It Takes Courage to Be Healed

It Takes Courage to Be Healed

John 8:1-11, Romans 3:23, John 13:34-35, and Joshua 1:9

Why do only a few women come forward for abortion recovery healing? The statistics tell us 4 out of 10 women sitting in our churches have had at least one abortion between the ages of 18-45? What is keeping them silent? In 2015, Care Net and Lifeway Research conducted a study on abortion in the church. Their research found that fear of condemnation and judgment, were the most cited reasons why women remained silent regarding their unexpected pregnancy or abortion. That is so wrong, and I repent of that sin right now. Lord, if I have not been loving or supportive of another in my past, I pray you forgive me.

I saw this type of judgement on the faces of other believers when I shared my abortion and announced my calling to this ministry. The look of, “How could you!” was very obvious. I immediately thought of the verse in John 8, “You who are without sin cast the first stone.” I know my sin of abortion is very grievous, but in God’s eyes all sin is destructive and we are to show grace towards others just as God through Christ showed us grace and mercy. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)

When I think about the judgment of others, especially those in the church, I think of the story in the Bible about the woman who was caught in adultery and brought before Jesus. In John 8:1-11, we read that religious leaders brought this woman before Jesus and told Him to condemn her because she was caught in the very act. Where was the man she was committing adultery with? He was nowhere to be found, was she alone caught in the act? The religious leaders threw her at Jesus’ feet for Him to condemn her publicly. I love Jesus’ words here, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” Then slowly, from the oldest to the youngest, they walked away feeling convicted in their own hearts. Then Jesus says to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”

The church is supposed to be the very place people can go to receive help, love, compassion, and care, not condemnation, judgment, and a cold shoulder. We, the Church, are called to minister to all people. God is not a respecter of persons (preferring one over another), therefore, we shouldn’t be either. God commands us to love one another. In John 13: 34-35, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

I thank God for each and every one of you who are reading this blog. I know how much courage it takes to step out of the darkness and face the fear of judgment and condemnation in order to be healed by Jesus. I am reminded of God’s words to Joshua when he took over leading the children of Israel for Moses. In Joshua 1: 9, God said, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

God is with you dear one. Would you trust Him today to lead you into a deeper relationship with Him so He can heal you? He is waiting for you to step out of the darkness into His glorious, healing light. You will not regret this decision.

Blessings,

Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
Thank You Lord, for the Gift of Forgiveness

Thank You Lord, for the Gift of Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Titus 1:2, Psalm 103:12, John 3:16

For almost a year after my salvation in February 1994, I struggled to believe that God would forgive my sin of abortion. The enemy lied to me and whispered in my ear, “God is not going to forgive you for this horrible thing you did. You are not worthy to be loved by anyone, especially God. In fact, you deserve to be abused for what you did.” These lies tormented me and I felt compelled to somehow make penance for my sins. Coming from a works-based religion, I thought perhaps I could do something to earn forgiveness from God. Was there something else I needed to do? Was there some sacrifice I could make to earn His forgiveness? Was I a person of value in His eyes, that He would forgive and redeem me?

One day I heard preaching on the radio and the pastor said, “If I don’t believe God can forgive sin, then I am calling God a liar”. I knew God wasn’t a liar (Titus 1:2 In hope of eternal life which God, who cannot lie, promised before time began). So, slowly I started to believe in my heart that I was forgiven. However, it took almost a decade for that truth to finally take root in my heart, and I knew I was truly forgiven by God.

Forgiveness cannot be earned; it is a gift. Because of Jesus’ death on the cross, I now have access to the Father. But first, I had to humble myself before Him, confess my sins and repent. I had to turn away from my old life and turn toward God.

Salvation truly is a miracle. I was plucked out of the world, adopted and placed into the family of God. This was only possible through the shed blood of Christ, the sinless Lamb of God, when He died on the cross for my sins and the sins of the whole world. All my sins were nailed to that cross when Jesus took my place. He was my substitute; He took my sins upon Himself so that I could be made righteous before God.

