Le Seigneur vous équipera pour votre appel

Le Seigneur vous équipera pour votre appel

1st Samuel 17:28, 1st Corinthians 15:58, and Philippians 1:3-6

In 1st Samuel 17, prior to fighting Goliath, David has an encounter with his older brother Eliab. Eliab accuses David of being in sin and being prideful. In 1st Samuel 17:28 nous lisons, “Why did you come down here? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your pride and the insolence of your heart, for you have come down to see the battle.”

Many around David, even his own family, tried to discourage him from fighting the giant because of their fears and their lack of trust and confidence in the Lord. The enemy was also at work in this situation, trying to prevent David from obeying the calling God had placed on his life.

Opposition to your calling will sometimes come from your own family and closest friends. It happened to me when I started on my abortion healing journey, back in January 2006. It was Sanctity of Human Life Sunday, and I was sitting in my Sunday School class. The Holy Spirit said to me, “I want you to help other women feel forgiven for their past abortions.” People closest to me said, “You shouldn’t do it because you are not suited for it; you should be working with children instead,” or “It’s too hard for you, and you will not be able to handle all the sorrow and pain associated with abortion.”

Alors, I did nothing for a few weeks. Shortly thereafter, my Pastor preached on obedience. When I heard this sermon, there was no denying the pull God had on my heart. I had to do this. I went back to that person who had doubted my calling and abilities and said, “You don’t understand, God is calling me to do this and I must obey Him.”

How can we apply this to our lives? D'abord, we must be prepared for many around us, even our own family members, to disagree with our calling. They may cause you to doubt whether you have truly heard from God or not. Many will try to prevent you from fulfilling your God-given calling on your life. They will say, “Are you sure that’s what God is leading you to do?” The enemy will throw everything at you to trip you up, so you do not fulfill your God-given destiny. Your destiny or calling is not something you choose. God is the one who calls you, and He is the one who will equip you for it. In 1st Corinthians 15:58, it says, "Donc, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not vain in the Lord.”

You are courageous women of God and I want you to be encouraged. God will equip you for the battle you will face in your ministry. God will prepare you for every good work. Keep your eyes on Jesus and He will lead you, protect you, provide for you, and guide you, all the days of your life.

I would like to pray this prayer over you:

Philippiens 1:3-6

“I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;"

Follow the Lord’s leading, mon cher; He can be trusted. He will always lead you to walk on the path of truth, life, and peace.

Reach out today if you need prayer or a word of encouragement. —Toni

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Idolatry and Codependency

Idolatry and Codependency

Idolatry and Codependency
Abortion Recovery/Recovery Tools
Exodus 20:3-5un

Exodus 20:3-5a “You shall have no other gods before Me. “You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve (worship) them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God…”

Idolatry is the act of putting something or someone before God in our hearts or minds. Idols are obsessions that consume us. An idol can be a job, de l'argent, a sport or hobby, a relationship, or a physical problem; anything that we put before God.

Dans le passé, I have put my husband, mes enfants, tennis, and other people before God. En fait, I became so consumed with what others thought of me, I became whoever they wanted me to be as a result, I didn’t know who I truly was. My fear of rejection and abandonment paired with my need for love and acceptance, made me a people pleaser. I had no boundaries so I accepted unacceptable behavior from others. I could never say no because I didn’t want to disappoint them. I allowed people to manipulate me, control me, and treat me very poorly. Deep down I felt I deserved it, surtout après mon avortement. I hated myself and felt I was of no value to anyone…not even to God. Alors, I allowed others to abuse me.

To protect myself, I obsessed over controlling everything and everybody. I didn’t trust anyone and believed they would all hurt me…even God Himself. Not having control was a scary thought for me, so I was afraid to put Him first. Dans 2010, I joined a recovery program for Adult Child of Alcoholics (ACOA). While there, I realized I had to relinquish control to God and admit that my life had become unmanageable. That’s when I started learning how to trust God. I learned to release individuals and situations into His capable hands, freeing me from carrying those burdens and feeling personally responsible for way too many things. I learned that God wanted to be first in my life. Reading His Word, journaling, and meditating on Scripture first thing in the morning became a daily habit for me. I looked forward to my special time with Him and Him alone, everyday

