Secrets

Secrets

SECRETS

by Toni Weisz/Recovery Tools
Scripture References: John 8:31–32, 36

John 8:31–32, 36
Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

“Therefore, if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”

 

YOU’RE ONLY AS SICK AS YOUR SECRETS

You may have heard the familiar recovery term, “You’re only as sick as your secrets,” and it is a true statement. Until we feel safe to share our secrets, we keep them locked up in a type of “Pandora’s Box,” where we keep all of our deepest and darkest secrets hidden, because we fear them coming out to expose the ugly truth.

For the post–abortion woman, it is the truth that we terminated the life of our child. This horrible secret was our child. For those of us who have been abused, our fears of retaliation, rejection and judgment keep us silent. Where can we go to share in a safe place?

God doesn’t want us operating in secrets because He knows how destructive isolation and secrets are. I started secrets when I was 12 years old, hiding my drinking. Then it was getting high at 13, then sex at 16, and the worst offense was my abortion at 21.

My secrets and sins were piling up, and it became harder and harder to keep them from coming out. I feared my parents’ reaction, punishment and disappointment in me. I knew all of this was wrong, but I kept those secrets until I was 50 years old.

They had no idea about my destructive, sinful, sorted past because I wore a great mask. It was not an easy conversation, but I wanted them to hear it from me because I was starting this ministry and I didn’t want them to find out from another source. It needed to come from me. I felt a great release when I was finally able to share this with my parents.

WHY ARE SECRETS DESTRUCTIVE?

First, secrets keep us isolated from God and others, and that’s exactly where the enemy wants us. He wants us isolated and hiding because then he can torment us over and over again, until we realize what’s going on. Secrets keep us from the very people that can help us.

Second, the dysfunction is perpetuated and will continue as long as we nurture this thing, and protect it, like it was some prized possession. The secret needs to be exposed and brought into the light.

Third, secrets can hinder or prevent healing in our lives. Because of the abuse many of us have experienced in our past, we are already fearful of exposure, and we think this secret is a way to keep us safe. But actually it is causing us to stay sick. God gives us the courage to step out of isolation and secrets so we can be healed.

Fourth, secrets are destructive because they distort our view of reality, and we feel like we are all alone. Secrets are usually combined with lies that we believe about ourselves, God, or others. God’s Word and the Holy Spirit help us to know the truth so we can walk in it and so these secrets and lies can no longer hold us back from becoming the women God created us to be.

God wants us free from bondage. Secrets keep us in chains and in darkness.

Jesus came to set the captives free.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. What secrets are you still holding onto?
  2. Why are you fearful to share them? Is it fear of retribution, fear of rejection, fear of hurting another person, fear of abandonment, or fear of judgment?
  3. When did you have the courage to share your secrets?
  4. How did you feel after you shared your secrets?
  5. How can we pray for you?

Please be aware that even in Church, there are some people who are emotionally unsafe to share secrets with. Make sure it is a person/group you trust.

I pray you have the courage to trust God and allow Him to show you the areas of your life that need healing. Trust Him with your secrets.

If you need help, please reach out to me. My email is: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

 

You are loved,
Toni

 

 

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

How to Overcome Negative Thoughts

How to Overcome Negative Thoughts

How to Overcome Negative Thoughts
by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Warfare

Scripture References:
Matthew 10:29–31 and 1 Peter 5:5e–9a

Lately, I have been really struggling during the day with negative intrusive thoughts. And then at night, I toss and turn for a few hours before I am able to fall asleep. I find that when my mind is not distracted with Christian music or radio, it immediately goes to certain people and situations from my past of the wrongs that have been done to me and my children. They keep coming back up one by one. I am continually trying to push them out of my head and forgive, but it’s a constant drip, drip, drip in my mind. I don’t feel peace and joy, and I don’t like the way this feels.

I am feeling inadequate and defensive. I have been triggered in the past by the phrase, “in the real world.” This is an old tape the enemy has been bringing up to me lately, and frankly, it has been working. I feel less than others because I don’t make as much money as they do. I find myself being harsh and prideful in my comments, desperately trying to convince myself and them that I do know what I am talking about and that I do live “in the real world.”

I was extremely triggered recently with a conversation I had with a family member. I felt my voice was getting louder, and I was defending myself as I was pushing back tears. I am thinking, “What in the world is going on?” That phrase, “in the real world,” came up, and then I just fell to pieces emotionally.

I was able to listen to his story and reasoning, and then I was able to apologize for responding the way I have been. It ended well, but I still feel vulnerable. I think a lot of this comes from my son’s prolonged illness and then his wife being equally ill. Neither one can work or take care of the other one. Thankfully, Mike is improving, and he is working hard to increase his body’s strength and capacity. But it is still hard.

I think, deep down, I am doubting God, even though in my journaling, He told me this trial will be over soon and Mike will be healed. It’s during the waiting that the enemy comes in to beat us down. He sees we are vulnerable and wants to inflict pain by reopening old wounds.

