Les limites - pourquoi sont-elles si importantes?

Les limites - pourquoi sont-elles si importantes?

Psaume 34:18, Jérémie 29:11, John 3:16

Personal boundaries, as defined by Psychology today, “Are the limits we set with other people, which indicate what we will accept and what we consider unacceptable behavior towards us. To know our boundaries comes from a healthy view of ourselves.” When that view is distorted due to emotional trauma as children (whether we did not get the love and care from our family which is a Type A Trauma or we were sexually, emotionally, or physically abused as children which is Type B Trauma). All these experiences as children cause us to have a distorted view of ourselves, Dieu, and others and it prevents us from maturing into healthy stable adults. (Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You, A Life Model Book)

This distorted view of ourselves especially those of us who have had abortions opens up the door to all kinds of unhealthy and destructive behavior. God created women to love and nurture their children and then we did the opposite. Our hopes and dreams as young girls are dashed, and we are now open to all kinds of unhealthy destructive coping mechanisms and ungodly behavior to deal with our pain. Our very souls are tormented and we feel desperately alone, depressed and even suicidal.

So how can we stop this destructive cycle of accepting and enabling unhealthy behavior from others? D'abord, we must realize we have a Savior and a friend who is the lover of our soul, and His name is Jesus. He is the only one that can heal our broken spirits, our broken bodies and our broken minds. Psaume 34:18 ESV “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves the crushed in spirit.” He is the only one that can take the disaster we have made of our lives and restore order and peace. And He alone can give us a new hope, new dreams, un nouveau but, and a new life. Jérémie 29:11 NKJV, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, dit le Seigneur, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

In childhood, I did not learn what healthy boundaries look like. I became a people pleaser at a very young age and as a result I allowed people to take advantage of me and treat me very poorly and I never said a word. I wondered why I never truly felt loved by others; what was it? I was allowing all kinds of unhealthy behavior because I didn’t love and respect myself, surtout après mon avortement. I now despised myself. I didn’t understand why others didn’t treat me with love, kindness and compassion. I realized they cannot give what they do not have. But that took many decades for me to come to that understanding. I also recognized that they did the best they could with what they had and I released them into God’s Hands and started praying for and forgave them.

We all have our wounds and issues from our past, which causes us to be self-consumed and blinded, and we cannot see how we are hurting others closest to us. Only God can give us awareness and the courage to stop accepting unacceptable behavior and establish healthy boundaries. For the first time, I used my voice to explain my boundaries and insist they be respected. There was some push back but I was not going to waiver. D'abord, putting up boundaries is hard to do. But as God heals us, we get stronger, bolder and more courageous, and we no longer want to just exist, we want to experience the abundant life Jesus came to give us. The first step in recovery is recognizing my life is unmanageable and I need God to help me.

Très Cher, I want you to know that God loves you so much that He sent His Son to die on the cross for you. (John 3:16) Have you received this gift of love and forgiveness from God? If not you can do that today? If you do know the Lord, then ask Him to help you to love yourself and to have courage to put up boundaries and no longer accept unhealthy behavior. He will help you if you ask Him, He did it for me and I know He will do it for you too.

 

 

Bénédictions,

Toni

En savoir plus sur les articles de blog de Toni ici!

La tromperie de l'égoïsme

La tromperie de l'égoïsme

Genèse 3:6, Luc 1:38, 2 Corinthiens 12:9, et Hébreux 12:2

L'égoïsme est consumé par des pensées concernant soi-même et par le fait de ne pas se soucier des autres et des conséquences de nos actions sur une autre personne.. Le péché est agréable pendant une saison, mais c'est très destructeur pour nous et pour ceux qui nous aiment et prennent soin de nous.

