Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace

par Toni Weisz/Abuse Recovery
Éphésiens 4:29-32 et les chiffres 6:24-26

Éphésiens 4:29-32
Ne laissez aucune communication corrompue sortir de votre bouche, mais ce qui est bon pour l'édification nécessaire, qu'il puisse donner la grâce aux auditeurs. Et n'attristez pas le Saint-Esprit de Dieu, par qui tu as été scellé pour le jour de la rédemption. Laisse toute amertume, colère, colère, clameur, et que les mauvaises paroles soient éloignées de toi, de toute malveillance. Et soyez gentils les uns envers les autres, tendre, se pardonner les uns les autres, comme Dieu pour Christ t'a pardonné.

Dans le Moody Manuel de Théologie, Paul Enns defines God’s grace as the unmerited or undeserving favor of God to those who are under condemnation. I did not grow up in a home where grace was displayed instead of harsh punishment. En tant qu'enfant, this caused me to be fearful and to hide.

I went to a church that was big and dark inside, and they spoke in a foreign language. L'école associée à cette église était à peu près la même. Des étudiants ont été frappés par des dirigeants lorsqu'ils ont désobéi. Parce que je n'ai pas vu la grâce et l'amour dans ces lieux de formation, I believed God was harsh and angry and ready to hit me when I got out of line. J'ai commencé à croire que ma foi en Dieu était basée sur mes bonnes œuvres, e.g., If I am good, Je serai aimé et accepté, mais si je désobéis, je serai sévèrement puni. C'est peut-être l'une des raisons pour lesquelles je n'ai pas couru vers Dieu quand j'étais 21, célibataire, et enceinte. J'avais peur que lui aussi me juge durement et me punisse sévèrement.

Au cours de ma vie d'adulte, J'ai de nouveau rencontré un environnement d'église difficile. My husband and I and our family started attending a legalistic church for several years where it was all about following the rules with no room for grace. Le Saint-Esprit en moi était si attristé que je pouvais à peine sentir ou sentir sa présence.

D'abord, je ne l'ai pas reconnu, mais je subissais des abus spirituels. Toutefois, Je voulais servir Jésus. If that meant wearing dresses 24/7 and obeying ridiculous rules, alors c'est ce que je ferais. This spiritual oppression greatly affected my soul, and I felt like I was slowly dying inside. Malheureusement, mes enfants (qui étaient au lycée à l'époque) ont également été soumis à cet abus spirituel. J'étais si reconnaissant quand nous nous sommes finalement éloignés de cet environnement toxique.

De la même manière, I have experienced harsh treatment from another ministry leader as well. J'avais l'impression de ne jamais pouvoir rien faire de bien et j'étais toujours sous un microscope. Chaque petite chose que j'ai faite a été amplifiée et transformée en un exemple public. I was so embarrassed and felt discouraged. But God called me to the abortion recovery ministry, and I was not going to stop until God told me to.

Then one day, God brought a leader into my life who was kind and gentle. Elle m'a donné la permission d'être simplement moi et a favorisé un environnement sûr dans lequel je pouvais m'ouvrir et partager les abus émotionnels et spirituels que je subissais.. I trusted her, and she truly encouraged me. C'était tellement rafraîchissant d'avoir un chef doux et gentil, tout comme Jésus.

Dans notre ministère, nous voulons que chaque femme se sente en sécurité et sache qu'elle peut partager son histoire sans jugement. Nous l'encourageons à utiliser sa voix, peut-être pour la première fois de sa vie. Nous voulons qu'elle voie l'amour de Jésus dans nos paroles et nos actions. God wants our words to speak hope and life into the lives of the women He brings to our ministry, and that is what we will always try to do.

Dieu nous a donné son cœur pour ces femmes courageuses. Nous sommes honorés de marcher à leurs côtés dans leurs parcours de guérison. Toi aussi tu es le bienvenu ici, femme courageuse. Viens comme tu es; nous t'attendons.

Réflexions finales
What is grace? La grâce est un don de Dieu; ça ne se gagne pas.

Grace is overlooking someone else’s faults and loving them where they are.

Je suis tellement reconnaissant pour l'amour et la grâce écrasants de Dieu dans ma vie. Cette grâce m'oblige à aimer les autres, étendre la miséricorde, et d'être gentil avec tout le monde. Cette grâce m'humilie quand je pense à ce que Jésus a fait pour moi sur la croix... un cadeau que je ne pourrai jamais rembourser.

Numéro 6:24-26
« Que le Seigneur vous bénisse et vous garde; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace.”