In 1 Peter 5:8, the Bible warns us to be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about seeking whom he may devour.

He has been on the prowl for a while because I have been very vulnerable for a very long time. I have tried my best to stay in the Word, pray, and stay in community, but I think I need more.

I am confessing this to you because I need your prayers. I know that the spiritual warfare surrounding this ministry has always been intense and relentless. I know some of you have been equally vulnerable and weary because of the things that you deal with on daily basis.

Let’s take some time today to lift each other up in prayer to encourage one another. I want to walk in peace again. I want to feel the joy of the Lord in my heart. I want the enemy’s fiery darts to be extinguished and silenced, in Jesus’ Name.

Our significance does not come from how much money we make or our status. It never has. Our significance comes from our relationship with Christ.

I hope these Bible verses encourage you:

1 Peter 5:5e–9a
God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring line seeking whom he may devour. Resist him steadfast in the faith.

Matthew 10:29–31
Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs on your head are numbered. Do not fear therefore, you are of more value than many sparrows.

 

Questions to take to heart:

  1. What are you dealing with right now that the enemy is using to beat you down?
  2. How are you able to quench the fiery darts of the wicked one?
  3. How can we pray for you?

I pray this topic was helpful for you.

You are loved,
Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

Prayer for Revival

Prayer for Revival

Prayer for Revival
by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Discipline

Scripture References: Psalm 51:1–17, Psalm 139:23–24,
2 Timothy 2:21, James 5:16, and Ephesians 4:29–31

Read Psalm 51:1–17

In February 1970, revival broke out at Asbury College in Wilmore, Kentucky.

On Wednesday, February 8, 2023 (53 years later almost to the day), revival again broke out on the campus at Ashbury University in Wilmore, Kentucky. After chapel service, some students lingered for spontaneous worship, prayer, and confession. The revival continued for many days and spread to other universities, and many people traveled from all over the world to experience God in that place.

PRAYER & SCRIPTURE

We are hungry for You, Lord. Just like in 1970, there was much turmoil in the world, the Vietnam War, protests, bad economy, high gas prices, inflation, and chaos all around, not much different today in our world. People are hurting. They are confused and fearful about what the future will bring. But our hope is in You, Lord. Only You know it all, see it all, and control it all.

We humble ourselves before you today and ask Your Holy Spirit to help us. We cry out as David did in the Psalms.

Psalm 139:23–24
Search us, O God, and know our hearts. Try us, and know our thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in us, and lead us in the way everlasting.

Lord God, remove any blindness that may be keeping us from repenting of sin in our lives.

2 Timothy 2:21
Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.

We want to be clean vessels sanctified and useful in your kingdom work. Purify us by the Word of God and the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

Father God, we are expecting You to move mightily to heal the brokenhearted and to heal all our wounds. We are waiting for you to heal us and our families from disease and demonic oppression, in the name of Jesus, we pray.

We are praying for our family members, friends, and neighbors who do not know You yet, that Your Holy Spirit will break their hearts of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Have mercy upon them, O Lord. We are crying out to You for revival in our own hearts, our homes, our neighborhood, our state, our nation, and the world. Come, Holy Spirit, and have Your will and Your way in us today.

We are surrendering all to You today. We are asking, seeking, and knocking on the door. Let revival continue right here and right now in us.

In the powerful name of Jesus, we pray, amen.

James 5:16
Confess your faults one to another and pray one for another that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Ephesians 4:29-31
Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

 

Preparation for Revival:

  1. Is there someone who you are harboring unforgiveness toward for something they did or did not do?

Would you like to confess that right now?

 

  1. Are you willfully going against what you know is right?

Would you like to confess that now?

 

  1. Is there something that you are unknowingly doing that is not honoring to God? Ask the Lord to show you so you can repent.

Would you like to confess that now?

 

  1. Are you angry with God because you are really struggling with loneliness, depression, loss of job, health issues, a relationship, and God is not moving fast enough and you are really suffering?

Would you like to confess that now?

 

Please reach out if you need prayer or encouragement. You can email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

 

You are loved,

Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

Have You Been Set Free?

Have You Been Set Free?

Have You Been Set Free?

By Toni Weisz/Spiritual Disciplines

Scripture References: John 8:31-32, 34-36, Romans 6: 12-14, and James 5:16

John 8:31-32, 34-36
So Jesus said unto the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. So if the Son sets you free, you are free indeed.

Romans 6:12-14
Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will not have dominion over you, since you are not under the law but under grace.

Are you still struggling with a distorted view of yourself, God, or others? When did that start for you?

It takes years and perhaps decades of hard work to undo the damage that was done to us as children, teens, and young adults.

How can we be set free to live the abundant life Jesus came to give us?

I’d like to share four keys that can help you be set free.

1.) I believe we need to confess sin daily.

Some questions to take to heart:

  • What are my motives?
  • Why am I so easily offended?
  • Why am I being taken advantage of by others?
  • Why can’t I say no?
  • Why am I fearful or anxious when I have to speak to a certain person?

