Who Are Your Balcony Peeps?

Who Are Your Balcony Peeps?

Who Are Your Balcony Peeps?

By Toni Weisz/Recovery Tools

Scripture References: Hebrews 10:24 and Matthew 11:28–30

Balcony peeps (people) are individuals who cheer you on in your life. They are literally hanging over the railing of a balcony, cheering you on in your walk with Jesus and in the hard things you have experienced in your life. They are your cheerleaders.

Who do you see as your balcony peeps? Can you see their faces? Can you hear their words of encouragement?

Too many people, even in ministry, are not kind, gentle, loving, or supportive. I have experienced a lot of pride lately in leadership roles, and it makes me very sad because I know that is not pleasing to our God.

In the book, Balcony People, the author talks about the toxic people in our lives and how much importance we put on their words instead of focusing on the positive people God has put in our lives that help stir us up to love and good works. (Ref. Hebrews 10:24)

 

Here is a poem by an anonymous source taken from the book, Balcony People by Joyce Landorf Heatherley:

I was hungry and you formed a humanities club to discuss my hunger.
THANK YOU.

I was imprisoned and you crept off quietly to your chapel to pray for my release.
NICE.

I was naked, and in your mind, you debated the morality of my appearance.
WHAT GOOD DID THAT DO?

I was sick and you knelt and thanked God for your health.
BUT I NEEDED YOU.

I was homeless and you preached to me of the shelter of the love of God.
I WISH YOU’D TAKEN ME HOME.

I was lonely and you left me alone to pray for me.
WHY DIDN’T YOU STAY?

You seem so holy, so close to God; but I’m still very hungry, lonely, cold, and still in pain.
DOES IT MATTER?

 

How do we meet these women’s needs? They need a safe place to come to lay their burdens down. That’s why we do the Sunday Conference calls. We want to be the hands and feet of Jesus to these dear precious women. We provide a community of women who have experienced the same trauma because we have walked the same walk. We know through experience what they are feeling.

They are yearning to feel deeply connected in a safe community. They have been used and abused and feel isolated in their pain, and they are vulnerable to the attacks of the evil one. They desire to be seen by others. They need love, support, and encouragement that one day, if they seek God with their whole heart, they will be healed. But it’s hard work, and that is what we are here for, to cheer them on and to help them heal from their past trauma. It is God that leads them to us, and it’s through the power of Jesus, the Word of God, and the work of the Holy Spirit that they are healed. We are just vessels God uses to accomplish this miraculous work.

We meet their spiritual needs as well as physical needs. We do not judge them for the things that have happened to them in their past because that does not define them. We love them, and we know they are weary with their pain and trauma from their past.

We are reminded of the words of Jesus in Matthew 11:28–30: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

I thank God for each of you on this call today. I know most of your stories, and I am in awe of God and the work He has been doing in your lives. I get to watch God miraculously heal your broken hearts, bodies, minds, and spirits. I am truly honored and humbled by the privilege to serve in this ministry and for each and every one of you.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. Who are your balcony peeps, your cheerleaders?
  2. Do you see them hanging over the balcony cheering you on? What are they saying to you?
  3. Who are you encouraging? For those that are just beginning your healing journey, take care of yourself and your family first, then you can reach out to others.
  4. How can we pray for you on your healing journey?

Please reach out if you need to talk this week. Send me a text at: 561-327-7274 or email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved,
Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

I Make All Things New

I Make All Things New

I Make all Things New
By Toni Weisz/Spiritual Disciplines

 

Scripture References: Revelation 21:1–5, Ephesians 2:8–9, Ephesians 3:14–21

Revelation 21:1–5
Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”

Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.”

God has given me, and those who serve with me in this ministry, a special privilege to walk alongside you courageous brave women on your healing journey. We have watched you come broken and scared to share your secrets of trauma from your past abortions and abuse. You are fearful of condemnation and judgement. Letting go of your secrets is not an easy thing, especially for those who have been carrying them for many decades.

But our merciful kind and loving Father doesn’t want you doing this alone anymore. He wants you healed to become the women He created you to be.

I have watched God in my own life take a broken, depressed, suicidal, tormented woman and lift me off the ground, and show me His great love, by opening my spiritual eyes to see that I was a sinner headed for hell.

My life was transformed when I heard the Gospel for the first time that Jesus was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, was crucified, died, buried and rose again on the third day, to defeat death and Satan. He took my place on the cross, He paid my sin debt. I went running to Jesus to rescue me from the torment of a life I had been living for 34 years. I can never repay Him for the gift of salvation that He gave to me.

Ephesians 2:8–9
For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

Our healing process is a lifelong journey. I was amazed at how broken and dysfunctional I was when I started my healing back in 2006. All the time the enemy had me deceived that I was fine, no need to look at my past trauma because it was such a long time ago. “I was good.”

That could not be farther from the truth. You see, the evil one wants to keep us isolated sitting in darkness being tormented by him because then he has us exactly where he wants us.

