Cómo superar el trauma

Cómo superar el trauma

Cómo superar el trauma
By Toni Weisz/Abuse Recovery

Referencias de las Escrituras: Salmo 147:3, Salmo 27:10, Salmo 100:5

“Trauma can be more than a dark pit of despair or a spiral of depression. It has the potential to be our deepest source of empathy, strongest point of connection, and most forceful impetus (stimulus) for growth if we bravely choose to let others into both the brokenness and the mending. My brokenness becomes beautiful when I see trauma as an opportunity to grow.” (Excerpt taken from the devotional, Suffer Strong: How to Survive Anything by Redefining Everything, by Katherine and Jay Wolf.)

Salmo 147:3
He heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds.

Salmo 27:10
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

Salmo 100:5
For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations.

It takes courage to face the trauma from our past. This is not an easy process. De hecho, it is quite painful at times, and it is not for the faint of heart. That’s why many people don’t do it. They would rather live in their dysfunction because they know what to expect—it’s familiar.

Change can be hard, scary, and unpredictable. But it can also be beautiful, especially when we are able to come out on the other side of our pain and see the miraculous work God has done.

When I first started this ministry, the Lord encouraged me to be real.

When I am open and transparent with all of you, it gives you permission to share from your heart too. I have experienced tremendous healing as a result of doing these conference calls for the past 11 años. The work of the Holy Spirit, self-examination, and a safe community in which to share are the most important elements for true healing and the ability to break dysfunctional patterns and spiritual strongholds. This group gives me the courage to keep stepping out.

You’re only as sick as your secrets.

When I share my secrets in a safe and loving environment, it helps me to begin the healing process. It brings that secret thing into the light, and the devil no longer has power over me in that area. I am praying that each of you experience true healing in all of your broken areas. You are safe on our conference calls, dearly beloved of the Lord. What secrets are you still hiding?

I also needed to practice what I preached.

If I was telling you to stand up to the bully and use your voice, then I needed to do the same thing. This group has helped me to stay accountable and move forward in my own healing journey.

Say what you mean, but don’t say it mean.

God has shown me how to stay calm, to allow the other person to speak, and try to stay on topic. Then when it’s my turn, I share my perspective but in a way that honors God.

I apologize when I need to, but I don’t allow others to just dump on me or yell at me. I walk away or hang up because that’s not an acceptable way to communicate. I don’t allow others to be verbally abusive to me. By sharing with you, it also helped me to practice those same principles in my life.

God showed me He wanted to be first in my life.

Once I put God first in my life, then what others thought of me didn’t matter so much anymore. I was trying to please them so they would love me, but that never worked anyway. It only left me feeling empty, no amado, and depleted of my energy. I realized I could never make someone happy or sad; I didn’t have that kind of power. Only God can love me completely. Entonces, I go to God when I need something because most people are not able to give me what I need anyway.

They cannot give what they don’t have.

Only Jesus can meet all my needs. Jesus is the answer to every situation or problem I have. When I go to Him and ask Him to help me, to show me what’s going on and why I am struggling the way I am, He gives me wisdom and shows me what I need to do.

Preguntas:

  1. What burdens are you carrying right now? Is it health, finances, loneliness, relationships, loss, sadness, or something else?
  2. Are you able to share how you are feeling right now?
  3. Cómo podemos orar por ti?

Remember: When your father and your mother forsake you, then the LORD will take you up. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations. He binds up the brokenhearted and heals all of your wounds.

Please reach out if you need prayer or just want to talk. Envíeme un correo electrónico a: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Eres amado,

Toni

 

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¿Cuáles son tus desencadenantes??

¿Cuáles son tus desencadenantes??

¿Cuáles son tus desencadenantes??
por Toni Weisz/Herramientas de recuperación

Referencias de las Escrituras: Salmo 91:2–4, Salmo 17:8, Salmo 37:40, Jeremías 29:11, Salmo 147:3, Romanos 8:37 and Zephaniah 3:17

 

What are triggers?

