Pensiero puzzolente: La mia visione distorta di sé

Pensiero puzzolente: La mia visione distorta di sé

Pensiero puzzolente: La mia visione distorta di sé


di Toni Weisz/Pensiero puzzolente

 

Riferimenti scritturali: Isaia 43:18–19, Salmo 62:6-8, Salmo 27:10, John 8:32, e romani 5:9

Pensiero puzzolente refers to the negative or disturbing thoughts that torment us, Soprattutto quando lo siamo ALT (Hingrato, UNarrabbiato, lsolo o THo letto). We will be looking at our distorted view of self. We will learn to discern the truth from the lies we have believed all of our lives. Our goal is to equip you so you can have victory in every area of your life.

Isaia 43:18–19
“Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

Salmo 62: 6–8
“He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.”

Salmo 27:10
When my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will take care of me.

John 8:32
“And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

romani 5:9
Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him.

I was the oldest of three and came from a strict second-generation, Italian-American family. My father and his two brothers and sister ran a family-owned construction company started by my grandfather.

My grandfather had a drinking problem. And my dad acted like an alcoholic even though he did not drink. I refer to his behavior as a “rageaholic.” He worked extremely long hours and was dealing with a lot of stress and family drama. He was not able to communicate in a healthy manner without becoming angry and raising his voice. He had a very short fuse. Così, when he was home, I would literally want to run and hide.

My mom tried her best to control our home environment as not to cause my dad any stress. We had to be very quiet and obedient when he was home. The slightest thing could set him off. When my dad was at work, my mom had her own way of dealing with the chaos in our home. She yelled a lot too. It wasn’t a very calm or peaceful environment. But I believe they did the best they could. They were preoccupied with putting out fires that my sister and brother were starting. It was easy for me to hide in the shadows.

As a young child, how was I supposed to get the love and attention I needed? After the “good, quiet one” persona was not working anymore, I started sneaking Scotch whiskey from my parents’ liquor cabinet at 12 Anni. Now I was really hiding because of all of my secrets, which now were piling up, and it became even more difficult to keep up my façade. By 13, I was getting high and doing other drugs. At 16, I was having sex; then the unthinkable, il mio aborto a 21. My life was a disaster, one poor decision after another led me down a very dark path. I was very alone in this pit even though I had friends; no one really knew what I was suffering with because I wore the perfect mask. I was right where the evil one wanted me. Isolated, alone, and hiding in my secrets.

Now in my early 30’s after many years of destructive choices, unhealthy copying mechanisms and addictions, my self-loathing was at an all-time high. My depression would last for weeks at a time, and it was preventing me from functioning normally, and all the pain I had been stuffing all my life was coming out sideways. I had no control over it. I was like a walking volcano. I literally just wanted to end this torment of a life. But God gave me two children, and I wasn’t going to leave them without a mom. Così, I decided I needed to do something different because what I was doing was not working. I was tired of putting my mask on every day and pretending.

I felt I was not worthy to be loved. In fact, I thought I deserved to be emotionally abused by others because of my sin. I did not see myself as a person of value to anyone, not even to God. This destructive pattern would continue until I was 34, when by the grace of God, I heard the gospel and within 4 weeks got saved and asked Jesus to forgive my sins and be my Lord and Savior. The most beautiful and memorable day of my life is February 6, 1994, when I became born-again.

Even after my salvation, I felt I had to work for love and approval from God and especially from others in leadership at Church. My people-pleasing was consuming my life, and God showed me that this is idolatry, that anything that I put above Him is a sin.

Over the past 20 anni, God has slowly been showing me my character defects and areas of sin, my codependency, people-pleasing, and lack of clear boundaries and how I was enabling unhealthy behavior. I didn’t love or respect myself so how could I expect others to. I allowed people to walk all over me, to manipulate and control me, but slowly over time, I started putting up boundaries and using my voice.

God helped me to see myself through His eyes of love, care, and compassion. Back in 2015 when struggling with rejection, I wrote out these words of affirmation that I read out loud to myself every day: I am worthy, I am loved, I belong, Sono accettato, I am adopted, I am confident and competent, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, I am a child of God, I am victorious in Christ, just to name a few. This is my Spiritual Armor; I put this on every morning to protect myself from the fiery darts of the enemy. Our battle is won and lost in our minds. What we believe about ourselves and about God matters. God’s word is truth, and the truth will make you free.