But God does not want His daughters tormented anymore. He wants us to be healed and set free from the enemy and from our own distorted view of the truth. He wants us to have the courage to step out and trust Him to lead us. He wants us to use our voices and our testimonies to help others to step out also. It is a hard process, but it is so beautiful because Jesus gently leads us by His righteous right hand.

Jesus gave me a new life, a new song, and a new purpose. He has made all things new for me, and I know He can do this for you too if you will humble yourself before Him and trust Him. He loves you more than you can comprehend.

My prayer for you:
Ephesians 3:14–21

For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height—to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

 

If you’re wondering how you too can have this new life in Jesus:

First, we must have a relationship with Jesus our Savior. He is our healer. There is no true life change without Him. (Salvation)

Second, we must have courage to step out and trust Him. This is hard to do, but we must trust Him in this process. (Trust)

Third, we must spend time daily reading God’s Word and praying. (Daily Devotions)

Fourth, we must be accountable to others. (Accountability)

Fifth, we must continue to want to be healed in all our broken places. This is a lifelong process. (Perseverance)

Sixth, we then go out and share our testimony so other women will have the courage to step out and be healed. (Sharing Our Testimony)


Questions to take to heart:

  1. Where are you in your healing process? Salvation, Trust, Daily Devotions, Accountability, Perseverance, or Sharing Your Testimony?
  2. Are you ready to go to the next level in your healing?
  3. How can we encourage you on your healing journey?

I pray this topic has been helpful for you. Please reach out to me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved,

Toni

 

“You Make all Things New”
Big Daddy Weave

https://youtu.be/4_2aX_i4qpM?si=bJrJBO7ppX2n4j2Q

 

How to Overcome Trauma

How to Overcome Trauma

How to Overcome Trauma
By Toni Weisz/Abuse Recovery

Scripture References: Psalm 147:3, Psalm 27:10, Psalm 100:5

“Trauma can be more than a dark pit of despair or a spiral of depression. It has the potential to be our deepest source of empathy, strongest point of connection, and most forceful impetus (stimulus) for growth if we bravely choose to let others into both the brokenness and the mending. My Brokenness becomes beautiful when I see trauma as an opportunity to grow.” (Excerpt taken from the devotional, Suffer Strong: A Plan for Redefining Everything, by Katherine and Jay Wolf.)

 

Psalm 147:3
He heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 27:10
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

Psalm 100:5
For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations.

 

It takes courage to face the trauma from our past. This is not an easy process. In fact, it is quite painful at times, and it is not for the faint of heart. That’s why many people don’t do it. They would rather live in their dysfunction because they know what to expect—it’s familiar.

Change can be hard, scary, and unpredictable. But it can also be beautiful, especially when we are able to come out on the other side of our pain and see the miraculous work God has done.

When I first started this ministry, the Lord encouraged me to be real.

When I am open and transparent with all of you, it gives you permission to share from your broken places too.

I have experienced tremendous healing as a result of doing the conference calls the past 10 years. The work of the Holy Spirit, self-examination, and a safe community in which to share are the most important elements for true healing and the ability to break dysfunctional unhealthy behavior.

You’re only as sick as your secrets.

Sharing your secrets in a safe and loving environment helps you to begin the healing process. It brings that secret thing into the light, and the devil no longer has power over you in that area. I am praying that each of you experience true healing in all of your broken areas. You are safe on our conference calls, dearly beloved of the Lord.

I also needed to practice what I preached.

If I was telling you to stand up to the bully and use your voice, then I needed to do the same thing.

There is a recovery statement: Say what you mean but don’t say it mean.

God has shown me how to stay calm, to allow the other person to speak, and try to stay on topic. Then when it’s my turn, I share my perspective but in a way that honors God.

I apologize when I need to, but I don’t allow others to just dump on me or yell at me. I walk away or hang up because that’s not an acceptable way to communicate. I don’t allow others to be verbally abusive to me. By sharing with you, it also helped me to practice those same principles in my life.

God showed me He wanted to be first in my life.

Once I put God first in my life, then what others thought of me didn’t matter so much anymore. I was trying to please them so they would love me, but that never worked anyway. It only left me feeling empty, unloved and depleted of my energy. I realized I could never make someone happy or sad; I didn’t have that kind of power. Only God can love me completely. So, I go to God when I need something because most people are not able to give me what I need anyway. They cannot give what they don’t have.

Questions:

  1. What areas from your past trauma from abortion/abuse are you struggling with right now?
  2. Are you able to share about them right now? Please limit your shares to 10 minutes due to the number of women on the call.
  3. How can we be praying for you?

Remember: When your father and your mother forsake you, Then the LORD will take you up. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations. He binds up the brokenhearted and heals all of your wounds.

