Huyendo de Dios

Huyendo de Dios

 

Jonah, Chapters 1 & 2

When Jonah decided to go against God’s plan for him, he took a ship to Tarshish, in the opposite direction from Nineveh, to flee from the presence of God. God continued to pursue Jonah, but it was impossible for Jonah to get away from God.

God sent a great wind and a mighty tempest so that the ship was almost broken (Jonah 1:4). Even the mariners, men who were used to the sea and storms, were afraid, but they knew this one was different. Jonah tells the mariners that he is a Hebrew and that he fears the Lord, the God of heaven, and he tells them to throw him overboard so that the sea would become calm (Jonah 1:8-12). The mariners were exceedingly fearful, but God, in His mercy, prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah, and he stayed in the belly of the fish for 3 days and 3 nights. God had to isolate Jonah to get his attention and finally, he cried out to God (Jonah 2). God rescued him and Jonah did go to Nineveh, and all were saved.

When I think back on my abortion, I see that I too was fleeing from God. I isolated myself from Him and my family. I allowed the enemy to lie to me and tell me, “Your parents will never accept you and the baby; it’s a big mistake. Take care of it now before anyone finds out.”

God had pursued me also and gave me a way to escape. The first time I went for my abortion, I was partying the night before. I was hung over and needed food, so I stopped at a place to eat on the way to the clinic. But when I got to the clinic, they said I could not have the abortion because I ate. When I think back to that day, I drove myself and I was all alone. What was I thinking? That’s the point; I wasn’t thinking clearly, at all. Whenever I have made decisions based on fear, they have never been good ones. But I didn’t allow this bump in the road to stop me from having the abortion. I bought into the lie that my child would be deformed because of my heavy drinking and drug usage. This was something I had to do; I didn’t see any other options.

I made another appointment, and that time, I did follow through with it. To this day, I wish I had not done it. But I cannot change my past. I had my abortion on December 10, 1980, and at that moment everything changed. My heart was broken, my body was broken, and my spirit was broken. It was the worst decision I had ever made in my life. My heart goes out to you precious sisters who were forced by someone else to have an abortion against your will.

I struggled with depression, crying episodes, feelings of isolation, and loneliness. I continued with the drinking and drugs, and thoughts of suicide started entering my mind. I just wanted the pain to go away. Then one glorious day, I heard the gospel for the first time on January 2, 1994 and in 4 semanas, I had given my heart to the Lord and asked Him to forgive all my sins and to heal my broken heart. From that moment forward, I would never have to feel alone again. I have a Savior who will never leave me nor forsake me. Gracias, Jesús.

God has a beautiful plan and purpose for your life too. In Jeremiah 29:11, “FOR I KNOW THE THOUGHTS I HAVE FOR YOU, SAYS THE LORD, THOUGHTS OF PEACE AND NOT OF EVIL, TO GIVE YOU A FUTURE AND A HOPE.” God can turn the darkest times in your life into something beautiful for His honor and glory.

“Running to God instead of away from God in the midst of suffering is not a natural response. It is the supernatural response that God equips His children with as we stare grief, uncertainty, miedo, and sometimes Satan himself in the face.” Taken from the devotional, Pray BIG Things, by Julia Jeffress Sadler, LPC, on the You Version Bible App.

When have you run away from God?

Have you run to other things to help you cope with your past trauma instead of trusting God with it? What were those things for you?

Are you still running now?

I pray that you will know how much you are loved by God and that He has a beautiful plan for your life, but you need to trust Him.

I pray you trust Him today.

Eres amado,
TONI

 

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Límites: por qué son tan importantes?

Límites: por qué son tan importantes?

Salmo 34:18, Jeremías 29:11, John 3:16

Personal boundaries, as defined by Psychology today, “Are the limits we set with other people, which indicate what we will accept and what we consider unacceptable behavior towards us. To know our boundaries comes from a healthy view of ourselves.” When that view is distorted due to emotional trauma as children (whether we did not get the love and care from our family which is a Type A Trauma or we were sexually, emotionally, or physically abused as children which is Type B Trauma). All these experiences as children cause us to have a distorted view of ourselves, Dios, and others and it prevents us from maturing into healthy stable adults. (Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You, A Life Model Book)

This distorted view of ourselves especially those of us who have had abortions opens up the door to all kinds of unhealthy and destructive behavior. God created women to love and nurture their children and then we did the opposite. Our hopes and dreams as young girls are dashed, and we are now open to all kinds of unhealthy destructive coping mechanisms and ungodly behavior to deal with our pain. Our very souls are tormented and we feel desperately alone, depressed and even suicidal.

