Límites: por qué son tan importantes?

Límites: por qué son tan importantes?

Salmo 34:18, Jeremías 29:11, John 3:16

Personal boundaries, as defined by Psychology today, “Are the limits we set with other people, which indicate what we will accept and what we consider unacceptable behavior towards us. To know our boundaries comes from a healthy view of ourselves.” When that view is distorted due to emotional trauma as children (whether we did not get the love and care from our family which is a Type A Trauma or we were sexually, emotionally, or physically abused as children which is Type B Trauma). All these experiences as children cause us to have a distorted view of ourselves, Dios, and others and it prevents us from maturing into healthy stable adults. (Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You, A Life Model Book)

This distorted view of ourselves especially those of us who have had abortions opens up the door to all kinds of unhealthy and destructive behavior. God created women to love and nurture their children and then we did the opposite. Our hopes and dreams as young girls are dashed, and we are now open to all kinds of unhealthy destructive coping mechanisms and ungodly behavior to deal with our pain. Our very souls are tormented and we feel desperately alone, depressed and even suicidal.

So how can we stop this destructive cycle of accepting and enabling unhealthy behavior from others? Primero, we must realize we have a Savior and a friend who is the lover of our soul, and His name is Jesus. He is the only one that can heal our broken spirits, our broken bodies and our broken minds. Salmo 34:18 ESV “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves the crushed in spirit.” He is the only one that can take the disaster we have made of our lives and restore order and peace. And He alone can give us a new hope, new dreams, un nuevo propósito, and a new life. Jeremías 29:11 NKJV, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

In childhood, I did not learn what healthy boundaries look like. I became a people pleaser at a very young age and as a result I allowed people to take advantage of me and treat me very poorly and I never said a word. I wondered why I never truly felt loved by others; what was it? I was allowing all kinds of unhealthy behavior because I didn’t love and respect myself, especially after my abortion. I now despised myself. I didn’t understand why others didn’t treat me with love, kindness and compassion. I realized they cannot give what they do not have. But that took many decades for me to come to that understanding. I also recognized that they did the best they could with what they had and I released them into God’s Hands and started praying for and forgave them.

We all have our wounds and issues from our past, which causes us to be self-consumed and blinded, and we cannot see how we are hurting others closest to us. Only God can give us awareness and the courage to stop accepting unacceptable behavior and establish healthy boundaries. For the first time, I used my voice to explain my boundaries and insist they be respected. There was some push back but I was not going to waiver. At first, putting up boundaries is hard to do. But as God heals us, we get stronger, bolder and more courageous, and we no longer want to just exist, we want to experience the abundant life Jesus came to give us. The first step in recovery is recognizing my life is unmanageable and I need God to help me.

Querido, I want you to know that God loves you so much that He sent His Son to die on the cross for you. (John 3:16) Have you received this gift of love and forgiveness from God? If not you can do that today? If you do know the Lord, then ask Him to help you to love yourself and to have courage to put up boundaries and no longer accept unhealthy behavior. He will help you if you ask Him, He did it for me and I know He will do it for you too.

 

 

Bendiciones,

Toni

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El engaño del egoísmo

El engaño del egoísmo

Génesis 3:6, Lucas 1:38, 2 Corintios 12:9, and Hebrews 12:2

Selfishness is being consumed with thoughts regarding self and not being concerned about others and what the consequences of our actions would have on another person. Sin is pleasurable for a season, but it is very destructive to us and those who love and care for us.

Where did selfishness start? It started with Adam and Eve in the Garden, in Genesis chapter 3:6 we read, “And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her, and he did eat.” Eve’s desire to be like God knowing good and evil caused her to become self-absorbed and only thinking about what it could do for her and not what the sin would do to her relationship with God or her husband. She had no idea that her sin would plunge all of mankind into sin, despair, and death. Perhaps if she would have thought for one second prior to taking the fruit, wait God told me not to do this, He loves me and has provided everything I need. Why would I go against Him? The devil caused her to doubt God’s love. Instead she felt she was entitled, it was her right to this, and God was holding back something good from her. But the truth was He loved her so much He was protecting her, because He knew the destruction that would be done as a result of her choice. Just like with us when we had our abortions. God gave us a way to escape, but no, we had our minds made up and we were doing this! All the while His heart was breaking for us because he knew our very souls would be shattered into a million pieces and we would be devastated and, we would struggle with our choice for many years to come. God allows us to make our own choices just like He did with Eve. God wants us to choose to love Him and obey Him.

