My Wound of Rejection

My Wound of Rejection

My Wound of Rejection

By Toni Weisz/Spiritual Disciplines

Scriptures: John 4:13-14 and 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

John 4:13-14
Jesus answered and said to her, “Whoever drinks of the water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

Why do I long to belong to my earthly family?

Why is that rejection wound so deep?

Why do I want most what I cannot have?

The Lord speaking through the Holy Spirit, “Because, dear Little Bird, you were created to love and be loved, especially by your family. It’s how I created you. The well is dry, Little Bird. Stop hoping; Stop dropping your bucket down expecting them to fill it. I only can fill you. I am the Living Water, springing up into eternal life. When you drink this water, you will never thirst again. Come, Little Bird, let Me fill you until overflowing. Allow My love, so gentle and so kind, heal all your broken places. Let My peace cover you like a warm blanket on a cool winter night, and let My joy fill your heart and mind with hope and true contentment. Will you allow Me to do that for you?”

“Yes, Lord, I surrender all. I want You to be my all in all. I want You to fill the longing in my heart. I want You to validate and affirm me. I want You to give me peace that the world can never give me. I want Your love to flow through me. Your love is gentle, kind, patient, not puffed up, not selfish, does not hold onto wrongs, but instead rejoices in the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Your love never fails.”

 

Dear One, I know your heart has been broken too. I pray you will allow Jesus to heal you in all your broken places and allow His Living Water to fill you.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. Have you experienced rejection in your past?
  2. Do you still struggle with rejection even now at times?
  3. What do you do to help you overcome and heal that deep wound?
  4. How can we pray for you in this area?

I pray you know how much you are loved by God. He has a beautiful plan for your life. What the enemy meant for evil, God can turn around for your good and His glory. Please reach out if you need to talk: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved,
Toni

 

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Boundaries

Boundaries

Boundaries

By Toni Weisz/Recovery Tools

Scriptures: Psalm 34:18, Jeremiah 29:11, and John 3:16

According to Psychology Today, “Personal boundaries are the limits we set with other people, which indicate what we will accept and what we consider unacceptable behavior towards us. To know our boundaries comes from a healthy view of ourselves.”

From the book, Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You, our view is distorted due to emotional trauma we experienced as children. The two types of traumas described in this book are Trauma A & Trauma B. The Trauma A we experience as children is when we do not get the love, attention, and care we need from our family. Trauma B is extreme abuse: sexual, emotional, and/or physical. All these experiences as children cause us to have a distorted view of ourselves, God, and others, and it prevents us from maturing into healthy stable adults.

This distorted view of ourselves, especially those of us who have had abortions, opens up the door to all kinds of unhealthy and destructive behavior. God created women to love and nurture their children, and when we do the opposite, I believe our very souls are shattered into a million pieces. Our hopes and dreams as young girls are dashed, and we are now open to all kinds of ungodly behavior to somehow numb our pain. We are tormented and feel desperately alone, depressed, and even suicidal.

For you precious ones who experienced abuse of all kinds when you were young also struggle to put up boundaries. There is always the fear that people will leave us if we do. But boundaries are to protect us from people who are unhealthy and who will continue to abuse us.

So how can we stop this destructive cycle of accepting and enabling unhealthy behavior from others? First, we must realize we have a Savior and a friend who is the lover of our soul, and His name is Jesus. He is the only one that can heal our broken hearts, our broken bodies, and our broken spirits.

Psalm 34:18 ESV
“The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and saves the crushed in spirit.”

He is the only one who can take the disaster we have made of our lives and restore order and peace. And He alone can give us new hope, new dreams, a new purpose, and a new life.

Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

As a child, I did not learn what healthy boundaries looked like. I became a people pleaser at a very young age, and as a result, I allowed people to take advantage of me and treat me very poorly, and I never said a word. I wondered why I never truly felt loved by others; what was it? I didn’t think I was a person of value because of the way others treated me. Especially after my abortion, my self-loathing and depression really kicked in, and I was really struggling with feeling deeply connected and loved.

