Peace in My Storm

Peace in My Storm

Peace in My Storm

By Luci Boudreaux/Spiritual Insights

Scripture verses: Isaiah 43:2, 2 Corinthians 12:9, and Philippians 1:6

Isaiah 43:2
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Philippians 1:6
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

In the last five years, life as I knew it has taken a very different turn. David and I moved to the Blue Ridge Mountains in 2017, to start the homestead we lovingly planned for so long. It includes multiple gardens, fruit and nut trees and raising animals. The first two years were wonderful as we established our homestead and became acquainted with our new community.

God led us to a great little country church, and we began ministering wherever He led us and were excited about being able to bless others with the bounty from our gardens! Then things began to happen that started chipping away at my view of God’s perfect future for David and me.

Since 2019, there have been a series of events that brought me from excitement to despair. After experiencing multiple health issues that included severe back pain, foot surgery, a severe case of covid, and chronic UTI’s, which led to more than two years of debilitating IBS and losing a beloved dog of 15 years after years of managing her decline. And while dealing with all these issues, I was having trouble fitting into our very different culture. I started believing and focusing on the lie that life is not good, God is ambivalent, things won’t change, and it will keep getting harder. And during this period, we were experiencing the difficult restrictions and changes Covid-19 brought for all of us, which increased my anxiety more.

At the start of this new season in our lives, I had certain expectations that clearly haven’t been met. I thought it would be so fun! I expected my health to maintain a certain level so I could do all the things I love at home and doing ministry for the Lord. But the opposite has happened. I’ve been praying and thinking on this for months and have come to realize that the Lord had a different plan for us. You might think that should have been obvious to me, but like many of us, I’m stubborn, and it’s not easy to give up on my idea of the life I desired to live. God’s ways are not my ways; that’s becoming clearer to me.

I currently have three beloved rescue dogs. And for the past several months, I’ve been dealing with some very stressful health issues for two of them. And the third one has ongoing IBS and arthritic issues. Last October, my youngest, Chloe, developed lesions on her tummy, which grew rapidly. I found myself in the ER vet where she was given treatment and meds but no diagnosis. I followed up with my local vet who performed major surgery to remove most of her mammary glands, followed by a series of tests. But the lesions continued to grow on her body. His diagnosis was an autoimmune deficiency, so he put her on steroids to manage the lesions, and this led to diabetes. Before we knew what she had, her symptoms were severe. They had us up multiple times through the night and cleaning up after her constantly throughout the day, which went on for weeks. After the diagnosis, I was dealing with daily injections and multiple blood tests.

I was physically and emotionally drained. I didn’t think I could do any of this, and if one more thing was added, I would just shut down! I found myself falling into a heap and crying at times. I was so overwhelmed that I failed to stop and ask Jesus to bring comfort. Then one of my other dogs started limping. After two months, he had surgery for a torn CCL. He is now crated and requires both of us to get him out as he cannot bear weight and needs a sling under his belly. His initial recovery will take over three months.

I’ve had to step away from a young girl’s ministry I had committed to, and it made me so sad. And I’ve had to step away from my social events, which I love. I prayed to God often, to bring healing for me and my husband who is dealing with health issues that will require surgery soon. And I really want my animals to be healthy and happy! I pleaded with the Lord, but nothing has changed. In fact, it seems to be getting harder.

There are seasons when we can feel overwhelmed and unable to focus on living out our God-blessed, joyful and healthy life because all we can see are the huge issues before us. I have been so focused on my overwhelming problems that I missed seeing my mighty God and loving Father, who is in complete control.

The question I have to ask myself is, do I want to have an easy life with very little or no spiritual growth or do I embrace all that God brings and give Him praise for developing my faith and strength? Because that is what our storms can bring! I want to focus on God’s control over the problem, not the problem itself because it brings peace to my heart. In order to receive all that God has, I have to exercise my trust and belief that He truly is in control. One way I practice this is to remember His faithfulness to me over the past forty-one years.

God knows. He is in direct control of every detail of our circumstances, knows what we need and calls us to Himself. And in that time, we are to enter His presence. When I find myself becoming agitated and impatient, I stop and tell the Lord how much I need Him, how much I need to redirect my perspective. I have to let go of those things I can’t control. And it has helped me so much! It occurs to me that God has lovingly allowed these trials so that I may grow in His strength, for His service and His glory! And when the next storm comes, I’ll be better prepared.

