Rachel Weeping for Her Children

Rachel Weeping for Her Children

Rachel Weeping for Her Children

by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Disciplines
Scriptures: Matthew 2:13,16,18

In Matthew 2:13
Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, “Arise, take the young Child and His mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I bring you word; for Herod will seek the young Child to destroy Him.”

Matthew 2:16
Then Herod, when he saw that he was deceived by the wise men, was exceedingly angry; and he sent forth and put to death all the male children who were in Bethlehem and in all its districts, from two years old and under, according to the time which he had determined from the wise men.

Can you imagine what Joseph and Mary were thinking at this point? They knew they had to flee because Herod wanted to destroy the child, Jesus, but they probably never imagined the evil that would befall their family and friends in Bethlehem. When the wise men did not return to tell Herod Jesus’ whereabouts, his anger was kindled against them and he made a decree to murder all the male children under the age of two. What a horror; I cry when I think of the depths of this evil. Joseph and Mary probably heard about what happened in Bethlehem. They were deeply grieved of the loss of these precious children but relieved that Jesus was spared.

We read in Matthew 2:18:
“A voice was heard in Ramah,
Lamentation, weeping, and great mourning,
Rachel weeping for her children,
Refusing to be comforted,
Because they are no more.”

I have wept for all the babies that have died from abortions. I have also wept over the broken hearts of the mothers and fathers. I have heard so many abortion stories over the past 18 years that I have lost count. Still, each time I hear one, my heart breaks for these precious women sharing their pain with me. I have felt like Rachel, weeping and not being able to be comforted.

But what could I do, Lord?

I knew I couldn’t stand by, especially after the first NY law passed. Watching lawmakers and pro-choice supporters giving each other high fives at the passing of this law was unfathomable. They just gave people permission to murder a completely developed baby, capable of living outside the womb. This is a vulnerable human being. What are we doing? Do we think God is going to continue to bless this country? I think not. So, I stepped up my game and started actively doing STS Bible studies with other women. If God can heal a woman’s broken heart, perhaps next time when she finds herself in this situation, she will choose life. I want to break this cycle of death and change it to one of life.

After seeing the movie, “Unplanned”, I was standing at my sink and God spoke to me through His Holy Spirit. He said, “Every child in the womb is mine.” I cried and said, “Yes, Lord, I know. Please forgive me for robbing you of the life you gave me. I am so sorry.”

Just this morning on October 16, 2024, in a vision, I saw a drawing in dark coal pencils of full-term babies lying on the ground dead and a woman standing with her head down, wearing a long dark dress and a dark bonnet, surrounded by multitudes of babies too numerous to count. The sky was gray and the ground was also. It was very bleak and dark. In the distance were the silhouettes of women standing in a semicircle looking at the devastation from a distance. I only saw the picture for a few seconds, but it had a profound impact on me.

Lord, what about all these babies born alive after a botched abortion, especially if Amendment 4 is passed? Is no one going to comfort them, hold them, feed them; are they just being left alone to die? I am weeping bitterly right now while writing this. Oh Lord, I cannot comprehend the sound and the sight of these precious babies dying. Oh Lord, please forgive us for doing this evil thing, discarding our children like a piece of trash. The Lord whispered to my heart, “I will come and take them with me to Heaven.” Thank you, Jesus, that gives me great comfort.

While I was on my knees crying out to God, His sweet Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, “Little Bird, you will be surrounded by these children in Heaven. Everyone will have work to do, and this will be yours. You will meet, hug, tenderly speak to and love on all these children. Because of your tears shed for them just like Rachel, this will be your work in Heaven.”

My Prayer:

Lord, I pray for each woman who is on this conference call or reading this blog and for all the lives that have been lost to abortion. I pray that we will be bold and courageous to defend the unborn and to protect women from experiencing this tragedy. Abortion is anti-woman; it is anti-family, and it is anti-God. Open the eyes of the blind so they can see that abortion is not contraception or women’s healthcare. It is the termination of a life, the termination of a gift from God, and is detrimental to the very soul of a woman. Father, we pray in the mighty name of Jesus that Your Holy Spirit will bring women out of the darkness into Your Light. Show them how much You love them; we pray Your love will penetrate the deepest part of their being. Father, we are confessing our sins, and we are asking you to forgive us and to heal our land. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

I know today’s topic is very hard and heavy. I think it’s important that we allow ourselves to go there to actually feel the pain and sorrow associated with abortion, not only our own but also of others. We need to inform women that abortion is not a quick fix. We need to be bold and courageous and to share our testimonies.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. How did today’s topic affect you?
  2. Do you feel it’s time for you to take the next step in your healing?
    3. For those who have experienced significant healing, what are you doing to get involved in protecting women and babies from abortion?
  3. How can we pray for you?