I hope I never take for granted the miracle that took place in my life 31 anni fa, when I received the gift of salvation through the blood of Jesus shed on the cross for me.

QUESTIONS TO TAKE TO HEART:

  1. How has your distorted view of yourself opened you up to all kinds of abuse and sin as a way to cope with your pain?
  2. How did you see yourself?
  3. Who does God say you are? Give examples of Biblical truth.
  4. What do you do to put your Spiritual Armor on daily to protect yourself from the enemy?
  5. Come possiamo pregare per te?

I pray this topic has been helpful for you if you need to talk, you can text me or email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Sei amato, Toni

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Segreti

Segreti

SECRETS

by Toni Weisz/Recovery Tools
Riferimenti scritturali: John 8:31–32, 36

John 8:31–32, 36
Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

“Therefore, if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”

 

YOU’RE ONLY AS SICK AS YOUR SECRETS

You may have heard the familiar recovery term, “You’re only as sick as your secrets,” and it is a true statement. Until we feel safe to share our secrets, we keep them locked up in a type of “Pandora’s Box,” where we keep all of our deepest and darkest secrets hidden, because we fear them coming out to expose the ugly truth.

For the post–abortion woman, it is the truth that we terminated the life of our child. This horrible secret was our child. For those of us who have been abused, our fears of retaliation, rejection and judgment keep us silent. Where can we go to share in a safe place?

God doesn’t want us operating in secrets because He knows how destructive isolation and secrets are. I started secrets when I was 12 Anni, hiding my drinking. Then it was getting high at 13, then sex at 16, and the worst offense was il mio aborto a 21.

My secrets and sins were piling up, and it became harder and harder to keep them from coming out. I feared my parents’ reaction, punishment and disappointment in me. I knew all of this was wrong, but I kept those secrets until I was 50 Anni.

They had no idea about my destructive, sinful, sorted past because I wore a great mask. It was not an easy conversation, but I wanted them to hear it from me because I was starting this ministry and I didn’t want them to find out from another source. It needed to come from me. I felt a great release when I was finally able to share this with my parents.

WHY ARE SECRETS DESTRUCTIVE?

Primo, secrets keep us isolated from God and others, and that’s exactly where the enemy wants us. He wants us isolated and hiding because then he can torment us over and over again, until we realize what’s going on. Secrets keep us from the very people that can help us.

Second, the dysfunction is perpetuated and will continue as long as we nurture this thing, and protect it, like it was some prized possession. The secret needs to be exposed and brought into the light.

Third, secrets can hinder or prevent healing in our lives. Because of the abuse many of us have experienced in our past, we are already fearful of exposure, E we think this secret is a way to keep us safe. But actually it is causing us to stay sick. God gives us the courage to step out of isolation and secrets so we can be healed.

Fourth, secrets are destructive because they distort our view of reality, and we feel like we are all alone. Secrets are usually combined with lies that we believe about ourselves, Dio, or others. God’s Word and the Holy Spirit help us to know the truth so we can walk in it and so these secrets and lies can no longer hold us back from becoming the women God created us to be.

God wants us free from bondage. Secrets keep us in chains and in darkness.

Gesù cunme to set the captives free.

Domande da prendere a cuore:

  1. What secrets are you still holding onto?
  2. Why are you fearful to share them? Is it fear of retribution, fear of rejection, fear of hurting another person, fear of abandonment, or fear of judgment?
  3. When did you have the courage to share your secrets?
  4. How did you feel after you shared your secrets?
  5. Come possiamo pregare per te?

Please be aware that even in Church, there are some people who are emotionally unsafe to share secrets with. Make sure it is a person/group you trust.

I pray you have the courage to trust God and allow Him to show you the areas of your life that need healing. Trust Him with your secrets.

If you need help, please reach out to me. My email is: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

 

Sei amato,
Toni

 

 

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Come superare i pensieri negativi

Come superare i pensieri negativi

Come superare i pensieri negativi
by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Warfare

Riferimenti scritturali:
Matteo 10:29–31 E 1 Peter 5:5e–9un

Lately, I have been really struggling during the day with negative intrusive thoughts. UNnd then at night, I toss and turn for a few hours before I am able to fall asleep. I find that when my mind is not distracted with Christian music or radio, it immediately goes to certain people and situations from my past of the wrongs that have been done to me and my children. They keep coming back up one by one. I am continually trying to push them out of my head and forgive, but it’s a constant drip, drip, drip in my mind. I don’t feel peace and joy, E I don’t like the way this feels.

