El propósito de mi bebé

El propósito de mi bebé

El blog de Luci

Génesis 50:20: “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.”

II Peter 3:9: “The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”

Growing up in my dysfunctional family, which included neglect and sexual, physical, and verbal abuse, did not equip me to care for or respect myself as I grew in the way God intended for me. I spent many years allowing others, especially men, to use and take advantage of me for sexual purposes. En el momento en que estaba 15, I was deeply wounded and hurting. My way of coping was to act out in self-destructive ways. As I mentioned earlier, I allowed others to use me. I also drank daily and experimented with most drugs, including mind-altering substances.

I had no hope that anything in my life would improve but that it would just continue to get worse until I died. I was so angry at the way I had been treated by my father and brothers but didn’t understand how to break out of this pattern of destructive behavior.

A la edad de 24, I slept with a man whom I hardly knew. De hecho, I couldn’t even tell you his name. All I know was that he said all the right things that my heart longed to hear: that he cared for me, really wanted to be with me, and made me feel special, even if it was just for a brief time. He kept insisting that we have sex, and I resisted at first but then gave in when he said he had a vasectomy, since that meant he could not get me pregnant.

I was desperate for this man’s attention but certainly didn’t want to have a baby with him! But like most of the men I opened my life up to, he had lied to me and much to my dismay, I became pregnant. I was devastated and felt a sense of desperation as to how I would “fix” this predicament I was in. Of course, the guy who said he cared so much about me left the scene as soon as he got what he wanted.

I confided in a friend that had introduced me to him. I remember that she had a 9-year-old daughter and no husband, and it was clear that she resented her daughter greatly by the way she treated her. She told me to “Get rid of it; you don’t want a kid!” All I could think about was how I didn’t want to end up like this woman, mistreating my own child! Entonces, against my better judgement and my conscience that told me “NO, this is wrong,” I chose to abort the only child I would ever conceive.

I cried every night when no one was around to see my pain. I cried for myself because of how empty this act made me feel, but mostly for this innocent child whose life I had taken so violently. I cried unconsolably, every night for months. Not knowing my Lord Jesus Christ at that time, I had no one to turn to for forgiveness and healing. As I look back on this desperate act of selfishness, I realize this was the final self-destructive thing that drove me into the arms of God! I just couldn’t live with the emptiness and pain anymore. Nine months after my abortion, I surrendered my life to Jesus, asked forgiveness for my sins, and began to walk in the newness of life that He offers to all who come to Him in humility.

I want to read a section of the letter to the baby I named Gabriella, which means “God is My Strength”:

Although your earthly life was so short, you impacted mine for eternity because precisely nine months after I allowed that abortion clinic to strip you away from my womb, I was born again! And on that amazing day, my heart, soul, and spirit were transformed from darkness and condemnation into the forgiving and precious light of Jesus Christ and His Holy Spirit! God took our pain and ashes and turned them into eternal beauty!

I am pouring much of my life into other women who have experienced the pain and grief of abortion by helping them to acknowledge and heal from this event. I love you with all my heart, my precious little one, and I will see you soon!

Your forgiven Mom

 

What purpose did your unborn child serve in your life?

 

Did it move you towards God or away from Him?

 

Additional portions of letters to the unborn:

Amado, God knows your life was not a mistake. Your life spurred me to a deeper faith and a passion for Christ. God showed me grace, love, and healing in ways that I can’t describe. He used all these things for good (Rom 8:28). Your life allowed me to defend the defenseless, to value life in the womb, and to have compassion for the hurting moms who fell into the same trap as I did. God numbers our days and although yours were few, they continue to fuel my passion.

I, your mother, hold you in my arms today in a way I could not 10 years ago because I feared to look into your eyes and to hear God's voice speak through the gentle grasp of your fingers saying “choose life.” In the light of my mind, I now behold you, my first child—the first of three girls. Do you know that you have two sisters? Do you know that your life has given great meaning to their lives? Because of you, I cherish the very breath of life God has gifted me and those whom I hold close to my heart.