When God looks upon me, all He sees is Christ’s righteousness (Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us). God does not remember my sins anymore. I have been forgiven, redeemed, and adopted by God through Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. It is the most beautiful gesture that anyone has ever done for me. I am so grateful to God for having mercy upon me and saving me.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Have you asked God to forgive your sins?

Have you received the gift of salvation?

Have you asked God to forgive your past abortion?

If not, please do not wait one more second. Come to God and confess your sins. He is patently waiting for you. Cry out to God today and receive the gift of forgiveness.

Please let us know if you have turned from your sins and turned to God so we can celebrate with you and disciple you on your spiritual journey.

God Bless you.

—Toni

 

Further reading on this subject:

Why Is Forgiveness so Important to Our Well-Being?

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
Why Is Forgiveness so Important to Our Well-Being

Why Is Forgiveness so Important to Our Well-Being

Matthew 6:14-15, Hebrews 12:14-15, Proverbs 16:24 and 17:22

God commands us to forgive others. In Matthew 6:14-15 Jesus says, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Unforgiveness toward another person is a sin and separates us from God. If God can forgive me of all the evil I have done, how can I not forgive others? When we are in sin, we give the enemy a foothold. To prevent the enemy from gaining this access to our lives and tormenting us, we must confess our sins. If I hold onto unforgiveness, I become resentful, and then eventually bitter. Hebrews 12:14-15 says, “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled…”

Unforgiveness left unchecked will defile all my relationships including and especially, my relationship with God. By releasing an individual into God’s hands for the offense they have committed against me or my family, I am handing them over to God for Him to deal with them. I then pray for that individual, continually asking the Lord to help me see the good in them and to help me forgive them. Forgiveness is a process. Keep asking God to help you forgive others.

In my family of origin, forgiveness was not demonstrated. Instead, we would just cut people off. For many years I didn’t see my cousins from my father’s side of the family because of some dispute. I picked up on that as a child and learned it as normal behavior. There is no grace and no forgiveness, only harsh words, actions and broken families. My family doesn’t apologize for things. They simply avoid bringing these things up for discussion, leaving the issues unresolved. Over time, I am supposed to forget about the offence because people will never apologize. However, I am a believer and am held to a higher standard; I am commanded to forgive others. I must obey God. He knows what is best for me. Holding onto unforgiveness destroys my peace; it controls me and torments me. On the other hand, when I forgive someone, they no longer have power over me and I am set free.

The Bible says that our words should be life affirming and encouraging to the hearer. Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.” In Proverbs 17:22 we read, “A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.” We represent God to a world sitting in darkness and torment. The world does not know what the truth is; it is deceived by the evil one.

The people I need to forgive who were involved in my abortion decision:

  • The nurses and doctor for performing my abortion
  • Law makers for making abortion legal
  • My boyfriend for not fighting for our baby
  • Myself for thinking it was ok to tell my boyfriend we didn’t need birth control

Who do you need to forgive?

Forgiveness leads to freedom. It sets me free from holding others responsible for the wrongs they have done. By releasing them to God, they no longer have power over me. I choose to let go and to forgive them. This is not always easy, but it is critically important for my peace with God and others.

—Toni

Further reading on this topic:

Forgiveness

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
Rachel Weeping for Her Children

Rachel Weeping for Her Children

Rachel Weeping for Her Children

by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Disciplines
Scriptures: Matthew 2:13,16,18

In Matthew 2:13
Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, “Arise, take the young Child and His mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I bring you word; for Herod will seek the young Child to destroy Him.”

Matthew 2:16
Then Herod, when he saw that he was deceived by the wise men, was exceedingly angry; and he sent forth and put to death all the male children who were in Bethlehem and in all its districts, from two years old and under, according to the time which he had determined from the wise men.

Can you imagine what Joseph and Mary were thinking at this point? They knew they had to flee because Herod wanted to destroy the child, Jesus, but they probably never imagined the evil that would befall their family and friends in Bethlehem. When the wise men did not return to tell Herod Jesus’ whereabouts, his anger was kindled against them and he made a decree to murder all the male children under the age of two. What a horror; I cry when I think of the depths of this evil. Joseph and Mary probably heard about what happened in Bethlehem. They were deeply grieved of the loss of these precious children but relieved that Jesus was spared.

