayal, divorce, relational problems, mental health issues, a debilitating undiagnosed illness, harsh judgement from others, loneliness, depression, and fear. I am crying out to You to help me understand and to help me encourage them. Help me to love them and listen to them to validate and affirm them. These trials have left my children feeling all alone in their struggles; friends and family have left them. They have been judged harshly by others who do not understand.

How do I encourage them when I too am struggling? Turn my perspective around, give me a Godly view of what You are doing so I can encourage them to look up to You, because You are our only hope. I know You are a good Father and You do not allow your children to suffer longer than is necessary. But it has been over 3 years and 24 doctors later with no diagnosis for my son. He struggles because there is no vindication, and he is being judged harshly by others. My daughter is fearful to trust a man again because of the betrayal she experienced. My granddaughter is suffering with rejection wounds and anger issues, who cannot understand why her dad and mom are divorced. She struggles to believe in You because she does not perceive You as a good Father.

I am humbling myself before You. I am running to Your throne and bowing down my will, my thoughts, my heartache, and pain, and I am giving them all to You. I am boldly coming to Your throne of grace to receive mercy and grace to help us in our time of need. Take all our pain, suffering, confusion, and exchange them with Your peace, Your love, Your joy, Your presence, and make us a beautiful living testimony of Your faithfulness to a world that is watching us and how we deal with these trials. Show them, Lord, how great a God You are. We want You to be magnified and glorified through our testimonies. Give us the strength and courage to stay strong, to suffer well, and to be humble and teachable. Increase our faith and trust in You so that we will not be shaken, nor will we waver, but instead, we will stand strong on Your Word and Your Truth that will endure forever.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. How have you been suffering lately?
  2. Has God revealed the purpose for your suffering?
  3. Has God used you to minister to others because of what you have endured?
  4. How can we come alongside and encourage you during this time?

We live in a fallen world, and suffering is a part of life, but prolonged suffering is hard, and we can feel all alone in our suffering. Please reach out if you need prayer or encouragement: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved dearly,

Toni

Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of suffering because it brings me closer to You. It humbles me and gets my attention so I am ready and willing to hear from You. Thank You that through my suffering I am conformed to the image of Jesus. I pray through my suffering I will have a greater capacity to love and have compassion for others who suffer. I know You never waste my suffering but You use it for my good and Your glory.

The Lord gave me this verse:
Isaiah 43:19
Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

 

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I Am So Grateful for God’s Love

I Am So Grateful for God’s Love

I Am So Grateful for God’s Love

by Toni Weisz/Abuse Recovery

Scriptures: Romans 5:5, 1 John 4:7, Ephesians 3:17-19, and Zephaniah 3:17

Romans 5:5
Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

1 John 4:7
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.

Ephesians 3:17-19
That Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and the depth and height- to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Zephaniah 3:17
The Lord your God, in your midst, the Mighty One will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, he will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.

 

I want to share my journal entry from November 30, 2024. The Holy Spirit speaking to my heart said, “I will never make you grovel or beg for help; My love is extravagant.”

“Yes, it is Lord, and I am so grateful for that.”

The Lord said,
“My love is perfect.
My love is gentle.
My love is kind.
My love is compassionate.
My love builds up.
My love blesses others.
My love encourages.
My love is eternal.”

So many of us have a distorted view of God’s love because of the treatment and/or abuse we have received especially from those closest to us; those who were supposed to love, nurture, and protect us. We attribute these characteristics to God, and therefore, we think He is angry, harsh, abusive, and unapproachable, but that could not be furthest from the truth.

I believe our distorted view of God’s love causes us to look for it in other places, from all the wrong people; because as children, we are not mature enough to understand how fundamental love is in our emotional, physical, and spiritual growth and development. It affects every aspect of our lives. We feel we are unworthy of love and that we are flawed and unlovable because of the way others have treated us in our past. The evil one wants us to believe that God does not love us.

So how do we replace our distorted view of God with the truth? First, we must be born-again; we must be a Christian, a child of God, because it’s the Holy Spirit of God Who helps us to know God and the truth from His Word. Second, we have to spend time with God in prayer and the reading of His Word. Just like any other relationship, it grows deeper with time spent together. Third, we must believe that God’s Word is truth and that He is love, and not our unkind or abusive family member. Fourth, we start meditating on His Word and the Holy Spirit helps us to start believing that truly we are precious in His sight and that we are His beloved children.