 

Questions de réflexion:

  1. Do you judge yourself or others harshly?
  2. Do others treat you harshly?
  3. Avez-vous reçu la grâce de Dieu?
  4. Are you able to extend God’s grace to others?
  5. Comment pouvons-nous prier pour vous?

Veuillez nous contacter si vous avez besoin de parler. You can email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Tu es aimé,
Toni

 

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Le courage de Marie

Le courage de Marie

Le courage de Marie

Par Toni Weisz/Disciplines spirituelles

Écritures: Luc 1:26-38, 1 John 1:9. Deutéronome 22:20-21, et les romains 8:28

Dans le livre de Luc, nous lisons à propos d'une adolescente incroyablement courageuse nommée Mary. Mary était un nom commun à l'époque; cela signifiait amer. Le peuple était amer parce que les prophètes se sont tus pendant 400 années. Il n'y a pas eu de révélation du tout entre l'Ancien Testament et le Nouveau Testament pendant tout ce temps. Ils se sont sentis amers parce qu'ils pensaient que Dieu les avait oubliés et Sa promesse de leur Messie.

On voit cet incroyable dialogue entre Marie et l'ange Gabriel. Il lui a dit, “Rejoice, highly favored one, le seigneur est avec toi; bénie es-tu entre les femmes! N'ayez pas peur, Marie, car tu as trouvé grâce auprès de Dieu. Il se mit à lui dire qu'elle concevrait et enfanterait un fils et appellera son nom Jésus. Dieu a puissamment utilisé cette jeune femme pour enfanter le Messie promis, Emmanuel—Dieu avec nous. Au lieu de fuir sa situation ou de paniquer, elle a prié et recherché la conduite du Seigneur. Why didn’t we trust God when we found ourselves with an unplanned pregnancy? Si vous Lui avez confessé ce péché, Il t'a pardonné. 1 John 1:9: « Si nous confessons nos péchés, Il est fidèle et juste pour nous pardonner notre péchés et pour nous purifier de toute iniquité ».

Mary aurait pu être lapidée parce qu'elle était enceinte hors mariage parce que c'était la loi à l'époque. Deutéronome 22:20–21 parle des lois relatives aux péchés sexuels. Non seulement Mary aurait pu être lapidée, mais Joseph, son mari, aurait pu abandonner la relation en rédigeant une lettre de divorce parce qu'ils étaient légalement fiancés l'un à l'autre. Mais Dieu a protégé Marie de ces deux conséquences parce qu'elle avait ne pas péché. Elle a été fécondée surnaturellement par le Saint-Esprit de Dieu. Elle était si courageuse et courageuse. Elle a risqué sa vie et sa réputation pour obéir à Dieu. Quel beau témoignage nous voyons dans sa vie.

Cette semaine sera 44 ans depuis que j'ai avorté mon fils, Joseph, en décembre 10, 1980. J'aimerais avoir le courage comme Mary d'avoir mon bébé, mais j'ai laissé la peur de l'homme me pousser à avorter mon bébé. Je ne peux pas changer mon passé, mais je peux apprendre de mes erreurs.

Dieu a utilisé mon avortement pour me mettre dans une relation avec Jésus. À présent, J'ai l'insigne honneur de marcher avec vous tous dans vos voyages de guérison. Dieu a certainement pris mes cendres, mes horribles péchés, et les a transformés en quelque chose de beau pour mon bien et sa gloire, et vous en faites tous partie. Je crois que Dieu fait que toutes choses concourent au bien de ceux qui l'aiment, à ceux qui sont appelés selon son dessein (Ref. Romains 8:28). Dieu, par l'oeuvre du Saint-Esprit, nous sanctifie continuellement et nous conforme à l'image de Jésus. Vous êtes tous si précieux pour lui; J'espère que vous le savez.

Des questions à prendre à cœur:

  1. Combien de temps s'est-il écoulé depuis votre dernier avortement ?(s)?
  2. T'accroches-tu toujours à ton secret de l'avortement(s)?
  3. Avez-vous permis à Dieu d'accéder à tous vos endroits brisés afin qu'il puisse vous guérir? Sinon, faites-lui confiance aujourd'hui. Il veut que tu sois guérie et entière afin que tu puisses devenir la femme qu'il a créée pour que tu sois.
  4. Comment pouvons-nous prier pour vous?

Je prie ce sujet qui vous a été utile. Please reach out if you need to talk or need prayer: toni@myashestobeauty.com. I wish you a very blessed Christmas. God is still performing miracles today.

Tu es aimé,
Toni

 

Audio de "Le Courage de Marie" article de blog

Mary, Did You Know video

"Marie, Le saviez-vous?"