According to Mental Health America, the definition of codependency is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive (https://www.mhanational.org/co-dependency). In recovery, I learned about the condition of codependency and how I was so intertwined with other people’s lives that I could not detach myself from them. Their lives affected mine too much. I had to step back and allow them to make their own decisions, learn from their mistakes, and experience consequences for their own actions. I no longer had to jump in to fix, sauvetage, or save others. I learned that I am not God, nor can I control another person. I grew up believing I had the power to make people happy or sad by my words and actions; that was a lie from the devil. I never had that much control. Once I realized this, I surrendered to God and gave Him all the people and situations in my life I had tried to control. Enfin, for the first time ever, I was responsible only for myself.

Twelve years later, I now see how God directed my path. He led me to get the help I needed so that I could be set free to live the abundant life Jesus came to give me. He has taken my ashes and my sins and has used them for my good and His glory. I am so grateful for His faithfulness and love over the years. I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for Jesus leading and guiding me.

Des questions & Réflexions finales:

IDOL’ATRY, n. L. idol latria. Gr. idol, and to worship or serve.

  1. The worship of idols, images, or anything made by hands, or which is not God. Idolatry is of two kinds; the worship of images, statues, pictures, etc. made by hands; and the worship of the heavenly bodies, the sun, moon and stars, or of demons, angels, men and animals.
  2. Excessive attachment or veneration (great respect or reverence) for anything, or that which borders on adoration.

(Definitions from Webster’s American Dictionary of the English Language, 1828.)

  1. Do you have idols in your life?
  2. Did you have codependency issues in you past? How did you overcome them?
  3. Do you trust God and are you putting Him first? Sinon, what are you afraid of?

I pray that this topic has given you awareness about some areas in your life that God wants you to change. God bless you as you seek His wisdom and guidance.

Tu es aimé,

—Toni

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Your Are Safe Here

You are safe here...

If you had an abortion in your past, you have found a safe place.

Ici, you are safe to share your heart and your tears over your abortion decision, whether it was by choice or if someone forced you.

If you are overwhelmed with feelings of loss, la honte, culpabilité, solitude, depression, désespoir, and it’s hard for you to function, we can walk with you and help you get the love and support you need, so you can heal.

You are in the right place for hope and healing through the Word of God, Jesus Christ, and a safe and loving environment for you to share without fear of judgment or condemnation.

I have been doing post-abortion recovery since 2006 through various Bible Studies and venues.

Dans 2013, I started post-abortion conference calls on Sunday afternoons, and I have a team of healed godly women ready to minister to you.

I have several options available to help you release your shame and guilt associated with your past abortion.

In exchange for those heavy burdens is a relationship with Jesus, having His peace, and experiencing true freedom. Here are the options:

  1. A conference call every Sunday afternoon at 4:00 PM EST. Each week we discuss a different topic. Most of the women on the call have experienced the loss of a child to abortion, and others struggle with unhealthy relationships, addictions, and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Conference Call: 605-562-8400, PIN 4746600#

You’ll find more info on the Sunday Teleconference call at myashestobeauty.com/events

2. There are post-abortion Bible Studies available in many locations and venues. Face-to-face Bible Study meetings are available at a specific location and time, as well as a conference call Bible Study.

3. There are topics available on this site to help encourage you.

4. You can reach out if you need to talk with someone via telephone, text message, and/or email, whichever you prefer.

5. You can find other resources from different organizations that help with unplanned pregnancies and post-abortion recovery on our Ressources page.

Most importantly, we are very proud of you for stepping out and seeking help and healing.

We are so honored to walk with you on this healing journey.

God Bless You.

—Toni

Empty Jars

Empty Jars

Puis, I heard my name being called and I froze. My heart started to race. I remember a tightening in my abdomen and chest. My legs were shaking, but I got up and walked towards the nurse.

I walked into the room where I was met by two other women. David waited outside. Of course, he paid for full anesthesia so I would be knocked out.

One of the nurses gave me a gown and instructed me to put it on with the opening in the front. I did what I was told. I looked around the room and noticed that there were no pictures on the walls.

The doctor came in and asked me to lay on the examining table. She rubbed my abdomen with a gel and placed a sonogram reader on my belly. Then I heard it…thump thump, thump. Before I knew it, she turned down the machine. I didn’t hear it anymore. She left the room.

