The Memorial Stones: Remembering What God Has Done

The Memorial Stones: Remembering What God Has Done

The Memorial Stones: Remembering What God Has Done

By Toni Weisz/Abuse Recovery

Scriptures: Joshua 4:4-7, Revelation 12:11, 1 Corinthians 15:3-6, Acts

1:9, Romans 8:34, and 2 Corinthians 5:17

 

Joshua 4:4-7
Then Joshua called the twelve men whom he had appointed from the children of Israel, one man from every tribe; and Joshua said to them: “Cross over before the ark of the Lord your God into the midst of the Jordan, and each one of you take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the children of Israel, that this may be a sign among you when your children ask in time to come, saying, ‘What do these stones mean to you?’ Then you shall answer them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord; when it crossed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. And these stones shall be for a memorial to the children of Israel forever.”

We see several times in Scripture that God commanded the children of Israel to set up a memorial of remembrance for what He had done for them. These memorials were to be shared with future generations so they could see what great things God had done for them. I believe it is important for us to look back as well to see where we’ve come from and remember what the Lord has done for us.

Think back to a time before you knew the Lord, when you were walking in the ways of this world and living your life for yourself and your own selfish desires.

What did your life look like before Christ? Tell others the wondrous and amazing things that God has done for you. There is power in your testimony.

Revelation 12:11a, “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the power of their testimony.”

There is power in you sharing your testimony. No one can dispute what the Lord has done for you.

My Testimony:

When I was 12 years old, I decided the “good quiet” persona was not working for me. I was not getting the attention that I longed for. So, I decided to take another path, one that would lead to self-loathing, addiction, destruction, and death. I was blinded and unaware of the evil that I would do to myself and to others. My unhealthy destructive choices would only intensify with age and become more and more grievous as I plunged headlong into drug and alcohol usage, promiscuity, smoking, and ultimately an abortion. I just wanted to be loved, but instead I was used by others, and I used them to fill this void in my heart. I would continue on this self-destructive path until I was 34 years old.

Then one day in January 1994 in a small Baptist church, I heard the gospel for the first time: Jesus was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, was crucified on the cross for my sins and the sins of the whole world, was buried and rose again on the third day and ascended into heaven and is now seated at the right hand of the Father. It was His love for me and you that kept Him nailed to that cross. (Ref. 1 Corinthians 15:3-6, Acts 1:9, Romans 8:34)

I don’t deserve His love, but it is the sweetest gift I have ever been given. I have been forgiven from my sin debt and set free to live the life He created me to live. I am so humbled and grateful to Jesus for His work and for my relationship with Him. I am a new creation in Christ; old things are passed away, behold, the new has come. (Ref. 2 Corinthians 5:17) I have a new life, a new purpose, and a new song in my heart thanks to Jesus.

I pray this topic has encouraged you to share your testimony. Please reach out if you need to talk, toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved,

Toni

P.S. If you have never written out your testimony, I suggest you do. It’s an incredible exercise. and it will fill your heart with joy, hope, and thanksgiving to God for all He has done for you.

 

 

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Mental Wellness and Relationship with Jesus the Healer

Mental Wellness and Relationship with Jesus the Healer

Mental Wellness and a Relationship with Jesus the Healer

By Toni Weisz/Spiritual Disciplines

Scriptures: Matthew 11:28 (NIV)
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

In the journey of mental wellness, many people are searching for more than coping strategies—they are searching for true, lasting peace. For those navigating the emotional aftermath of trauma, including abortion or abuse, healing often requires both practical support and spiritual restoration. A relationship with Jesus as Healer offers a powerful source of comfort, renewal, and stability for the mind.

Understanding Mental Wellness After Trauma

Mental wellness after trauma involves caring for your thoughts, emotions, and overall psychological health. Trauma can leave lasting imprints—such as anxiety, intrusive thoughts, depression, or feelings of guilt and shame. These mental patterns can feel overwhelming, especially when they persist over time.

Mental wellness is not about ignoring these struggles. It’s about learning how to respond to them in healthy ways—developing awareness, building resilience, and creating new thought patterns that support healing. This is where both intentional habits and spiritual connection become essential.

Jesus the Healer and the Mind

A relationship with Jesus is not only spiritual—it deeply impacts mental and emotional health. Throughout Scripture, Jesus is shown as a healer of the whole person—body, mind, and heart. He meets people in their brokenness and brings restoration, not condemnation.

When the mind is burdened with anxiety, guilt, or pain, turning to Jesus can bring a sense of peace that goes beyond circumstances. His presence offers rest for overwhelmed thoughts and comfort in moments of emotional distress. For many, this relationship becomes an anchor during seasons of mental instability.