As I embrace you today and always, I let go of shame, guilt, humiliation, rejection, abandono, pride, and pain. I reject the lies that once kept your memory hidden in darkness far from the light of truth. My love, my beautiful baby girl, you were never forgotten.

Heaven has documented each moment of your existence in the book of life. Ahora, it is time for me to write your page into the story of my life.

In the years to come, when we find ourselves reunited in the spirit, I will delight in the unfolding of your unique personality woven together with the experience of your brief, yet significant life. For now, sweetheart, I entrust your care and protection to the Father, whose plans for you are greater than either you or I can imagine.

Te llamé José porque lo que el enemigo pretendía para el mal, Dios se volvió para mi bien y para su gloria.. He exchanged my ashes into something beautiful. José, Inspiraste un ministerio llamado My Ashes to Beauty para ayudar a otras mamás a recuperarse de sus abortos pasados..

 

Bendiciones,

Luces

 

 

De regreso Blogs de Luci

Te veré otra vez

Te veré otra vez

“Te veré otra vez, una carta a mi bebe”

Revelación 21:4-5a
“Y Dios enjugará toda lágrima de sus ojos; no habrá más muerte, ni pena, ni llorar. No habrá dolor, porque las cosas primeras han pasado”. Entonces el que estaba sentado en el trono dijo, “He aquí, yo hago nuevas todas las cosas”.

John 14:3
Y si voy y os preparo lugar, Volveré y os recibiré conmigo mismo.; que donde estoy, allí puede que también estés.

I Corintios 2:9
Pero como está escrito, “El ojo no ha visto ni el oído ha oído, ni han entrado en el corazón del hombre las cosas que Dios ha preparado para los que le aman”.

Mi carta a mi bebé

Querido José,

mi precioso niño, Te he amado toda mi vida adulta., y sin embargo, Nunca he visto tu cara ni te he tenido en mis brazos. por eso, Lo siento mucho. Fuiste un regalo de Dios, y te tiré. Lamento mucho haber acabado con tu vida.. Dios me mostró cómo te ves. Vi a un joven de unos 30 años en un avión., y tenia cabello castaño rizado y ojos azules. Sentí que mi espíritu se aceleraba. Le susurré al Señor, "¿Es así como se ve mi hijo?"?“Sentí la confirmación en mi espíritu..

Te llamé José porque lo que el enemigo pretendía para el mal, Dios se volvió para mi bien y para su gloria.. Cambió mis cenizas por algo hermoso.. José, Inspiraste un ministerio llamado My Ashes to Beauty para ayudar a otras mamás a recuperarse de sus abortos pasados..

Sé que estás en el cielo con Jesús, un lugar donde no hay tristeza., dolor, o tristeza. No puedo esperar el día en que pueda verte cara a cara en el cielo donde estaremos juntos para siempre.. He imaginado esa escena una y otra vez en mi mente.. Te veo saludándome en el cielo. Yo te conozco y tu me conoces. nos abrazamos. Con lágrimas de alegría corriendo por mis mejillas, me besas y te digo, “He esperado este momento durante tanto tiempo.. Ahora nunca más nos separaremos. Te amo, José”. tu respondes, "Te amo, Mamá." Entonces, Miraré a Jesús y le agradeceré por este precioso regalo de reunirme con mi hijo en el cielo y por el regalo de la salvación que me dio..

te veré pronto.

amor siempre,
Mamá

Mientras oraba por el tema de hoy, esta cancion llego a mi estacion, Cicatrices en el cielo, por Fundición de coronas. Aquí algunas de las letras (al cual le hice algunas modificaciones menores):

Ahora lo que daría por un día más contigo. José (el nombre de su hijo o hijos).
Porque hay una herida aquí en mi corazón donde falta algo. Y me dicen que con el tiempo sanará. Pero sé que estás en un lugar mejor donde estás sano y completo y yo también lo estaré..
Las únicas cicatrices en el cielo, No nos pertenecerán a mí ni a ti..
No habrá nada roto, y todo lo viejo será hecho nuevo. Y ese pensamiento me hace sonreír ahora, incluso cuando las lágrimas caen. ¿Es que las únicas cicatrices en el cielo están en las manos que te sostienen ahora?.

