When I Finally Received His Love

by Toni Weisz/Recovery Tools

Scritture: Genesi 1:26, Matteo 10:30, E 1 John 1: 2-3, 7-9,

As a small child, I did not learn to use my voice. Invece, I hid in the background to keep under the radar. My home was chaotic and unsafe emotionally, e come risultato, Sono diventato ciò che la gente voleva che io fossi. Sono stato etichettato, "Il bene, quiet one.” I was fearful of rejection, so I became a people-pleaser. I believed the lie, “If I were perfect, I would be loved.” But that never worked. That’s when I started hiding and wearing a mask.

Il mio bisogno di amore e accettazione mi ha fatto nascondere parti di me stesso. I only showed the best parts of me so others would like me. This was not working for me, so I decided to rebel. When I was 12 Anni, I started sneaking Scotch Whiskey from my parents’ liquor cabinet; then drugs at 13, sex at 16, and my abortion at 21. Adesso, Mi stavo davvero nascondendo. Non volevo che i miei genitori lo scoprissero. Erano molto severi con me, essendo il più vecchio, e non volevo che fossero arrabbiati o delusi da me.

Come sono cresciuto, i miei peccati erano sempre più gravi, e i miei segreti sono diventati sempre più grandi. Così, Ho isolato ancora di più e ho nascosto tutto. La mia maschera si è trasformata man mano che crescevo. A questo punto, people-pleasing ruled my life. Tutto ciò che cercavo erano riconoscimenti da altri e un posto in cui potevo inserirmi e sentirmi al sicuro. But I would not find that for a very long time. Onestamente, Ho perso la mia identità perché volevo adattarmi agli altri. Non sapevo più cosa mi piaceva e cosa volevo fare perché sono diventato camaleonte e sono cambiato a seconda del gruppo con cui ero. Avevo perso la mia identità cercando di compiacere gli altri. I so desperately wanted to be loved that I sought it from all the wrong places. I used people, and they used me. But I did not feel loved. I only felt even more alone.

I know many of you can relate to this. You did not experience a safe home environment where you were loved, cherished, or encouraged. Invece, you experienced horrific abuse, neglect, and abandonment. My heart breaks when I hear your stories, the very people who should have loved you did the opposite. I know it broke God’s heart too, and He wept. He also knew all the unhealthy things you would do to numb yourself to escape from the pain. Decades of bad decisions and even more sorrow and heartbreak.

God created each and every one of us in His likeness and image (Rif. Genesi 1:26). He knows us intimately, and every hair on your head is numbered (Rif. Matteo 10:30). He created us for fellowship with Him (Rif. 1 John 1:3). There is a hole in our hearts and a void in our souls that nothing else in this world can fill, except for a relationship with our Heavenly Father through His Son, Gesù.

Even after I was saved, I struggled believing I was loved by God. I was still striving for approval from God and others. I had taken my character defects and my false beliefs and had added them to my Christianity. It was Jesus plus pleasing others and Jesus plus my good works. I believed in my head that Jesus loved me, but that truth had not made its way to my heart yet. I struggled to believe that He could forgive all my sins. The enemy lied to me and told me my sins were too great and God would not forgive me. That is a lie from the pit of Hell.

The Bible says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

The blood of Jesus on the cross for us was sufficient to pay all of our sin debt. He was our propitiation, our substitute (Rif. 1 John 1:2). It is finished!

Slowly, God was revealing His truth to me, and I was replacing those lies from the devil with His truth from the Bible. I remember the day I received His love. I felt a lightness and a joy in my heart. I felt a quickening in my spirit. For the first time in my life, I felt loved completely for who I was. God’s love for me was not based upon anything I could do. He loved me because He created me and delighted in me. Jesus made a way for me to know the Father’s love.

Domande da prendere a cuore:

1. Have you received the love of Jesus in your heart? If you have received His love, how did God reveal that to you? Please share.
2. If you have not yet received Jesus, are you fearful to trust God because of the trauma from your past?
3. What lies do/did you believe about yourself?
4. Come possiamo pregare per te?

My prayer for you is that you will trust God and allow His love to fill the inner most part of your being, because when you do, you will never be the same. Grazie, Gesù. Per favore contattaci se hai bisogno di parlare. Scrivimi a: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Sei amato,

Toni