Où a commencé l'égoïsme? Tout a commencé avec Adam et Eve dans le jardin, dans le chapitre de la Genèse 3:6 nous lisons, "Et quand la femme vit que l'arbre était bon à manger, et que c'était agréable aux yeux, et un arbre à désirer pour devenir sage, elle en a pris le fruit, et j'ai mangé, et donna aussi à son mari avec elle, et il a mangé. Le désir d’Ève d’être comme Dieu connaissant le bien et le mal l’a amenée à devenir égocentrique et à ne penser qu’à ce que cela pourrait faire pour elle et non à ce que le péché aurait sur sa relation avec Dieu ou son mari.. Elle n'avait aucune idée que son péché plongerait toute l'humanité dans le péché., désespoir, et la mort. Peut-être que si elle avait réfléchi une seconde avant de prendre le fruit, attends, Dieu m'a dit de ne pas faire ça, Il m'aime et m'a fourni tout ce dont j'avais besoin. Pourquoi irais-je contre lui? Le diable l’a amenée à douter de l’amour de Dieu. Au lieu de cela, elle sentait qu'elle avait le droit, c'était son droit à ça, et Dieu lui retenait quelque chose de bon. Mais la vérité était qu'il l'aimait tellement qu'il la protégeait, parce qu'Il savait la destruction qui résulterait de son choix. Tout comme avec nous quand nous avons eu nos avortements. Dieu nous a donné un moyen de nous échapper, mais non, nous avions pris notre décision et nous faisions ça! Pendant tout ce temps, son cœur se brisait pour nous parce qu'il savait que nos âmes seraient brisées en un million de morceaux et que nous serions dévastés et dévastés., nous aurions du mal avec notre choix pendant de nombreuses années à venir. Dieu nous permet de faire nos propres choix, tout comme il l'a fait avec Ève.. Dieu veut que nous choisissions de l’aimer et de lui obéir.

J'ai eu une conversation avec une femme pro-choix, et pendant que nous parlions, elle a dit combien elle aimait les enfants et qu'ils étaient un cadeau. Et j'ai pensé, comment peut-elle aimer les enfants tout en étant pro-choix? Puis je me suis rendu compte qu'elle avait adhéré à l'idéologie féministe.. Le mensonge que le féminisme dit aux femmes est, c'est ton corps et ton droit d'avorter. Ils ne veulent pas avoir de comptes à rendre à Dieu, ils veulent avoir le contrôle. Ils veulent décider de ce qui est bien ou mal pour eux et ils veulent être comme Dieu., tout comme Eve l'a fait. Le monde leur dit tout ce qui leur fait du bien, fais-le, tu le mérites. Ils ont mis leurs désirs égoïstes au contrôle et se sont transformés en petits dieux « g », avoir le contrôle de son propre corps et de son destin. Ils ne voient pas que l'avortement met fin à la vie. Au lieu de cela, ils y voient une démarche égoïste et d’auto-préservation et ils ont le courage de le faire.. Et ils se mettent en colère quand quelqu'un essaie de leur retirer le contrôle. Parce qu'au fond, ils savent que c'est un bébé, mais ils préfèrent sacrifier la vie de leur enfant pour leurs désirs égoïstes.

Il y a une autre femme dans la Bible, qui avait le choix d'être égoïste ou d'obéir à Dieu. Elle s'appelait Marie, la mère de Jésus. Lorsqu'elle s'est retrouvée enceinte du Saint-Esprit alors qu'elle était adolescente célibataire, elle a risqué sa vie parce qu'elle aurait dû être lapidée, quelle était la loi; sinon elle aurait été divorcée de son fiancé Joseph. Mais au lieu de cela, elle fut courageuse et dit à l'Ange de Luc : 1:38, « Voici la servante du Seigneur! Qu'il me soit fait selon ta parole. Je prie pour que nous regardions Marie comme notre exemple, une femme de courage qui aimait et obéissait à Dieu, surtout quand c'était dur, ou peu pratique, ou difficile; elle n'a jamais hésité. Elle nous a montré que la grâce de Dieu est suffisante et que nous pouvons être victorieux, si nous gardons les yeux fixés sur Jésus, l'auteur et le consommateur de notre foi.

Repenser à votre propre avortement, comment étais-tu égoïste?
De quelles manières faites-vous maintenant confiance à Dieu et souhaitez-vous lui obéir?

 

Bénédictions,

Toni

En savoir plus sur les articles de blog de Toni ici!

Pensée puante: Justification - Justifier mon péché

Pensée puante: Justification - Justifier mon péché

Pensée puante: Justification - Justifier mon péché

Genèse 3: 8-13 and Proverbs 11:14b

And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.” And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?” Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” And the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

La pensée puante fait référence aux pensées négatives qui nous tourmentent surtout lorsque nous sommes HALT: Affamé, En colère, Solitaire ou fatigué; des pensées telles qu'une vision déformée de Dieu et de soi, pensée négative, justification, peur, et l'anxiété. Nous aborderons chacun de ces sujets afin de pouvoir discerner les mensonges auxquels nous avons cru au fil des années et les remplacer par la vérité de Dieu.. Notre objectif est de vous équiper pour que vous puissiez remporter la victoire dans ces domaines.