(Avec Chandler Moore & Lizzie Morgan)

Musique de la ville non-conformiste

 

Cliquez ici pour le clip
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Le but de mon bébé

Le but de mon bébé

Le blog de Lucie

Genèse 50:20: “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.”

II Peter 3:9: “The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”

Growing up in my dysfunctional family, which included neglect and sexual, physical, and verbal abuse, did not equip me to care for or respect myself as I grew in the way God intended for me. I spent many years allowing others, especially men, to use and take advantage of me for sexual purposes. Au moment où j'étais 15, I was deeply wounded and hurting. My way of coping was to act out in self-destructive ways. As I mentioned earlier, I allowed others to use me. I also drank daily and experimented with most drugs, including mind-altering substances.

I had no hope that anything in my life would improve but that it would just continue to get worse until I died. I was so angry at the way I had been treated by my father and brothers but didn’t understand how to break out of this pattern of destructive behavior.

At the age of 24, I slept with a man whom I hardly knew. En fait, I couldn’t even tell you his name. All I know was that he said all the right things that my heart longed to hear: that he cared for me, really wanted to be with me, and made me feel special, even if it was just for a brief time. He kept insisting that we have sex, and I resisted at first but then gave in when he said he had a vasectomy, since that meant he could not get me pregnant.

I was desperate for this man’s attention but certainly didn’t want to have a baby with him! But like most of the men I opened my life up to, he had lied to me and much to my dismay, I became pregnant. I was devastated and felt a sense of desperation as to how I would “fix” this predicament I was in. Of course, the guy who said he cared so much about me left the scene as soon as he got what he wanted.

I confided in a friend that had introduced me to him. I remember that she had a 9-year-old daughter and no husband, and it was clear that she resented her daughter greatly by the way she treated her. She told me to “Get rid of it; you don’t want a kid!” All I could think about was how I didn’t want to end up like this woman, mistreating my own child! Alors, against my better judgement and my conscience that told me “NO, this is wrong,” I chose to abort the only child I would ever conceive.

I cried every night when no one was around to see my pain. I cried for myself because of how empty this act made me feel, but mostly for this innocent child whose life I had taken so violently. I cried unconsolably, every night for months. Not knowing my Lord Jesus Christ at that time, I had no one to turn to for forgiveness and healing. As I look back on this desperate act of selfishness, I realize this was the final self-destructive thing that drove me into the arms of God! I just couldn’t live with the emptiness and pain anymore. Nine months after my abortion, J'ai abandonné ma vie à Jésus, asked forgiveness for my sins, and began to walk in the newness of life that He offers to all who come to Him in humility.

I want to read a section of the letter to the baby I named Gabriella, which means “God is My Strength”:

Although your earthly life was so short, you impacted mine for eternity because precisely nine months after I allowed that abortion clinic to strip you away from my womb, je suis né de nouveau! And on that amazing day, my heart, soul, and spirit were transformed from darkness and condemnation into the forgiving and precious light of Jesus Christ and His Holy Spirit! God took our pain and ashes and turned them into eternal beauty!

I am pouring much of my life into other women who have experienced the pain and grief of abortion by helping them to acknowledge and heal from this event. I love you with all my heart, my precious little one, and I will see you soon!

Your forgiven Mom

 

What purpose did your unborn child serve in your life?

 

Did it move you towards God or away from Him?

 

Additional portions of letters to the unborn:

Bien-aimé, God knows your life was not a mistake. Your life spurred me to a deeper faith and a passion for Christ. God showed me grace, love, and healing in ways that I can’t describe. He used all these things for good (Rom 8:28). Your life allowed me to defend the defenseless, to value life in the womb, and to have compassion for the hurting moms who fell into the same trap as I did. God numbers our days and although yours were few, they continue to fuel my passion.

I, your mother, hold you in my arms today in a way I could not 10 years ago because I feared to look into your eyes and to hear God's voice speak through the gentle grasp of your fingers saying "choose life.” In the light of my mind, I now behold you, my first child—the first of three girls. Do you know that you have two sisters? Do you know that your life has given great meaning to their lives? Because of you, I cherish the very breath of life God has gifted me and those whom I hold close to my heart.

As I embrace you today and always, I let go of shame, culpabilité, humiliation, rejection, abandon, pride, and pain. I reject the lies that once kept your memory hidden in darkness far from the light of truth. My love, my beautiful baby girl, you were never forgotten.

Heaven has documented each moment of your existence in the book of life. À présent, it is time for me to write your page into the story of my life.