I am feeling inadequate and defensive. I have been triggered in the past by the phrase, “in the real world.” This is an old tape the enemy has been bringing up to me lately, and frankly, it has been working. I feel less than others because I don’t make as much money as they do. I find myself being harsh and prideful in my comments, desperately trying to convince myself and them that I do know what I am talking about and that I do live “in the real world.”

I was extremely triggered recently with a conversation I had with a family member. I felt my voice was getting louder, and I was defending myself as I was pushing back tears. I am thinking, “What in the world is going on?” That phrase, “in the real world,” came up, and then I just fell to pieces emotionally.

I was able to listen to his story and reasoning, and then I was able to apologize for responding the way I have been. It ended well, but I still feel vulnerable. I think a lot of this comes from my son’s prolonged illness and then his wife being equally ill. Neither one can work or take care of the other one. Thankfully, Mike is improving, and he is working hard to increase his body’s strength and capacity. But it is still hard.

I think, deep down, I am doubting God, even though in my journaling, He told me this trial will be over soon and Mike will be healed. It’s during the waiting that the enemy comes in to beat us down. He sees we are vulnerable and wants to inflict pain by reopening old wounds.

In 1 Peter 5:8, the Bible warns us to be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about seeking whom he may devour.

He has been on the prowl for a while because I have been very vulnerable for a very long time. I have tried my best to stay in the Word, pray, and stay in community, but I think I need more.

I am confessing this to you because I need your prayers. I know that the Spiritual warfare surrounding this ministry has always been intense and relentless. I know some of you have been equally vulnerable and weary because of the things that you deal with on daily basis.

Let’s take some time today to lift each other up in prayer to encourage one another. I want to walk in peace again. I want to feel the joy of the Lord in my heart. I want the enemy’s fiery darts to be extinguished and silenced, in Jesus’ Name.

Our significance does not come from how much money we make or our status. It never has. Our significance comes from our relationship with Christ.

I hope these Bible verses encourage you:

1 Peter 5:5e–9un
God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring line seeking whom he may devour. Resist him steadfast in the faith.

Matteo 10:29–31
Non si vendono due passeri per una moneta di rame? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs on your head are numbered. Non temere quindi, tu vali più di tanti passeri.

 

Domande da prendere a cuore:

  1. What are you dealing with right now that the enemy is using to beat you down?
  2. How are you able to quench the fiery darts of the wicked one?
  3. Come possiamo pregare per te?

I pray this topic was helpful for you.

Sei amato,
Toni

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Preghiera per il risveglio

Preghiera per il risveglio

Preghiera per il risveglio
by Toni Weisz/Spiritual Discipline

Riferimenti scritturali: Salmo 51:1–17, Salmo 139:23–24,
2 Timoteo 2:21, James 5:16, and Ephesians 4:29–31

Read Psalm 51:1–17

In Febbraio 1970, revival broke out at Asbury College in Wilmore, Kentucky.

On Wednesday, Febbraio 8, 2023 (53 anni later almost to the day), revival again broke out on the campus at Ashbury University in Wilmore, Kentucky. UNfter chapel service, some students lingered for spontaneous worship, preghiera, and confession. The revival continued for many days and spread to other universities, and many people traveled from all over the world to experience God in that place.

PRAYER & SCRIPTURE

We are hungry for You, Signore. Just like in 1970, there was much turmoil in the world, the Vietnam War, protests, bad economy, high gas prices, inflation, and chaos all around, not much different today in our world. People are hurting. They are confused E fearful about what the future will bring. But our hope is in You, Signore. Only You know it all, see it all, and control it all.

We humble ourselves before you today and ask Your Holy Spirit to help us. We cry out as David did in the Psalms.

Salmo 139:23–24
Search us, O God, and know our hearts. Try us, and know our thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in us, and lead us in the way everlasting.

Lord God, remove any blindness that may be keeping us from repenting of sin in our lives.

2 Timoteo 2:21
Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.

We want to be clean vessels sanctified and useful in your kingdom work. Purify us by the Word of God and the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

Father God, we are expecting You to move mightily to heal the brokenhearted and to heal all our wounds. We are waiting for you to heal us and our families from disease and demonic oppression, in the name of Jesus, we pray.

