Pensamiento apestoso: Mi visión distorsionada de mí mismo

por Toni Weisz/Pensamiento apestoso

Referencias de las Escrituras: Isaías 43:18–19, Salmo 62:6-8, Salmo 27:10, John 8:32, y romanos 5:9

Pensamiento apestoso refers to the negative or disturbing thoughts that torment us, especialmente cuando estamos DETENER (hinfeliz, Aenojado, lsolo o tenojado). We will be looking at our distorted view of self. Aprenderemos a discernir la verdad de las mentiras que hemos creído toda nuestra vida.. Nuestro objetivo es equiparte para que puedas tener la victoria en cada área de tu vida..

Isaías 43:18–19
“No os acordéis de las cosas pasadas, ni considerar las cosas de antaño. Mirad, haré algo nuevo, ahora brotará; ¿No lo sabrás?? Incluso haré camino en el desierto y ríos en el desierto”.

Salmo 62: 6–8
“Él sólo es mi roca y mi salvación; el es mi defensa; Preferiría que no me movieran. En Dios está mi salvación y mi gloria.; La roca de mi fuerza, y mi refugio, esta en dios. Confía en Él en todo momento, Tu gente; derrama tu corazón delante de él; Dios es un refugio para nosotros."

Salmo 27:10
When my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will take care of me.

John 8:32
“And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Romanos 5:9
Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him.

I was the oldest of three and came from a strict second-generation, Italian-American family. My father and his two brothers and sister ran a family-owned construction company started by my grandfather.

My grandfather had a drinking problem. And my dad acted like an alcoholic even though he did not drink. I refer to his behavior as a “rageaholic.” He worked extremely long hours and was dealing with a lot of stress and family drama. No podía comunicarse de manera saludable sin enfadarse y alzar la voz.. He had a very short fuse. Entonces, cuando estaba en casa, Literalmente quisiera correr y esconderme..

My mom tried her best to control our home environment as not to cause my dad any stress. We had to be very quiet and obedient when he was home. The slightest thing could set him off. When my dad was at work, my mom had her own way of dealing with the chaos in our home. She yelled a lot too. It wasn’t a very calm or peaceful environment. But I believe they did the best they could. They were preoccupied with putting out fires that my sister and brother were starting. It was easy for me to hide in the shadows.

As a young child, how was I supposed to get the love and attention I needed? Después del “bueno, quiet one” persona was not working anymore, I started sneaking Scotch whiskey from my parents’ liquor cabinet at 12 años. Now I was really hiding because of all of my secrets, which now were piling up, and it became even more difficult to keep up my façade. Por 13, Me estaba drogando y consumiendo otras drogas.. En 16, I was having sex; then the unthinkable, my abortion at 21. My life was a disaster, one poor decision after another led me down a very dark path. I was very alone in this pit even though I had friends; no one really knew what I was suffering with because I wore the perfect mask. I was right where the evil one wanted me. Isolated, solo, and hiding in my secrets.

Now in my early 30’s after many years of destructive choices, Mecanismos de copia nocivos y adicciones., Mi autodesprecio estaba en su punto más alto. My depression would last for weeks at a time, and it was preventing me from functioning normally, and all the pain I had been stuffing all my life was coming out sideways. no tenia control sobre eso. Yo era como un volcán andante. I literally just wanted to end this torment of a life. But God gave me two children, and I wasn’t going to leave them without a mom. Entonces, I decided I needed to do something different because what I was doing was not working. I was tired of putting my mask on every day and pretending.

Sentí que no era digno de ser amado. De hecho, I thought I deserved to be emotionally abused by others because of my sin. No me veía como una persona valiosa para nadie., ni siquiera a dios. Este patrón destructivo continuaría hasta que yo fuera 34, cuando por la gracia de Dios, Escuché el evangelio y dentro 4 semanas fui salvo y le pedí a Jesús que perdonara mis pecados y fuera mi Señor y Salvador. El día más hermoso y memorable de mi vida es febrero. 6, 1994, cuando nací de nuevo.

Incluso después de mi salvación, I felt I had to work for love and approval from God and especially from others in leadership at Church. My people-pleasing was consuming my life, y Dios me mostró que esto es idolatría, that anything that I put above Him is a sin.

Over the past 20 años, God has slowly been showing me my character defects and areas of sin, my codependency, people-pleasing, and lack of clear boundaries and how I was enabling unhealthy behavior. I didn’t love or respect myself so how could I expect others to. I allowed people to walk all over me, to manipulate and control me, but slowly over time, I started putting up boundaries and using my voice.

God helped me to see myself through His eyes of love, care, and compassion. De nuevo en 2015 when struggling with rejection, I wrote out these words of affirmation that I read out loud to myself every day: Soy digno, soy amado, pertenezco, Soy aceptado, soy adoptado, Tengo confianza y soy competente., I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, soy un niño de Dios, Soy victorioso en Cristo, just to name a few. This is my Spiritual Armor; I put this on every morning to protect myself from the fiery darts of the enemy. Our battle is won and lost in our minds. What we believe about ourselves and about God matters. God’s word is truth, and the truth will make you free.

I hope I never take for granted the miracle that took place in my life 31 hace años que, when I received the gift of salvation through the blood of Jesus shed on the cross for me.

QUESTIONS TO TAKE TO HEART:

1. How has your distorted view of yourself opened you up to all kinds of abuse and sin as a way to cope with your pain?
2. How did you see yourself?
3. Who does God say you are? Give examples of Biblical truth.
4. What do you do to put your Spiritual Armor on daily to protect yourself from the enemy?
5. Cómo podemos orar por ti?

I pray this topic has been helpful for you if you need to talk, you can text me or email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Eres amado, Toni