Obéissance

Obéissance

Romains 6:23
« Car le salaire du péché, c'est la mort, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Matthieu 11:28-30
"Venez à moi, tous ceux qui travaillent et sont chargés, et je te donnerai du repos. Prends mon joug sur toi et apprends de moi, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Romains 2:4b
“Not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?"

John 10: 28
“And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.”

As a young child, I developed a strong sense of responsibility. I took on shame immediately for any wrong doing. My fear of authority figures caused me to become a people-pleaser. I was a very compliant child because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone, especially my parents. I yearned for love and acceptance so much so that I would do anything to obtain it. I developed an unhealthy thinking pattern and a false belief system because of what I witnessed in my home and in church. I saw those in authority—attributing their behavior to God—act very harshly when someone disobeyed the rules. Please read my blog, Pensée puante: Ma vision déformée de Dieu. Par conséquent, I obeyed my elders out of fear of punishment and rejection, not out of love or reverence.

I demonstrated good moral behavior until I reached the age of 12 when “the good, quiet one” persona no longer sufficed. I began rebelling against everything I knew was right. Because of my fear of rejection, I put a great deal of energy into not getting caught. You can imagine how I lived with many secrets and hid behind a mask. I lived a lie. At home, I played the role of the “good, quiet one.” However, in public, I got drunk, used drugs and started having sex at the age of 16. All of this culminated in my abortion at the age of 21. With a firm grip on my soul, the evil one led me down a path of death and destruction. Blinded by pride and deception, I believed that I could live a life of freedom by pursuing my own desires and pleasures. toutefois, the opposite was true. My life belonged to the devil. He would eventually use me to do the unthinkable—murder my own child. I firmly believe that if we truly knew the love of God and understood it, we would not seek love outside of marriage. We would feel cherished, whole, secure and free. We wouldn’t need drugs, alcohol and other empty vices to fill the void in our hearts because we have such a strong connection to the true source of love—Jesus.

God wants us to obey Him out of love, not fear of punishment. It’s the goodness of God that leads to true repentance and a relationship with Jesus—a relationship without bondage but true freedom. Striving to be perfect by obeying unattainable rules does not draw us closer to Christ. He desires to show us His way of love, grace, forgiveness and peace. I pray that we can share this message of hope with others. For God so loved the world that He gave His most precious gift—His only Son—to die for us. If that is not a picture of sacrificial love, then I don’t know what is.

I have found that true joy comes from obeying God no matter how I feel because my emotions can be deceiving. Being faithful to follow God’s lead in my life brings a long-lasting peace. Women often say to me, “I am really struggling in my relationship with Christ.” What I have come to understand is that the key to a strong relationship with Him is obedience. If you desire a more fulfilling relationship with God, then obey the leading of the Holy Spirit even when you don’t see how God can intervene in your circumstances. Remember that God’s ways are not our ways. True peace comes from obeying God. When we do that, we are safe and secure under His protective umbrella. He shields us from the enemy’s fiery darts, and no one can snatch us out of His hand.

In this season, we are embarking on a very important study, “In the Wildflowers,” which deals with the evil of sexual abuse. The enemy has been hard at work to derail this study. Tormented by the enemy, one of my family members has begun lashing out and attacking me verbally. Someone also attempted to take out a $75,000 small business loan in my name through identity theft. Stay close to God, mon cher, because the enemy knows that many will be saved, guéri, redeemed and set free. Obey God even when life becomes difficult and you struggle to understand His plan. Rest assured. You will be blessed.

Je vous aime tous,

Toni

En savoir plus sur les articles de blog de Toni ici!

Chaque enfant mérite d'être aimé

Chaque enfant mérite d'être aimé

Romains 12:9b and Psalm 147:3

What happens to us as we get older and we mature and change our minds regarding abortion? Growing up I never imagined I would have an abortion. At a young age, I always loved children and took care of them because I was the oldest granddaughter on my mom’s side of the family. She is one of 10 siblings. My relatives would say, “Toni, go take the kids and play.” I even dreamed of becoming a teacher someday. That’s how much I loved children. Alors, I ask myself the question, why did I terminate the life of my first baby? Why did I allow the enemy to lie to me? Why didn’t I have the courage to admit to my parents that I had made a mistake and ask them for help? Why? These questions continue to plague me. The only response I can give right now is that I am trying to put all the pieces together to figure out the answers. I must revisit my childhood to identify the key moments in my life that led me astray. When did I start making decisions for myself—very bad ones—that would have long-lasting repercussions to endure for a lifetime?