We read in Matthew 2:18:
“A voice was heard in Ramah,
Lamentation, weeping, and great mourning,
Rachel weeping for her children,
Refusing to be comforted,
Because they are no more.”

I have wept for all the babies that have died from abortions. I have also wept over the broken hearts of the mothers and fathers. I have heard so many abortion stories over the past 18 years that I have lost count. Still, each time I hear one, my heart breaks for these precious women sharing their pain with me. I have felt like Rachel, weeping and not being able to be comforted.

But what could I do, Lord?

I knew I couldn’t stand by, especially after the first NY law passed. Watching lawmakers and pro-choice supporters giving each other high fives at the passing of this law was unfathomable. They just gave people permission to murder a completely developed baby, capable of living outside the womb. This is a vulnerable human being. What are we doing? Do we think God is going to continue to bless this country? I think not. So, I stepped up my game and started actively doing STS Bible studies with other women. If God can heal a woman’s broken heart, perhaps next time when she finds herself in this situation, she will choose life. I want to break this cycle of death and change it to one of life.

After seeing the movie, “Unplanned”, I was standing at my sink and God spoke to me through His Holy Spirit. He said, “Every child in the womb is mine.” I cried and said, “Yes, Lord, I know. Please forgive me for robbing you of the life you gave me. I am so sorry.”

Just this morning on October 16, 2024, in a vision, I saw a drawing in dark coal pencils of full-term babies lying on the ground dead and a woman standing with her head down, wearing a long dark dress and a dark bonnet, surrounded by multitudes of babies too numerous to count. The sky was gray and the ground was also. It was very bleak and dark. In the distance were the silhouettes of women standing in a semicircle looking at the devastation from a distance. I only saw the picture for a few seconds, but it had a profound impact on me.

Lord, what about all these babies born alive after a botched abortion, especially if Amendment 4 is passed? Is no one going to comfort them, hold them, feed them; are they just being left alone to die? I am weeping bitterly right now while writing this. Oh Lord, I cannot comprehend the sound and the sight of these precious babies dying. Oh Lord, please forgive us for doing this evil thing, discarding our children like a piece of trash. The Lord whispered to my heart, “I will come and take them with me to Heaven.” Thank you, Jesus, that gives me great comfort.

While I was on my knees crying out to God, His sweet Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, “Little Bird, you will be surrounded by these children in Heaven. Everyone will have work to do, and this will be yours. You will meet, hug, tenderly speak to and love on all these children. Because of your tears shed for them just like Rachel, this will be your work in Heaven.”

My Prayer:

Lord, I pray for each woman who is on this conference call or reading this blog and for all the lives that have been lost to abortion. I pray that we will be bold and courageous to defend the unborn and to protect women from experiencing this tragedy. Abortion is anti-woman; it is anti-family, and it is anti-God. Open the eyes of the blind so they can see that abortion is not contraception or women’s healthcare. It is the termination of a life, the termination of a gift from God, and is detrimental to the very soul of a woman. Father, we pray in the mighty name of Jesus that Your Holy Spirit will bring women out of the darkness into Your Light. Show them how much You love them; we pray Your love will penetrate the deepest part of their being. Father, we are confessing our sins, and we are asking you to forgive us and to heal our land. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

I know today’s topic is very hard and heavy. I think it’s important that we allow ourselves to go there to actually feel the pain and sorrow associated with abortion, not only our own but also of others. We need to inform women that abortion is not a quick fix. We need to be bold and courageous and to share our testimonies.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. How did today’s topic affect you?
  2. Do you feel it’s time for you to take the next step in your healing?
    3. For those who have experienced significant healing, what are you doing to get involved in protecting women and babies from abortion?
  3. How can we pray for you?

If God has tugged on your heart to get involved, there are numerous ministries and courses you can take to better equip you for the work of the ministry. Go to: www.myashestobeauty.com/resources.