Renewing the Mind Through Faith

One of the most powerful aspects of mental wellness and faith is the concept of renewing the mind. Trauma often plants negative beliefs—about self-worth, safety, or identity. These beliefs can become deeply ingrained.

Through a relationship with Jesus, those thoughts can begin to shift. Replacing lies with truth—such as moving from “I am broken” to “I am being restored”—is a key part of healing. This process takes time, but it creates lasting mental and emotional change.

Spending time in prayer, reading Scripture, or sitting in quiet reflection allows truth to take root and reshape how you think and feel.

Practical Ways to Strengthen Mental Wellness

While faith is foundational, daily practices also play an important role in supporting mental health. Combining both creates a balanced approach to healing:

  • Prayer and Quiet Time: Helps calm anxious thoughts and create mental clarity
  • Journaling: Allows you to process emotions and track your healing journey
  • Community Support: Encourages connection and reduces isolation
  • Healthy Boundaries: Protects your mental and emotional space

These habits, paired with faith, help build consistency and strength in your mental wellness journey.

Healing from Guilt, Shame, and Emotional Pain

For those walking through post-abortion and/or abuse recovery, mental struggles often center around guilt, shame, or self-blame. These emotions can be deeply rooted and difficult to release.

This is where Jesus as Healer becomes especially significant. His message is one of forgiveness, grace, and new beginnings. Bringing your pain honestly before Him—without hiding—creates space for healing to begin. Instead of carrying the weight alone, you are invited to release it and receive peace.

Moving Forward with Hope and Healing

Mental wellness and a relationship with Jesus work together to create a path toward wholeness. Healing is always not instant, and it’s not always easy—but it is possible. Each day is an opportunity to take a step forward, to think a little differently, and to experience a little more peace.

If you are on this journey, know that you don’t have to navigate it alone. Jesus meets you where you are—in the middle of the struggle—and walks with you toward healing. With time, intentional care, and faith, your mind can find rest, your heart can find peace, and your life can move forward with renewed hope.

Being in a space where others understand—where you don’t have to explain or hide—can make a meaningful difference. Post-abortion and abuse recovery support groups, like those at My Ashes to Beauty, are created to offer that kind of safe, compassionate environment. We invite you to join us on a conference call, a safe place where you can speak honestly about your abortion or abuse, in an understanding and loving environment.

Please reach out if you would like to talk this week: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Here for you,

Toni

 

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What Is a Demonic Stronghold?

What Is a Demonic Stronghold?

What Is a Demonic Stronghold?

by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Warfare

Scriptures: Psalm 18:2-3, 1 Peter 5:8, John 8:32b-c, and Psalm 91:1-4

Psalm 18:2-3
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, so shall I be saved from my enemies.

Definition of Stronghold: A fortified place or a fortress. An area dominated or occupied by a group or marked by a quality. Taken from The American Heritage College Dictionary.

As I read Psalm 18, it says that God is my stronghold.

We have a choice who we will allow to be our stronghold: God or the evil one.

There are things we do that make us vulnerable to the enemy, which create an opening where he gains a foothold, if not challenged or acknowledged will then become a stronghold.

I have heard a stronghold also referred to as having, “a hook in our soul.” The hook represents a spiritual entry by the evil one, either through unconfessed sin, trauma, abuse, and/or drug and alcohol usage. Once he has access, he lays a snare for us and torments us with lies and deceptions.

Due to the chaos in my home of origin, I learned to hide in my secrets to protect myself. It was my safe place. I could control people’s reactions and protect myself so I thought. I didn’t grow up knowing how to use my voice properly, and I had no boundaries, so you can imagine why hiding in my secrets was my safe place.

For me, my secrets were the area the enemy had a stronghold, a hook in my soul. I started hiding in my secrets at the age of 12 when I started sneaking Scotch Whiskey from my parents’ liquor cabinet. But it didn’t stop there; this sin opened up a door to all kinds of ungodly behavior while outwardly I still appeared to be the “good quiet one” in the family. I strived for perfection in all I did to receive recognition from others. So, hiding in my secrets was important to keep up this façade.

I was living a double life. I had a distorted view of reality because of the torment from the evil one. I hid in my secrets for over three decades. I had a huge hook in me because of my fear of rejection and abandonment. I was afraid if I shared some things people would reject and abandon me or would be harsh and cruel. The fear of that rejection and abandonment caused me to terminate the life of my son.

When I was saved by the grace of God at the age of 34, I still feared the reactions and comments of others, so I told half-truths, but I was still holding back some information. If I am not careful, I can easily go there (withholding information) so as not to hear someone’s cruel and harsh comments. In a way, I felt it was self-preservation. God calls it something else: sin. I should not fear man, but rather fear God.