My granddaughter, who is 8 ans, asked her mother about a huge billboard sign she saw on her way to school. The billboard read “Vote Pro-Life 2020” and showed a picture of a baby. My daughter briefly explained the issue of abortion and how the procedure leads to the death of the baby. My granddaughter was horrified. She could not believe a mother would kill her child. She wanted to know how the baby dies, but my daughter responded, “You don’t need to know that right now.” My granddaughter could not understand why a mother would take the life of her own child? They hugged one another and wept bitterly. After crying for a while, my granddaughter became angry and said, “How can our country allow this to happen?” She’s only 8. Yet, she knows that this is wrong. It breaks my heart. My granddaughter and I are extremely close. Alors, it saddens me to know that one day I will have to tell her that I had an abortion.

We have murdered over 60 million children in this country through abortion procedures. Do we need to mourn the loss of those children? Shouldn’t we all cry like my granddaughter cried when we hear such tragedy? How did each of us become so cold and disconnected from our very own child?

Where did the lie begin? When did abortion become an acceptable option? How did we transform from life-affirming children into post-abortion women? What a long and broken road we’ve walked. Let us unpack the truth and expose the reasons why we chose abortion?

I truly believe that if we had an encounter with the One True God, the Creator of the universe, engaged in a personal relationship with Him as children, teens and young adults, we would have chosen to give life to our babies in most instances. I would like to go one step further by highlighting the reality that many Christians have abortions as well. If we could only believe the truth that God loves and cherishes us and that He has a beautiful plan for our lives, we would make better decisions in this life. We were all raised in homes with some degree of dysfunction. Some were abused in their homes while others were neglected, or both. Every child deserves a safe home in which to experience love and be nurtured. Anything less is an injustice, which breaks my heart and God’s as well.

Mother Teresa of Calcutta once said, “The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.” I believe our need for love has made us vulnerable to many kinds of evil and forms of abuse, especially you precious ones who were abused as children. When I see such evil being committed by those who have rejected Christ and remain unrepentant, the one thing that gives me peace is to know that God will bring them to justice. “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” (Romains 12: 19b)

Fear of rejection stems from another lie we have believed about God. The Lord, in His Word, reminds us numerous times, “I will not leave you.” Perhaps He knew this would be one of our greatest areas of pain and loneliness. He knew the enemy would use this lie against us as he has already done in the lives of so many others. The fear of man, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment and the fear of being judged harshly cause us to doubt God’s promises and His goodness. By fearing God more than fearing man, perhaps we would have had the courage to choose life.

It’s important to return to the memories of our past so that we can move forward. That doesn’t mean we camp out there and remain stuck in our pain. We just need to visit long enough to get understanding. In order to be healed, we must come to Jesus in our present condition and humble ourselves before Him. We can then trust Him to walk with us in the hidden places of our minds and hearts. It is only then that we can be healed and truly set free.

Alors, tell me your story. When did you think abortion was your only option?

What were the lies you believed that caused you to choose abortion in the first place?

Did someone force you to abort your baby?

God is with you dear one. He is close to the brokenhearted, and He heals your wounds. (Psaume 147:3)

Will you trust Him today to exchange your ashes, your abuse, your abortion, your sins for His love, le pardon, peace and true joy?

 

Bénédictions,

Toni

En savoir plus sur les articles de blog de Toni ici!

Mon peuple plait

Mon peuple plait

From the time I was a young child, I never felt secure, confident or accepted. These insecurities gave the enemy an opening into my heart. He planted the lie in my mind that if I were perfect, I would be loved. Perfection in every task and responsibility set before me became my obsession. From school to sports and hobbies—basically anything I did—I had to be perfect. When I look back, I can see that my efforts were a waste of time. The enemy’s plan was quite insidious because he knew I could never be perfect. Only God is perfect. By striving for perfection, I would ultimately fall short and feel rejected.

The enemy drove me to failure so that I would look for other means of satisfying my longing to feel accepted, included and secure. He accomplished his mission. I failed. Being the good, quiet one in the family was not working for me anymore, so I decided to rebel. At the age of 12, I began sneaking Scotch whisky from my parent’s liquor cabinet when they were attending my brother’s football practices. Alcohol use was the beginning of my demise, which ultimately lead to the death of my child through abortion. My poor choices opened the door to more evil as a consequence. My striving for acceptance from all the wrong people would lead me to use drugs and sex to fill the void in my heart, which I would later discover could only be filled by a relationship with Jesus. I had no restraint. My conscience was slowly becoming numb as I failed to use sound judgment. Over time, I barely felt conviction for sin. I wanted to protect my parents from disappointment, so I kept all of this a secret.

