I Am Still Responsible for my Actions

I Am Still Responsible for my Actions

I am Still Responsible for my Actions
by Toni Weisz/Recovery Tools

Romans 3:23, John 16:8, Philippians 4:13, Matthew 7:7-8, and Psalm 147:3

We have all grown up in homes that were dysfunctional because we have all been born into sin and have a sin nature. The Bible says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23). Some of us have experienced extreme neglect, abuse, abandonment, and rejection. This has caused a deep wound in our souls and a distorted perception of love. Because of this trauma, we don’t trust others and are fearful of them coming too close; we don’t want to be hurt again. For this reason, it is hard to trust that God is not going to hurt us either. Many women struggle developing an intimate relationship with God, our Heavenly Father, because they did not have a good relationship with their earthly father.

Regardless of what we have experienced in our lives, we are still responsible to make good, healthy, godly decisions. It’s the Holy Spirit inside us that leads us to walk in the truth and convicts us of sin, righteousness, and judgement (Read John 16:8). We have the ability through the help of the Holy Spirit to stop the cycle of dysfunction stemming from our home of origin or the traumas we’ve experienced elsewhere.

We can make good choices. We do not have to react to things without pausing, praying, and thinking through them. We are in control of our thoughts and actions. In fact, it’s the only thing we have control over. We have to make a conscious decision not to perpetuate this dysfunction and pass it onto our children and future generations. The only way we can do that is by:

1. Having a relationship with Jesus.

2. Getting help either through Christian counselling and/or recovery meetings, and reading helpful books.

3. Having accountability—a safe person or community to help keep you working on yourself.

Questions:

  1. What areas did you have to work on as a result of past trauma?
    Toni:     Rejection was a huge wound for me. Also trusting others not to control, manipulate, and use me was another. I had to learn to use my voice and put-up healthy boundaries to protect myself. I had to learn self-control because I was a walking volcano, filled with rage. I learned why I was so angry and came to terms with that. God has healed me in all these areas because I was willing to let Him in and heal me.
  2. What are some areas you still need to work on?
    Toni: I have been struggling with codependency, so I started reading the book, Codependency No More, by Suellen McDolly. It has been very helpful for me to stop and check my motivation for doing the things I was doing. I always want to be willing to work on myself. When I am triggered by something, I ask God to show me what’s really going on. I usually journal when this happens because I need to hear from Him in a place where/when I am ready to listen.

Our healing is a lifelong process, but if God is involved in it, we will be victorious. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Read Philippians 4:13). If you are just starting your healing journey, keep asking God to help you, keep seeking Him with your whole heart, and keep knocking on the door for more insight and godly wisdom (Read Matthew 7:7-8). God is faithful, and He wants to bind up your broken heart and heal your wounds (Read Psalm 147:3).

I pray this was helpful. Please reach out; we are here to help you and to pray for you.

You are loved,
Toni

arwsg4u2@gmail.com

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

How to Overcome Trauma

How to Overcome Trauma

How to Overcome Trauma

By Toni Weisz/Abuse Recovery

Psalm 147:3, Psalm 27:10 and Psalm 100:5

“Trauma can be more than a dark pit of despair or a spiral of depression. It has the potential to be our deepest source of empathy, strongest point of connection, and most forceful impetus (stimulus) for growth if we bravely choose to let others into both the brokenness and the mending.

My Brokenness becomes beautiful when I see Trauma as an opportunity to grow.” (Excerpt taken from the devotional Suffer Strong: A Plan to Redefining Everything, by Katherine and Jay Wolf.)

Psalm 147:3

He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 27:10

When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the LORD will take me up.

Psalm 100:5

For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations.

It takes courage to face the trauma from our past. This is not an easy process, in fact it is quite painful at times, and it is not for the faint of heart. That’s why many people don’t do it. They would rather live in their dysfunction because they know what to expect—it’s familiar.

Change can be hard, scary, and unpredictable. But it can also be beautiful, especially when we are able to come out on the other side of our pain and see the miraculous work God has done.

When I first started this ministry, the Lord encouraged me to be real…

When I am open and transparent with all of you, it gives you permission to share from your broken places too. I have experienced tremendous healing as a result of doing these calls the past nine years. The work of the Holy Spirit, self-examination, and a safe community in which to share are the most important elements for true healing and the ability to break generational curses. I am praying that each of you experience true healing in all of your broken areas. You are safe here, dearly beloved of the Lord.

Questions:

What areas from your past Trauma are you still struggling in?

I am still struggling with my co-dependency issues with my spouse. It’s a tricky place to be.

Where does Godly wisdom and discernment end and co-dependency begin?

Am I putting off conversations because it’s not the right time or am I fearful to bring it up at all? I do not want to fear man, and I feel at times I do when it comes to perceived authority figures. The Lord sweetly whispers to my heart how much I am loved by Him, how He knows the cry of my heart, and that He has collected all my tears in a bottle.

One thing I know: He wants me to be bold and courageous, to speak the truth in love, and to leave the rest in His hands.

How can we pray for you?

Please pray with me that the Holy Spirit will go before me to prepare my husband’s heart. Thank you for allowing me to share.