Once we receive God’s love into the innermost part of our being, we are changed forever. In my blog, “My Distorted View of God,” https://myashestobeauty.com/stinking-thinking-my-distorted-view-of-self-toni-weisz-abortion-recovery-and-abuse-support-group/, I talk about how the love of God changed me forever once I received His love in my heart. I no longer doubted; I truly believed I was loved by God. I was different; I no longer looked for another person to validate and affirm me because I was secure in God’s love for me. I did not have to perform or be perfect in order to be worthy enough to receive His love. I am loved simply because He created me and I am His child.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. Did you grow up feeling loved and secure in that love?
  2. Was it hard for you to believe that God loves you? If so, why?
  3. Have you received God’s love in your heart? If not, what is preventing you from believing you are loved by Him?
  4. How can we pray for you?

Dear One, I pray you too will receive God’s love in your heart. He loves you more than you can comprehend. He rejoices over you with gladness, He quiets you with His love, and He rejoices over you with singing (Ref. Zephaniah 3:17).

Please reach out if you need to talk. Feel free to email me: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

 

You are loved,
Toni

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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God’s Peace

God’s Peace

God’s Peace

by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Disciplines

Scripture References: Psalm 119:165, Galatians 5:22-23, John 16:33, Psalm 147:4, Isaiah 9:6, John 10:29, and Daniel 2:21

Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them. Psalm 119:165

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

These things have I spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. John 16:33

Everyone in this world desires peace. The politicians are promising peace, but they cannot deliver that.

Why do we yearn for peace in our souls? Because we are all created by God, who offers this peace to all His children. Peace is listed third in the list of the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23.

Jesus told us in John 16:33, “In the world you will have tribulation, trials, and suffering, but be assured and confident I have overcome the world.”

God created us for a relationship with Him, but we try to fill this void in our hearts with all kinds of things, but nothing satisfies. Only a relationship with Jesus can satisfy our longing soul for fellowship with our Creator God and Father.

Jesus is the answer to every problem we face in this world. He binds up our broken hearts and heals our wounds (ref. Psalm 147:3). He is the Great Physician.

In Isaiah 9:6, which is a foretelling of His birth, it states that Jesus will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

How can we describe God’s peace to someone who has never experienced it? It’s the knowledge that I am forgiven, and I don’t need to hide my sins and secrets anymore. I don’t have to wear a mask and pretend anymore that everything is great. I can be real. I am loved and accepted by God just the way I am because Jesus paid my sin debt on the cross. I am no longer separated from God. I can love and forgive others because of what God has done for me. I am free. That is what gives me peace. I don’t belong to the devil anymore; I was bought by the precious blood of Jesus. I belong to God now, and no one can pluck me out of the Father’s hand (ref. John 10:29).

Another kind of peace comes from trusting God, no matter what is going on in the world or in my personal life. During this very turbulent and sometimes toxic election cycle, I worked 9 days of early voting, and I will work on Election Day, which is a 14.5-hour day. I still have peace.

Do you know why I have peace? I recognize that God is in control. None of this is taking Him by surprise. Daniel 2:21 says “He changes the times and the seasons; He removes Kings and raises Kings; He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those how have understanding.”

God is the one ultimately who decides who runs this country. We still need to do our part. I vote. I put a “No on Amendment 4” signs on my lawn, and I have worked the polls for over a decade. I thank God for giving me this time to do it, the strength and endurance to wake up at 4:30 AM, and I pray daily.

The enemy is continually trying to rob you of your peace because he knows you belong to God. He cannot take your spirit to hell, but he can torment you.

Spend time alone with the Lord in a quiet place, and allow His Holy Spirit minister to you. He loves you so much, and He knows your struggles. He collects your tears in a bottle. He knows everything about you, and He still loves you more than you can comprehend. Ask Him to cover you with His peace and to protect you. Make a daily decision to walk in His peace regardless of what is going on around you.

Questions to take to heart:

1.) Are you experiencing God’s peace right now?
If yes, why do you feel peace?

If no, what is preventing you from experiencing His peace?

2.) How can we encourage you and pray for you today?

