I am Still Responsible for my Actions
by Toni Weisz/Recovery Tools
Romans 3:23, John 16:8, Philippians 4:13, Matthew 7:7-8, and Psalm 147:3
We have all grown up in homes that were dysfunctional because we have all been born into sin and have a sin nature. The Bible says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23). Some of us have experienced extreme neglect, abuse, abandonment, and rejection. This has caused a deep wound in our souls and a distorted perception of love. Because of this trauma, we don’t trust others and are fearful of them coming too close; we don’t want to be hurt again. For this reason, it is hard to trust that God is not going to hurt us either. Many women struggle developing an intimate relationship with God, our Heavenly Father, because they did not have a good relationship with their earthly father.
Regardless of what we have experienced in our lives, we are still responsible to make good, healthy, godly decisions. It’s the Holy Spirit inside us that leads us to walk in the truth and convicts us of sin, righteousness, and judgement (Read John 16:8). We have the ability through the help of the Holy Spirit to stop the cycle of dysfunction stemming from our home of origin or the traumas we’ve experienced elsewhere.
We can make good choices. We do not have to react to things without pausing, praying, and thinking through them. We are in control of our thoughts and actions. In fact, it’s the only thing we have control over. We have to make a conscious decision not to perpetuate this dysfunction and pass it onto our children and future generations. The only way we can do that is by:
1. Having a relationship with Jesus.
2. Getting help either through Christian counselling and/or recovery meetings, and reading helpful books.
3. Having accountability—a safe person or community to help keep you working on yourself.
- What areas did you have to work on as a result of past trauma?
Toni: Rejection was a huge wound for me. Also trusting others not to control, manipulate, and use me was another. I had to learn to use my voice and put-up healthy boundaries to protect myself. I had to learn self-control because I was a walking volcano, filled with rage. I learned why I was so angry and came to terms with that. God has healed me in all these areas because I was willing to let Him in and heal me.
- What are some areas you still need to work on?
Toni: I have been struggling with codependency, so I started reading the book, Codependency No More, by Suellen McDolly. It has been very helpful for me to stop and check my motivation for doing the things I was doing. I always want to be willing to work on myself. When I am triggered by something, I ask God to show me what’s really going on. I usually journal when this happens because I need to hear from Him in a place where/when I am ready to listen.
Our healing is a lifelong process, but if God is involved in it, we will be victorious. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Read Philippians 4:13). If you are just starting your healing journey, keep asking God to help you, keep seeking Him with your whole heart, and keep knocking on the door for more insight and godly wisdom (Read Matthew 7:7-8). God is faithful, and He wants to bind up your broken heart and heal your wounds (Read Psalm 147:3).
I pray this was helpful. Please reach out; we are here to help you and to pray for you.
You are loved,