I had a conversation with a pro-choice woman, and as we were talking, she said how much she loves children and that they are a gift. And I thought, how can she love children and still be pro-choice? Then it dawned on me that she has bought into the feminist ideology. The lie feminism tells women is, this is your body and your right to have an abortion. They do not want to be accountable to God, they want to be in control. They want to decide what is right or wrong for them and they want to be like God, just like Eve did. The world tells them whatever feels good, do it, you deserve it. They have put their selfish desires for control and have made themselves into little “g” gods, having control over their own bodies and destiny. They do not see that abortion is terminating a life. Instead they see it as self-serving and self-preservation and they are courageous for doing so. And they become angry when anyone tries to take their control away. Because deep down, they know it’s a baby, but they would rather sacrifice their child’s life for their selfish desires.

There is another woman in the Bible, who had a choice to be selfish or to obey God. Her name was Mary, the mother of Jesus. When she found herself with child from the Holy Spirit as an unwed teenager, she risked her very life because she should have been stoned, which was the law; or she would have been divorced from her betrothed Joseph. But instead she was courageous and said to the Angel in Luke 1:38, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.” I pray we will look to Mary as our example, a woman of courage who loved and obeyed God, especially when it was hard, or inconvenient, or difficult; she never wavered. She showed us that God’s grace is sufficient and we can be victorious, if we keep our eyes on Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.

Thinking back to your own abortion, how were you selfish?
In what ways are you now trusting God and wanting to obey Him?

 

Bendiciones,

Toni

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Pensamiento apestoso: Ansiedad

Pensamiento apestoso: Ansiedad

Pensamiento apestoso: Ansiedad

por Toni Weisz/Pensamiento apestoso

Escrituras: filipenses 4:6-7, mateo 6:25-26, 31 y 33, Salmo 121:2 and Matthew 10:31

filipenses 4:6-7
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication (humbly asking) with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

mateo 6:25-26, 31, y 33
“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not your life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather in barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? “Therefore, do not worry, diciendo, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you.”

Salmo 121:2
My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

 

When I was a young child, I worried about everything. When I left a homework assignment at home accidentally, I went into a panic. What is my teacher going to think or say to me?

Frantically, I would call my mom, “Can you please bring my assignment to school?"

She said to me, “You are such a worry wart.”

I was so anxious that my perfect mask would be exposed, that people might see the real me, an insecure people-pleaser, seeking approval from others so I could feel good about myself. I so desperately needed to feel like I belonged, that I was a person of value. I was continually striving for perfection to receive love and accolades from others. But that didn’t work; it only left me feeling alone and depleted.

As an adult, I became anxious when I negatively projected into the future. When I did this, I felt weak, hopeless, and discouraged. My head and eyes were cast down, and I felt like giving up. But when I recognized I was looking inward, then I reminded myself, “My help comes from the Lord," (Salmo 121:2) and I looked up to heaven.

God has promised us in His Word that He will meet all of our needs. “Are you not of more value than many sparrows?” Matthew 10:31

But unfortunately, I did not trust Him. I made some very bad decisions because I did not trust Him with my future, my life, my marriage, or my children. I had to be in control, and relinquishing that control was a scary thing for me.

I thought I could minimize my anxiety by trying to control everyone and everything. But I realized that was impossible to do, and it made me very frustrated and emotionally drained. I used to jump in to fix, rescate, and save others because I became anxious about all the what ifs.

I realized I cannot save, rescate, or fix anyone; only God can. I was sinning against God by not trusting Him in every area of my life. I had to believe He is a good God and He can take care of me and my family.

I remember in my journaling, God telling me, “Get out of My way; you are preventing Me from working in your family.” IN ALL CAPS, TOO. God was not happy with me. God showed me that my lack of trust in Him was a sin and putting others before Him was an idol. He showed me that He was not like my earthly parents; He was kind and gentle, cariñoso, caring, and full of compassion. I repented and turned away from my sin of unbelief and turned to God.

I no longer struggle with feeling anxious. I have learned to pray and bring all my concerns to Him. I believe only He can provide for all my needs. I am finally free of that sick thinking and character defect that kept me stuck and fretting for so many decades.

Gracias, Caballero, for the gift of your presence in my life, for the Holy Spirit to remind me that I am Yours!!! Thank you that I am not alone; You are always with me.

Preguntas para tomar en serio:

  1. Did you struggle with anxiety? What kinds of things would make you anxious?
  2. Are you still struggling with anxiety?
  3. What are some things you do to help you overcome your anxiety?
  4. Cómo podemos orar por ti?