A trigger is an impulse that prompts a negative reaction caused by another’s words, actions or a specific situation, especially for those who have experienced trauma from abuse, adiccion, and/or abortion.

 

I suffered from depression since I was a teenager and started going to secular counselors when I was 17 años. It took me a long time to figure out where this depression came from.

What triggered it?

I noticed a pattern. When there was a special occasion, like my birthday, Christmas, college graduation, or moving back to NJ after being away for 10 años, I had certain expectations that I would be celebrated in a certain way with gifts and parties. When those expectations were not met, then I felt unloved and insignificant.

When things did not go as I had hoped, I would fall into a very deep depression that would last weeks at a time. This happened to me until I was 34 años.

I was codependent, and I was triggered by the actions and words of others so much that they determined my outlook on life and how I felt about myself. It was a vicious cycle that lasted many decades.

In my home of origin, we never discussed or worked through hard things. People just yelled or gave you the silent treatment. There was never any resolution. No forgiveness, no grace, no healthy communication. It has taken me many years of hard work to learn how to communicate properly and how to put up healthy boundaries.

I am so grateful for my relationship with Jesus, my Savior. He is my Rock, my Fortress, my Deliverer, my High Tower, my Friend. He is my only hope. He will bind up all my wounds and heal my broken heart. I know what He thinks of me. I am the apple of His eye. He rejoices over me with gladness. He quiets me with His love, and He rejoices over me with singing. He is very pleased with me.

I am forgiven, redeemed, loved and cherished by God. I am adopted into His family. Soy victorioso en Cristo; nothing can separate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus my Lord. These are the truths I am focusing on to heal my broken heart.

Preguntas para tomar en serio:

  1. What are some of your triggers?
  2. Have you been able to discern where they come from?
  3. What have you learned over the years to help protect yourself from these intrusive thoughts?
  4. What are some of your favorite Scriptures to help you when you are triggered?
  5. Cómo podemos orar por ti?

Espero que este tema te haya sido útil.. If you need to talk, please reach out with an email at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

 

Eres amado,
Toni

 

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Herramientas que utiliza el enemigo para mantenernos en esclavitud (Parte 1-3)

Herramientas que utiliza el enemigo para mantenernos en esclavitud (Parte 1-3)

Herramientas que utiliza el enemigo para mantenernos en esclavitud (Parte 1): Miedo

by Toni Weisz/ Recovery Tools

 

Referencias de las Escrituras

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given me the Spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind.

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

 

Question: What is preventing me from recognizing I have a problem?

 

Fear is a tool the enemy uses to keep me in my dysfunction: the fear of change, the fear of the unknown, and fear that if I do change, I will lose a relationship.

What are your fears? Make a list of them all.

What is preventing you from truly looking at your life and asking God to help you change?

When I truly ask and seek the truth, God shows me my wounds and the lies I believe about Him, myself, y otros. Once He shows me those areas, I accept them and seek His wisdom to change the things I can.

My areas of woundedness were once fear of rejection and abandonment, and believing the lie that if I was perfect, I would be loved. These fears caused me to become a people-pleaser and made me think I had to earn love from others and God.

I believed God would not forgive my sin of abortion, that my sin was too great. Now I know that was a lie from the enemy to keep me in bondage. I also believed I deserved to be emotionally abused because of my sins.

All this unhealthy thinking kept me in emotionally abusive relationships, isolation, depresión, and hopelessness. But God in His mercy and grace filled my heart with His unfailing love, giving me the courage to step out of the darkness into His beautiful transforming light.

He helped me recognize the root causes of these lies and how to shred those lies to pieces using the Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God.

 

Cómo podemos orar por ti?