My fear of rejection was stronger than anything else in my life. Par conséquent, I became a people-pleaser. I would do anything to be loved and accepted. I would allow others to use me, and I used others to fulfill my desires. Heartbroken from my wound of rejection, I hungered for love, leaving the door open to accept abuse from others. I believed that I was not a person of value. I was easily manipulated and controlled by those closest to me because I had no boundaries. I had no self-respect, so others didn’t respect me either. I felt used, abused, unloved and worthless. During my teenage years, all of those unresolved emotions lead me into depression. When I entered into college, I was no longer restricted and restrained by my parents’ rules. I would drink alcohol to the point of abusing myself. I hated who I had become so much so that I wanted to hurt myself. One day in my dorm room, I actually kicked out the small window by my bed. Thank God I was wearing cowboy boots at the time, or else I would have badly cut or broken my foot. I was like a walking volcano. My excessive drinking led to fits of rage where hot lava came spewing from within my inner darkness, and I had no control over who was going to receive that hot mess. Afterwards, I would feel so much shame and guilt over my actions. It felt like being trapped in a dark pit all alone with the abuser and accuser—the father of lies. It was a living hell, but I didn’t know what to do to stop the destructive cycle.

I could never say no to anyone because I didn’t want to disappoint people. I just wanted to be loved and validated by others hoping they would see value in me because I couldn’t see it. My people-pleasing strategy backfired when I failed to follow through on all the things I said yes to. There were simply not enough hours in the day to accomplish all that I had agreed to do. I would overextend myself, and then I would have to back out of things. That was such an uncomfortable thing to do. A vicious cycle had developed, and I didn’t know how to stop it. I put others’ needs above my own needs. I truly believed that if I didn’t keep a perfect house, if I didn’t follow all the rules and if I wasn’t the perfect wife, my husband would toss me away. Par conséquent, I tolerated unacceptable behavior out of fear. The enemy constantly tormented me with his lies when all I wanted was to be loved.

I realize now that the enemy wanted me to kill myself, but God had another plan for my life—one that was good and filled with hope and a prosperous future. (Jérémie 29:11) He did not allow the enemy to succeed in having me take my own life even though I had taken the life of my child. God thwarted Satan’s plan to destroy my body and my soul. God knew that I would receive Christ as my savior at the age of 34. He knew that in 2006 I would start my abortion recovery and healing journey. He knew that in 2013 I would start Mes cendres à la beauté, a post-abortion recovery and healing ministry. What the enemy meant for evil God turned around for good. (Genèse 50:20) God has been watching over me all these years while protecting me from the enemy so that I could fulfill His calling on my life. I now live my life to please God and Him alone. I no longer care about what others think of me, which is a form of idolatry. I am so humbled by and grateful for God’s mercy towards this poor broken woman who was dying inside. She is now alive and adopted as a daughter into God’s family.

Are you or/were you a people-pleaser?

Are you still concerned about what others think of you?

How did you break that dysfunctional cycle?

Jérémie 29:11 – “For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the LORD, pensées de paix et non de mal, to give you a future and a hope.”

Genèse 50:20 – “But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.”

Bénédictions,

Toni

Audio de "Mes gens plaisent" article de blog

Audio de My People-Plaisant (espagnol)

Lire la suite des blogs de Toni ICI.

Mes mécanismes d'adaptation malsains

Mes mécanismes d'adaptation malsains

Les mécanismes d'adaptation sont définis comme des techniques que nous utilisons pour nous aider à gérer le stress et la douleur dans notre vie.. Les mécanismes d'adaptation courants sont évitement et isolement, le déni, activité, rationalisation et contrôle. De mon enfance, J'ai appris évitement et isolement pour me protéger des personnes ou des situations malsaines. Courir et me cacher sont devenus ma réaction habituelle face aux problèmes lorsque j'étais petit enfant.. À l'âge adulte, J'ai continué à utiliser ces tactiques jusqu'à ce que je commence mon parcours de rétablissement et que j'apprenne de nouveaux mécanismes d'adaptation sains.. Louons Dieu! Au lieu d'éviter, Dieu m'a donné une voix, et j'ai appris à communiquer mes goûts et mes dégoûts. Je n'ai jamais développé une voix en grandissant. toutefois, une fois que j'ai mis des limites, utiliser ma voix était nécessaire pour communiquer ces limites aux autres. Au fur et à mesure que le temps passait, Je me sentais plus à l'aise de partager mon cœur avec les autres sans craindre le rejet. Dieu m'a aussi dit d'arrêter de courir et de me cacher et de lui laisser le résultat..