Espero que este tema te haya sido útil.. Por favor comuníquese si necesita hablar: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Eres amado,

Toni

Pensamiento apestoso: Justificación: justificando mi pecado

Pensamiento apestoso: Justificación: justificando mi pecado

Pensamiento apestoso: Justifying My Sin

por Toni Weisz/Pensamiento apestoso

Escrituras: Génesis 3:8-13 y proverbios 11:14b

“And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, y Adán y su esposa se escondieron de la presencia del Señor Dios entre los árboles del jardín.. Entonces el Señor Dios llamó a Adán y le dijo, "Dónde estás?” So he said, “Escuché tu voz en el jardín, y tuve miedo porque estaba desnudo; and I hid myself.” And He said, “¿Quién te dijo que estabas desnuda?? ¿Has comido del árbol del cual te mandé que no comieras??” Then the man said, “La mujer que me diste por compañera, ella me dio del arbol, and I ate.” And the Lord God said to the woman, “¿Qué es esto que has hecho??” The woman said, “La serpiente me engañó, and I ate.” Genesis 3:8-13

Yo defino la justificación, more specifically, justifying my sin, as the distorted belief that I am making a right or reasonable decision when, in fact, the opposite is true. He escuchado casi todas las excusas para justificar la elección de una mujer por abortar.; Yo tuve varios. I allowed the enemy to isolate me and lie to me, tal como lo hizo con Adán y Eva cuando comieron del fruto prohibido y pecaron contra Dios.

Como resultado de mi pecado, I rushed to make my decision and did not ask for help or discuss it with anyone. Es con lo único que nosotras como mujeres no pedimos ayuda., porqué es eso? Hablamos con nuestros amigos o familiares sobre otras decisiones que tomamos., pero ¿por qué no este??

Creo que el enemigo inmediatamente ataca y comienza a inundar nuestras mentes con todo tipo de caos., junto con mentiras, miedo, y ansiedad. This combination is overwhelming to our minds, and we scramble to stop the noise in our heads so we can return to normal.

No tuve mi aborto hasta mi segundo trimestre, but I had my mind made up immediately that I was going to have an abortion. I had to wait months to have my procedure because I didn’t follow protocol and ate before my first scheduled abortion and had to reschedule. I had to make two abortion appointments! Tal vez Dios me estaba dando una manera de escapar, pero no estaba buscando su consejo. En cambio, I felt justified in my decision to move forward with the abortion.

The reasons I used to justify my sin of abortion were the following: Creí la mentira de que mi bebé sufriría graves deformaciones porque estaba consumiendo drogas fuertes., bebiendo excesivamente, y fumar 2-3 paquetes de cigarrillos por día. I was still in college in Ohio with no job and I thought, “I can’t have a child now!” I believed the father of the child would leave me to raise the child on my own.

Pero la razón más importante fue que tenía miedo de contarles a mis padres.. I regret that I did not have the courage to admit to my parents that I made a mistake and I needed help. Nunca les di la oportunidad de opinar sobre mi decisión porque tomé el asunto en mis propias manos.. Mi miedo y mi orgullo me impidieron decir la verdad.. I wish I had told them because I could have my 45-year-old son with me today. Pero no puedo volver atrás y cambiar mi pasado.. All I can do is learn from it and understand why this broken frightened woman could not tell her parents the truth.

I remember after watching the movie, "No planificado", Estaba en el lavabo de mi cuarto de lavado y el Espíritu Santo susurró a mi corazón., “Every child in the womb is mine.” Tears filled my eyes and I replied, “I know, Caballero, and I robbed you of the baby in my womb and I am so sorry.”

El pecado nunca se justifica. Mirando hacia atrás a nuestros primeros padres, Adán y Eva, we see they pointed their finger at someone else to justify their sin before God. The exchange is quite interesting, and we use the same tactics today. In Genesis Chapter 3, after Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, God called to them, "Dónde estás?” God called Adam by his name wanting him to confess his sin, but instead he justified his sin and accused the woman who God gave him. And Eve likewise accused the serpent. En lugar de asumir la responsabilidad de sus pecados, culparon a alguien más. Su orgullo les impidió humillarse ante Dios y arrepentirse de su pecado.. Mi orgullo me impidió pedir ayuda a mis padres y a Dios en mi decisión de abortar.. En cambio, I listened to the devil, y sufrí durante años a consecuencia de mi decisión.

