Cuando finalmente recibí su amor

por Toni Weisz/Herramientas de recuperación

Escrituras: Génesis 1:26, mateo 10:30, y 1 John 1: 2-3, 7-9,

As a small child, I did not learn to use my voice. En cambio, I hid in the background to keep under the radar. My home was chaotic and unsafe emotionally, and as a result, I became what people wanted me to be. I was labeled, “The good, quiet one.” I was fearful of rejection, so I became a people-pleaser. I believed the lie, “If I were perfect, I would be loved.” But that never worked. That’s when I started hiding and wearing a mask.

My need for love and acceptance caused me to hide parts of myself. I only showed the best parts of me so others would like me. This was not working for me, so I decided to rebel. Cuando yo estaba 12 años, I started sneaking Scotch Whiskey from my parents’ liquor cabinet; then drugs at 13, sex at 16, and my abortion at 21. Ahora, I was really hiding. I didn’t want my parents to find out. They were very strict with me being the oldest, and I didn’t want them to be angry or disappointed in me.

As I got older, my sins were more and more grievous, and my secrets became bigger and bigger. Entonces, I isolated even more and hid everything. My mask morphed as I got older. At this point, people-pleasing ruled my life. All I strove for were accolades from others and a place I could fit in and feel safe. But I would not find that for a very long time. Honestly, I lost my own identity because I wanted to fit in with others. I no longer knew what I liked or what I wanted to do because I became a chameleon and changed depending upon the group I was with. I had lost my own identity striving to please others. I so desperately wanted to be loved that I sought it from all the wrong places. I used people, and they used me. But I did not feel loved. I only felt even more alone.

I know many of you can relate to this. You did not experience a safe home environment where you were loved, cherished, or encouraged. En cambio, you experienced horrific abuse, neglect, and abandonment. My heart breaks when I hear your stories, the very people who should have loved you did the opposite. I know it broke God’s heart too, and He wept. He also knew all the unhealthy things you would do to numb yourself to escape from the pain. Decades of bad decisions and even more sorrow and heartbreak.

God created each and every one of us in His likeness and image (Árbitro. Génesis 1:26). He knows us intimately, and every hair on your head is numbered (Árbitro. mateo 10:30). He created us for fellowship with Him (Árbitro. 1 John 1:3). There is a hole in our hearts and a void in our souls that nothing else in this world can fill, except for a relationship with our Heavenly Father through His Son, Jesús.

Incluso después de que fui salvo, I struggled believing I was loved by God. I was still striving for approval from God and others. I had taken my character defects and my false beliefs and had added them to my Christianity. It was Jesus plus pleasing others and Jesus plus my good works. I believed in my head that Jesus loved me, but that truth had not made its way to my heart yet. I struggled to believe that He could forgive all my sins. The enemy lied to me and told me my sins were too great and God would not forgive me. That is a lie from the pit of Hell.

La Biblia dice, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

The blood of Jesus on the cross for us was sufficient to pay all of our sin debt. He was our propitiation, our substitute (Árbitro. 1 John 1:2). It is finished!

Slowly, God was revealing His truth to me, and I was replacing those lies from the devil with His truth from the Bible. I remember the day I received His love. I felt a lightness and a joy in my heart. I felt a quickening in my spirit. For the first time in my life, I felt loved completely for who I was. God’s love for me was not based upon anything I could do. He loved me because He created me and delighted in me. Jesus made a way for me to know the Father’s love.

Preguntas para tomar en serio:

1. Have you received the love of Jesus in your heart? If you have received His love, how did God reveal that to you? Please share.
2. If you have not yet received Jesus, are you fearful to trust God because of the trauma from your past?
3. What lies do/did you believe about yourself?
4. Cómo podemos orar por ti?

My prayer for you is that you will trust God and allow His love to fill the inner most part of your being, because when you do, you will never be the same. Gracias, Jesús. Por favor comuníquese si necesita hablar. Envíeme un correo electrónico a: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Eres amado,

Toni