If God has tugged on your heart to get involved, there are numerous ministries and courses you can take to better equip you for the work of the ministry. Go to: www.myashestobeauty.com/resources.

Please reach out if you need to talk: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are deeply loved,
Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
The Tool of Detachment

The Tool of Detachment

John 10:10a, 1st Corinthians 14:33b, Proverbs 6:19b, James 1:19

The tool of detachment gives me the ability to love someone without getting caught up in their dysfunction. Satan is the author of confusion, chaos, and discord among the brethren and our families. He has made this his primary mission: to steal, kill, and destroy our testimonies, our relationships, our peace, our joy, and to make our lives miserable. We must guard our hearts from responding to others in ways that are hurtful and mean spirited, instead speaking the truth in love. Use your voice in a way that is pleasing to God and to the hearer. Recognize that everyone has wounds from their past and the way in which people respond to certain situations has a lot to do with where they are in their healing process. It’s important to remember, “Hurting people hurt people.” They are blinded by their wounds and cannot see how they are hurting others.

It is extremely important to have healthy boundaries. I grew up with no boundaries at all. I had to educate myself about boundaries and learn how to communicate them with others. Eventually, I started speaking up for myself and sharing how I was feeling. Over time, it became second nature for me to use my voice and to protect myself from unhealthy people or situations. Starting something new is always the hardest part, but it becomes easier with time.

If you have not read the book, “Boundaries,” by Cloud and Townsend, I suggest you do. This book is a very helpful resource. In my journey with the tool of detachment, I also had to recognize that I cannot fix, rescue, or save anyone. I had to realize that I cannot control another person, nor can I change them, but rather, God can. I had to surrender to God and relinquish all control to Him. As soon as I did, I began to feel more peaceful, calmer and less anxious about things.

When I trust God and humble myself before Him, I am released from being tormented by the evil one. A humble, teachable spirit is a very powerful weapon against the enemy, and God draws near to the humble. There are times I need to leave a room and walk away from a conversation because I feel I may say something I will regret. Once I say something that is hurtful, I can never take it back. Removing myself from a volatile situation is sometimes my only option. By doing this, I have a chance to cool down, think, and pray before I respond to this person or situation. I can now respond, instead of just reacting without thinking. God wants me to think and pray before I speak, knowing that my words can be used to lift others up or they can cause others to stumble.

Detachment gives me wisdom and discernment when dealing with a situation or an individual who is in a volatile state. I don’t have to fear or be anxious, and I don’t have to take the situation on as my own. Instead, I can recognize that the occurrence has nothing to do with me. I can respond in a calm and godly manner, and I can speak the truth in love. I can walk away and return when I am calmer and more composed. Seeking God during this process helps me to remain in peace and in control of my emotions; that’s all I am responsible for, and I leave the rest in God’s hands.

In His love and service,

—Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
What Is Sin?

What Is Sin?

Sin is living in rebellion against God’s laws.  Sin was passed down to us from our first parents, Adam and Eve.  Since the fall, the whole earth and every inhabitant has been affected by sin.  In essence, sin is a choice to go our own way apart from God’s perfect plans. Sin is self-seeking, prideful, and destructive:

“Sin will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay. –”  R Zaccharias 

Genesis 3: 1-5 Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”  2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; 3 but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ”  4 Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

1 Corinthians 15:22 For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive.

Ezekiel 18:20 The soul who sins shall die.

We see from the garden that Satan has been deceiving us into believing that sin is acceptable, that everybody does it, and that there are no consequences for it.  As a result of Adam and Eve’s sin the whole world was plunged into sin, death, and destruction. Before that time there was no sin or death. Everything and everyone lived in perfect harmony.  Sin destroyed the garden, the relationship between Adam and Eve, their relationship with God, and even the relationship between animals (after the fall, animals no longer just ate grass and herbs).  In short, the whole world suffered the consequences of their sin. Once they sinned, Adam and Eve experienced separation from God for the first time. They felt shame, guilt, fear and loss.