I pray this topic has helped you to discover and conquer the fears and the root causes in your own life. Please reach out if you need prayer or a word of encouragement. Email: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Eres amado,
Toni

Herramientas que utiliza el enemigo para mantenernos en esclavitud (Parte 2): Ocupación

por Toni Weisz/Herramientas de recuperación

 

Referencias de las Escrituras:

Salmo 46:10
Be still and know that I am God.

Efesios 2:89
For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works lest anyone should boast.

Romanos 8:15–16a
For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba Father.” The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.

Romanos 8:3839
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

I was always busy with so many things that I didn’t have time to think about the toxic relationships I had with some close family members. I was so involved in my children’s school and after school activities, teaching and serving at church, and raising my family that I did not have time to look at myself and recognize that I was enabling unhealthy behavior.

It was Fall of 2001, and I was pushing myself hard physically so I could compete against 24-year-olds in tennis at the age of 42. I would be exhausted, but I forced myself to work out anyway.

We attended a church where obeying the rules was the most important thing. It was all a show, y in the meantime, my spirit was so grieved I could barely feel the Spirit of God in me.

Then came September 11, and my husband was flying that day from Philly to CA. For many hours, I did not know where he was or how he was. When I watched planes crash into the Twin Towers, I just remember going into shock. John’s family was calling, and I had no information on his waquíabouts.

Shortly after that in October, I fell on the tennis court and hurt myself so badly that I had a huge bulge in my right hip area. As time passed, it got worse, and I could not walk after a while because the pain shot through my entire body. From Thanksgiving through New Years, I was confined to laying on the couch because I was unable to stand or walk for long periods of time.

I couldn’t do anything for several months. For the first time, I had to allow others to do things for me. It was very humbling. I had a complete mental, physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown. My children were in high school at that time, and they would sit at my feet on the couch and do their homework. I thank God for that special memory.

It was during the time of my confinement that God whispered to my heart, “I love you regardless of whether you serve me on all these committees at Church or you lay on the couch for the rest of your life. I love you the same. My love for you never changes. My love for you is not based upon your good works or being worthy to be loved; My love is based upon My Son’s death on the cross for your sins.”

God knew I was working for acceptance from others and Him. I was raised in a works-based religion, and I felt because of the sins from my pastall the drugs, alcohol, sex outside of marriage and my abortionthat I needed to make an atonement for my sins somehow. I didn’t understand that there was nothing I could do to earn salvation; it was a gift from God (ReF. Efesios 2:89).

It took 10 years for that truth to finally make its way to my heart. But once it did, it changed my whole world forever. I finally felt loved and accepted by God. I didn’t have to be good enough or check a box to be loved and accepted. I realized I needed to believe God’s Word. I can now say with confidence that I have been adopted by God, I am His child, and nothing can separate me from His love (Ref. Romanos 8:1516a, 3839).

 

Questions to Take to Heart:

  1. What are you doing to keep yourself so busy that you are not dealing with your stuff?
  2. What are you running away from?
  3. How can/did you stop the busyness in your life?
  4. Cómo podemos orar por ti?

Espero que este tema te haya sido útil.. Please reach out if you need prayer or a word of encouragement. Email: toni@myahsestobeauty.com.

Eres amado,
Toni

 

 

Herramientas que utiliza el enemigo para mantenernos en esclavitud (Parte 3): Puntos ciegos

por Toni Weisz/Herramientas de recuperación

 

Referencias de las Escrituras:

Salmo 119:18
“Open my eyes, that I may see wondrous things out of Your Law.”

John 8:3132
“Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, ‘If you abide in My word, you will be my disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.’”

 

Blind spots are areas in my life in which I have been wounded and where I cannot see my character defects, sins, and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

My life was filled with destructive choices, all of which contributed to my woundedness and blind spots. Only God could show me these blind spots and help me to see what areas in my life I needed to work through and change.

In the past, a blind spot for me was being overly protective of my children. When I was a young mom and not a believer yet, I was fearful that God would punish me for my past abortion and take one of my children. I remember when my children hit tres years of age, Pensé, “Oh good, I don’t have to worry about that."