So how can we stop this destructive cycle of accepting and enabling unhealthy behavior from others? Primero, we must realize we have a Savior and a friend who is the lover of our soul, and His name is Jesus. He is the only one that can heal our broken spirits, our broken bodies and our broken minds. Salmo 34:18 ESV “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves the crushed in spirit.” He is the only one that can take the disaster we have made of our lives and restore order and peace. And He alone can give us a new hope, new dreams, un nuevo propósito, and a new life. Jeremías 29:11 NKJV, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

In childhood, I did not learn what healthy boundaries look like. I became a people pleaser at a very young age and as a result I allowed people to take advantage of me and treat me very poorly and I never said a word. I wondered why I never truly felt loved by others; what was it? I was allowing all kinds of unhealthy behavior because I didn’t love and respect myself, especially after my abortion. I now despised myself. I didn’t understand why others didn’t treat me with love, kindness and compassion. I realized they cannot give what they do not have. But that took many decades for me to come to that understanding. I also recognized that they did the best they could with what they had and I released them into God’s Hands and started praying for and forgave them.

We all have our wounds and issues from our past, which causes us to be self-consumed and blinded, and we cannot see how we are hurting others closest to us. Only God can give us awareness and the courage to stop accepting unacceptable behavior and establish healthy boundaries. For the first time, I used my voice to explain my boundaries and insist they be respected. There was some push back but I was not going to waiver. At first, putting up boundaries is hard to do. But as God heals us, we get stronger, bolder and more courageous, and we no longer want to just exist, we want to experience the abundant life Jesus came to give us. The first step in recovery is recognizing my life is unmanageable and I need God to help me.

Dear One, I want you to know that God loves you so much that He sent His Son to die on the cross for you. (John 3:16) Have you received this gift of love and forgiveness from God? If not you can do that today? If you do know the Lord, then ask Him to help you to love yourself and to have courage to put up boundaries and no longer accept unhealthy behavior. He will help you if you ask Him, He did it for me and I know He will do it for you too.

 

 

Bendiciones,

Toni

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Pensamiento apestoso: Ansiedad

Pensamiento apestoso: Ansiedad

Pensamiento apestoso: Ansiedad

filipenses 4:6-7 and Matthew 6:25-26, 31 y 33

filipenses 4:6
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication (humbly asking) with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

mateo 6:25-26, 31, y 33
“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not your life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather in barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? “Therefore do not worry, diciendo, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you.”

El pensamiento apestoso se refiere a los pensamientos negativos que nos atormentan, especialmente cuando estamos DETENIDOS.: Hambriento, Enojado, Solitario o cansado; Pensamientos como una visión distorsionada de Dios y de uno mismo., pensamiento negativo, justificación, miedo, y ansiedad. Abordaremos cada uno de estos temas para que podamos discernir entre las mentiras que hemos creído a lo largo de los años y reemplazarlas con la verdad de Dios.. Nuestro objetivo es equiparte para que puedas tener la victoria en estas áreas..

I become anxious when I negatively project into the future without God in it. When I do this, I feel weak, hopeless, and discouraged. My head and eyes are cast down and I feel like giving up. But when I recognize I am looking inward, then I remind myself that my help comes from the Lord and I look up to heaven. God has promised us in His Word, that He will meet all of our needs. Are you not of more value than many sparrows? But unfortunately, I did not know Him nor did I trust Him, and as a result, I have made some very bad decisions because I did not trust Him with my future.

I thought I could minimize my anxiety by trying to control everyone and everything. But I realized this was impossible to do and it was very frustrating and emotionally draining. I used to jump in to fix and rescue people because I would become anxious about all the what ifs. I was sinning against God by not trusting Him with my marriage, my children, my business, and ministry. I remember in my journaling, God telling me, “Get out of my way you are preventing me from working.” IN ALL CAPS, TOO. God was not happy with me. God showed me that my lack of trust in Him was a sin and putting others before Him was an idol. I repented and turned away from my sin and turned to God and now I am not anxious about anything, because I know God will provide for all my needs and my family’s needs as well. I am finally free.