Preguntas para tomar en serio:
¿Cuáles son tus pensamientos cuando piensas en tu bebé? (o bebes)? ¿Qué te gustaría decirle a tu bebé? (o bebes)?

Puedes leer más cartas en nuestra web: https://myashestobeauty.com/a-letter-to-my-baby/

Rezo para que esto bendiga tu corazón..

Eres amado,

Toni

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Nuestra percepción de Dios y por qué es importante

Nuestra percepción de Dios y por qué es importante

colosenses 3:2
Pon tu mente en las cosas de arriba, no en las cosas de la tierra.

Romanos 12:1-2
No os conforméis a este mundo, sino transformaos mediante la renovación de vuestra mente., para que podáis comprobar cuál es esa buena, agradable y perfecta voluntad de Dios.

No recuerdo de dónde saqué esta cita pero tiene mucho sentido.. “La ciencia nos dice que los pensamientos repetitivos con el tiempo se convierten en surcos físicos en el cerebro que afectan el razonamiento., opciones, y eventualmente nuestras creencias”.

¿Cuál era tu percepción de Dios cuando eras niño??

¿Fue amable?, cariñoso, y accesible o frio, distante, y enojado?
Mi percepción de Dios cuando era niño era que Él era inaccesible y enojado y me castigaría por la más mínima ofensa., No era un Dios de amor sino de ira.. Crecí en una iglesia que veía castigo por la más mínima ofensa con gobernantes y regaños.. La gente allí era muy dura y crítica.. Y que Dios se trataba de seguir reglas. No vi el amor de Dios ahí.
Puedes leer mi Blog bajo pensamiento apestoso.: https://myashestobeauty.com/stinking-thinking-my-distorted-view-of-god/

¿Cómo te afectó eso mientras crecías??
Debido a mi visión distorsionada de Dios, cuando me encontré en malas situaciones, Decidí tomar el asunto en mis propias manos en lugar de preguntarle a Dios qué debía hacer.. No pensé que Él se preocupara por mí.. Estaba en tal oscuridad que no podía ver Su luz en absoluto.. Debido a las relaciones poco saludables que tenía con otras personas más cercanas a mí, que eran bastante manipuladoras y controladoras., No pensé que valía mucho para Dios ni para los demás.. Entonces, que importa lo que le haga a mi cuerpo, Mi bebé, u otras personas? Pero Dios aparecía de vez en cuando cuando sentía que Él estaba allí y estaba interesado en mi vida.. Pero no llegaría a conocerlo como mi Señor y Salvador hasta que fuera 34 años.

Efesios 3:16-19
que él te concedería, según las riquezas de su gloria, ser fortalecido con poder por Su Espíritu en el hombre interior; para que Cristo habite en vuestros corazones por la fe, que Tú, estar arraigado y cimentado en el amor, que puedas comprender con todos los santos cuál es la anchura, la longitud, la profundidad y la altura, para conocer el amor de Cristo que sobrepasa todo conocimiento.; para que seáis llenos de toda la plenitud de Dios.

¿Cómo ves a Dios ahora??
Ahora finalmente he recibido la hermosa obra redentora de Cristo en mi vida una vez que pude recibir Su amor en lo más interno de mi ser., esa verdad me cambio para siempre. Incluso después de que fui salvo, Permití que la gente abusara de mí y me usara porque no tenía límites., y porque no me amaba, los demás tampoco me trataron con amor y respeto. Pero una vez que su amor impregnó mi corazón, Tuve coraje para poner límites y comencé a cuidarme y amarme.. Fue lo más liberador y hermoso que he experimentado., conocer el amor de Dios por mí mismo. Sentir y saber en mi corazón., que no importa lo que haya hecho en el pasado él me ama.

