My Wall—My Prison (Part One)
Genesis 1:27, Genesis 2:7, John 8:44 and Luke 15:10
When I look back on my past and try to put all the pieces together, I remember being a very young child, hiding from my father’s anger. He was unpredictable, and I was frightened by him. At the time, my mother was also struggling. At 23 years old, she had rheumatoid arthritis and a husband who was a rageaholic. She would become extremely frustrated and take it out on us kids. It was a very difficult time for our family. It was at this point that I began building a wall to protect myself from being hurt by others. I became very quiet and isolated. It was a way for me to stay out of trouble and the only way I knew how to control my unpredictable environment. Little did I know this wall would become impenetrable and I would become a prisoner.
Alone and isolated. It was exactly where the enemy wanted me to be so he could torment me and hold me captive, destroying my life. The devil hates anything God has created, especially humans. He hates humans because we are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27) and have living souls that connect with God on a deep level (Genesis 2:7). The devil wants humans to bow down and worship him instead of God. How does he accomplish this? He does this by isolating us and lying to us, like he did with me. I built a huge wall around myself, which unknowingly and ultimately became my prison cell. He was a murderer from the beginning, a deceiver and a liar, and is the father of lies (John 8:44). It’s no wonder that he was behind the first sin, when Adam and Eve fell in the garden, as well as the first murder between their children Cain and Abel. He is alive and well today in the abortion industry, convincing women that abortion is their only choice.
But all hope is not lost. God performed a miracle on my behalf, and He can on yours too. He pursued and wooed this broken, lonely and tormented woman. He made me feel safe enough to slowly peak out of the window in my prison cell to hear about the beauty of the Lord and see Him working in my husband’s life. I so desperately wanted to feel loved and connected with another person in a deep and meaningful way. I have heard it said that God created us with a God-shaped hole in each of our hearts. We try to fill this hole with the things of this world. Yet, only He can fill it.
What I really needed was a Savior; someone who would love me, pursue me, sacrifice His life for me and tell me I was worth the risk. I was waiting for my prince to come and rescue me, and He did. His name is Jesus, my Savior, my friend, and my Lord. He rescued me from the clutches of the enemy, and I am forever in His debt. I will serve Him all the days of my life, and I will be with Him forever in Glory when I pass from this life to the next.
When I lived behind my wall, I could not receive the love I desperately needed because I was cut off from the rest of the world. When we isolate ourselves, the enemy attacks us the most. We have no one to turn to for love, fellowship or wisdom. We are alone, tormented by our thoughts and the lies of the enemy. I have learned from experience that when I feel like isolating and putting my wall up, I need to do the opposite. So, I reach out and ask for help. That’s how I protect myself from the fiery darts of the enemy. I pray this was helpful for you.
May I ask you, have you put up a wall to protect yourself?
Are you ready to give God a try and lower your wall so He can heal you and love you?
Have you asked Him to forgive your sins? Do you believe that He is the sinless, Son of God who died on the cross for your sins, on the third day rose from the dead, and is now sitting at the right hand of the Father in Heaven? If you have not, then today is the day of salvation. The angels rejoice over one sinner that repents (Luke 15:10).
Please let us know how we can help you on your healing journey. You are loved.