But I still parented out of fear because I didn’t want my children to make the same mistakes. They were not permitted to participate in many activities their public school friends participated in because of the church we were attending at the time.

God’s Word shined light in these dark areas that were hidden for so many years. This light set me free from my fears, helping me to trust Him to release my children into His capable hands and allow them to make their own choices.

Later on, I had to apologize to my children for not allowing them to do certain things but also for being way too protective of them. They knew my heart, and they forgave me.

Another area eso I had a huge blind spot was in my relationships with others. I did not see how I was allowing others to take advantage of me by manipulating and controlling me. I never developed a voice because I was fearful of rejection and abandonment, which caused me to accept this unacceptable behavior.

I felt I deserved to be abused because of my past sins, which was a lie from the devil. I hated myself and did not respect myself. So, how could I expect others to love and respect me? I allowed others to control and manipulate me because I put their opinions above God’s in my life.

Mi gentepleasing was out of control, and I could never say no because I didn’t want to disappoint others. Entonces, I ran around like an idiot, exhausted physically and emotionally drained and all along feeling very empty and unloved inside.

Why was I doing these things? Oh, yes, so others will see value in me and love me.

Bien, that never worked. The only one who ever saw value and worth in me was God.

Over time, God was removing the blindness, and I started seeing my unhealthy thinking. As I was seeking Him more and the truth about my past, He started revealing things to me that I did not see before.

I am so thankful for the day when God filled me with His love so completely that I finally stopped looking to humans to approve of me or love me. I was content solely in my relationship with the Lord. He was the only one I needed. This perspective changed my life forever. I am so grateful for God showing me my blind spots so I could know the truth, confess my sins, repent and be set free.

Ask God to show you what your blind spots are.

Preguntas:

What areas has God revealed to you that were blind spots?

Can you share them with the group?

Cómo podemos orar por ti?

I pray this topic has helped you to discover blind spots in your own life. Please reach out if you need prayer or a word of encouragement. Email: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

 

En su amor y servicio,

—Toni

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Pensamiento apestoso: Mi visión distorsionada de mí mismo

Pensamiento apestoso: Mi visión distorsionada de mí mismo

Pensamiento apestoso: Mi visión distorsionada de mí mismo

por Toni Weisz/Pensamiento apestoso

Carolina del SurReferencias de rotura: Isaías 43:1819 y Salmo 62:1819

Stinking Thinking se refiere a los pensamientos negativos que nos atormentan. (especialmente cuando estamos DETENER (hinfeliz, Aenojado, lsolo o tenojado) o perturbador pensamientos, como una visión distorsionada de Dios, nosotros mismos, u otras personas. Aprenderemos a discernir la verdad de las mentiras que hemos creído toda nuestra vida.. Nuestro objetivo es equiparte para que puedas tener la victoria en cada área de tu vida..

Isaías 43:1819
“No os acordéis de las cosas pasadas, ni considerar las cosas de antaño. Mirad, haré algo nuevo, ahora brotará; ¿No lo sabrás?? Incluso haré camino en el desierto y ríos en el desierto”.

Salmo 62: 68
“Él sólo es mi roca y mi salvación; el es mi defensa; Preferiría que no me movieran. En Dios está mi salvación y mi gloria.; La roca de mi fuerza, y mi refugio, esta en dios. Confía en Él en todo momento, Tu gente; derrama tu corazón delante de él; Dios es un refugio para nosotros."

yo era el mayor de tres y provenía de una estricta segunda generación, Italo-americano Famili. mi padre y su dos hermanos y hermana dirigían una empresa familiar Cconstrucción CEmpresa iniciada por mi abuelo..