In the years to come, when we find ourselves reunited in the spirit, I will delight in the unfolding of your unique personality woven together with the experience of your brief, yet significant life. For now, sweetheart, I entrust your care and protection to the Father, whose plans for you are greater than either you or I can imagine.

I named you Joseph because what the enemy meant for evil, God turned around for my good and for His glory. He exchanged my ashes into something beautiful. Joseph, you inspired a ministry called My Ashes to Beauty to help other moms heal from their past abortions.

 

Bénédictions,

Lumières

 

 

Retour à Les blogs de Luci

Je te reverrai

Je te reverrai

“Je te reverrai, une lettre à mon bébé”

Révélation 21:4-5un
“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; il n'y aura plus de mort, ni chagrin, ni pleurer. Il n'y aura pas de douleur, for the former things have passed away.” Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold I make all things new.”

John 14:3
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there you may be also.

I Corinthians 2:9
But as it is written, “Eye has not seen nor ear heard, nor have entered in the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”

My Letter to My Baby

Dear Joseph,

My precious child, I have loved you all of my adult life, and yet, I have never seen your face or held you in my arms. For that, I am very sorry. You were a gift from God, and I threw you away. I am so sorry for ending your life. God showed me what you look like. I saw a young man in his 30s on an airplane, and he had brown curly hair and blue eyes. I felt my spirit quicken. I whispered to the Lord, “Is that what my son looks like?” I felt the confirmation in my spirit.

I named you Joseph because what the enemy meant for evil, God turned around for my good and for His glory. He exchanged my ashes for something beautiful. Joseph, you inspired a ministry called My Ashes to Beauty to help other moms heal from their past abortions.

I know you are in heaven with Jesus—a place where there is no sadness, douleur, or sorrow. I can’t wait for the day that I can see you face to face in heaven where we will be together forever. I have pictured that scene over and over in my mind. I see you greeting me in heaven. I know you and you know me. We hug. With tears of joy streaming down my cheeks, you kiss me and I say, “I have waited for this moment for so long. Now we will never be parted again. I love you, Joseph.” You respond, “I love you, Mom.” Then, I will look to Jesus and thank Him for this precious gift of being reunited with my child in heaven and for the gift of salvation He gave me.

I will see you soon.

Love always,
Mom

As I was praying about the topic for today, this song came on my station, Scars in Heaven, by Casting Crowns. Here are some of the lyrics (to which I made some minor modifications):

Now what I would give for one more day with you Joseph (your child or children’s names).
Cause there’s a wound here in my heart where something’s missing. And they tell me that it’s gonna heal with time. But I know you’re in a better place where you are healed and whole and I will be too.
The only scars in heaven, they won’t belong to me and you.
There’ll be no such thing as broken, and all the old will be made new. And that thought makes me smile now, even as tears fall down. Is that the only scars in heaven are on the hands that hold you now.

Questions to Take to Heart:
What are your thoughts when you think about your baby (or babies)? What would you like to say to your baby (or babies)?

You can read more letters on our website: https://myashestobeauty.com/a-letter-to-my-baby/

I pray this blesses your heart.

Tu es aimé,

Toni

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Mes mécanismes d'adaptation malsains

Mes mécanismes d'adaptation malsains

UNEautobus Rrécupération Ssoutien ggroupe (ARSG)

Mes mécanismes d'adaptation malsains

Coping mechanisms are defined as techniques we use to help us cope with the stress, douleur, and trauma we have experienced in our lives.

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms:

Avoidance and Isolation

Drugs and Alcohol

Denial

Occupé

Rationalization

Contrôle

From my childhood I learned évitement et isolement pour me protéger des personnes ou des situations malsaines. Running and hiding is what I learned as a small child and I still used those tactics as an adult. Until I got into recovery and learned new healthy coping mechanisms. Louons Dieu! Instead of avoidance God gave me a voice and I learned to communicate my likes and dislikes. I never developed a voice growing up but once I put up boundaries, utiliser ma voix était nécessaire pour communiquer ces limites aux autres. Au fur et à mesure que le temps passait, Je me sentais plus à l'aise de partager mon cœur avec les autres sans craindre le rejet. Dieu m'a aussi dit d'arrêter de courir et de me cacher et de lui laisser le résultat..

Just recently I was triggered by a situation and my first response was to run away and to disconnect from this person. I see now that was a wrong response. I had to pray very hard for the Lord to help me in this area. We all have things from our past trauma that causes us to go back to our old ways of dealing with things, especially when we are weak, or vulnerable, or HALT (Affamé, En colère, Solitaire ou fatigué). I am grateful for God showing me that by having healthy boundaries and by using my voice is the best way to live a life that is peaceful and pleasing to Him.