¿Cómo te ve??
Estoy agradecido por la verdad de la palabra de Dios de que cada persona es creada a Su imagen y se le da un valor intrínseco y es creada con un propósito para Su reino.. Ya no estoy atado a Satanás y al pecado, sino que soy adoptado en la familia de Dios.; Soy hija del Rey de la Gloria. Él me amó tanto que murió por mí en la cruz.. Su amor es tan profundo, y ancho, y alto que no puedo comprenderlo, pero creo en mi corazón que soy apreciado y amado por Dios. Y estaré con Él para siempre en el cielo por toda la eternidad.. en julio de 2017 estábamos teniendo a mi familia extendida en la ciudad, mi hermana y mi hermano y sus familias. Como resultado, Empecé a sentirme ansiosa y comencé a sentirme rechazada por todos ellos., porque ves que aún no conocen al Señor, así que ya no soy parte de su familia. El rechazo fue una herida enorme para mí y puedo llegar allí muy rápidamente si no estoy cimentado en la Palabra.. Para combatir mi herida de rechazo, Dios me hizo escribir verdades bíblicas específicas sobre, “Quien soy yo en Cristo," dice así:

quien soy en cristo

Soy digno
soy amado
pertenezco
Soy aceptado
soy adoptado
Tengo confianza y soy competente.
soy un niño de Dios
Tengo el Espíritu Santo dentro de mí.
Soy victorioso en Cristo
tengo un hogar en el cielo
Nada podrá separarme del amor de Dios en Cristo Jesús mi Señor
no temeré ningún mal

Estoy muy orgulloso de ti por tener el coraje de dar un paso adelante y confiar en que Dios te sanará..

Estás a salvo su amada hermana..

Eres amado,
Toni

Salmo 147:3
Él sana a los que tienen el corazón roto y venda sus heridas. (NKJV)

Toni y el equipo en myashestobeauty.com

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¿Permitirás que Jesús te sane??

¿Permitirás que Jesús te sane??

Aautobús Recovery Sapoyo GRAMOgrupo (ARSG)

¿Permitirás que Jesús te sane??

Él sana a los que tienen el corazón roto y venda sus heridas. Salmo 147:3 NKJV

Only Jesus knows what it feels like to be verbally and physically abused, mocked and spit on, and publicly humiliated as He hung on the cross naked and beaten and rejected by His closest friends. I believe only Jesus can heal us physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally from all the forms of abuse and trauma we have experienced in our lives. In Isaiah 53:5, the Bible says, “But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, y by His stripes we are healed."

Thank you for joining our first support group meeting on abuse. We will be covering all kinds of abuse from emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual. We want to give each of you an opportunity to share your stories and your hearts in a safe and loving environment so that the healing journey you started will continue. One thing I have learned through the abortion recovery ministry is that we need a community of women who have experienced the same things we have, in order for us to open up and be vulnerable. God is providing you with a group of sisters who love Jesus and each other, and who are courageous and committed to this healing journey. They are willing to do the work necessary to reach the next level in their healing as they grow closer to God in the process. They no longer want to settle for barely existing. No, they want more. They want the abundant life that Jesus died to give them.

In my home of origin, I never developed a voice because of the chaos and unpredictable home environment I grew up in. From an early age, I believed I had the power to make someone happy or angry by my behavior. That was a lie from the pit of hell, but I would not discover that truth until I got into ACA recovery work in 2010-2015. I have no such control, but this lie lead me down a path of people-pleasing that opened me up to all kinds of harsh treatment and abuse by others who would use and manipulate me. I enabled this behavior because of my need for love and acceptance. I did not understand codependency, emotional and verbal abuse, and how it was having an effect on me and the choices I would make in my life. I thought this was normal; it was my normal but, God knows it wasn’t His plan for the family.

I started rebelling at the age of 12, drinking Scotch Whiskey from my parent’s liquor cabinet, getting high at 13 and having sex at 16 and then, my abortion at 21. I struggled with depression as a teenager, and when I got drunk, I acted out and kicked out a window in my college dorm. I punched walls and was so filled with rage and hatred towards myself. Después de mi aborto, these unhealthy coping mechanisms just increased in intensity. My abortion was the nail in my coffin. That act plunged me headlong into the dark pit of despair and suicidal thoughts. I just wanted to end this torment of a life; I did not see a way out.