For you dear ones who have been abused, rejected, and abandoned by those who were supposed to love and nurture you, the pain of what you endured just breaks my heart. It broke God’s too. God wants you healed. He is a good Father. He is kind, compassionate, cariñoso, faithful, and full of grace. He is not like your earthly family who are flawed and a product of their own destructive home environments. Your Father in heaven is perfect. He is love; it is His character.

We are here to help you make life-affirming, God-glorifying decisions in your lives. Proverbios 11:14b, “In the multitude of counselors, there is safety.” Please reach out if you are struggling with making good decisions that honor God. You can break the unhealthy destructive cycle and replace it with one that is pleasing to God and gives you peace in your soul.

Preguntas para tomar en serio:

1. ¿Cuáles fueron tus razones para abortar?(s) que en su momento sentiste que estabas justificado? ¿Cuáles fueron las mentiras que creíste??

2. For those who have been abused, how did you justify this sin against you? ¿Cuáles fueron las mentiras que creíste??

3. ¿Cuál es la verdad que Dios te ha mostrado??

4. Cómo podemos orar por ti?

Por favor comuníquese si necesita hablar. You can email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com. Please don’t suffer alone anymore. You have a community of women who are available to walk alongside you to help you.

Eres amado,

Toni

 

 

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¿Por qué las mujeres tienen miedo de compartir el secreto del aborto?

¿Por qué las mujeres tienen miedo de compartir el secreto del aborto?

Why are we fearful to share our abortion secret?
John 10:8-11

What is holding Christian women back from admitting this sin and coming forward to ask for healing? Why do women in leadership feel they cannot share they had an abortion? Will their ministries be less effective? I don’t think so. I truly believe when women in leadership come forward and admit this publicly, it gives the rest of the women sitting in the group or congregation, permission to come out and share as well.

The stats provided by Care Net tell us 4 out of 10 women identify as Christians and attend church at least once a month. These women are the first to have an abortion for fear of being found out. The enemy lies to them and tells them they have to take care of this quickly because they are a Pastor’s wife, or daughter, or they are in leadership; it has to be a secret and no one can find out. Entonces, they quickly go to the abortion clinic and have an abortion. Afterwards they are a mess emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. This is wrong!!! The church and Christians should be the first ones to say we are here to help you, please do not terminate your child’s life because you made a mistake. There are other life affirming options available. That’s what the MLD course through Care Net does. It equips believers to come along side these women and men, to give them information about abortion and the life affirming alternatives, to pray with them, to share the Gospel with them, that Jesus died on the cross for them so they can have freedom, forgiveness of sins, and a new life; and to walk with them on this journey so they don’t feel all alone. This cycle of death in the church needs to stop and I pray Pastors and leaders’ eyes will be opened to this truth, and they will be willing to do something about it.

John 10:8-11 says “All who ever came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not hear them. I am the door, if anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief does not come but to steal, matar, and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep."

The enemy hates everything that God created, especially his most beautiful creation mankind, because we are created in His image and are given a living Spirit. God created us to have a relationship with Him. But He gave us a free will also. The enemy, since the beginning of time, in the garden has lied to us and caused us to doubt God’s Word and His love for us. When we as believers go against God’s best for us or break His laws, we sin. That’s when the struggle begins and the enemy then has a foothold in our lives. That’s where the church is now. The enemy has these women and men who have aborted their babies, in bondage, isolation, and torment. He wants them to keep this a secret, because he wants to prevent them from experiencing true peace with God, forgiveness of sins, and he certainly doesn’t want us, (those who have been healed from our past abortions) to tell others that there is hope and healing in Christ. More people need to hear the truth from us, I pray our voices will be louder than the enemy’s, so people can truly be set free.

How can we encourage Christian women sitting in our churches every Sunday to share their secret of abortion? I believe they must hear someone’s abortion story; they need to see a face associated with an Abortion Recovery Ministry or Bible Study. Then they can feel safe to come forward. But for some reason the church is hesitant to share this from the pulpit, I’m not sure why. I am praying that God will raise up bold and courageous leaders who have had an abortion, to step up and share with other women to encourage them to step out also.

Let me ask you, why did it take you so long to come forward to admit you had an abortion?

Tell me your story. What did God use to get you to step out and come forward for healing?

As a result of your healing what has God called you to do?

Will you join me to stop abortion in the church and come alongside other women to encourage them to break this cycle of death, in exchange for one that leads to life, freedom, and peace?

Bendiciones,

Toni