I define justification, more specifically justifying sin, as the belief that I am making a right or reasonable decision, when in fact the opposite is true. I have heard almost every excuse to justify a woman’s choice for an abortion; I had several myself. I allowed the enemy to isolate me and to lie to me, just like he did to Adam and Eve when they ate the forbidden fruit and sinned against God. As a result of my sin, I rushed to make my decision and not ask for help or discuss it with anyone. It’s the one thing we as woman don’t ask for help with, why is that? We talk to our friends or family about other decisions we make, but why not this one? I believe the enemy immediately swoops in and starts flooding our minds with all kinds of chaos, coupled with lies, peur, et l'anxiété. This combination is overwhelming to our minds and we scramble to stop the noise in our heads so we can return to normal. I did not have my abortion until my second trimester, but I had my mind made up immediately I was going to have an abortion. I had to wait months to have my procedure because I didn’t follow protocol and ate before my first scheduled abortion so I had to reschedule. I had to make 2 abortion appointments! Perhaps God was giving me a way to escape, but I wasn’t seeking His counsel. Instead I felt justified in my decision to move forward with the abortion.

The reasons I used to justify my abortion were the following: I believed the lie that my baby would be severely deformed because I was doing heavy drugs, drinking excessively, and smoking 2-3 packs of cigarettes per day. I was still in college in Ohio with no job and I thought I can’t have a child now! I believed the father of the child would leave me to raise the child on my own. But the biggest reason was that I was afraid to tell my parents. I regret that I did not have the courage to admit to my parents that I made a mistake. I never gave them an opportunity to have a say in my decision because I took matters into my own hands. My fear and pride prevented me from telling the truth, I wish I would have told them, because I could have my 40-year-old son with me today. But I cannot go back and change my past, all I can do is learn from it and understand why this broken frightened woman could not tell her parents the truth. I remember when after watching the movie, “Unplanned”, I was at my laundry room sink and the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart, “Every child in the womb is mine,” tears filled my eyes and I replied, “I know Lord and I robbed you of the baby in my womb and I am so sorry.”

Sin is never justified. Looking back at our first parents, Adam and Eve. We see they pointed their finger at someone else to justify their sin before God. The exchange is quite interesting and we use the same tactics today. In Genesis 3, after Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit, God is calling to them, “Where are you?” God called Adam by his name wanting him to confess his sin but instead he justified his sin and accused the woman who God gave him, and Eve likewise accusing the serpent. Instead of taking responsibility for their sins, they blamed someone else. Their pride prevented them from humbling themselves before God and repenting of their sin. My pride prevented me from asking my parents and God for help in my abortion decision. Instead I listened to the devil, and I suffered for years as a result of my decision.

We are here to help you make life affirming God glorifying decisions in your lives. Proverbes 11:14b, “In the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Please reach out if you are struggling with making good decisions.

May I ask you a few questions?

What were your reasons for your abortion(s), that at the time you felt were justified?

How do you see your decision-making process now?

What were the lies you believed?

What is the truth that God has shown you?

 

Bénédictions,

Toni

En savoir plus sur les articles de blog de Toni ici!

Pourquoi les femmes ont-elles peur de partager leur secret d'avortement

Pourquoi les femmes ont-elles peur de partager leur secret d'avortement

Why are we fearful to share our abortion secret?
John 10:8-11

What is holding Christian women back from admitting this sin and coming forward to ask for healing? Why do women in leadership feel they cannot share they had an abortion? Will their ministries be less effective? I don’t think so. I truly believe when women in leadership come forward and admit this publicly, it gives the rest of the women sitting in the group or congregation, permission to come out and share as well.

The stats provided by Care Net tell us 4 out of 10 women identify as Christians and attend church at least once a month. These women are the first to have an abortion for fear of being found out. The enemy lies to them and tells them they have to take care of this quickly because they are a Pastor’s wife, or daughter, or they are in leadership; it has to be a secret and no one can find out. Alors, they quickly go to the abortion clinic and have an abortion. Afterwards they are a mess emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. This is wrong!!! The church and Christians should be the first ones to say we are here to help you, please do not terminate your child’s life because you made a mistake. There are other life affirming options available. That’s what the MLD course through Care Net does. It equips believers to come along side these women and men, to give them information about abortion and the life affirming alternatives, to pray with them, to share the Gospel with them, that Jesus died on the cross for them so they can have freedom, forgiveness of sins, and a new life; and to walk with them on this journey so they don’t feel all alone. This cycle of death in the church needs to stop and I pray Pastors and leaders’ eyes will be opened to this truth, and they will be willing to do something about it.