Remember: When your father and your mother forsake you, Then the LORD will take you up. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations. He binds up the brokenhearted and heals all of your wounds. Please reach out if you need prayer or just want to talk.

You are loved,

Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

Spiritual Warfare in the Post-Abortion Bible Studies

Spiritual Warfare in the Post-Abortion Bible Studies

Spiritual Warfare in the Post Abortion Bible Studies
By Toni Weisz/Spiritual Warfare (Toni’s Blogs)
Psalm 91:1-12

Why is spiritual warfare so intense when women decide to step out to be healed from a past abortion?

I have been in the post-abortion ministry since 2006, when I went through my first post-abortion recovery Bible study. Unfortunately, no one prepared me for what was going to be one of the most tragic and saddest times of my life. Satan came in and ripped my family to shreds. My husband and children stopped speaking to each other; my husband and I had a huge conflict; my son’s roommate stopped paying rent and stole from him; my daughter broke up with her boyfriend because of a porn addiction. All of this started two-and-a-half weeks into my first post-abortion recovery Bible study. I was in shock, and I was numb. Much of that time is still a blur to me.

To give you a better idea of how this all started, allow me to set the scene for you.

It was January 22, 2006, Sanctity of Human Life Sunday. I was sitting in my Sunday school class learning about the book of Jeremiah. More specifically, we were discussing how God called Jeremiah to be a prophet from the womb. Our teacher asked each of us, “What has God called you to do?”

For years I had asked God to reveal my calling to me. Up until that day, I thought it was just to be a godly wife and mother. But the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said, “I want you to help other women feel forgiven for their past abortions.”

Immediately, I raised my hand and told our group what God had just shared with me. I then shared with my Pastor after the service what God had said. I was so excited but had no idea what this would mean or how this would change my life forever.

So, I told my husband, “God wants me to help other women heal from their past abortions.” His reaction was, “No, that’s not good for you; that will be too hard. You should be in children’s ministry. You will be happier there.”

To respect my husband, I did nothing. I just waited. During the third week of waiting, my Pastor preached on obedience. The Holy Spirit moved in me so strongly that I couldn’t let it go. I went to my husband again and said, “John, you don’t understand. God is calling me to this, and I have to obey.” Thus began my healing journey.

Over the years, I have learned so much from the things that have happened to me on this journey. It has shaped the way I think, speak, and treat others. Unfortunately, I was not treated with kindness during the early parts of my journey.

Instead, I received harsh, condemning feedback and was told it was my fault my marriage was not going well and that I was in sin. These painful words led me to accept unacceptable treatment from my husband. My facilitators and mentors did not have experience in any kind of recovery work or co-dependency issues. They did not recognize I was being bullied and emotionally abused.

I thank God for the equipping He has given me. He has given me patience, gentleness, and love toward women who have lost a child to abortion. I know from experience that many factors go into the decision to have an abortion. We don’t grow up as young girls thinking, “I want to abort my baby.” No. It’s not a natural thing for a woman to do.

I decided to write this blog post about the spiritual warfare surrounding post-abortion recovery because many of us will be involved in these healing Bible studies in some capacity. Whether you are a prayer partner, co-facilitator, or a participant, each of us will experience some kind of spiritual warfare.

Know this: the enemy does not want Christian women healed from a past abortion. He wants to keep us in bondage and chains, locked away in a dungeon to be tormented. This frightening truth inspired the name of our eBook, “Leading Them into His Light.” Long before the eBook, God gave me a vision of a dungeon and women sitting in darkness and in chains. Jesus held my hand as I went into the dungeons to grab the women out so they could be rescued from the enemy. It’s a beautiful picture of God’s love for us.

Our eBook is available on our website for a donation of any amount. In it, we share 17 women’s abortion stories (including my own) and how God turned our ashes into something beautiful for our good and His glory.

Right now, the enemy is trying to trip you up. I am experiencing it in my own home, and you might be also. The enemy will use those closest to you to take you down and discourage you. But do not waiver. God is greater and stronger than the enemy. Stay close to Him and He will protect you.

About six months ago I started reading Psalm 91 every day. I suggest you meditate upon it too. It will strengthen you for the inevitable battle ahead.

 

Questions & Closing Thoughts:

  1. What spiritual warfare have you experienced as a result of stepping out and wanting to be healed from a past abortion?

    2. What do you do to protect yourself from the enemy’s fiery darts?

    I am looking forward to an exciting year in which more women will be healed from the trauma of abortion. With the healing power of Jesus, we can reach even more women and stop this cycle of death in their families.

You are loved,
Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

The Prodigal Son

The Prodigal Son

 

The Prodigal Son
By Toni Weisz/Abuse Recovery

Luke 15:11-24, Jeremiah 31:3b-c, Luke 15:10, II Corinthians 5:21a, Ephesians 2:1b, Luke 15:10, Revelation 7:9, Romans 8:15b-c, Revelation 19:9, and Romans 8:35

Luke 15:11-24

Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal (wasteful) living. But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.

“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.” ’

“And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

“But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.”