J'avais d'énormes angles morts en tant que femme après un avortement en ce qui concerne mon rôle parental. Concernant mes enfants, Je suis devenu extrêmement sensible et surprotecteur. J'ai été parent par peur. Je ne voulais pas qu'ils ressentent la douleur que j'avais ressentie. Je pensais que si je pouvais les contrôler, peut-être que je pourrais les empêcher de vivre ce que j'ai fait. À présent, Je sais que c'était une erreur de penser. j'étais dedans le déni jusqu'à ce que je réalise deux choses: Je ne peux pas contrôler une autre personne, et faire quoi que ce soit par peur ne donne jamais de bons résultats. Alors, J'ai appris à m'excuser auprès de mes enfants pour ma parentalité surprotectrice, laissant Dieu tout-puissant changer le cœur des autres.. Quand je me sens impuissant, Je me souviens d'abandonner le contrôle à Dieu pour créer un changement chez les autres ou dans les situations. Je vivais dans le déni à cause de ma peur du rejet de mes parents et de mon conjoint.. Par conséquent, J'ai obéi à des règles ridicules pour être accepté et aimé des autres. Honnêtement, ça n'a jamais fonctionné. Quand j'ai finalement reçu l'amour de Jésus dans mon cœur, J'ai eu le courage de me débrouiller seule sans craindre d'être rejetée parce que je savais que Dieu ne me quitterait jamais ni ne m'abandonnerait..

Occupé C'était un outil que l'ennemi a utilisé pendant de nombreuses années pour que je n'aie pas le temps de reconnaître ma vie dysfonctionnelle et de travailler sur moi-même.. Dans l'année 2010, Dieu m'a dit d'arrêter de servir. Je ne pouvais pas croire qu'il voulait que je fasse ça. Que penseront les autres? Poser cette question m'a conduit directement à la réponse :tu dois travailler sur toi parce que tu es un chiot malade. J'ai répondu par obéissance et j'ai pris le temps de travailler sur ma propre guérison 2010-2012. Pendant ce temps, Dieu m'a emmené dans un endroit désert avec Lui afin qu'Il puisse dissiper tous les mensonges auxquels j'avais cru. En se concentrant sur Sa vérité, Je pourrais être guéri et enfin libéré. Bien que Dieu m'ait appelé à ce ministère en 2006, Il a finalement pu m'équiper une fois que j'ai ralenti et que je me suis concentré uniquement sur Lui..

j'avais rationalisé mon avortement parce que je croyais que puisque je prenais tellement de drogues lourdes et que je buvais en fumant 2 paquets de cigarettes par jour, mon bébé serait gravement déformé. Je sentais que mes parents me rejetteraient et seraient extrêmement déçus de moi. Mais en y repensant 40 années, J'aurais aimé avoir le courage de leur dire que j'ai fait une erreur et de leur demander de l'aide. Je ne peux pas changer mon passé. Tout ce que je peux faire, c'est en tirer des leçons et partager mon expérience, force et espoir avec les autres. Avec un peu de chance, ceux que je contacte avec mon témoignage peuvent faire des choix sains en connaissant toutes les informations à l'avance.

Contrôle était un autre outil que j'ai appris à utiliser très jeune. Je croyais honnêtement que je pouvais contrôler ce que ressentaient les autres et ce qu'ils pensaient afin de déterminer l'issue d'une situation.. Tout cela n'était qu'un mensonge. Je n'avais aucun contrôle sur aucune de ces choses. J'ai essayé de contrôler la façon dont les gens réagissaient et se comportaient envers moi. J'ai essayé de contrôler ce que les autres voyaient en moi en me cachant derrière un masque. J'ai également essayé de contrôler mon poids en prenant des pilules amaigrissantes et des pilules amaigrissantes et en me purgeant après avoir trop mangé.. Dieu m'a montré qu'en lui cédant le contrôle, Je peux être libéré de ces obsessions et de cet esclavage.

Je suis tellement reconnaissante d'avoir aujourd'hui été libérée de tous mes mécanismes d'adaptation malsains.. J'ai acquis de nouvelles compétences pour m'aider à faire face à la douleur et aux traumatismes de mon passé. J'ai dû complètement abandonner tout et tout le monde à Dieu. Je ne tenais plus si fort mes enfants. Je ne me souciais plus de ce que les autres pensaient de moi. Je n'ai pas obéi à des règles ridicules par peur d'être rejeté. J'avais maintenant une voix, et Dieu m'a appris à l'utiliser pour exprimer mes sentiments de manière saine., voie divine. Je ne suis plus esclave de mes anciennes pensées et de mes anciens comportements.. Dans les Romains 12:2, la Bible dit : « Ne vous conformez pas à ce monde mais laissez-vous transformer par le renouvellement de votre esprit… » Le temps quotidien passé avec Dieu dans sa Parole et l'écoute du Saint-Esprit m'ont aidé à sortir du chaos., dysfonctionnement et de la misère dans un monde paisible, une vie ordonnée et épanouissante.

Quelles choses malsaines avez-vous utilisées pour vous aider à faire face au traumatisme de votre passé?

Quelles sont les façons saines dont vous faites face aux choses maintenant?

Contactez-nous et obtenez l'aide et les encouragements dont vous avez besoin. Nous sommes ici prêts et attendant de vous servir et de vous aider à devenir la femme pour laquelle Dieu vous a créé..

Bénédictions,

Toni

 

 

 

—Toni

Lire la suite des blogs de Toni ICI.