La historia de redención de Kelly (audio)
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Idolatría y codependencia (Parte 2)
Idolatría y codependencia (Parte 2)
By Toni Weisz/Recovery Tools
Escrituras: filipenses 4: 6-7
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Idolatry is the act of putting something or someone before God in our hearts or minds. Idols are obsessions that consume us. An idol can be a job, money, a sport or hobby, a relationship, or a physical problem; anything that we put before God.
I find myself at least once per year picking up the book by Suellen McDolly, “Codependency No More.” It’s a quick read chock full of great insight, tips, and reminders to help me stay on my side of the street. Lately, I find myself jumping in and trying to control outcomes and situations in order to keep my home life more stable and comfortable. I don’t like hearing harsh and judgmental comments from an individual, so I try to control what is said to that person so that I don’t have to hear those harsh comments.
What? When I stopped to think about it, I again realized I cannot control another person’s conversation. What was I doing? Huge red flags were waving before my eyes. I felt so convicted that I was getting too intertwined in an unhealthy way. The Lord brought this to my mind. And the next day as I was journaling, He let me know what I was doing was a sin, it’s unhealthy and destructive, and it will rob me of my peace and joy.
The bottom line is when I don’t trust God to take care of things, and I jump into control things, I am telling God I can do better and I don’t need Your help. He knows I am feeling anxious and fearful. Look at Abraham and Sarah; she jumped in ahead of God’s plan and made a mess of her life and even the world because of her sin of not trusting God. I don’t want to make that same mistake.
I used to try to save, rescate, fix, and help other people too much, and it was extremely unhealthy. It was something I learned from my home of origin; it helped me cope with things I had no control over. Now I see that I have to be very careful that I don’t fall into those unhealthy behavioral patterns.
Caballero, I recognize that I was trying to control things for my benefit so I could have peace in my home. That is wrong. I need to trust You and relinquish control to You completely. I surrender all to You. I pray You increase my faith and trust in You and leave the outcomes to You. I pray for this family member to have a soft heart and a desire to be in Your word daily. I believe a lot of this would change if he would do that, but I cannot control that either. All I can do is be an example of someone who is running hard after You, Caballero. Help me, Caballero, to keep my focus on You and You alone.
Preguntas para tomar en serio:
- Are you fearful and anxious and trying to control things?
- What is God leading you to do?
- Cómo podemos orar por ti?
Please reach out if you need to talk this week: toni@myashestobeauty.com.
To read Part 1 of Idolatry and Codependency:
https://myashestobeauty.com/idolatry-and-codependency-tonis-blog-abortion-recovery-and-abuse-support-group/
Eres amado,
Toni
De regreso Blogs
El encubrimiento
El encubrimiento
Por Toni Weisz/Disciplinas espirituales
Escrituras: 2 Samuel 11 and Numbers 32:23C
Have you ever covered up sin with more sin like David did in 2 Samuel when he had Uriah the Hittite killed?
When I found myself pregnant at 21, I panicked and thought, “I have to keep this a secret. How can I get rid of this problem quickly?” I made the plan, but I finally did not have my abortion until December 10, 1980, after I botched my first abortion appointment by not following protocol. This caused me to have to go home for Thanksgiving from college pregnant. God gave me several ways to escape my abortion, but I did not take them. I was convinced by the evil one that this was my only option.
Devising evil plans to cover up sin never has a good outcome. Look what happened to David’s baby with Bathsheba, and Uriah and the men who died with him, as a result of David’s sin. What about all the servants that knew about David’s adulterous affair? He caused many to stumble spiritually and to participate in his plans, and even Joab the commander of his army helped to secure Uriah’s death in battle.
Sin is all consuming, and if we allow it, it will destroy us and many other people.
“And be sure your sin will find you out.” (Numbers 32:23C)
God sees everything. Entonces, when we think we are getting away with something, we are not; it is a lie from the devil, because God knows.