When I hold back information, I am trying to control the outcome and that is codependency. Instead of trusting God with the results, I am manipulating the situation. I don’t like how this feels. I am uncomfortable, and I feel like I am walking on eggshells. This causes anxiety in me as I imagine how the conversation will go. And I am not doing anything wrong or ungodly, but the evil one has me hiding to get me in this vulnerable place. He is a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour (Ref. 1 Peter 5:8). He and his minions are continually observing me and watching for my reactions to things. Then he knows he’s got me in his trap.

The best way to combat this is head on. I pray and ask God to go before me to prepare that individual’s heart, and then I ask Him to give me the words to say. For the most part, it goes well, but sometimes it doesn’t. But I am relieved when it is over and I am no longer being tormented about it.

We need discernment when speaking with certain individuals, especially if they are unsafe emotionally. There is a fine line between discernment and waiting for the right time, and withholding information out of fear. The longer I hold onto something, the harder it becomes to share and the bigger it grows and consumes my thoughts; that’s where the hook comes in. Then, of course, the enemy torments me with all kinds of scenarios and possible outcomes. I am robbed of my peace and joy because of my fears.

By confessing my sin to God, He removes the hook. When I seek Him daily, I am protected from the enemy’s attacks. Each morning, I put on my spiritual armor. Confessing sin is part of my daily devotional time with the Lord. I do not want the evil one to gain a foothold, which can turn into a stronghold. Being in the Word of God daily and memorizing Scripture is the best way to protect myself from the evil one. I ask God to remove any blindness so I can see clearly my character defects, my sins, and shortcomings. I ask Him to bring them into the light so I can confess and repent so I can be forgiven and healed.

Jesus said in John 8: 32, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” God’s Holy Word is Truth. He is our refuge and our fortress, our stronghold. He is our hiding place, and He is our protector. The Sword of the Spirit is the Word of God. With it, we are able to slash the lies of the enemy in two (Ref. Ephesians 6: b-c). He covers us with His wings so we are protected by the fiery darts of the enemy. We are safe when we stand on the truth and under His mighty wings.

I want the Lord to be my stronghold because I know He will not abuse me; He is gentle, kind, caring, and compassionate. Lord give me the courage to speak up when I need to and not to delay. Help me to trust You more in this area.

Questions to take to heart:

1.) What is an area in your life you need to watch carefully because Satan had a huge hook in you?

Secrets is the area I need to watch carefully. I need to use my voice and share things right away before the enemy has a chance to torment me about things. I need to be more intentional and proactive in this area.

2.) How did God remove that hook?

In February 2010, I was in a very dark place and asked God to take me home because I couldn’t deal with the pain in my life anymore. He asked me if I trusted Him, and I said yes. He then opened a door and I was introduced to a local ministry that dealt with childhood wounds from dysfunctional families. I was a part of an intense inner healing and a high–accountability group for five I worked on adult-child recovery work and journaled every day for five years. I heard from God like never before. I began to trust God more and more. He showed me that having secrets is lying and that lying is a sin. He told me to stop running and hiding, which in essence I was doing by not telling the whole truth. He wants me to be bold and courageous.

3.) How can we pray for you?

Please pray that I will fear God more than man and I will speak up quickly. Pray God gives me the courage to speak the truth and to trust Him.

I pray this topic has been helpful for you. If you need to talk, please reach out to me: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

 

You are loved,
Toni

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I Am So Grateful for God’s Love

I Am So Grateful for God’s Love

I Am So Grateful for God’s Love

by Toni Weisz/Abuse Recovery

Scriptures: Romans 5:5, 1 John 4:7, Ephesians 3:17-19, and Zephaniah 3:17

Romans 5:5
Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

1 John 4:7
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.

Ephesians 3:17-19
That Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and the depth and height- to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Zephaniah 3:17
The Lord your God, in your midst, the Mighty One will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, he will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.

 

I want to share my journal entry from November 30, 2024. The Holy Spirit speaking to my heart said, “I will never make you grovel or beg for help; My love is extravagant.”

“Yes, it is Lord, and I am so grateful for that.”

The Lord said,
“My love is perfect.
My love is gentle.
My love is kind.
My love is compassionate.
My love builds up.
My love blesses others.
My love encourages.
My love is eternal.”

So many of us have a distorted view of God’s love because of the treatment and/or abuse we have received especially from those closest to us; those who were supposed to love, nurture, and protect us. We attribute these characteristics to God, and therefore, we think He is angry, harsh, abusive, and unapproachable, but that could not be furthest from the truth.