I want you to know that my connection with you all has helped me to see how much God is working in all of our lives. God called us to encourage and lift one another up, which builds our faith. And that is what I experience when we spend time together sharing our stories of how God is working in your lives. It’s such a gift!

Questions to take to heart:

1. Do you feel helpless in the storms in your life?

2. How are you responding to them?

3. What are these trials teaching you (humility, patience, endurance, deeper trust in Jesus, etc.)?

4. How can we pray for you?

God bless you and thank you for allowing me to share.

I pray this topic has been helpful for you. Please reach out if you need to talk or want to pray: overcomer982@icloud.com.

His Servant,
Luci

 

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My Loving Father

My Loving Father

My Loving Father

By Luci Boudreaux/Spiritual Insights

 

Scripture Verses: Ephesians 1:3-4 and 1 John 3:1a

Ephesians 1:3-4 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him in love.”

1 John 3:1a “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.”

 

Many of you precious ones have been abused by your fathers or male figures in your life. So, it may difficult for you to see God as your loving Father. Or you may think God is not being gracious or kind when He allows trials or suffering. But He knows just what we need that will cause us to turn to Him and experience the richness of an intimate relationship. Sometimes, these trials are just what make us stronger and become more aware of His presence.

As a very young girl, I saw my father as the hard-working provider and accepted that he was too busy to spend time with me. I wanted to be with him, but there were very few opportunities, and when there were, he wasn’t emotionally available. As I grew into my teens, things became very contentious between us. He often accused me of being promiscuous even though I hadn’t been, yet.

As I look back, I see that he was intimidated by my becoming a woman. He didn’t want me talking to boys or exploring the concept of maturing. He labeled me as a tramp, which hurt me deeply. He expressed lots of anger and frustration. I had no idea how to cope with his misguided anger. So, I retreated from him as much as possible.

I began to seek out love and affection from other boys and men, which led me into a destructive life of promiscuity and substance abuse. This behavior came out of a deep sense of rejection and abandonment from my father.

The two examples that I had of what God is like were my father and the catholic church. They both fell short as they were hyperfocused on obedience and judgment. I hated the concept of God as a Father. But by His tender mercy, I came to know Jesus and accepted Him as Lord and Savior at the age of 25.

It took me a couple of years of prayer, reading the Bible, and seeing examples of godly men in the church to understand that God, my loving Father, is nothing like the earthly father I knew. And my relationship with Him became such a refuge of grace, forgiveness, and a constant loving presence! I came to know my Heavenly Father in a very personal way. I learned that I could go to Him in complete trust; I am safe with Him.

The relationship I have with my Heavenly Father is full of acceptance, joy, long-suffering, and intimacy! And I learned this by opening up to Jesus and learning about Him through the Scriptures.

When we see Jesus, we see the Father. I love the way Hebrews 1:3a says it: “He (Jesus) is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature.”

How blessed we are that God reveals Himself to us!

Questions to Consider

  • What was your relationship with your earthly father?
  • Has it hindered you in any way from opening up to your Heavenly Father?
  • How were you able to overcome that obstacle and embrace your Heavenly Father’s love? Was it through Scripture, a godly man, or a combination of several things?

The Lord is merciful and patient, waiting for us to come to Him with all our cares and questions. I pray you will find hope and peace in His presence as you seek Him. You can reach me at: overcomer982@icloud.com.

 

Your friend,

Luci

 

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Unmet Expectations

Unmet Expectations

 

Unmet Expectations
by Luci Boudreaux/Spiritual Insights

Scripture References:

Hebrews 4:16
“Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Psalm 27:13–14
“I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage wait for the Lord!”

 

After I surrendered my life to Jesus at age 25, I was so excited to go with God and live for Him. After years of mental and physical abuse by others and by my own poor life choices, which included abortion, I was anxious to start fresh. And I dared to dream for a normal life with God at the center.

I attended church, studied the Scriptures and hung out with other like–minded believers. I had great expectations about how God would fulfill my dreams to be a wife and a mom. And seeing all the young families at church intensified my longing to have my own family.

Years passed as my hopes and dreams went unfulfilled, in spite of my prayers. I got tired of waiting on God, so I took control and started dating a man who said the things I wanted to hear, but he turned out to be the opposite of the godly man I wanted to be with. You can read the whole story about “The Angel of Light” on MyAshesToBeauty.com under Luci’s Blogs, Abuse Recovery.

After three years of abuse and separation from God, I ended the relationship and surrendered my singleness to the Lord. And not long after this, I met the man that I’ve been so thankful to be married to for 21 years! In this difficult experience, God taught me that waiting on His timing and trusting His wisdom brings the best results.