I started using alcohol and drugs à 12 years old when I was not getting the healthy attention I needed at home. I decided to start taking matters into my own hands, which was a defining moment in my life because as a result of that choice I would run to other things other than God when I was hurting. I just wanted a quick fix to avoid the pain I had accumulated all my life. I used people and allowed them to use me. My life was filled with regret, fear of rejection, depression, suicidal thoughts and self-hatred. I thank God for having mercy on this broken woman, who saved me from myself destructive lifestyle. I now run to Jesus to take my pain away.

j'étais dedans le déni about the dysfunction in my home of origin and my home with my husband and children, for many years until I realized I cannot control another person and doing anything out of fear never has a good outcome. I don’t have the power to change another person only God does. Alors, I relinquish control to God to change others or situations when I feel powerless. I was in denial due to my fear of rejection from my parents and spouse so I obeyed ridiculous rules to be accepted and loved by others, but that never worked. When I finally received the love of Jesus in heart then I had the courage to stand on my own without fear of rejection because I knew God would never leave me or forsake me.

Occupé was a tool the enemy used on me for decades, his purpose was to keep me so busy that I would not have time to recognize my dysfunctional life. My striving for love and acceptance even from God, kept me working so hard to be worthy, I never stopped long enough to evaluate my life, my choices, my relationships, my unhealthy view of myself, Dieu, et d'autres. I was so messed up, but I could not see that, until God showed me my ways were not working. Back in 2010 I was so depressed I asked God to take me home because I just wanted to die. And He said, “Do you believe I can turn things around for your good?” and I said, “Yes Lord I believe that.” He said, “TRUST ME.” After that I got in ACA recovery work and inner healing group for 5 années. God was exposing the lies, with His truth, I was learning about boundaries and what that looks like and he showed me that I was enabling abuse from others by not using my voice. God had me stop from all serving at church and First Care, because I was that sick and needed God to intervene to heal me. God was so faithful and put the right people in my path and I was healed and set free from all the dysfunction in my life and I started experiencing true peace and freedom in Christ. In Jan 2013 I started this ministry. Praise Him!!! Merci, Jésus.

I rationalisé my abuse, thinking I must not be a person of value or else others would treat me differently. After my abortion, the enemy told me I deserve to be abused because of my decision to abort my child. My husband was very controlling and I and the children were required to obey ridiculous rules. I rationalized in my head if I don’t obey these rules, he will leave me. The enemy used that lie for decades to keep me in bondage and in a very unhealthy home environment. I am thankful for the day I had courage to say no, I am not going to follow these rules and leave the outcome in God’s hands. I was no longer fearful of him leaving, I trusted God to take care of me and He has. My relationship with my husband now is better than it ever has been. I now know that I am loved and valued by God and He doesn’t want me to accept abusive treatment from anyone; I don’t deserve to be abused regardless of my poor choices in the past. He loves me and wants me to use my voice to put up healthy boundaries and to protect myself from unhealthy people and situations. Je ne peux pas changer mon passé, all I can do is learn from it and share my experience, strength, and hope with others so perhaps they can make healthy choices.

Contrôle was a tool I learned to use when I was very young. I honestly believed I could control how others feel, what they do, and that I could control the outcome. That all was a lie. Je n'avais aucun contrôle sur aucune de ces choses. Areas I tried to control were how people reacted and behaved toward me. I tried to control what others saw in me by wearing a mask and I also tried to control how much I weighed by taking speed, diet pills, and purging after I ate too much. God showed me by relinquishing control to Him that I can be set free from these obsessions and torment. He taught me to love myself just the way I am and to relinquish all control to Him, because He will never harm me.

I am so grateful that today I have been set free from all my unhealthy coping mechanisms and I have learned new skills to help me cope with the pain and trauma from my past. J'ai dû complètement abandonner tout et tout le monde à Dieu. Je ne me souciais plus de ce que les autres pensaient de moi, Je n'ai pas obéi à des règles ridicules par peur d'être rejeté, I now had a voice and God has taught me how to use it to express my feelings in a healthy godly way. Je ne suis plus esclave de mes anciennes pensées et de mes anciens comportements..

Dans les Romains 12:2 the Bible says do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…. Daily time spent with God in His Word and listening to the Holy Spirit has helped me to move out of the chaos, dysfunction, and misery into a peaceful, orderly, and fulfilling life.

What have you used to help you cope with the trauma from your past?

What are some healthy ways you use to cope with things now?

Tu es aimé,

Toni

 

 

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