I laid on that table looking up at the ceiling with the staff setting up the equipment, which they explained would act as a simple vacuum to dismantle the contents of my uterus. I saw empty jars that I imagined my baby would be in. After all, I was familiar with the jars that were filled with bloody contents from abortions. I myself distributed those images to many as I marched on the streets of DC protesting the very action I was about to embark on.

The doctor came back in and asked if there was any other questions I had before they put the mask on me. My mind raced, but I couldn’t get the words out. “How long was it going to take? Will it hurt? Will I be able to have children later? Can I call my Mom?” However, none of these words that I was thinking came out of my mouth. “No,” I heard myself answer though it sounded as if it came from someplace else, outside of myself.

The nurse placed the mask over my nose and mouth and instructed me to start counting backwards and from 10 to 1. I took a shallow breath and started counting, “10, 9, 8,” then I remember crying out the words …”WAIT…STOP!!!” But no, they were only thoughts that never made it out of me as words before I was knocked unconscious and was unable to speak, move, or save my baby.

I awoke screaming, and I remember crying my heart out. “STOP. DON’T, I want to keep her,” I screamed.

The nurse who was startled by my screaming, sheepishly said, “I am sorry. It is over.” I let out a curdling scream, rubbing my belly, and clenching my very soul.

The nurse helped me back on the table. Apparently, I jumped off it as I came to. I laid on that table for what seemed like hours. Crying, rubbing my belly, feeling the emptiness. A feeling that I did not know until that day. I felt an ache in my heart like no other. Oui, I was sore in the abdomen area and remembered that they told me I would have some cramping and bleeding after the procedure.

One of the nurses came into the room with a large pad and told me to get dressed when I was ready. I remember how they looked at me. Faces filled with shame and sadness. They must have known that I was remorseful, and to know that they were part of the reason for my distress must have been upsetting. Or maybe I am just imagining that, and all they wanted was to get the room ready for the next woman, and I was just holding them up. I don’t know.

They encouraged me to eat something, brought me juice, and helped me up. I walked out into the waiting area with all eyes upon me as if they heard me cry out from afar. I don’t know if anyone did…I cried to the angels for I know they must have heard and were weeping for me.

We went to a hotel for a few days. I lost it. I remember crying for hours and then staring at the walls and ceiling. We would watch television and then suddenly, I would go into a rage. Crying, screaming, begging God to please give me back my baby. I was a wreck. David would calm me down and hold me.

I would be okay for a bit but then wake up from a deep sleep crying again. David had to call friends for support. I threatened death, accused him of horrible acts, and blamed the world for my action. “I want my baby back,” I cried over and over again.

To be continued…

Bread from Heaven-toni-weisz-abortion-recovery-and-abuse-support-group

Bread from Heaven-toni-weisz-abortion-recovery-and-abuse-support-group

I would rather go back to what is familiar even if it is bondage…

Exodus 16: 3-4un
And the children of Israel said to them, “Oh that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat and when we ate bread to the full! For you have brought us out into the wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.” Then the Lord said to Moses, “Behold I will rain bread from heaven for you….”

When the children of Israel’s trials were too hard for them to bear, they wanted to go back to what was familiar: slavery in Egypt.

How many of us can relate to wanting to go back to the dysfunctional relationships or sins of our past because there is comfort in knowing what to expect?

Change is hard because it’s unfamiliar; there is no safety or comfort in it. But God doesn’t want us to stay in our dysfunction. He wants us healed. He wants us to trust Him completely with every area of our lives.

God provided the children of Israel with bread that literally dropped out of the sky, He called it, “Bread from Heaven.” If God did that for them, don’t you think He can help you too? I think the answer is Yes!!!

Laisse-moi te demander, what are you still trying to control and refuse to release into God’s Hands?

God wants you to trust Him to lead, guide, and provide for you. Il a un beau projet pour ta vie. Franchement, at this point, what do you have to lose? If anything, you have much to gain.

Step out dear one, and let God take control; you will not regret this decision.

If you need prayer or encouragement, reach out and we will be happy to pray with you.

God Bless you!

Toni et l'équipe de myashestobeauty.com

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