Please reach out if you need prayer or just want to talk. Email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved,

Toni

 

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

Spiritual Warfare

Spiritual Warfare

The Enemy Is Prowling
by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Warfare

Scripture References: 1 Peter 5:8, Romans 8:1 and Philippians 4:13

 

Be sober, be vigilant; for your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8

I have been under a barrage of attacks by the evil one since I shared the gospel in a letter to two of my family members. I want them to hear the gospel one more time so they can have confidence that when they pass from this life to the next, they can know they are saved and will be in heaven when they die. Not only that, but at the time of this writing, we have three, and possibly four, Recovery Bible Studies starting within the next few weeks. That’s a lot of women hearing the gospel, being healed and set free from the trauma of abortion and abuse.

The first week, the enemy used family. My kids were not in a good place, some hard conversations happened, and people were offended. Finally, they were able to communicate and work things out, without my help. The enemy was trying to get me to fret and worry and jump in and to take matters into my own hands (my old character defect of codependency and fear) instead of trusting God.

Then on a Saturday, the enemy used people in spiritual leadership. We were in a group setting, but I felt ignored and not included in the discussions. God showed me from this example what not to do as a spiritual leader. I am to be aware of everyone in the group. We all need encouragement and to feel included.

Then on a Sunday, a leader at church made a weird comment. Again, God showed me how important my words are. They can uplift people or put people down. The enemy was trying to use spiritual leaders to pick my rejection wound, desiring to awaken my people-pleasing character defect (my old character defect of people pleasing, putting others before God, which is idolatry).

Then a few days later, the enemy used a woman who was very involved in serving in this ministry for many years, to react in a peculiar way and say some hurtful things. This one hurt pretty deeply. Again, I did not react. I actually did not send a text I had written because honestly, I did not know what to say. Instead, I prayed for her because obviously she is not in a good place. My old character defect of condemnation, listening to the lies of the enemy accusing me, was trying to make a comeback.

I was thinking to myself, “What in the world is going on?” Any one of these scenarios in the past would have pushed me over the edge, and I would have reacted badly or taken on rejection. Or my people pleasing would have kicked in and I would have scrambled around trying to make things right.

But because of the work God has been doing in my life over these 17 years, I am able to see with my spiritual eyes what is going on.

I am so grateful God healed my rejection wound and that I no longer yearn for the approval of man. I want my life to please God. I am grateful there is no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus (ref. Romans 8:1).

The accuser has no dominion over me. The Word of God has set me free, and the Holy Spirit protects me from the fiery darts of the enemy.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

I am so thankful to God for equipping the called. If God calls you to something, be confident that He will give you everything you need to succeed.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. What kind of spiritual warfare have you been experiencing lately?
  2. Have you noticed a pattern? When are you most vulnerable to the enemy’s attacks?
  3. How can we pray for you?

I pray this topic has been helpful for you. Please reach out if you need to talk or need prayer. Email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved,
Toni

What Are Your Triggers?

What Are Your Triggers?

What Are Your Triggers?
by Toni Weisz/Recovery Tools

Scripture References: Psalm 91:2–4, Psalm 17:8, Psalm 37:40, Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 147:3, Romans 8:37 and Zephaniah 3:17

 

What are triggers?

A trigger is an impulse that prompts a negative reaction caused by another’s words, actions or a specific situation, especially for those who have experienced trauma from abuse, addiction, and/or abortion.

 

I suffered from depression since I was a teenager and started going to secular counselors when I was 17 years old. It took me a long time to figure out where this depression came from.

What triggered it?

I noticed a pattern. When there was a special occasion, like my birthday, Christmas, college graduation, or moving back to NJ after being away for 10 years, I had certain expectations that I would be celebrated in a certain way with gifts and parties. When those expectations were not met, then I felt unloved and insignificant.

When things did not go as I had hoped, I would fall into a very deep depression that would last weeks at a time. This happened to me until I was 34 years old.

I was codependent, and I was triggered by the actions and words of others so much that they determined my outlook on life and how I felt about myself. It was a vicious cycle that lasted many decades.

In my home of origin, we never discussed or worked through hard things. People just yelled or gave you the silent treatment. There was never any resolution. No forgiveness, no grace, no healthy communication. It has taken me many years of hard work to learn how to communicate properly and how to put up healthy boundaries.

I am so grateful for my relationship with Jesus, my Savior. He is my Rock, my Fortress, my Deliverer, my High Tower, my Friend. He is my only hope. He will bind up all my wounds and heal my broken heart. I know what He thinks of me. I am the apple of His eye. He rejoices over me with gladness. He quiets me with His love, and He rejoices over me with singing. He is very pleased with me.

I am forgiven, redeemed, loved and cherished by God. I am adopted into His family. I am victorious in Christ; nothing can separate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus my Lord. These are the truths I am focusing on to heal my broken heart.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. What are some of your triggers?
  2. Have you been able to discern where they come from?
  3. What have you learned over the years to help protect yourself from these intrusive thoughts?
  4. What are some of your favorite Scriptures to help you when you are triggered?
  5. How can we pray for you?

I pray this topic has been helpful for you. If you need to talk, please reach out with an email at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

 

You are loved,
Toni

 

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!