Then one glorious day, I met Jesus and He forgave all my sins, and He began healing my broken body, soul and mind. It’s been twenty-seven years, and He is still healing and loving me. And it has been a beautiful journey.

What was your home of origin like?

How did that affect your decision making?

Did you make healthy decisions or ones based out of fear?

Have you received help in this area to stop this unhealthy cycle in your life?

The Aautobús Recovery Sapoyo GRAMOgrupo (ARSG) meets on the 2nd and 4th Sundays of every month, en 4:15 PM EST. More information regarding the Sunday calls is found on this page, Trauma de abuso sexual.

Por favor contacta, email us at arwsg4u2@gmail.com, we can help you heal from your past trauma with our loving and caring support group, the Word of God, the Holy Spirit, prayer, and accountability.

Eres amado,
Toni

 

 

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Viernes Santo: Su vida por la nuestra

Viernes Santo: Su vida por la nuestra

Greater Love hath no man than this that a man lay down His life for his friends. John 15:13

Lucas 23:44-46 Now it was the sixth hour (noon) and there was darkness over all the earth until the ninth hour (3 PM). Then the sun was darkened, and the veil of the Temple was torn in two. And when Jesus cried out with a loud voice, “Father, into Your hands I commit My spirit.” Having said this, He breathed His last breath.

Mark 15:34 And at the ninth hour (3PM) Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? Which is being interpreted, My God, Dios mío, why hast thou forsaken me?

I want us to reflect on the sacrifice that Jesus made on the cross for each one of us. We will never know the immense pain He experienced not only physically but spiritually. On the hours that Jesus hung on the cross from 12 noon to 3 PM the whole earth was darkened, and so was the sun. God had forsaken His only Son when He bore all the sins of the world on His body. Jesus cries out, “My God, Dios mío, why hast thou forsaken me?” The word forsake in the Merriam-Webster dictionary means to renounce or turn away from entirely. Holy God darkened the earth for 3 hours because He could not look upon Jesus when He bore our sins upon Himself. The Bible says that Jesus became sin for us, who knew no sin. I read a commentary that said God caused the darkness so humans could not look upon Jesus and see the turmoil and agony that He went through on our behalf. It was a sacred sacrifice that only the Father could see. This was His perfect Lamb of God who was sacrificed for the sins of the whole world.

At the same time the veil in the Temple, between the Holy of Holies, was torn from top to bottom. The very hand of God tore the veil, giving us access to God through Jesus His Son. Jesus was the new and living way for us to go to God, we no longer had to go through a Priest to make atonement for our sins. Jesus paid for our sins so we could have free access to the Father by Him. This gives us, you and me, access to God anytime day or night, that we need Him. That is so comforting to know.

Now think of all the sins you have ever committed, they are too numerous to count, yet all of them have been covered by Jesus’ shed blood on the cross, if you have received the gift of salvation through Jesus’ death on the cross for your sins. If you are born again, the Bible says you are a new creation in Christ, old things are passed away behold all things become new. (2nd Corintios 5:17)

It is good Lord, to be reminded of the miraculous work you did in me when I became born-again. Thank you for forgiving all my sins, my rebellious actions, my drunkenness, drug usage, fornication, my abortion, my lying, stealing, my pride and my idol worship. All these I lay at your feet Jesus. I no longer have to carry these sins on my back. You have exchanged my sins for your righteousness. I am so grateful to you Lord, the day you had mercy on this broken woman and opened my eyes to see that what I was doing was not working and I needed you in my life. I surrendered my will and my life to you and confessed my sins and asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. It was the most beautiful day of my life, Febrero 6, 1994. A day I will always cherish.

Preguntas:

What is the Holy Spirit bringing to your mind right now?

Primero, Are you born-again? Have you put your faith and trust in Jesus as your Lord and Savior? Have you asked Him to forgive all your sins?

Even after we are saved, we need to confess our sins daily to God. Is there anything the Lord is putting on your heart that you need to confess publicly?

What are you most grateful to God For?

I pray the Lord will bless you as you seek His wisdom and discernment in your life.

 

Eres amado,
Toni

 

 

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