Let me ask you, what are you trying to control?

Are you feeling anxious?

 

Bendiciones,

Toni

Pensamiento apestoso: Mi visión distorsionada de Dios

Pensamiento apestoso: Mi visión distorsionada de Dios

Proverbios 23:7a, Romanos 2:4d, 1 Corintios 6:20, y juan 3:16

 

El pensamiento apestoso se refiere a los pensamientos negativos que nos atormentan especialmente cuando estamos DETENER (hinfeliz, Aenojado, lsolo o tenojado) o tener pensamientos como una visión distorsionada de Dios y de uno mismo, pensamiento negativo, justificación, miedo, y ansiedad. Abordaremos cada uno de estos temas para que podamos discernir entre las mentiras que hemos creído a lo largo de los años y reemplazarlas con la verdad de Dios.. Nuestro objetivo es equiparte para que puedas tener la victoria en estas áreas..

Primero, la Palabra de Dios dice en Proverbios 23:7a, “Porque como él piensa en su corazón, él también.” Lo que pensamos de nosotros mismos dicta cómo nos vemos a nosotros mismos, Dios, y otros, y cómo respondemos a las cosas. Si nos vemos como hijos de Dios, amado, apreciado y adoptado en la familia de Dios, veremos que somos realmente especiales, apartado por Dios para buenas obras. Tendremos una visión más positiva del mundo. Si sentimos que no somos dignos de ser amados debido a nuestros pecados pasados, y no una persona de valor, nos sentiremos deprimidos, solitario, y sin esperanza. ¿Puedes ver que lo que pensamos determina cómo nos sentimos??

Mi primera visión distorsionada de Dios comenzó cuando era un niño muy pequeño. 6 o 7 años. Vi a Dios como un Dios enojado que era inaccesible.. Me dijeron cuando era niño, si hiciera algo mal dios me castigaría, Estaba constantemente esperando que el martillo cayera sobre mi cabeza cada vez que hacía algo mal.. La iglesia era antigua y tenía hermosos vitrales., pero por dentro estaba oscuro, frío, y la gente hablaba en latín. No vi el amor de Dios ahí. Todo lo que vi fueron reglas estrictas y castigos severos por desobedecer.. Vi a estudiantes golpearlos con reglas regularmente.. Esto me mantuvo escondido de nuevo, como lo hice en casa, cuando mi padre estaba teniendo uno de sus arrebatos de ira.

Es la bondad de Dios la que lleva al arrepentimiento. (Romanos 2:4d) Un método para modificar la conducta es mediante el miedo al juicio.; el otro es a través del amor. Dios quiere que le obedezcamos por amor y no por miedo. Si amas a alguien y él te ama, quieres pasar tiempo con esta persona, pero cuando piensas que alguien es una persona dura, No es alguien con quien te sientas seguro y cómodo.. Ves la diferencia? Dios es amor, y su gracia es inmerecida. Por lo que Jesús hizo por mí en la cruz., lo menos que puedo hacer es servirle y obedecer su palabra. fui comprado con un precio (1 Corintios 6:20); La preciosa sangre de Jesús pagó la pena por mis pecados y los pecados del mundo entero..

No vi el amor de Dios evidente en mi antigua iglesia.. No fue hasta que fui 34, cuando asistí a una pequeña iglesia bautista en Nueva Jersey, que escuché el evangelio por primera vez. El edificio era muy sencillo., sin vidrieras. Había una cruz en el frente donde estaba el predicador y un piano.. Pero una cosa que sí vi mostrada fue el amor de Dios que estas personas tenían.. Eso es lo que me atrajo a Jesús. Fue la predicación de la Palabra de Dios a través de la Biblia y el amor de Dios en las palabras y acciones y en los rostros de las personas que asistieron a esa pequeña iglesia..

John 3:16 “Porque tanto amó Dios al mundo que dio a su hijo unigénito… ” Él nos amó tanto que dio a su Hijo para morir por ti y por mí.; esa es una imagen de amor sacrificado. Gracias, Jesús, por morir voluntariamente en la cruz por nosotros, Sé que es tu amor por el mundo lo que te mantuvo en esa cruz.