Fast–forward to today, and again, God has me in a place of learning to trust and believe His promises. I have been physically suffering for years with GI tract and stomach pain. You might say, I carry stress in my gut! In the last few months, it has become debilitating. I’ve been aggressively reading and applying what the experts tell me to do, but nothing has brought relief. I also searched for a healthcare professional that could help to heal me. But as I prayed for guidance and searched for months, the doors continued to close.

My hope was fading as I questioned God, “Why? Why all this suffering? Why all this waiting?” In my weakened state, I believed the lie that God would not bring healing and that He wasn’t hearing my cries for help.

In this process, God showed me that I needed an adjustment in my perspective because I had lost sight of what He was and is always doing in the life of His children. He was helping me see that I was allowing the cares of this world to affect me, that I was anxious about many things, and it was manifesting in my body breaking down. In addition, he was preparing the perfect time for me to meet the right doctor. And as an added bonus, which I know was part of His plan, I not only met her but was also able to minister to her very precious mother who happened to be visiting.

God is not in the business of meeting our desires and needs in what WE believe to be the perfect time. He wants everything to be for our ultimate good (heart, mind and spirit) and for His glory. Just like Job, we can’t understand the mind of God, nor can we see the incredible plans He has for us. We have to trust that He loves us beyond our wildest dreams.

God has had His hand on my life circumstances this whole time! But He was waiting for me to give Him control and to trust His promises for me, as Scripture guides us. And one passage to emphasize is Psalm 25:9: “He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble His way.”

 

QUESTIONS:

What are you hoping and waiting for in your life?

Do you have a testimony of how God has answered your prayer in a way that surprised and blessed you beyond your expectations?

How can we pray for you?

 

I pray this topic has been helpful for you. You can reach me at: overcomer982@icloud.com.

 

Blessings,

Luci

 

 

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God’s “Perfect” Will

God’s “Perfect” Will

God’s “Perfect” Will

by Luci Boudreaux/Spiritual Insights
June 4, 2023
Scriptures: John 14:23 and Colossians 1:9b–12

 

John 14:23 (NKJV)
“Jesus answered him, ‘If anyone loves me, he will keep my word; and my Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him.’”

Col 1:9b–12 (NIV)
“We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.”

 

Before I met Jesus at 25, I had lived a hard life. I carried a lot of baggage because of others who had harmed me, both physically and emotionally. And because of my damaged self-image, I made a lot of poor choices. I abused alcohol and drugs and became promiscuous after being raped at age 12. As a single woman at 24, I got pregnant. Then I added injury to the pain and confusion by aborting my precious child.

As Jesus entered my life, He began to open my eyes and show me a love that I had never experienced. There was acceptance and a desire to know and be known, without fear of rejection. I knew I was safe, and this is when I began to open up to receive God’s will for my life.

Early on in my faith, I thought that God was in the business of answering “reasonable” prayers just because I prayed them. After all, I was His beloved daughter, and I knew He wanted to bless me. I strongly desired a godly husband and children, a smooth path to a vibrant ministry where I could share my faith and help other women who had been wounded, and to have no conflict with other members in the church.

I didn’t marry until I was 43, have no living biological children, didn’t establish a “vibrant” ministry (not how I imagined) and have had conflict with other members of the body of Christ. God hasn’t answered my prayers the way I desired. He did so much more! He answered them according to His perfect wisdom. So, I was able to grow closer to Him, and He has been glorified in my life.

As I grow in my faith, I am coming to understand that God’s perfect will is not always Him answering prayers according to my desires and my limited perspective. I am learning that His perfect will comes about when, in humility, I surrender. It’s key to a fulfilling relationship with Him. I had to come to the place where I wanted to fully surrender to God and be in an intimate relationship with Him, more than having any of my prayers answered, whatever that looks like.

 

Questions:

 

  1. Have you surrendered your will to God? If not, why? What are you afraid of?
  1. Are you in God’s will right now? If so, what does that look like?
  1. How do you respond to detours and unanswered prayers?
  1. How can we pray for you?

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My Baby’s Purpose

My Baby’s Purpose

Luci’s blog

Genesis 50:20: “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.”

II Peter 3:9: “The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”

Growing up in my dysfunctional family, which included neglect and sexual, physical, and verbal abuse, did not equip me to care for or respect myself as I grew in the way God intended for me. I spent many years allowing others, especially men, to use and take advantage of me for sexual purposes. By the time I was 15, I was deeply wounded and hurting. My way of coping was to act out in self-destructive ways. As I mentioned earlier, I allowed others to use me. I also drank daily and experimented with most drugs, including mind-altering substances.

