Forgiveness—God’s Way

Forgiveness—God’s Way

Forgiveness—God’s Way

By Luci Boudreaux/Spiritual Insights
Scriptures: Matthew 5:44 and Mark 11:25

Matthew 5:44 “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,”

Mark 11:25 “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

 

In my youth, I learned all about the impact of unforgiveness before I ever understood the incredible power and freedom of God’s plan; and that is forgiveness! That is what we will be talking about today.

I have a brother who is two years older and was incredibly mean to me from a very early age. I was an easy target since there was very little supervision in our home. He tormented, made fun of, beat up on and laughed at me regularly. As we grew older, he became more abusive in his behavior. And by age 11, he and another brother began to sexually molest me. I didn’t dare tell anyone because my greatest fear was that no one would believe me, and if they did, I would be blamed somehow. At 12, I was raped by a stranger in the neighborhood and was robbed of my virginity and whatever childhood innocence I had left. I escaped my abusive home environment at the age of 15. And I took my anger, confusion and bitterness with me into every relationship. Unfortunately, I experienced more violations and abuse from strangers out in the world.

The relationships that I did have were very toxic. I was promiscuous and emotionally unavailable. And when I look back on that season of my life, I also chose men who were unhealthy as well. At 24, I became pregnant by a man whose name I can’t remember, as we had just met that one day and I never saw him again. Unfortunately, I chose to abort my baby. And that was a devastating decision that broke me!

But, praise be to God that, approximately nine months later, the Lord revealed His Spirit, His truth, and I was born again! But there were layers of lies and wounds to process and release to the Lord. So, in my childlike obedience, I did the only thing I knew to do. I surrendered all these hurts and atrocities to Jesus, my Savior. I assumed that once I forgave as the Bible teaches, it was behind me. But I was wrong! The emotions of unforgiveness continued to rise up in my heart, as certain situations triggered them.

So I had a decision to make; I could try and bury the memories of the wrongs done to me and forget about them. But the problem with this is, it continues to surface along with the root of bitterness that continues growing inside.

As a follower of Christ, I worked on past wounds that were causing pain, and in that process, I specifically forgave my brother and have been praying for him for decades. But I recently found out that he has cancer and will need surgery. You would think that at once, I would pray for him, but what happened really surprised me! my immediate response was, “I don’t want to pray for him; he’s awful.”

When the thought came to me, I was convicted. So I took it to the Lord, and He began to help me sort through the unforgiveness, again. I realized there was still a remnant of unforgiveness in my heart against him. I had to deal with it!

I am learning that forgiveness is not only a one-time obedient act for the Lord, but it is also an ongoing process that needs to be revisited when it creeps into our hearts.

What I hadn’t been considering was that he came from the same dysfunctional home as me. My father was very harsh and cruel to him and my other brothers. Although he’s never expressed it, I believe he is burdened from past abuse. And from working through this for myself and for so many others, I’ve come to understand that those who have been abused are prone to hurt others in similar ways.

 

Questions to take to heart:

Are you holding onto unforgiveness toward anyone?

How are you working through the process of forgiveness?

Are you finding it hard to forgive some over others?

 

Pastor Bill Elliff shares his perspective:

“Forgiveness is my responsibility as a choice of my will, made possible

by God’s grace, to release a debt, by faith, for the glory of God.”

 

Let’s look at the breakdown of the above statement:

“My responsibility”:
Regardless of what others have done, I am responsible for the sin of my unforgiveness.

“As a choice of my will, made possible by God’s grace”: It is not an act of my emotions but a choice I can always make because of the sufficiency of Gods empowering grace.

“To release a debt”:
The reason I am holding this in the ledger book of my heart is to make others pay (in multiple ways). Forgiveness transfers this issue from my courtroom to God’s, believing that He is fully capable of taking care of others.

“For the glory of God”:
There is nothing that illustrates God more clearly and shows others the remarkable power of God to help us through the deepest hurts of life than forgiveness.

 

You are loved,
Luci

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Our Perception of God and Why It Matters

Our Perception of God and Why It Matters

Colossians 3:2
Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.

Romans 12:1-2
Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

I can’t remember where I got this quote from but it makes a lot of sense. “Science tells us that repetitive thoughts over time become physical ruts in the brain that effect reasoning, choices, and eventually our beliefs.”

What was your perception of God as a child?

Was He kind, loving, and approachable or cold, distant, and angry?
My perception of God as a child was that He was unapproachable angry and would punish me for the slightest offense, He was not a God of love but of wrath. I grew up in a church that I saw punishment for the slightest offense with rulers and scolding. The people there were very harsh and critical. And that God was all about following rules. I did not see the love of God there.
You can read my Blog under stinking thinking: https://myashestobeauty.com/stinking-thinking-my-distorted-view-of-god/

How did that affect you growing up?
Because of my distorted view of God, when I found myself in bad situations, I decided to take matters into my own hands instead of asking God what I should do. I didn’t think He cared about me. I was in such darkness I could not see His light at all. Because of the unhealthy relationships I had with others closest to me which were quite manipulative and controlling, I didn’t think I was worth very much to God or others. So, what does it matter what I do to my body, my baby, or others? But God was showing up ever now and then when I felt like He was there and He was interested in my life. But I would not come to know Him as my Lord and Savior until I was 34 years old.

Ephesians 3:16-19
That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith, that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the width and length and depth and height – to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

How do you see God now?
I now have finally received the beautiful redeeming work of Christ in my life once I was able to receive His love into the inner most part of my being, that truth changed me forever. Even after I was saved, I allowed people to abuse me and use me because I had no boundaries, and because I didn’t love myself, others didn’t treat me with love and respect either. But once His love permeated my heart, I had courage to put up boundaries and I started taking care of myself and loving myself. It was the most freeing and beautiful thing I have experienced, to know the love of God for myself. To feel and know in my heart, that no matter what I have done in the past He loves me.

How does He see you?
I am grateful for the truth from God’s word that every person is created in His image and is given intrinsic value and is created with a purpose for His kingdom. I am no longer bound to Satan and sin instead I am adopted into the family of God; I am a daughter of the King of Glory. He loved me so much He died for me on the cross. His love is so deep, and wide, and high that I cannot comprehend it, but I believe in my heart I am cherished and loved by God. And I will be with Him forever in heaven for all eternity. In July of 2017 we were having my extended family in town, my sister and brother and their families. As a result, I started feeling anxious and started feeling rejected by all of them, because you see they do not know the Lord yet, so I am not apart of their family anymore. Rejection was a huge wound for me and I can go there very quickly if I am not grounded in the Word. To Combat my rejection wound God had me write out specific Biblical truths about, “Who I am in Christ,” it goes like this:

Who I am in Christ

I am worthy
I am loved
I belong
I am accepted
I am adopted
I am confident and competent
I am a child of God
I have the Holy Spirit within me
I am victorious in Christ
I have a home in heaven
Nothing can separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus my Lord
I will fear no evil

I am so proud of you for having the courage to step out and trust God to heal you.

You are safe her beloved sister.

You are loved,
Toni

Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (NKJV)

Toni and the Team at myashestobeauty.com

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.