Mi abuelo tenía un problema con la bebida. AY mi papá actuó como un alcohólico a pesar de que no bebía.. Me refiero a su comportamiento como un "adicto a la ira".."Trabajaba muchas horas y estaba lidiando con mucho estrés y drama familiar.. No podía comunicarse de manera saludable sin enfadarse y alzar la voz.. hTeníamos una mecha muy corta.. Entonces, cuando estaba en casa, Literalmente quisiera correr y esconderme..

tuve un excesosentido de responsabilidad desarrollado, y me avergoncé muy rápido de niño. Mi papá Era muy impredecible y aterrador a veces.. Como resultado de esto, Me escondí detrás de mi pared para protegerme. fingí ser el bueno, una tranquila, para protegerme y diferenciarme de mi hermana (quien fue 15 meses mi menor) y mi hermano (quién nació tres años después de ella).

¿Cómo se suponía que iba a conseguir el amor y la atención que necesitaba?? Después del “bueno, una tranquila" persona ya no estaba trabajando, Empecé a tomar whisky a escondidas. wsu llave del gabinete de licores de mis padres. Como dije, mi papa no bebía, así que él no sabía que estaba diluyendo su licor hasta que escuché a mi tío comentarlo un día mientras tomaba una copa.. Pensé, "Oh, no, Estoy en problemas ahora”. Pero nada salió de eso.

Ahora realmente me estaba escondiendo debido a todos los pecados que estaba acumulando mientras mantenía la fachada del bien., una tranquila. Por 13, Me estaba drogando y consumiendo otras drogas.. En 16, Era teniendo sexo. y en 21, estaba embarazada y soltera. Mi vida era una receta para el desastre..

Me sentí muy inseguro porque comencé a ganar mucho peso debido a todas las calorías adicionales del licor y a los atracones después de drogarme.. me sentí feo, gordo, no amado, solo, y deprimido. Nunca desarrollé mi voz tampoco, Así que todo el relleno que había estado haciendo durante mi vida estaba a punto de salir de lado., y no podría controlarlo. Me volvería como mi padre, un "adicto a la ira".

Después de muchos años de decisiones destructivas, Mecanismos de copia nocivos y adicciones., Mi autodesprecio estaba en su punto más alto. METROMi depresión me impedía funcionar normalmente y todo el dolor que había estado guardando toda mi vida estaba saliendo de lado.. no tenia control sobre eso. Yo era como un volcán andante. Literalmente solo quería poner fin a este desastre de vida y detener el tormento que estaba experimentando..

Sentí que no era digno de ser amado. De hecho, Pensé que merecía que otros abusaran emocionalmente de mí debido a mi aborto.. No me veía como una persona valiosa para nadie., ni siquiera a dios. Este patrón destructivo continuaría hasta que yo fuera 34, cuando por la gracia de Dios, Escuché el evangelio y dentro 4 semanas fui salvo y le pedí a Jesús que perdonara mis pecados y fuera mi Señor y Salvador. El día más hermoso y memorable de mi vida es febrero. 6, 1994, cuando nací de nuevo.

Incluso después de mi salvación, Sentí que tenía que trabajar por el amor de Dios y por la aprobación de los demás en el liderazgo de la Iglesia.. Mi gentecomplacer estaba consumiendo mi vida, y Dios me mostró que esto es idolatría, que todo lo que pongo por encima de Dios es un ídolo.

Lentamente con el tiempo mientras Él derramaba Su amor y gracia sobre mí y con muchos años de recuperación, interior intensivotrabajo de curación, y participación en altosgrupos de rendición de cuentas, Dios me mostró que su amor por mí no se basaba en mis buenas obras. y eso Fue sólo gracias a la muerte de Jesús en la cruz por mí que ahora era justo ante Dios..

Dejé de esforzarme por agradar a la gente y sólo vivo mi vida para agradar a Dios.. Como resultado de esta nueva mentalidad, Me he vuelto más dependiente de Dios y más audaz y valiente.. Estoy muy agradecido por la maravillosa aventura en la que el Señor y yo estamos ahora..