Please reach out if you need to talk: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are deeply loved,
Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
The Lord Will Equip You for Your Calling

The Lord Will Equip You for Your Calling

1st Samuel 17:28, 1st Corinthians 15:58, and Philippians 1:3-6

In 1st Samuel 17, prior to fighting Goliath, David has an encounter with his older brother Eliab. Eliab accuses David of being in sin and being prideful. In 1st Samuel 17:28 we read, “Why did you come down here? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your pride and the insolence of your heart, for you have come down to see the battle.”

Many around David, even his own family, tried to discourage him from fighting the giant because of their fears and their lack of trust and confidence in the Lord. The enemy was also at work in this situation, trying to prevent David from obeying the calling God had placed on his life.

Opposition to your calling will sometimes come from your own family and closest friends. It happened to me when I started on my abortion healing journey, back in January 2006. It was Sanctity of Human Life Sunday, and I was sitting in my Sunday School class. The Holy Spirit said to me, “I want you to help other women feel forgiven for their past abortions.” People closest to me said, “You shouldn’t do it because you are not suited for it; you should be working with children instead,” or “It’s too hard for you, and you will not be able to handle all the sorrow and pain associated with abortion.”

So, I did nothing for a few weeks. Shortly thereafter, my Pastor preached on obedience. When I heard this sermon, there was no denying the pull God had on my heart. I had to do this. I went back to that person who had doubted my calling and abilities and said, “You don’t understand, God is calling me to do this and I must obey Him.”

How can we apply this to our lives? First, we must be prepared for many around us, even our own family members, to disagree with our calling. They may cause you to doubt whether you have truly heard from God or not. Many will try to prevent you from fulfilling your God-given calling on your life. They will say, “Are you sure that’s what God is leading you to do?” The enemy will throw everything at you to trip you up, so you do not fulfill your God-given destiny. Your destiny or calling is not something you choose. God is the one who calls you, and He is the one who will equip you for it. In 1st Corinthians 15:58, it says, “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not vain in the Lord.”

You are courageous women of God and I want you to be encouraged. God will equip you for the battle you will face in your ministry. God will prepare you for every good work. Keep your eyes on Jesus and He will lead you, protect you, provide for you, and guide you, all the days of your life.

I would like to pray this prayer over you:

Philippians 1:3-6

“I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;”

Follow the Lord’s leading, dear one; He can be trusted. He will always lead you to walk on the path of truth, life, and peace.

Reach out today if you need prayer or a word of encouragement. —Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
Why Didn’t I Trust You, Lord?

Why Didn’t I Trust You, Lord?

This week, it will be 39 years since I had my abortion back in 1980 as a 21-year-old college student. I was far from home and far from God. Why didn’t I trust You Lord and have my baby? Why couldn’t I go to my parents and say I made a mistake? I was paralyzed with fear, anxiety, and torment.

Why didn’t Eve trust God? He was not trying to control them or hold back anything good from them. He was protecting them. Why does God not want us to have sex before marriage? Is He trying to control us or rather, protect us? Sin is destructive, it hurts our relationships with God and others, and it cost our children their lives.

I didn’t trust you Lord because I was not following Your laws and I was not seeking Your wisdom in my life. I was in the clutches of the enemy who was directing my steps and tormenting me to do evil and ungodly things. I was blinded by my own woundedness and my unhealthy coping mechanisms due to my depression, loneliness, isolation, and torment. My spirit was grieved, and suicide became a real consideration, especially after that horrific day: the day I took my baby’s life. But You Lord are gracious and kind, and You pursued me until I came to the end of myself and relinquished control of my life to You. That glorious day was February 6, 1994. I finally realized my life was a mess. I was so lonely and hungered for true healing and fulfillment in my life. I no longer wanted to just get by; I wanted to truly live. In John 10:10 we read Jesus’ Words, The thief does not come except to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

Going forward from here, how do I trust God and give Him access to all of me? First, I must believe in my heart that He truly loves me and has my best interests at heart. I must recognize that His love does not compare with any other love in this world. It is pure, holy, unselfish, gentle, and eternal. I must repent and turn from my sins and recognize that Jesus died on the cross for MY SINS!!! In Romans 10:9-10, 13, That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For “whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

I am so grateful for all the pain and brokenness I have experienced in my life, because it is the very thing that brought me to God.

In His love and service,

—Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.