Creo que el enemigo está trabajando duro para distorsionar nuestra visión de Dios., para hacernos dudar de que Él realmente nos ama y se preocupa por nosotros. Mira a Eva en el jardín., la serpiente (Satán), el engañador y padre de la mentira, tratando de plantar semillas de duda en la mente de Eva sobre si se puede confiar en la Palabra de Dios. Me imagino que ella estaba pensando, “Dios me está ocultando algo bueno, Él realmente no me ama porque si lo hiciera, Él me daría todo lo que quiero”. Adán y Eva no sabían qué era lo mejor para ellos, y es lo mismo con nosotros; Tampoco sabemos qué es lo mejor para nosotros.. Dios nos dijo que no tuviéramos relaciones sexuales antes del matrimonio.. ¿Estaba ocultándonos?? No, En realidad Él nos estaba protegiendo., especialmente aquellos de nosotros que abortaríamos a nuestros bebés. Estaba tratando de protegernos a nosotros y a nuestros bebés..

Me di cuenta que era por amor que Dios no quería que tuviera relaciones sexuales fuera del matrimonio., porque quería protegerme. Si tan solo hubiera confiado en Dios y lo hubiera invitado a participar en mi proceso de toma de decisiones y creído que Él proveería para mi bebé y para mí., Entonces tal vez hubiera tenido el coraje de elegir la vida para mi bebé.. En cambio, mi visión distorsionada de Dios me hizo temer acercarme a Él con mis necesidades., cual era el enemigo'plan. Si el enemigo puede hacernos entrar en pánico y no buscar a Dios'sabiduría, disposición, y proteccion, entonces ha ganado la batalla.

¿Cuáles eran tus puntos de vista distorsionados sobre Dios cuando eras más joven??

¿Cómo lo ves ahora??

 

Bendiciones,

Toni

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¿Por qué el perdón es tan importante para nuestro bienestar?

¿Por qué el perdón es tan importante para nuestro bienestar?

mateo 6:14-15, Hebreos 12:14-15, Proverbios 16:24 y 17:22

God commands us to forgive others. In Matthew 6:14-15 Jesus says, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Unforgiveness toward another person is a sin and separates us from God. If God can forgive me of all the evil I have done, how can I not forgive others? When we are in sin, we give the enemy a foothold. To prevent the enemy from gaining this access to our lives and tormenting us, we must confess our sins. If I hold onto unforgiveness, I become resentful, and then eventually bitter. Hebreos 12:14-15 says, “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled…”

Unforgiveness left unchecked will defile all my relationships including and especially, my relationship with God. By releasing an individual into God’s hands for the offense they have committed against me or my family, I am handing them over to God for Him to deal with them. I then pray for that individual, continually asking the Lord to help me see the good in them and to help me forgive them. Forgiveness is a process. Keep asking God to help you forgive others.

In my family of origin, forgiveness was not demonstrated. Instead, we would just cut people off. For many years I didn’t see my cousins from my father’s side of the family because of some dispute. I picked up on that as a child and learned it as normal behavior. There is no grace and no forgiveness, only harsh words, actions and broken families. My family doesn’t apologize for things. They simply avoid bringing these things up for discussion, leaving the issues unresolved. Over time, I am supposed to forget about the offence because people will never apologize. Sin embargo, I am a believer and am held to a higher standard; I am commanded to forgive others. I must obey God. He knows what is best for me. Holding onto unforgiveness destroys my peace; it controls me and torments me. On the other hand, when I forgive someone, they no longer have power over me and I am set free.

The Bible says that our words should be life affirming and encouraging to the hearer. Proverbios 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.” In Proverbs 17:22 we read, “A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.” We represent God to a world sitting in darkness and torment. The world does not know what the truth is; it is deceived by the evil one.

The people I need to forgive who were involved in my abortion decision:

  • The nurses and doctor for performing my abortion
  • Law makers for making abortion legal
  • My boyfriend for not fighting for our baby
  • Myself for thinking it was ok to tell my boyfriend we didn’t need birth control

Who do you need to forgive?

Forgiveness leads to freedom. It sets me free from holding others responsible for the wrongs they have done. By releasing them to God, they no longer have power over me. I choose to let go and to forgive them. This is not always easy, but it is critically important for my peace with God and others.

—Toni

Further reading on this topic:

Forgiveness

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