The best thing we can do is go running to God immediately and confess and repent. Perhaps even before we fall into sin and temptation, stop for a moment and pray. Consider the outcome of our decision.
Is it a good one? Does it glorify God or the evil one? Ask for help.
Preguntas para tomar en serio:
- When have you sinned and tried to cover it up with another sin?
- What was the outcome?
- How did God restore you afterwards?
- Cómo podemos orar por ti?
Please reach out if you need prayer or help overcoming the sins from your past and the destruction it has left behind in your life and in the lives of others. You can email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.
Eres amado,
Toni
De regreso Blogs
Un tiempo para alabar al Señor
Un tiempo para alabar al Señor
por Toni Weisz/Herramientas de recuperación
Escrituras: Joshua 4:6b-7, Revelación 12:11, Salmo 118:29, 28:7, 40:3, 150:6, and Isaiah 43:18-19
In the Book of Joshua, Chapter 4, we see God commanded the children of Israel to set up a memorial of remembrance for what He had done for them. These memorials were to be shared with future generations so they could see what amazing miraculous things God had done for them. I believe it is important for us to look back as well to see where we’ve come from and remember all the wondrous things the Lord has done for us.
Let’s look back over this past year, and let’s share all the wonderful things God has done for us and our families. There is power in our testimonies. We read in Revelation 12:11a, “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.” Tell others the wondrous and amazing things that God has done for you. Hay poder en tu testimonio. We don’t know how our testimony can encourage someone else who is feeling hopeless, solo, and defeated. Your words can be the very thing they need to hear to encourage them and help them through a very dark time.
Let’s share some Scriptures that speak about our thanks to God for all His blessings.
Oh, give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good! For his mercy endures forever! Salmo 118:29
The Lord is my strength and my shield: my heart trusted in Him, and I am helped. Por lo tanto, my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him. Salmo 28:7
And He has put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it and fear, and shall trust in the Lord. Salmo 40:3
But You are holy, enthroned in the praises of Israel. Salmo 22:3
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Salmo 150:6
I could go on and on praising the Lord with more Scriptures that speak about His wonderful attributes and His great love for us, but now I would like to share a brief testimony.
God gave me this verse for 2025 from Isaiah 43:18-19, “No os acordéis de las cosas pasadas, ni considerar las cosas de antaño. Behold I will do a new thing, ahora brotará, ¿No lo sabrás?? Incluso haré camino en el desierto y ríos en el desierto”.
In January, during a time of fasting and prayer, I started a new prayer journal, different from all previous years. I was desperate to hear from God, and we needed Him to move mightily on the behalf of my family. I wrote down 20 petitions with Scriptures for each one. I thanked God in advance for answering my prayers, and I signed my name and dated each one.
Slowly over the past year, God has answered many of my petitions which has been so humbling and has brought me to tears. In September, my son was strong enough to travel on an airplane with his wife to see my parents. He finally received a diagnosis on October 10, 2025, for the illness he's had for four años.. My daughter, a single mom, has been blessed financially with a new job that started on November 9, 2025. God provided me with a part-time job this Wednesday, November 12, 2025.
In the ministry, we did dos STS post-abortion studies and dos Overcomers abuse studies. God raised up an army of godly courageous facilitators to help with our Bible studies this year. Gracias, ladies, for that. We've had 19 women on the call this year, which was our highest number ever. We just celebrated our 12th year of conference calls. We have over 3000 people from all over the world visit our website monthly. We had the opportunity to share our ministry at several churches and events here in Palm Beach, FL, in VA and NC. On Saturday, November 8, 2025, Grace and her new husband, mateo, were at Love Life’s 40th week and she shared her miraculous redemption story. mateo is the father of her aborted baby. Seven years after the abortion, they married on October 24, 2025.
God has given us at My Ashes to Beauty the distinct honor to walk with women who have felt all alone and tormented by the evil one. They come into our safe community and they feel the love of Jesus in our actions and words. God’s Holy Spirit is present on our conference calls and in our Bible studies. His fingerprints are all over this ministry, because it is His.
Please share a Scripture verse and a brief testimony about 3-5 minutes of what God has done in your life this year. We want to praise the Lord and thank Him for His abundant blessings.
To those who’ve been on the conference calls and also those reading online, thank you. I am so grateful to God for all of you.
I wish you and your families a very Blessed Thanksgiving.
You can reach out to me via email en:
toni@myashestobeauty.com
Eres amado,
Toni
De regreso Blogs
Mis mecanismos de afrontamiento poco saludables
Mis mecanismos de afrontamiento poco saludables
by Toni Weisz/Abuse Recovery
Escrituras: Hebreos 13:5C, Romanos 12:1-2, John 8:31-32 and Zephaniah 3:17
Romanos 12:1-2
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good and acceptable perfect will of God.
John 8:31-32
Entonces Jesús dijo a los judíos que le creían., “If you abide in my word, ustedes son mis discípulos en verdad. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”
Los mecanismos de afrontamiento se definen como técnicas que utilizamos para ayudarnos a afrontar el estrés., dolor, y traumas que hemos experimentado en nuestras vidas.
Mecanismos de afrontamiento poco saludables:
- Evitación y aislamiento
- Drogas y alcohol
- Negación
- Ocupación
- Racionalización
- Control
From my childhood, I learned evitación y aislamiento para mantenerme a salvo de personas o situaciones no saludables. Running and hiding is what I learned as a small child, and I still used those tactics as an adult until I got into recovery and learned new healthy coping mechanisms. Alabado sea el Señor!
Instead of avoidance, God gave me a voice, and I learned to communicate my likes and dislikes. I never developed a voice growing up, but once I put up boundaries, Usar mi voz era necesario para comunicar esos límites a los demás.. Conforme el tiempo fue pasando, Me sentí más cómoda compartiendo mi corazón con los demás sin miedo al rechazo.. Dios también me dijo que dejara de correr y esconderme y que le dejara el resultado a Él..
comencé a usar alcohol y drogas en 12 años cuando no recibía la atención saludable que necesitaba en casa. Decidí empezar a tomar el asunto en mis propias manos., which was a defining moment in my life. As a result of that choice, I would run to other things other than God when I was hurting. Sólo quería una solución rápida para evitar el dolor que había acumulado toda mi vida.. Usé a la gente y les permití que me usaran.. Mi vida se llenó de arrepentimiento, miedo al rechazo, depresión, suicidal thoughts, and self-hatred. Doy gracias a Dios por tener misericordia de esta mujer rota.. He saved me from my self-destructive lifestyle. Ahora corro hacia Jesús para que me quite el dolor.. He is the only one who will never leave me nor forsake me (Árbitro. Hebreos 13:5C).
Yo estaba en negación about the dysfunction in my home of origin and my home with my husband and children for many years until I realized I cannot control another person and that doing anything out of fear never ends well. I don’t have the power to change another person; only God does. Entonces, Cedo el control a Dios para cambiar a otros o situaciones cuando me siento impotente. I was in denial due to my fear of rejection from my parents and spouse, so I obeyed ridiculous rules to be accepted and loved by others, pero eso nunca funcionó. When I finally received the love of Jesus in my heart, then I had the courage to stand on my own without fear of rejection from others because I knew God was with me, always.
Ocupación Fue una herramienta que el enemigo usó conmigo durante décadas.. His purpose was to keep me so busy that I would not have time to recognize my dysfunctional life. My striving for love and acceptance, even from God, kept me working so hard to feel worthy. Nunca me detuve lo suficiente para evaluar mi vida., mis decisiones, mis relaciones, mi visión poco saludable de mí mismo, Dios, y otros. estaba tan arruinado, but I could not see that until God showed me my ways were not working.
De nuevo en 2010, Estaba tan deprimida que le pedí a Dios que me llevara a casa porque solo quería morir.. Y él dijo, “¿Crees que puedo cambiar las cosas para tu bien??"
I said, "Sí, Caballero, I believe that.”
el dijo, “TRUST ME.”
After that, I got into ACA recovery work and an inner healing group for five years. God was exposing the lies with His truth. I was learning about boundaries and what that looks like, and He showed me that I was enabling abuse from others by not using my voice. God had me stop from all serving at church and First Care because I was that sick and needed God to intervene to heal me. God was so faithful and put the right people in my path, and I was healed and set free from all the dysfunction in my life and started experiencing true peace and freedom in Christ. In January 2013, comencé este ministerio. Alabado sea!!! Gracias, Jesús.
I racionalizado mi abuso, Pensar que no debo ser una persona valiosa o los demás me tratarían de manera diferente.. Después de mi aborto, El enemigo me dijo que merecía ser abusada por mi decisión de abortar a mi hijo.. My husband was very controlling, and my children and I were required to obey ridiculous rules. I rationalized in my head that if I didn’t obey those rules, he would leave me. El enemigo usó esa mentira durante décadas para mantenerme en cautiverio y en un ambiente hogareño muy insalubre.. I am thankful for the day I had courage to say, "No, I am not going to follow these rules,” and leave the outcome in God’s hands.
Ya no tenía miedo de que se fuera. I trusted God to take care of me, and He did. Mi relación con mi marido ahora es mejor que nunca.. I now know that I am loved and valued by God and that He doesn’t want me to accept abusive treatment from anyone; No merezco que abusen de mí a pesar de mis malas decisiones en el pasado.. Él me ama y quiere que use mi voz para establecer límites saludables y protegerme de personas y situaciones no saludables.. No puedo cambiar mi pasado. All I can do is learn from it and share my experience, fortaleza, y esperanza con los demás para que tal vez puedan tomar decisiones saludables.
Control fue una herramienta que aprendí a usar cuando era muy joven. Sinceramente, creía que podía controlar cómo se sentían los demás., lo que hacen, y que podría controlar el resultado. que todo era mentira. No tenía control sobre ninguna de esas cosas.. Las áreas que traté de controlar fueron cómo reaccionaban y se comportaban las personas hacia mí.. I tried to control what others saw in me by wearing a mask, and I also tried to control how much I weighed by taking speed, píldoras de dieta, y purgarme después de haber comido demasiado. Dios me mostró al cederle el control que puedo ser liberado de estas obsesiones y tormentos.. He taught me to love myself just the way I am and to relinquish all control to Him because He will never harm me.
I am so grateful for the day I was set free from all my unhealthy coping mechanisms. I have learned new skills to help me cope with the pain and trauma from my past. Tuve que entregar completamente todo y a todos a Dios.. Ya no me importaba lo que los demás pensaran de mí.. No obedecí reglas ridículas por miedo a ser rechazado., I now had a voice, and God has taught me how to use it to express my feelings in a healthy godly way. Ya no estoy esclavizado por mis viejos pensamientos y mis viejos patrones de comportamiento.. I truly have become a new creation in Christ, with God’s help and by renewing my mind daily.
En romanos 12:2, the Bible says do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
El tiempo diario que paso con Dios en Su Palabra y escuchar al Espíritu Santo me ha ayudado a salir del caos., disfunción, y la miseria en una paz, joyful, y vida plena.
Preguntas para tomar en serio:
- What have you used in the past to help you cope with the trauma you have experienced in your life?
- How did you break those unhealthy destructive behaviors?
- What are some healthy things you do now to help you cope in a godly way?
- Cómo podemos orar por ti?
Espero que este tema te haya sido útil.. Por favor comuníquese si necesita hablar: toni@myashestobeauty.com.
I will leave you with one of my favorite verses:
Zephaniah 3:17
The Lord your God in your midst, the mighty One will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.
Eres amado,
Toni
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