If I do not love myself, how can I expect others to love me and treat me properly. They wouldn’t. I was enabling unhealthy behavior because of the way I felt about myself. But when Jesus started healing me and His love came into my heart and I realized who I was in Him, I no longer felt like I deserved to be abused. I was loved by God. That’s what I needed to give me the extra courage to stand up to the bullies in my life.

For many of us, we had to learn what healthy boundaries were because we did not learn them in our home of origin. I recommend the book, Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. My son bought me this book back in the late 2000’s. It was so helpful to understand why I didn’t have boundaries and how to start putting them up and insist they be respected.

It takes courage and perseverance because those around you are not going to like your boundaries, and they will challenge them. But stick to your resolve, and eventually, they will respect them and you.

God has clear boundaries. When we sin, there is a separation between us and God. We need to confess those sins so that we are now right with God and that relationship is restored. God’s Ten Commandments are an example of boundaries.

Like you, I had wounds and issues from my past, which caused me to be self-consumed and blinded, and I could not see how I was hurting others closest to me. Only God can give us awareness and the courage to stop enabling unhealthy behavior and establish healthy boundaries. I was a little nervous the first time I used my voice to establish my boundaries. I explained my boundaries and insisted they be respected. There was some pushback, but I was not going to waiver.

At first, putting up boundaries is hard to do. But as God heals us, we get stronger, bolder, and more courageous. And we no longer want to just exist; we want to experience the abundant life Jesus came to give us. The first step in recovery is recognizing my life is unmanageable and I need God to help me.

Dear One, I want you to know that God loves you so much that He sent His Son to die on the cross for you

John 3:16
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

Have you received this gift of love and forgiveness from God? If not, you can do that today?

If you do know the Lord, then ask Him to help you to love yourself and to have courage to put up boundaries and no longer accept unhealthy behavior. He will help you if you ask Him. He did it for me, and I know He will do it for you too.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. Did you grow up in a home with healthy boundaries? Yes or No
  2. When did you first realize you did not have healthy boundaries?
  3. How did you start putting up boundaries? Was it received well? If not, what challenges did you experience?
  4. How can we pray for you in this area?

I hope this topic has been helpful for you. Please reach out if you need prayer or someone to talk to. You can email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved,
Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
The Importance of Community

The Importance of Community

The Importance of Community

by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Disciplines

Scriptures: Ephesians 4:4-6, 11-13 and 15-16, Romans 12:15, Ephesians 4:14, and Ephesians 3:17,19.

Ephesians 4:4-6 (ESV)
There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.

Ephesians 4:11-13, and 15-16 (NKJV)
And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; but speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.

I have noticed over the years that the women who stay connected and accountable in a safe community continue to grow spiritually, and they feel safe, deeply connected and loved. These women have huge victories in their lives because they are dedicated to following the Lord and living in community. Each of us has been given a role in the body of Christ by God. We see in the Scriptures above that Christ is the Head, and each one of us is a part of the body. We are called to do a specific job in the body to keep the body functioning properly.

Why is community so important? You have all heard the saying, “There is safety in numbers.” That is true for your spiritual life also, not just your physical safety. When we stay connected in community, we are protected from the enemy’s fiery darts. His primary goal is to get Christian women isolated so he can lie and torment us. How many of you know what I am talking about? We have all experienced the loneliness and despair that overcomes us when we are isolated, especially women with abortions and abuse in their past; we are an easy target for the enemy. But after we join a safe group and stay accountable, we are now protected.

It’s not just being a part of a group that protects you. It’s being an active member of the group, serving and participating consistently, not just being an observer. We must invest in the group by sharing our hearts, our tears, our triumphs, and our prayer requests. By sharing with the group, you don’t know how your share may help encourage another woman.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15)

This is how the church is supposed to operate. We should be more like a hospital than a social gathering.

My hope and prayer for each of us is that:

  • Our faith will grow stronger.
  • Our relationships with one another will grow deeper.
  • We will be mature, strong, confident believers in Jesus.
  • We will not be tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine.
  • We will have a strong Biblical worldview.
  • Christ dwells in our hearts through faith.
  • We will be rooted and grounded in love.
  • We will know the love of Christ which passes knowledge.
  • We will be filled with all the fullness of God.
  • Everything that we do is pleasing to God.
  • Our words will always speak life and encouragement to others.