When we have been mistreated, abused, or neglected or have an abortion in our past, we develop deep wounds which distort our thinking and emotional development. It’s only God who can help us heal in those areas and grow to our full potential.

I heard this statement, but I do not know who coined it:

“If you want to be forgiven, confess your sins to God. If you want to change, confess your sins to another person so they can help you be accountable.”

James 5:16
Therefore, confess your sins one to another and pray one to another that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

2.) I feel a personal quiet time with the Lord is essential.

It’s hard for some of us to trust anyone, even God. Slowly, as you spend time with God, in His word, He will reveal His heart towards you. You will begin to see how much He does love you and how He cares about every part of your life. He never tires to hear about what’s going on in your life. He never slumbers. He is always available any time, day or night. That gives me great comfort knowing God is always there for me because so many people have let me down over the years. But God is always faithful.

3.) Sharing your story in a safe environment (such as our conference call) is therapeutic and condusive to healing.

It’s important for our healing that we can share our stories with others in a safe and loving environment without judgment. Once we do that, our secrets no longer have power over us.

Is there some part of your story you have not shared with others?

Now would be a good time to do that. If you cannot speak on the conference call, then write it down and email it to me at: arwsg4u2@gmail.com.

By sharing our stories with each other, we can pray and encourage each other on our healing journey. You are not alone; that is a lie from the devil.

4.) We must be willing to do the hard work.

I am constantly reading books to help me heal and facilitate a healing group where women feel loved and safe. Our learning, healing and equipping is an ongoing process that will continue until the day we see Jesus. God is still healing me when I allow Him and the Holy Spirit to speak truth into my life. I have to be consciously listening to Him. Speak to God all day long. He is listening and waiting for you to call out to Him.

If you do these four things, it will help you to be set free in every area of your life.

Are you willing to allow Jesus to take you by the hand and lead you on this healing journey?

I pray this has been helpful for you. Please reach out. We are waiting to hear from you. Please go to our contact page to get our email and phone number.

You are loved,
Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!

I Am Still Responsible for my Actions

I Am Still Responsible for my Actions

I am Still Responsible for my Actions
by Toni Weisz/Recovery Tools

Romans 3:23, John 16:8, Philippians 4:13, Matthew 7:7-8, and Psalm 147:3

We have all grown up in homes that were dysfunctional because we have all been born into sin and have a sin nature. The Bible says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23). Some of us have experienced extreme neglect, abuse, abandonment, and rejection. This has caused a deep wound in our souls and a distorted perception of love. Because of this trauma, we don’t trust others and are fearful of them coming too close; we don’t want to be hurt again. For this reason, it is hard to trust that God is not going to hurt us either. Many women struggle developing an intimate relationship with God, our Heavenly Father, because they did not have a good relationship with their earthly father.

Regardless of what we have experienced in our lives, we are still responsible to make good, healthy, godly decisions. It’s the Holy Spirit inside us that leads us to walk in the truth and convicts us of sin, righteousness, and judgement (Read John 16:8). We have the ability through the help of the Holy Spirit to stop the cycle of dysfunction stemming from our home of origin or the traumas we’ve experienced elsewhere.

We can make good choices. We do not have to react to things without pausing, praying, and thinking through them. We are in control of our thoughts and actions. In fact, it’s the only thing we have control over. We have to make a conscious decision not to perpetuate this dysfunction and pass it onto our children and future generations. The only way we can do that is by:

1. Having a relationship with Jesus.

2. Getting help either through Christian counselling and/or recovery meetings, and reading helpful books.

3. Having accountability—a safe person or community to help keep you working on yourself.

Questions:

  1. What areas did you have to work on as a result of past trauma?
    Toni:     Rejection was a huge wound for me. Also trusting others not to control, manipulate, and use me was another. I had to learn to use my voice and put-up healthy boundaries to protect myself. I had to learn self-control because I was a walking volcano, filled with rage. I learned why I was so angry and came to terms with that. God has healed me in all these areas because I was willing to let Him in and heal me.
  2. What are some areas you still need to work on?
    Toni: I have been struggling with codependency, so I started reading the book, Codependency No More, by Suellen McDolly. It has been very helpful for me to stop and check my motivation for doing the things I was doing. I always want to be willing to work on myself. When I am triggered by something, I ask God to show me what’s really going on. I usually journal when this happens because I need to hear from Him in a place where/when I am ready to listen.

Our healing is a lifelong process, but if God is involved in it, we will be victorious. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Read Philippians 4:13). If you are just starting your healing journey, keep asking God to help you, keep seeking Him with your whole heart, and keep knocking on the door for more insight and godly wisdom (Read Matthew 7:7-8). God is faithful, and He wants to bind up your broken heart and heal your wounds (Read Psalm 147:3).

I pray this was helpful. Please reach out; we are here to help you and to pray for you.

You are loved,
Toni

arwsg4u2@gmail.com

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE!