Miedo vs Fe

Miedo vs Fe

El blog de Luci

John 16:33, John 14:27, and 2nd Timothy 1:7

Cuando era una niña pequeña, I feared so much in my life, especially in my home where I should have felt safe. I can remember fear always being with me. At a very young age, while laying in my crib my older brother would come in and silently hover over my face, to frighten me. For years he tormented me in so many ways, including sexual molestation when I was an adolescent but no one came to my rescue. My parents were mostly present but unaware; they were not able to care for us individually since there were so many of us; I had 14 brothers & sisters. They were busy working, training us to do household chores, taking care of the home and keeping us afloat. My mom was not a communicator and didn’t engage in individual conversation with us. And my father was a very angry man who took his frustration out on us kids, so in fear I hid from him when he came home from work. But that was not always an option.

A lo largo de los años, I learned that if others saw my fear, they would take advantage of and sometimes prey on me. Eventually I learned to mask my fear with a false persona of self-confidence to prevent anyone from getting too close and hurting me emotionally. I worked really hard to provide for myself and created a perception that I could overcome any threat that came into my life; I was convinced, I could protect myself. This worked as long as I was able to control my environment. But that is not reality. We know there are many situations we can’t control, including our relationships with others!

Into my early teens my life spiraled out of control with promiscuity, broken relationships, drug and alcohol abuse until I came to the point that I lost what sliver of hope I had and felt an overwhelming sense of despair. Fear ruled my thoughts and no matter how hard I tried to bury it; it was always present in my heart. I continued on this destructive path, trying to bury the pain, until one day I found myself pregnant and this situation stopped me in my tracks! I feared that my lifestyle would be exposed, I was ashamed and feared what others would think of me. I was single, in my 20’s and didn’t really know the father, so I had an abortion. That is when I found myself unable to cope with my decisions, especially the one that took the life of my child. This choice brought me to a point of extreme crisis. I couldn’t move past this decision which was always in my thoughts and defined who I had become.

During the time span of my disfunction, from the age of 14, I can remember followers of Jesus telling me about Him, but I was afraid of getting involved in what I thought was the rigid religion I grew up in that had nothing to offer me except judgement. For 11 years Jesus sought me out and one day, ironically, 9 months after my abortion, He opened my eyes to see His truth and, on that day, I asked forgiveness for all my sins and invited Him to be my Lord and Savior. As I began to walk with Him and explore the bible, I read that He would care for me and that I could exchange my fear for faith in Him, and in His promises!

As a new Christian, just learning about the ways of God and who I was in Him, I continued to operate out of fear. But over time, I came to understand that fear and faith cannot co-exist. One will always negate the other. This was a life changing truth for me!

For the past two or so weeks we’ve been listening to the world and experts tell us to, “Be afraid, fear for our health, the health of our family members, the economy, losing our jobs, not having enough to sustain us, to avoid all social contact, that things are going to get much worse, that there is a silent killer among us!"

The government entities have closed down the parks, escuelas, restaurants, businesses and more. The stock market is plummeting and the world is reacting in panic, wondering what the future holds for them and their children. Many are selfishly hoarding goods in the event they have to be quarantined. There is uncertainty all around us. While I’m very aware of what’s happening and that we have good cause to experience this fear and concern, I want to share 2 perspectives that I hope will help us put things into perspective.

And I heard Satan Say, “I will cause anxiety, fear and panic. I will shut down business, escuelas, places of worship, and sports events. I will cause economic turmoil. I will isolate them so I can more easily attack and cause great fear, so they will lose all hope.”

Luego, Jesus said: “I will bring together neighbors, restore the family unit, I will bring dinner back to the kitchen table, I will help people slow down and appreciate what really matters. I will teach my children to rest and rely upon me and not the world, their money, or possessions. I will provide for all their needs.”

What are you fearful of?

How do you respond when you cannot control your environment?

The Lord has given us His Word to show us how we can be encouraged through difficult times and not to react in fear.

We read in John 16:33, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you; not as the world gives do, I give to you. let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

2 Tim 1:7, “For God gave us not a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control.”

 

In Christ’s love,

Luces

De regreso Blogs de Luci

MY Wall—My Prison (Part Two)

MY Wall—My Prison (Part Two)

Mi muro, mi prisión (Part Two)

When Is it Safe to Let the Wall Down?

In Part 1, Mi muro, mi prisión, we talked about the walls we built around ourselves as children to protect us from others and how these walls became our prisons. We found ourselves cut off from everyone, alone and tormented by the enemy. So how do we start taking the walls down and feeling safe to share what we have been hiding all these years?

Primero, a relationship with God is extremely important. To have this relationship, the Bible says we must be born again. We become born again or saved when we ask God to forgive our sins through confession (Romanos 10:9) and repentance, which means turning away from our sins and turning to God (Lucas 5:32). We must also believe in our hearts that Jesus is the Son of God who died on the cross for our sins, was buried, and rose again on the third day (1 Corintios 15:3–4, Romanos 10:13). We then receive the gift of the Holy Spirit, The Spirit of Truth. He gives us the power to understand Scripture (John 14:17), convicts us of sin (John 16:8), and is our comforter, constant companion, and friend (John 14:16). It is through the power of the Holy Spirit that God connects with us in a deep and intimate way, making us a family.

My life changed dramatically when I finally received the love of God in my heart. I knew Jesus loved me, but I didn’t feel loved. I still believed the lies that I was unworthy to be loved by God, or anyone else for that matter, because of all my sins, especially my abortion. When the truth finally penetrated my heart, I was forever changed. I realized I was a child of God who was adopted into His family. He would never leave me nor forsake me. I was His, and I was bought by His precious blood on the cross for my sins. I am loved by God just the way I am. I am so grateful for this truth.

Second, I believe being in a Christ-centered community is critical for our healing. In this community, the Word of God is used along with the power of the Holy Spirit. Prayer and recovery tools are also used in this loving environment, creating a safe place to share.

I believe abortion breaks the very soul of a women into a million pieces. Those pieces, created by the trauma of having an abortion, can only be picked up and put back together by Jesus. We were designed by God to love, protect, and nurture our children; we did the opposite. This group is a safe place to share our hearts and our hurts without judgment or condemnation.

Por último, it is okay to still be protected from people who are unsafe emotionally and/or physically. God does not want His daughters abused. As God heals you and you become more confident, He will lead you to start sharing with those with whom you feel safe. This group is a good place to start sharing within a safe and loving community to build your confidence.

Healthy boundaries are necessary to keep us safe so we can have more fulfilling and meaningful relationships with others. On the other hand, holding on to secrets is not a good way to have deep and meaningful relationships. When you feel safe to do so, share your secrets so you can be set free, giving the enemy nothing to hold against you.

Preguntas

  1. Are you ready to let your wall down to let God in so you can receive the love and the help you need?
  2. Who are you praying about sharing your past with? Do you have a healthy relationship with this person? It’s okay to keep yourself protected, but do not allow the enemy to isolate you or put you back into the prison.

Eres amado,
Toni

Read Mi muro, mi prisión (Part One) AQUÍ.

 

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Mi muro, mi prisión (Part One)

Mi muro, mi prisión (Part One)

Mi muro, mi prisión (Part One)

Génesis 1:27, Génesis 2:7, John 8:44, and Luke 15:10

When I look back on my past and try to put all the pieces together, I remember being a very young child, hiding from my father’s anger. He was unpredictable, and I was frightened by him. En el momento, my mother was also struggling. En 23 años, she had rheumatoid arthritis and a husband who was a rageaholic. She would become extremely frustrated and take it out on us kids. It was an extremely difficult time for our family. It was at this point that I began building a wall to protect myself from getting hurt by others. I became very quiet and isolated. It was a way for me to stay out of trouble and the only way I knew how to control my unpredictable environment. Little did I know, this wall would become impenetrable, and I would become a prisoner of it.

Alone and isolated: This was exactly where the enemy wanted me to be so he could torment me and hold me captive, destroying my life. The devil hates anything that God has created, especially humans. He hates humans because we are made in the image of God (Génesis 1:27) and have living souls that connect with God on a deep level (Génesis 2:7). The devil wants humans to bow down and worship him instead of God. How does he accomplish this? He does this by isolating us and lying to us, like he did with me. I built a huge wall around myself, a wall that I did not know would ultimately become my prison cell. He was a murderer from the beginning, as well as a deceiver, liar, and the father of lies (John 8:44). It’s no wonder that he was behind the first sin when Adam and Eve fell in the garden, and also the first murder between their children, Cain and Abel. He is alive and well today in the abortion industry, convincing women that abortion is their only choice.

When I lived behind my wall, I could not receive the love I desperately needed because I was cut off from the rest of the world. When we isolate ourselves, the enemy attacks us the most. We have no one to turn to for love, fellowship, or help. We are alone, tormented by our thoughts and the lies of the enemy. I have learned from experience that when I feel like isolating myself and putting my wall up, I need to do the opposite. So I reach out to someone and ask for help. That’s how I protect myself from the fiery darts of the enemy. I pray this was helpful for you.

All hope is not lost. God performed a miracle on my behalf, and He can on yours too. He pursued and wooed this broken, solitario, and tormented woman. He made me feel safe enough to slowly peek out of the window of my prison cell to hear about the beauty of the Lord and see Him working in my husband’s life. I so desperately wanted to feel loved and connected with another person in a deep and meaningful way. I have heard it said that God created us with a God-shaped hole in each of our hearts. We try to fill this hole with the things of this world, yet only He can fill it.

What I really needed was a Savior: someone who would love me, pursue me, sacrifice His life for me, and tell me I was worth the cost. I was waiting for my prince to come and rescue me, and He did. His name is Jesus, my Savior, my friend, and my Lord. He rescued me from the clutches of the enemy, and I am forever in His debt. I will serve Him all the days of my life, and I will be with Him forever in glory when I pass from this life to the next.

Preguntas

  1. Have you put up a wall to protect yourself?
  2. Are you still hiding behind that wall?
  3. Are you ready to give God a try and lower your wall, so that He can heal you and love you?
  4. Have you asked Jesus to forgive your sins?Do you believe that He is the sinless, Son of God who died on the cross for your sins, rose from the dead on the third day, and is now sitting at the right hand of the Father in Heaven? If you have not, then today is the day of salvation. The angels rejoice over one sinner that repents (Lucas 15:10).

Please let us know how we can help you on your healing journey.

Eres amado,
Toni

 

Read My Wall—My Prison (Part Two) AQUÍ
When Is It Safe to Let My Wall Down?

 

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Mi máscara de perfección

Mi máscara de perfección

Click Here for the Spanish Version!

From the time I was a small child, I did not use my voice and hid in the background to keep under the radar. Como resultado, I became what people wanted me to be. I was labeled, “The good, quiet one.” I was fearful of rejection, so I became a people pleaser. I believed the lie that if I were perfect, I would be loved. That’s when I started wearing a mask.

My need for love and acceptance caused me to hide parts of myself. I only showed the good sides so people would love me. Luego, when I was 12 años, I started sneaking whiskey from my parents’ liquor cabinet. Ahora, I was really hiding. I didn’t want my parents to find out. They were very strict with me being the oldest, and I didn’t want them to be angry or disappointed in me.

As I got older, my sins were more and more grievous, and my secrets became bigger and bigger. Entonces, I isolated even more and hid everything. My mask morphed as I got older. As a child, I strived for perfection. I was a good student, good athlete, and an all-around good child. When that wasn’t working, I tapped into a lifestyle of alcohol, drugs and sex. When I was home, I was still the good one. But in high school, I was hanging out with those who smoked and did drugs.

At this point, people pleasing ruled my life. All I strove for were accolades from others and a place I could fit in and feel safe. But I would not find that for a long time. Honestly, I lost my own identity because I wanted to fit in with others. I no longer knew what I liked or what I wanted to do because I became a chameleon and changed depending upon the group I was with. I had lost my own identity striving to please others.

I felt unloved and lost. My drinking and drug use were out of control. I was a walking time bomb. I hated myself and felt so depressed. I struggled with keeping it all together. When I found out I was pregnant as a 21-year-old college student, I panicked. This pregnancy did not fit the narrative I was allowing my parents to see. I was not the good, una tranquila. I was doing very ungodly, sinful destructive things, and now I was going to terminate my baby’s life.

How did I end up here? My whole life was a lie. I will have an abortion and act as if everything was fine. But everything wasn’t fine. After this traumatic event, I was more depressed than before, crying all the time and drinking more. My self-loathing and suicidal thoughts were now continually plaguing me. I just wanted to die so this torment would stop. It was too hard to keep up this façade. Slowly my mask was cracking, and I was so afraid of being exposed. All my sins and lies would come flooding out. I was scared.

In my early 30’s I had a physical and emotional break down. I could not function normally at all. I would lay on the couch for weeks at a time. All the years of stuffing and lying and all the pain I had been holding in all my life were starting to come out sideways. I was a walking volcano, spilling hot ash on anyone who got in my way. I was extremely emotional. I felt I could not look anyone in the eyes because if I did, I would not be able to stop crying.

Slowly I started recognizing I needed help. I needed someone who would love me, accept me, and heal me. I needed a Savior. Then on January 2, 1994, Escuché el evangelio por primera vez. Within 4 weeks I gave my heart to Jesus, confessed my sins, turned from my old ways and turned toward God. I am coming up on the 26th anniversary of my salvation, and it is still the sweetest day of my life. It is the day I finally surrendered my life to God and allowed Him to heal my broken body, my broken heart and my broken mind. He transformed me into the woman He created me to be: a loving, confident woman filled with joy and peace. I have been adopted into the family of God; Soy aceptado, and I am finally loved. I feel safe to be me. I can take the mask off now because I am finally home.

Are you wearing a mask?

What does your mask look like?

Do you have the courage to take off the mask and be real?

I pray that as God heals you, you will be filled with His love and you will have the courage to take off your mask.

Bendiciones,

Toni

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Las piedras conmemorativas: Recordando lo que Dios ha hecho

Las piedras conmemorativas: Recordando lo que Dios ha hecho

Vemos varias veces en las Escrituras que Dios ordenó a los hijos de Israel que establecieran un monumento en memoria de lo que había hecho por ellos.. Estos memoriales debían compartirse con las generaciones futuras para que pudieran ver lo que Dios había hecho por ellos.. Creo que es importante para nosotros mirar atrás también, para ver de dónde venimos y recordar lo que el Señor ha hecho por nosotros.

Piense en un tiempo antes de conocer al Señor. Cuando caminabas en el camino de este mundo y vivías tu vida para ti y tus propios deseos egoístas..

¿Cómo era tu vida antes de Cristo?? Cuénteles a los demás las cosas maravillosas y asombrosas que Dios ha hecho por usted.. Hay poder en tu testimonio. Oro para que Dios te guíe a compartir esto con los demás..

Cuando yo estaba 12 años, Decidí el, La persona de "buena tranquilidad" no me funcionaba. No estaba recibiendo la atención que anhelaba. Entonces, Decidí tomar otro camino, uno que conduciría al autodesprecio, adiccion, y destrucción. Estaba cegado e inconsciente del mal que me haría a mí mismo y a los demás.. Mis elecciones destructivas malsanas solo se intensificarían con la edad y se volverían cada vez más penosas a medida que me sumergía de lleno en el consumo de drogas y alcohol., promiscuidad, de fumar, y finalmente un aborto.

Solo queria ser amado, pero en cambio fui usado y abusado e hice lo mismo con los demás. Continuaría en este camino autodestructivo hasta que estuviera 34 años. Luego, un dia de enero 1994 en una pequeña iglesia bautista, Escuché el evangelio por primera vez: Jesús nació de una virgen, vivió una vida sin pecado, fue crucificado en la cruz por mis pecados y los pecados del mundo entero, fue sepultado y resucitó al tercer día y ascendió al cielo y ahora está sentado a la diestra del Padre. Fue su amor por mí y por ti lo que lo mantuvo clavado en esa cruz. (1 Corintios 15:3-6, Hechos 1:9, Romanos 8:34)

No merezco su amor, pero es el regalo más dulce que me han dado. He sido perdonado de mi deuda por el pecado y he sido liberado para vivir la vida que Él me creó para vivir.. Me siento tan humilde y agradecida con Jesús por su trabajo y por mi relación con él.. Soy una nueva creación en cristo; las cosas viejas pasaron, Mirad, lo nuevo ha llegado. (2 Corintios 5:17) Tengo una nueva vida, un nuevo propósito, y un canto nuevo en mi corazón gracias a Jesús.

Joshua 4:1-7

“Y sucedió, cuando toda la gente había cruzado completamente el Jordán, que el Señor le habló a Josué, diciendo: “Tomen para ustedes doce hombres del pueblo, un hombre de cada tribu, y ordenarles, diciendo, "Tomen para ustedes doce piedras de aquí, de en medio del Jordán, del lugar donde los pies de los sacerdotes estaban firmes. Los llevarás contigo y los dejarás en el lugar de alojamiento donde te alojes esta noche. ”Entonces Josué llamó a los doce hombres que había designado de entre los hijos de Israel., un hombre de cada tribu; y Joshua les dijo: “Pasa delante del arca del Señor tu Dios al medio del Jordán, y cada uno toma una piedra en su hombro, según el número de las tribus de los hijos de Israel, que esto pueda ser una señal entre ustedes cuando sus hijos pregunten en el futuro, diciendo, "¿Qué significan estas piedras para ti??Entonces les responderás que las aguas del Jordán fueron cortadas delante del arca del pacto del Señor.; cuando cruzó el Jordán, las aguas del Jordán fueron cortadas. Y estas piedras serán en memoria de los hijos de Israel para siempre ”.

En su amor y servicio,

—Toni

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