Some have called this, “The Running Father,” instead of, “The Prodigal Son,” because it’s the actions of the father in these scriptures that give a glimpse into the very heart of God, our heavenly Father, towards us, His children. I can imagine the father looking to the horizon every day for a glimpse of his son returning home. And every day, losing hope that he would return. Then one day, he spots his son and is filled with compassion for him. He girds up his loins (takes his robe from back to front between his legs and tucks it into his belt) and runs to his son. During Biblical times, a man of his stature in the community would not do such a thing in public, but he didn’t care what others thought. I read that the son could have been banned from the town or humiliated publicly, because he dishonored his father and their town with his sinful actions. This was another possible reason why the father ran to his son; he wanted to protect him from the humiliation and judgement of others.

Let’s put ourselves in the shoes of the prodigal son. Didn’t we run away from the homes that God had given us in part due to the dysfunction, and/or we wanted to explore the world and live our lives our own ways? All the while, our heavenly Father is watching and looking for us to return home to Him. How it must have broken His heart to see the destructive, ungodly choices we made. And yet, He loves us with an everlasting love; He yearns for us to come home to Him (Jeremiah 31:3b-c). The angels in heaven rejoice over one sinner who repents (Luke 15:10).

God sent His Son to die for us so we could be set free from the judgment we deserved because of all our sins. I love the correlation between the prodigal son’s father and our heavenly Father. Jesus became sin for us (II Corinthians 5:21a) and was naked, beaten, and crucified, and He died for us. He was humiliated and tortured for me and you. When I think of what Jesus did on the cross for me, I am overwhelmed with gratitude because I know I didn’t deserve it, but I humbly receive this precious gift of salvation that cost God the most precious thing He had, His Son.

Lastly, we too were once dead in our trespasses and sins against God, (Ephesians 2:1b) but when we confessed our sins, like the prodigal son, we were welcomed into the family of God. There was a celebration in heaven the day you received Christ as your Savior (Luke 15:10). God has clothed you in a beautiful white robe (Revelation 7:9), put a ring on your finger, and adopted you into His Holy Family (Romans 8:15b-c). One day, we will all be together for the great feast in heaven, the marriage supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19:9). Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus!

Thank you, Father, for the gift of adoption into your family. I am no longer an orphan, a stranger, or an outcast; I am yours forever.

Note: To you precious ones who did not have good earthly fathers, it is hard to think of God as a good heavenly Father. Please know that God’s heart broke when he saw the abuse and neglect you suffered at the hands of your earthly fathers. God is not like your earthly fathers; He is kind, gentle, pure, holy, and faithful. He loves you with an everlasting love. Nothing can separate you from the love of God through Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:35).

Questions:

What was your relationship like with your earthly father?

Do you see God as a good and kind Father? If not, please explain.

Please reach out if you need to talk or you need prayer.

You are loved,

Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

The Importance of Community

The Importance of Community

The Importance of Community

Ephesians 4:4-6, 11-16, Romans 12:15 and Ephesians 3:17

There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.

And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.

I have noticed over the years, the women who stay connected and accountable in a safe community continue to grow spiritually, they feel safe, they feel deeply connected and they feel loved. These women have huge victories in their lives because they are dedicated to following the Lord and living in community. Each of us has been given a role in the body of Christ by God. We see in the scriptures above that Christ is the Head and each one of us is apart of the body, we are called to do a specific job in the body to keep the body functioning properly.

Why is community so important? You have all heard the saying, “There is safety in numbers.” That is true for your spiritual life also, not just your physical safety. When we stay connected in community, we are protected from the enemy’s fiery darts. His primary goal is to get Christian women isolated so he can lie and torment us. How many of you know what I am talking about? We have all experienced the loneliness and despair that overcomes us when we are isolated. Especially women with abuse and abortions in their past, we are an easy target for the enemy. But after we join a safe group and stay accountable, we are now protected.

It’s not just being apart of a group that protects you, it’s being an active member of the group, serving and participating consistently, not just being an observer. We must invest in the group by sharing our hearts, our tears and our prayer requests. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. (Romans 12:15) This is how the church is supposed to operate.

My hope and pray for each of us is that our faith will grow stronger. That our relationships with one another will grow deeper. That we will be mature strong confident believers in Jesus. That we will not be tossed to and fro with every wind of doctrine. That we would have a Biblical world view. That we are rooted and grounded in love and in the Truth. That everything that we do is pleasing to God and that our words will always speak life and encouragement to others. God has so much more for us to accomplish in the upcoming year, but we as a group must be ready and equipped for this season in the ministry. I pray you are encouraged to step up your game and make Jesus and sharing His love your priority in everything you do. I am honored to be serving with you in this ministry. It truly is a beautiful thing to watch God work in and through us.

What are some areas in your life that you are working on?

For me I am working on being forth coming with a certain member of my family regardless of the situation. Secrets give the enemy a strong hold.

I want to hear more specifically from the Lord by taking time to hear from Him and to journal regularly.

I have learned to pray about everything no matter how small.

What is God leading you to do?

I need to keep my focus on God at all times and not to project into the future.

How can we be praying for you?

That I will trust God completely with my children’s health issues.

 

You are loved,

Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!