 

qPREGUNTAS PARA TOMAR EN SERIO:

  1. ¿Cómo tu visión distorsionada de ti mismo te ha abierto a todo tipo de abuso y pecado como una forma de tratar de afrontar todo el dolor??

 

  1. ¿Cómo ha cambiado tu visión distorsionada de ti mismo a lo largo de los años a medida que Dios te ha dado la conciencia y el coraje para cambiar??

 

Comuníquese si necesita oración o alguien con quien hablar.. Ypuedes enviarme un correo electrónico a: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Eres amado,
Toni

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Misterios

Misterios

SECRETS

by Toni Weisz/Recovery Tools
Referencias de las Escrituras: John 8:31–32, 36

John 8:3132, 36
Entonces Jesús dijo a los judíos que le creían., “Si permanecéis en mi palabra, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

“Therefore, si el Hijo te hace libre, seréis verdaderamente libres”.

 

YOU’RE ONLY AS SICK AS YOUR SECRETS

You may have heard the familiar recovery term, “You’re only as sick as your secrets," and it is a true statement. Until we feel safe to share our secrets, we keep them locked up in a type of “Pandora’s Box,” where we keep all of our deepest and darkest secrets hidden, because we fear them coming out to expose the ugly truth.

For the postabortion woman, it is the truth that we terminated the life of our child. This horrible secret was our child. For those of us who have been abused, our fears of retaliation, rejection and judgment keep us silent. Where can we go to share in a safe place?

God doesn’t want us operating in secrets because He knows how destructive isolation and secrets are. I started secrets when I was 12 años, hiding my drinking. then it was getting high at 13, then sex at 16, and the worst offense era my abortion at 21.

My secrets and sins were piling up, and it became harder and harder to keep them from coming out. I feared my parents’ reaction, punishment and disappointment in me. I knew all of this was wrong, but I kept those secrets until I was 50 años.

They had no idea about my destructive, pecaminoso, sorted past because I wore a great mask. It was not an easy conversation, but I wanted them to hear it from me because I was starting this ministry and I didn’t want them to find out from another source. It needed to come from me. I felt a great release when I was finally able to share this with my parents.

WHY ARE SECRETS DESTRUCTIVE?

Primero, secrets keep us isolated from God and others, and that’s exactly where the enemy wants us. He wants us isolated and hiding because then he can torment us over and over again, until we realize what’s going on. Secrets keep us from the very people that can help us.

Second, the dysfunction is perpetuated and will continue as long as we nurture this thing, and protect it, like it was some prized possession. The secret needs to be exposed and brought into the light.

Third, secrets can hinder or prevent healing in our lives. Because of the abuse many of us have experienced in our past, we are already fearful of exposure, y we think this secret is a way to keep us safe. But actually it is causing us to stay sick. God gives us the courage to step out of isolation and secrets so we can be healed.

Fourth, secrets are destructive because they distort our view of reality, and we feel like we are all alone. Secrets are usually combined with lies that we believe about ourselves, Dios, u otras personas. God’s Word and the Holy Spirit help us to know the truth so we can walk in it and so these secrets and lies can no longer hold us back from becoming the women God created us to be.

God wants us free from bondage. Secrets keep us in chains and in darkness.

Jesús Came to set the captives free.

Preguntas para tomar en serio:

  1. What secrets are you still holding onto?
  2. Why are you fearful to share them? Is it fear of retribution, miedo al rechazo, fear of hurting another person, fear of abandonment, or fear of judgment?
  3. When did you have the courage to share your secrets?
  4. How did you feel after you shared your secrets?
  5. Cómo podemos orar por ti?

Please be aware eso even in Church, there are some people who are emotionally unsafe to share secrets with. Make sure it is a person/group you trust.

I pray you have the courage to trust God and allow Him to show you the areas of your life that need healing. Trust Him with your secrets.

If you need help, please reach out to me. METROy email is: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

 

Eres amado,
Toni

 

 

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