My prayer for you is that you will experience the peace and joy of the Lord in your heart, mind, and soul. Please reach out. We are here for you. Email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved,
Toni

 

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Abortion Destroys a Woman’s Soul, but God Offers Redemption

Abortion Destroys a Woman’s Soul, but God Offers Redemption

Abortion Destroys a Woman’s Soul, but God Offers Redemption

 

by Toni Weisz/Recovery Tools

Toni Weisz experienced a troubled childhood. She started drinking at age 12 and became sexually active at 16. She once thought she was pregnant, but it turned out to be a false alarm. But Weisz’s promiscuous lifestyle would soon catch up with her, causing her to abort her first child at the age of 21.

Weisz told Live Action News, “My ungodly behavior got me kicked out of college in New Jersey, so I eventually transferred to a university in Ohio, started dating a man and got pregnant. I had been living a double life — a quiet, compliant girl at home, but covertly, was a sexually immoral young woman who abused alcohol and started dropping acid at 17.” READ THE REST OF THIS STORY HERE: https://www.liveaction.org/news/toni-first-hand-abortion-destroys-soul-redemption/

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Why Do I struggle with Intimacy?

Why Do I struggle with Intimacy?

Why Do I struggle with Intimacy?

by Toni Weisz/Abuse Recovery

Scriptures: 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, 7:1-9 and Revelation 21:4

Excerpt taken from an AACC book, The Bible for Hope: Caring for People God’s Way (Pages 1500–1501 by Clifford L. Penner and Joyce J. Penner):
“Women function on two tracks, the emotional and the physical. These must be connected for a woman to be interested and open to intimacy. Women open up when they feel loved and connected with their husbands.”

The problem we have as post-abortion women and women who have experienced abuse is we are not deeply connected. Intimacy does not come easy for us. We have built a wall around ourselves to keep us safe and protected. But those walls become our prison cell, and we are locked behind it, feeling all alone and isolated. We cannot give or receive love in this place.

We need someone to come and rescue us. We need our Savior, Jesus, to come and slowly take the bricks away that are around our heart so we can slowly walk out of this prison into more intentional and intimate relationships with people. It can be scary at first, but Jesus is leading us with His righteous right hand. We are safe with Him.

How do we finally break free and trust again? It is a very slow process that can take many, many years. I am struggling right now to be more intimate with my husband and to relax and enjoy it, instead of just rushing through it, because I have had this wall up around my heart for so long. In the past, he was not a person I trusted to not hurt me. But I have been seeing some improvement, and he did take good care of me after my surgery. So, I am feeling like it is time to reevaluate that boundary. I have shared this with my accountability partner, and we are both praying with me about this. I want to honor God in my marriage.

I am also plagued with bad memories and ungodly thoughts of past things I have seen with my eyes. They just come out of nowhere, but I know who the author of it is; the enemy hates marriage, and he would rather I not be the godly, loving wife God created me to be. I am intentionally going back to those unpleasant memories with Jesus holding my hand, and we will revisit those times and situations because I want God’s perspective, His wisdom and guidance, not mine. I want to be healed in those areas. I want to feel love and to be able to show love also. It’s been bottled up for so many years; I feel like a robot. I want that to change. If you would pray for me in this area, thank you.

This morning, I started a new journal, and I went back to my first memory with my husband and how our relationship started and how I felt. I asked the Lord to remove any blindness so I can see clearly what my part was in the formation of this relationship. I wrote four full pages this morning, and then I heard the song, Scars in Heaven, and God even showed me a rainbow this morning. He whispered to my heart, “It will be okay, Little Bird; you will be healed in this area. I am with you; you are not alone.”

One day, dear one, all your wounds will be healed. We can experience healing here, but when we get to Glory, there will be no more pain, sorrow, or crying. Jesus will wipe all our tears away. We will finally be whole. Thank you, Jesus.

Scars in Heaven by Casting Crowns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCdevloDE6E

 

Questions to take to heart:
1. Have you struggled with intimacy with your husband? How did you work through that?

2. If you are dating, do you feel comfortable sharing your heart with him? Yes or No? Please explain.

3. Have you had a difficult time having healthy relationships with men in your past? If yes, can you give an example?

4. How can we pray for you?

Thank you for reading this blog. It was not an easy one for me, but I felt like I needed to share my struggles with you so you feel safe sharing yours. You are safe here, dear one.

Please reach out if you need to talk or pray this week. You can email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved,
Toni

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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