    (Ref. Ephesians 4:14; 3:17,19)

God has so much more for us to accomplish in the upcoming year, but we as a group must be ready and equipped for this season in the ministry. I see God doing a new thing. On April 20, 2024, several of us from the ministry went to an event. Afterwards, we had lunch together, and out of the seven of us who attended, five came from Spanish-speaking backgrounds. I believe this is the next area of growth for us. God is raising up strong, healed, equipped women to minister to Spanish-speaking women. Soon my gospel tract will be on our website in Spanish with these precious women in mind. We want them to hear the gospel and be saved.

Look at these joyful faces. Would you believe that five out of the seven have been abused and all have had at least one abortion?

Toni Weisz and friends lunch at Nauti Dawg April 20, 2024 Lighthouse Point, FL

Toni Weisz and friends lunch at Nauti Dawg April 20, 2024 Lighthouse Point, FL

 

I pray you are encouraged to step up your game and make Jesus and sharing His love your priority in everything you do. I pray if you have not been regularly connecting in a deep and meaningful way that God will give you the courage to be open and vulnerable to share. God has so much for you as an individual and for us as a group to accomplish. Will you pray and ask God what your role in the kingdom of God is and in this ministry?

I am honored to be serving with you in this ministry. It truly is a beautiful thing to watch God work in and through us.

Questions to take to heart:

  1. What are some areas in your life that you are working on?
  2. What is God leading (calling) you to do?
  3. How can we be praying for you?

Please reach out if you need prayer or encouragement. Just email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are loved,

Toni

Read more of Toni's blogs HERE.
You Are the Light of the World

You Are the Light of the World

You Are the Light of the World

By Toni Weisz/Spiritual Disciplines

Scriptures: Matthew 5:3-16

Matthew 5:3-16
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they which hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you, when they revile you, and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely, for My sake.
Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets which were before you.
You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

Today, we are going to take a break from our usual format because so many of us have been suffering from some very hard trials, and I want to use this time to repent of any sin in our lives and to pray for guidance and wisdom in our personal lives and this ministry. Lord, so many in our midst have been suffering for a long time with no relief. We ask, Lord, for You to move mightily on our behalf. We are seeking You with our whole hearts. Please attend to the voice of our prayers. Your word says that You collect our tears in a bottle. So precious in Your sight are Your saints.

We pray for our leaders in our government. Lord God, we pray your Holy Spirit will break those whose ways and policies oppose You. We pray that You will bend the arrows they are firing at Your children so their own hearts will be pierced instead. Lord, confound those who are swift to shed innocent blood, who cause division, who lie, cheat, steal, and run to mischief. We pray that You will convict them of their sins so they can confess and turn from them. Lord, we are praying for their salvation, in Jesus Name.

We pray for our leaders in the church and in ministry. Lord, we bind any spirit of pride in the Name of Jesus. Help us to be humble and teachable. Help us to be quick to hear and slow to speak. I pray our words will not be harsh but will be lifeaffirming and encouraging. Help us to continually extend grace to others. Help us to be patient, kind, and compassionate. Let the glorious light of the gospel shine through our actions and words. We pray others will be drawn to You through our testimonies.

We pray for those who have heard the gospel and have rejected it. It’s the goodness of God that leads to repentance. Father, help us to reflect Your beauty in this world. Help us to love others the way you do, without partiality. For they are Your imagebearers and Your most magnificent creation. Lord, we are praying You will have mercy upon them. Open their spiritual eyes to see who You are. Open their hearts and make them soft and pliable like clay in the Master’s hand. Lord, we are praying for a mighty harvest of souls saved.

Father, we are praying for a mighty revival in our land; let it start with me, Lord.

Many times, we feel alone. I want to encourage you with this song from Hillsong United, Another in the Fire”:
https://youtu.be/WUSsEo52-a0. Let’s listen together.

Now let’s go to the Lord and share our hearts and our burdens. Let us confess sin and receive the forgiveness and healing we all need. Let’s join our hearts in one accord to worship and thank God for His goodness and faithfulness.

Please reach out if you need to talk or need prayer. You can email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

You are dearly loved,
Toni