We are praying for our family members, friends, and neighbors who do not know You yet, that Your Holy Spirit will break their hearts of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Have mercy upon them, Signore. We are crying out to You for revival in our own hearts, our homes, our neighborhood, our state, our nation, and the world. Come, Holy Spirit, and have Your will and Your way in us today.

We are surrendering all to You today. We are asking, seeking, and knocking on the door. Let revival continue right here and right now in us.

In the powerful name of Jesus, we pray, amen.

James 5:16
Confess your faults one to another and pray one for another that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Efesini 4:29-31
Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

 

Preparation for Revival:

  1. Is there someone who you are harboring unforgiveness toward for something they did or did not do?

Would you like to confess that right now?

 

  1. Are you willfully going against what you know is right?

Would you like to confess that now?

 

  1. Is there something that you are unknowingly doing that is not honoring to God? Ask the Lord to show you so you can repent.

Would you like to confess that now?

 

  1. Are you angry with God because you are really struggling with loneliness, depressione, loss of job, health issues, a relationship, and God is not moving fast enough and you are really suffering?

Would you like to confess that now?

 

Please reach out if you need prayer or encouragement. You can email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

 

Sei amato,

Toni

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Sei stato liberato?

Sei stato liberato?

Sei stato liberato?

By Toni Weisz/Spiritual Disciplines

Riferimenti scritturali: John 8:31-32, 34-36, romani 6: 12-14, and James 5:16

John 8:31-32, 34-36
So Jesus said unto the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever. So if the Son sets you free, you are free indeed.

romani 6:12-14
Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will not have dominion over you, since you are not under the law but under grace.

Are you still struggling with a distorted view of yourself, Dio, or others? When did that start for you?

It takes years and perhaps decades of hard work to undo the damage that was done to us as children, teens, and young adults.

How can we be set free to live the abundant life Jesus came to give us?

I’d like to share four keys that can help you be set free.

1.) I believe we need to confess sin daily.

Some questions to take to heart:

  • What are my motives?
  • Why am I so easily offended?
  • Why am I being taken advantage of by others?
  • Why can’t I say no?
  • Why am I fearful or anxious when I have to speak to a certain person?

When we have been mistreated, abused, or neglected or have an abortion in our past, we develop deep wounds which distort our thinking and emotional development. It’s only God who can help us heal in those areas and grow to our full potential.

I heard this statement, but I do not know who coined it:

“If you want to be forgiven, confess your sins to God. If you want to change, confess your sins to another person so they can help you be accountable.”

James 5:16
Therefore, confess your sins one to another and pray one to another that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

2.) I feel a personal quiet time with the Lord is essential.

It’s hard for some of us to trust anyone, even God. Slowly, as you spend time with God, in His word, He will reveal His heart towards you. You will begin to see how much He does love you and how He cares about every part of your life. He never tires to hear about what’s going on in your life. He never slumbers. He is always available any time, day or night. That gives me great comfort knowing God is always there for me because so many people have let me down over the years. But God is always faithful.

3.) Sharing your story in a safe environment (such as our conference call) is therapeutic and condusive to healing.

It’s important for our healing that we can share our stories with others in a safe and loving environment without judgment. Once we do that, our secrets no longer have power over us.

Is there some part of your story you have not shared with others?

Now would be a good time to do that. If you cannot speak on the conference chiamata, then write it down and email it to me a: arwsg4u2@gmail.com.

By sharing our stories with each other, we can pray and encourage each other on our healing journey. You are not alone; that is a lie from the devil.

4.) We must be willing to do the hard work.

I am constantly reading books to help me heal and facilitate a healing group where women feel loved and safe. Our learning, healing and equipping is an ongoing process that will continue until the day we see Jesus. God is still healing me when I allow Him and the Holy Spirit to speak truth into my life. I have to be consciously listening to Him. Speak to God all day long. He is listening and waiting for you to call out to Him.

If you do these four things, it will help you to be set free in every area of your life.

Are you willing to allow Jesus to take you by the hand and lead you on this healing journey?

I pray this has been helpful for you. Per favore, contattaci. We are waiting to hear from you. Please go to our contact page to get our email and phone number.

Sei amato,
Toni

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