When I found out I was pregnant at 21, I ran and hid, just like Adam and Eve did.  I didn’t want my parents to find out. I thought I could take care of it quickly, on my own, no big deal.  That was a lie from the pit of hell. It was a huge deal, and this supposed quick fix plunged me head long into a deeper depression than before. Suicidal thoughts, feelings of unworthiness, self-loathing and despair overshadowed me.  I felt I was all alone in a dark place, where no one knew how badly I was struggling with my decision.  

Why are we so affected by abortion?  Because we are going against our very nature, God created women to nurture, love, and take care of their children.  Instead, we did the opposite and murdered our children. I know that sounds harsh, but it is the truth. The enemy is lying to young woman today, saying that abortion is healthcare and that it is a form of contraception, that is a lie, it is terminating a life.  For a woman, nothing good comes out of abortion, nothing.

I am so grateful to God for having mercy upon me. This broken woman who once was barely surviving, is now a woman thriving and filled with the Holy Spirit of God (my constant companion, guide, and friend).  I am hopeful, joyful, and loved completely by God. I am His precious daughter. I pray that you too can experience peace with God and a relationship with Jesus Christ, His Son. God bless you, dear one.

 

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
Idolatry and Codependency

Idolatry and Codependency

Idolatry and Codependency
Abortion Recovery/Recovery Tools
Exodus 20:3-5a

Exodus 20:3-5a “You shall have no other gods before Me. “You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve (worship) them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God…”

Idolatry is the act of putting something or someone before God in our hearts or minds. Idols are obsessions that consume us. An idol can be a job, money, a sport or hobby, a relationship, or a physical problem; anything that we put before God.

In the past, I have put my husband, my children, tennis, and other people before God. In fact, I became so consumed with what others thought of me, I became whoever they wanted me to be as a result, I didn’t know who I truly was. My fear of rejection and abandonment paired with my need for love and acceptance, made me a people pleaser. I had no boundaries so I accepted unacceptable behavior from others. I could never say no because I didn’t want to disappoint them. I allowed people to manipulate me, control me, and treat me very poorly. Deep down I felt I deserved it, especially after my abortion. I hated myself and felt I was of no value to anyone…not even to God. So, I allowed others to abuse me.

To protect myself, I obsessed over controlling everything and everybody. I didn’t trust anyone and believed they would all hurt me…even God Himself. Not having control was a scary thought for me, so I was afraid to put Him first. In 2010, I joined a recovery program for Adult Child of Alcoholics (ACOA). While there, I realized I had to relinquish control to God and admit that my life had become unmanageable. That’s when I started learning how to trust God. I learned to release individuals and situations into His capable hands, freeing me from carrying those burdens and feeling personally responsible for way too many things. I learned that God wanted to be first in my life. Reading His Word, journaling, and meditating on Scripture first thing in the morning became a daily habit for me. I looked forward to my special time with Him and Him alone, everyday

According to Mental Health America, the definition of codependency is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive (https://www.mhanational.org/co-dependency). In recovery, I learned about the condition of codependency and how I was so intertwined with other people’s lives that I could not detach myself from them. Their lives affected mine too much. I had to step back and allow them to make their own decisions, learn from their mistakes, and experience consequences for their own actions. I no longer had to jump in to fix, rescue, or save others. I learned that I am not God, nor can I control another person. I grew up believing I had the power to make people happy or sad by my words and actions; that was a lie from the devil. I never had that much control. Once I realized this, I surrendered to God and gave Him all the people and situations in my life I had tried to control. Finally, for the first time ever, I was responsible only for myself.

Twelve years later, I now see how God directed my path. He led me to get the help I needed so that I could be set free to live the abundant life Jesus came to give me. He has taken my ashes and my sins and has used them for my good and His glory. I am so grateful for His faithfulness and love over the years. I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for Jesus leading and guiding me.

Questions & Closing Thoughts:

IDOL’ATRY, n. L. idol latria. Gr. idol, and to worship or serve.

  1. The worship of idols, images, or anything made by hands, or which is not God. Idolatry is of two kinds; the worship of images, statues, pictures, etc. made by hands; and the worship of the heavenly bodies, the sun, moon and stars, or of demons, angels, men and animals.
  2. Excessive attachment or veneration (great respect or reverence) for anything, or that which borders on adoration.

(Definitions from Webster’s American Dictionary of the English Language, 1828.)

  1. Do you have idols in your life?
  2. Did you have codependency issues in you past? How did you overcome them?
  3. Do you trust God and are you putting Him first? If not, what are you afraid of?

I pray that this topic has given you awareness about some areas in your life that God wants you to change. God bless you as you seek His wisdom and guidance.

You are loved,

—Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.