Pensée puante: Justifying My Sin

par Toni Weisz / Prise de pute

Écritures: Genèse 3:8-13 and Proverbs 11:14b

“And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.” And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?” Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” And the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” Genesis 3:8-13

I define justification, more specifically, justifying my sin, as the distorted belief that I am making a right or reasonable decision when, in fact, the opposite is true. I have heard almost every excuse to justify a woman’s choice for an abortion; I had several myself. I allowed the enemy to isolate me and lie to me, just like he did to Adam and Eve when they ate the forbidden fruit and sinned against God.

As a result of my sin, I rushed to make my decision and did not ask for help or discuss it with anyone. It’s the one thing we as woman don’t ask for help with, why is that? We talk to our friends or family about other decisions we make, but why not this one?

I believe the enemy immediately swoops in and starts flooding our minds with all kinds of chaos, coupled with lies, peur, et l'anxiété. This combination is overwhelming to our minds, and we scramble to stop the noise in our heads so we can return to normal.

I did not have my abortion until my second trimester, but I had my mind made up immediately that I was going to have an abortion. I had to wait months to have my procedure because I didn’t follow protocol and ate before my first scheduled abortion and had to reschedule. I had to make two abortion appointments! Perhaps God was giving me a way to escape, but I wasn’t seeking His counsel. Instead, I felt justified in my decision to move forward with the abortion.

The reasons I used to justify my sin of abortion were the following: I believed the lie that my baby would be severely deformed because I was doing heavy drugs, drinking excessively, and smoking 2-3 packs of cigarettes per day. I was still in college in Ohio with no job and I thought, “I can’t have a child now!” I believed the father of the child would leave me to raise the child on my own.

But the biggest reason was that I was afraid to tell my parents. I regret that I did not have the courage to admit to my parents that I made a mistake and I needed help. I never gave them an opportunity to have a say in my decision because I took matters into my own hands. My fear and pride prevented me from telling the truth. I wish I had told them because I could have my 45-year-old son with me today. But I cannot go back and change my past. All I can do is learn from it and understand why this broken frightened woman could not tell her parents the truth.

I remember after watching the movie, “Unplanned”, I was at my laundry room sink and the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart, “Every child in the womb is mine.” Tears filled my eyes and I replied, “I know, Seigneur, and I robbed you of the baby in my womb and I am so sorry.”

Sin is never justified. Looking back at our first parents, Adam and Eve, we see they pointed their finger at someone else to justify their sin before God. The exchange is quite interesting, and we use the same tactics today. In Genesis Chapter 3, after Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, God called to them, “Where are you?” God called Adam by his name wanting him to confess his sin, but instead he justified his sin and accused the woman who God gave him. And Eve likewise accused the serpent. Instead of taking responsibility for their sins, they blamed someone else. Their pride prevented them from humbling themselves before God and repenting of their sin. My pride prevented me from asking my parents and God for help in my abortion decision. Instead, I listened to the devil, and I suffered for years as a result of my decision.

For you dear ones who have been abused, rejeté, and abandoned by those who were supposed to love and nurture you, the pain of what you endured just breaks my heart. It broke God’s too. God wants you healed. He is a good Father. He is kind, compassionate, affectueux, fidèle, and full of grace. He is not like your earthly family who are flawed and a product of their own destructive home environments. Your Father in heaven is perfect. Il est amour; it is His character.

We are here to help you make life-affirming, God-glorifying decisions in your lives. Proverbes 11:14b, “In the multitude of counselors, there is safety.” Please reach out if you are struggling with making good decisions that honor God. You can break the unhealthy destructive cycle and replace it with one that is pleasing to God and gives you peace in your soul.

Des questions à prendre à cœur:

1. What were your reasons for your abortion(s) that at the time you felt were justified? What were the lies you believed?

2. For those who have been abused, how did you justify this sin against you? What were the lies you believed?

3. What is the truth that God has shown you?

4. Comment pouvons-nous prier pour vous?

Veuillez nous contacter si vous avez besoin de parler. Vous pouvez m'envoyer un email à: toni@myashestobeauty.com. Please don’t suffer alone anymore. You have a community of women who are available to walk alongside you to help you.

Tu es aimé,

Toni