John 10:8-11 says "All who ever came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not hear them. I am the door, if anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief does not come but to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep."

The enemy hates everything that God created, especially his most beautiful creation mankind, because we are created in His image and are given a living Spirit. God created us to have a relationship with Him. But He gave us a free will also. The enemy, since the beginning of time, in the garden has lied to us and caused us to doubt God’s Word and His love for us. When we as believers go against God’s best for us or break His laws, we sin. That’s when the struggle begins and the enemy then has a foothold in our lives. That’s where the church is now. The enemy has these women and men who have aborted their babies, in bondage, isolation, and torment. He wants them to keep this a secret, because he wants to prevent them from experiencing true peace with God, forgiveness of sins, and he certainly doesn’t want us, (those who have been healed from our past abortions) to tell others that there is hope and healing in Christ. More people need to hear the truth from us, I pray our voices will be louder than the enemy’s, so people can truly be set free.

How can we encourage Christian women sitting in our churches every Sunday to share their secret of abortion? I believe they must hear someone’s abortion story; they need to see a face associated with an Abortion Recovery Ministry or Bible Study. Then they can feel safe to come forward. But for some reason the church is hesitant to share this from the pulpit, I’m not sure why. I am praying that God will raise up bold and courageous leaders who have had an abortion, to step up and share with other women to encourage them to step out also.

Laisse-moi te demander, why did it take you so long to come forward to admit you had an abortion?

Tell me your story. What did God use to get you to step out and come forward for healing?

As a result of your healing what has God called you to do?

Will you join me to stop abortion in the church and come alongside other women to encourage them to break this cycle of death, in exchange for one that leads to life, freedom, and peace?

Bénédictions,

Toni

Se concentrer sur une chose que je n'ai pas

Se concentrer sur une chose que je n'ai pas

Focusing on the One thing I don’t have, Veille.

Genèse 2:15-3:9, and Isaiah 61:1-3

How does the enemy torment a believer? It’s very simple actually, by getting us to focus on the one thing we don’t have: it can be financial security, a relationship, good health, a job, a family, a nice home, etc. Alors, let me ask you, what one thing are you focusing on right now that you don’t have?

Let’s look at Eve for example, she lived in a beautiful garden in perfect harmony with her husband and all of creation and they walked with and spoke with God daily. She had everything she could ever want, except one thing; God told them not to touch or eat of the tree in the midst of the garden because when they eat of it their eyes will be open and they will know good and evil. Alors, what does the serpent, the devil do? He comes to Eve after observing her looking at the tree. This is not in the Bible, but we know that the devil cannot read our minds. But he and his demons observe us and how we react to things. Alors, he is observing Eve over a period of time and notices her looking at the tree; he slithers by and starts talking with Eve. The first thing he does is to put doubt in Eve’s mind that God doesn’t love her or else he would have given her everything, that “God is holding out on you, because he knows if you eat of it you will be like God knowing good and evil.” No, the truth is, that by disobeying God, sin entered the world and there will now be conflict between the woman and her husband, all of creation will be forever changed, and their relationship with God will be broken. They will now experience pain, grief, sorrow, la honte, and guilt and Adam and Eve will be forced out of their beautiful garden to never return again. They will be cursed as a result of their sins. That sounds pretty harsh but that’s how evil sin is, we like to justify sin so it doesn’t sound so bad, but the truth is sin is destructive and it separates us form God and others.

Many of us chose abortion, drunkenness, drugs, promiscuity and lying, as a way to cope with all of the pain and destructive choices in our lives. We were spiraling out of control, until one day we met the Savior, who had mercy on us and saved us from the path of destruction we were on. He exchanged our ashes for something beautiful, He took our mourning and grief; he gave us joy and exchanged our rags for a beautiful pure white garment. He gave us a new life, a new destiny, a new song, and a new purpose. I don’t want my old life back because that person is dead and gone. I have been made new and I no longer desire the things I use to do.

 

Let me ask you what are you struggling with today?

 

What thing is the enemy causing you to focus on?

 

Have you ever asked Jesus to forgive your sins and to become your Lord and Savior?

 

Comment pouvons-nous prier pour vous?

 

Bénédictions,

Toni