I believe our distorted view of God’s love causes us to look for it in other places, from all the wrong people; because as children, we are not mature enough to understand how fundamental love is in our emotional, physical, and spiritual growth and development. It affects every aspect of our lives. We feel we are unworthy of love and that we are flawed and unlovable because of the way others have treated us in our past. The evil one wants us to believe that God does not love us.

So how do we replace our distorted view of God with the truth? First, we must be born-again; we must be a Christian, a child of God, because it’s the Holy Spirit of God Who helps us to know God and the truth from His Word. Second, we have to spend time with God in prayer and the reading of His Word. Just like any other relationship, it grows deeper with time spent together. Third, we must believe that God’s Word is truth and that He is love, and not our unkind or abusive family member. Fourth, we start meditating on His Word and the Holy Spirit helps us to start believing that truly we are precious in His sight and that we are His beloved children.

Once we receive God’s love into the innermost part of our being, we are changed forever. In my blog, “My Distorted View of God,” https://myashestobeauty.com/stinking-thinking-my-distorted-view-of-self-toni-weisz-abortion-recovery-and-abuse-support-group/, I talk about how the love of God changed me forever once I received His love in my heart. I no longer doubted; I truly believed I was loved by God. I was different; I no longer looked for another person to validate and affirm me because I was secure in God’s love for me. I did not have to perform or be perfect in order to be worthy enough to receive His love. I am loved simply because He created me and I am His child.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. Did you grow up feeling loved and secure in that love?
  2. Was it hard for you to believe that God loves you? If so, why?
  3. Have you received God’s love in your heart? If not, what is preventing you from believing you are loved by Him?
  4. How can we pray for you?

Dear One, I pray you too will receive God’s love in your heart. He loves you more than you can comprehend. He rejoices over you with gladness, He quiets you with His love, and He rejoices over you with singing (Ref. Zephaniah 3:17).

Please reach out if you need to talk. Feel free to email me: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

 

You are loved,
Toni

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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My Loving Father

My Loving Father

My Loving Father

By Luci Boudreaux/Spiritual Insights

 

Scripture Verses: Ephesians 1:3-4 and 1 John 3:1a

Ephesians 1:3-4 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him in love.”

1 John 3:1a “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.”

 

Many of you precious ones have been abused by your fathers or male figures in your life. So, it may difficult for you to see God as your loving Father. Or you may think God is not being gracious or kind when He allows trials or suffering. But He knows just what we need that will cause us to turn to Him and experience the richness of an intimate relationship. Sometimes, these trials are just what make us stronger and become more aware of His presence.

As a very young girl, I saw my father as the hard-working provider and accepted that he was too busy to spend time with me. I wanted to be with him, but there were very few opportunities, and when there were, he wasn’t emotionally available. As I grew into my teens, things became very contentious between us. He often accused me of being promiscuous even though I hadn’t been, yet.

As I look back, I see that he was intimidated by my becoming a woman. He didn’t want me talking to boys or exploring the concept of maturing. He labeled me as a tramp, which hurt me deeply. He expressed lots of anger and frustration. I had no idea how to cope with his misguided anger. So, I retreated from him as much as possible.

I began to seek out love and affection from other boys and men, which led me into a destructive life of promiscuity and substance abuse. This behavior came out of a deep sense of rejection and abandonment from my father.

The two examples that I had of what God is like were my father and the catholic church. They both fell short as they were hyperfocused on obedience and judgment. I hated the concept of God as a Father. But by His tender mercy, I came to know Jesus and accepted Him as Lord and Savior at the age of 25.

It took me a couple of years of prayer, reading the Bible, and seeing examples of godly men in the church to understand that God, my loving Father, is nothing like the earthly father I knew. And my relationship with Him became such a refuge of grace, forgiveness, and a constant loving presence! I came to know my Heavenly Father in a very personal way. I learned that I could go to Him in complete trust; I am safe with Him.

The relationship I have with my Heavenly Father is full of acceptance, joy, long-suffering, and intimacy! And I learned this by opening up to Jesus and learning about Him through the Scriptures.

When we see Jesus, we see the Father. I love the way Hebrews 1:3a says it: “He (Jesus) is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature.”

How blessed we are that God reveals Himself to us!

Questions to Consider

  • What was your relationship with your earthly father?
  • Has it hindered you in any way from opening up to your Heavenly Father?
  • How were you able to overcome that obstacle and embrace your Heavenly Father’s love? Was it through Scripture, a godly man, or a combination of several things?

The Lord is merciful and patient, waiting for us to come to Him with all our cares and questions. I pray you will find hope and peace in His presence as you seek Him. You can reach me at: overcomer982@icloud.com.

 

Your friend,

Luci

 

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