I had no hope that anything in my life would improve but that it would just continue to get worse until I died. I was so angry at the way I had been treated by my father and brothers but didn’t understand how to break out of this pattern of destructive behavior.

At the age of 24, I slept with a man whom I hardly knew. In fact, I couldn’t even tell you his name. All I know was that he said all the right things that my heart longed to hear: that he cared for me, really wanted to be with me, and made me feel special, even if it was just for a brief time. He kept insisting that we have sex, and I resisted at first but then gave in when he said he had a vasectomy, since that meant he could not get me pregnant.

I was desperate for this man’s attention but certainly didn’t want to have a baby with him! But like most of the men I opened my life up to, he had lied to me and much to my dismay, I became pregnant. I was devastated and felt a sense of desperation as to how I would “fix” this predicament I was in. Of course, the guy who said he cared so much about me left the scene as soon as he got what he wanted.

I confided in a friend that had introduced me to him. I remember that she had a 9-year-old daughter and no husband, and it was clear that she resented her daughter greatly by the way she treated her. She told me to “Get rid of it; you don’t want a kid!” All I could think about was how I didn’t want to end up like this woman, mistreating my own child! So, against my better judgement and my conscience that told me “NO, this is wrong,” I chose to abort the only child I would ever conceive.

I cried every night when no one was around to see my pain. I cried for myself because of how empty this act made me feel, but mostly for this innocent child whose life I had taken so violently. I cried unconsolably, every night for months. Not knowing my Lord Jesus Christ at that time, I had no one to turn to for forgiveness and healing. As I look back on this desperate act of selfishness, I realize this was the final self-destructive thing that drove me into the arms of God! I just couldn’t live with the emptiness and pain anymore. Nine months after my abortion, I surrendered my life to Jesus, asked forgiveness for my sins, and began to walk in the newness of life that He offers to all who come to Him in humility.

I want to read a section of the letter to the baby I named Gabriella, which means “God is My Strength”:

Although your earthly life was so short, you impacted mine for eternity because precisely nine months after I allowed that abortion clinic to strip you away from my womb, I was born again! And on that amazing day, my heart, soul, and spirit were transformed from darkness and condemnation into the forgiving and precious light of Jesus Christ and His Holy Spirit! God took our pain and ashes and turned them into eternal beauty!

I am pouring much of my life into other women who have experienced the pain and grief of abortion by helping them to acknowledge and heal from this event. I love you with all my heart, my precious little one, and I will see you soon!

Your forgiven Mom

 

What purpose did your unborn child serve in your life?

 

Did it move you towards God or away from Him?

 

Additional portions of letters to the unborn:

Beloved, God knows your life was not a mistake. Your life spurred me to a deeper faith and a passion for Christ. God showed me grace, love, and healing in ways that I can’t describe. He used all these things for good (Rom 8:28). Your life allowed me to defend the defenseless, to value life in the womb, and to have compassion for the hurting moms who fell into the same trap as I did. God numbers our days and although yours were few, they continue to fuel my passion.

I, your mother, hold you in my arms today in a way I could not 10 years ago because I feared to look into your eyes and to hear God’s voice speak through the gentle grasp of your fingers saying “choose life.” In the light of my mind, I now behold you, my first child—the first of three girls. Do you know that you have two sisters? Do you know that your life has given great meaning to their lives? Because of you, I cherish the very breath of life God has gifted me and those whom I hold close to my heart.

As I embrace you today and always, I let go of shame, guilt, humiliation, rejection, abandonment, pride, and pain. I reject the lies that once kept your memory hidden in darkness far from the light of truth. My love, my beautiful baby girl, you were never forgotten.

Heaven has documented each moment of your existence in the book of life. Now, it is time for me to write your page into the story of my life.

In the years to come, when we find ourselves reunited in the spirit, I will delight in the unfolding of your unique personality woven together with the experience of your brief, yet significant life. For now, sweetheart, I entrust your care and protection to the Father, whose plans for you are greater than either you or I can imagine.

I named you Joseph because what the enemy meant for evil, God turned around for my good and for His glory. He exchanged my ashes into something beautiful. Joseph, you inspired a ministry called My Ashes to Beauty to help other moms heal from their past abortions.

 

Blessings,

Luci

 

 

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