Meno controllo & Più fiducia

Meno controllo & Più fiducia

Proverbi 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding: In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.

Who or what are you trusting in: yourself, another person, an institution, or God?

I learned at a very young age to take control of every area of my life, that unfortunately was not a good thing. A 12-year-old is not mature enough to take on such a responsibility. I controlled my voice, I did not use it, I controlled how I performed in school, sports, and in anything I set my mind to do by practicing until I could do something perfectly. When I was older, I controlled my weight by taking speed and diet pills and exercising excessively. I controlled what others perceived about me by wearing a mask to hide my true feeling and identity.

Relinquishing control was not a comfortable thing for me, because I didn’t trust others not to hurt me. I became very self-sufficient and proficient in all I did. I had a huge wall around my heart that no one was going to penetrate, not even God. I grew up with a distorted view of God; He was angry and He would punish me if I was out of line, this is what I heard and saw as a child. Church was dark, they spoke in another language, it was not warm and welcoming. Così, I attributed these attributes to God. I felt He was dark and harsh and unloving; nothing could be further from the truth.

I had everything under control so I thought, until my life and health started spiraling out of control, I couldn’t stuff anymore and my health was failing, my marriage was on the brink of divorce, and I didn’t know what to do. I was plagued with suicidal thoughts because I just couldn’t deal with my depression and self-loathing anymore. This was not a life it was a prison; I was just surviving I needed someone to take my pain away, someone I could trust to love and accept me for who I was. Did such a person exist?

Dear One I want you to know that there is such a person, His name is Jesus, He is the only one who will love you right where you are, He will never hurt you or force you to do something against your will. È gentile, loving, dependable, faithful, merciful, forgiving, and He is your Savior and friend. Why not relinquish control of your life to God, honestly what do you have to lose at this point?

Matteo 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.

 

benedizioni,

Toni

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Confini: perché sono così importanti?

Confini: perché sono così importanti?

Salmo 34:18, Geremia 29:11, John 3:16

Personal boundaries, as defined by Psychology today, “Are the limits we set with other people, which indicate what we will accept and what we consider unacceptable behavior towards us. To know our boundaries comes from a healthy view of ourselves.” When that view is distorted due to emotional trauma as children (whether we did not get the love and care from our family which is a Type A Trauma or we were sexually, emotionally, or physically abused as children which is Type B Trauma). All these experiences as children cause us to have a distorted view of ourselves, Dio, and others and it prevents us from maturing into healthy stable adults. (Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You, A Life Model Book)

This distorted view of ourselves especially those of us who have had abortions opens up the door to all kinds of unhealthy and destructive behavior. God created women to love and nurture their children and then we did the opposite. Our hopes and dreams as young girls are dashed, and we are now open to all kinds of unhealthy destructive coping mechanisms and ungodly behavior to deal with our pain. Our very souls are tormented and we feel desperately alone, depressed and even suicidal.

So how can we stop this destructive cycle of accepting and enabling unhealthy behavior from others? Primo, we must realize we have a Savior and a friend who is the lover of our soul, and His name is Jesus. He is the only one that can heal our broken spirits, our broken bodies and our broken minds. Salmo 34:18 ESV “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves the crushed in spirit.” He is the only one that can take the disaster we have made of our lives and restore order and peace. And He alone can give us a new hope, new dreams, un nuovo scopo, and a new life. Geremia 29:11 NKJV, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

In childhood, I did not learn what healthy boundaries look like. I became a people pleaser at a very young age and as a result I allowed people to take advantage of me and treat me very poorly and I never said a word. I wondered why I never truly felt loved by others; what was it? I was allowing all kinds of unhealthy behavior because I didn’t love and respect myself, soprattutto dopo il mio aborto. I now despised myself. I didn’t understand why others didn’t treat me with love, kindness and compassion. I realized they cannot give what they do not have. But that took many decades for me to come to that understanding. I also recognized that they did the best they could with what they had and I released them into God’s Hands and started praying for and forgave them.

We all have our wounds and issues from our past, which causes us to be self-consumed and blinded, and we cannot see how we are hurting others closest to us. Only God can give us awareness and the courage to stop accepting unacceptable behavior and establish healthy boundaries. For the first time, I used my voice to explain my boundaries and insist they be respected. There was some push back but I was not going to waiver. At first, putting up boundaries is hard to do. But as God heals us, we get stronger, bolder and more courageous, and we no longer want to just exist, we want to experience the abundant life Jesus came to give us. The first step in recovery is recognizing my life is unmanageable and I need God to help me.

Dear One, I want you to know that God loves you so much that He sent His Son to die on the cross for you. (John 3:16) Have you received this gift of love and forgiveness from God? If not you can do that today? If you do know the Lord, then ask Him to help you to love yourself and to have courage to put up boundaries and no longer accept unhealthy behavior. He will help you if you ask Him, He did it for me and I know He will do it for you too.

 

 

benedizioni,

Toni

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Pensiero puzzolente: Ansia

Pensiero puzzolente: Ansia

Pensiero puzzolente: Ansia

di Toni Weisz/Pensiero puzzolente

Scritture: Filippesi 4:6-7, Matteo 6:25-26, 31 E 33, Salmo 121:2 e Matteo 10:31

Filippesi 4:6-7
Non essere ansioso per niente, ma in ogni cosa con la preghiera e la supplica (chiedendo umilmente) with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Matteo 6:25-26, 31, E 33
“Perciò ti dico, non preoccuparti per la tua vita, cosa mangerete o cosa berrete; né del tuo corpo, cosa indosserai. La tua vita non vale più del cibo e il corpo più del vestito? Guarda gli uccelli del cielo, poiché non seminano né mietono né raccolgono nei granai; eppure il tuo Padre celeste li nutre. Non vali più di loro? “Therefore, do not worry, detto, «Cosa mangeremo?' o 'Cosa berremo?' o 'Cosa indosseremo?’ For after all these things the gentiles seek. Perché il tuo Padre celeste sa che hai bisogno di tutte queste cose. Ma cercate prima il regno di Dio e la sua giustizia e tutte queste cose vi saranno sopraggiunte».

Salmo 121:2
My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.

 

When I was a young child, I worried about everything. When I left a homework assignment at home accidentally, I went into a panic. What is my teacher going to think or say to me?

Frantically, I would call my mom, “Can you please bring my assignment to school?”

She said to me, “You are such a worry wart.”

I was so anxious that my perfect mask would be exposed, that people might see the real me, an insecure people-pleaser, seeking approval from others so I could feel good about myself. I so desperately needed to feel like I belonged, that I was a person of value. I was continually striving for perfection to receive love and accolades from others. But that didn’t work; it only left me feeling alone and depleted.

As an adult, I became anxious when I negatively projected into the future. When I did this, I felt weak, senza speranza, e scoraggiato. My head and eyes were cast down, and I felt like giving up. But when I recognized I was looking inward, then I reminded myself, “My help comes from the Lord,” (Salmo 121:2) and I looked up to heaven.

God has promised us in His Word that He will meet all of our needs. “Are you not of more value than many sparrows?” Matthew 10:31

Ma sfortunatamente, I did not trust Him. I made some very bad decisions because I did not trust Him with my future, my life, my marriage, or my children. I had to be in control, and relinquishing that control was a scary thing for me.

Pensavo di poter ridurre al minimo la mia ansia cercando di controllare tutti e tutto. But I realized that was impossible to do, and it made me very frustrated and emotionally drained. I used to jump in to fix, rescue, and save others because I became anxious about all the what ifs.

I realized I cannot save, rescue, or fix anyone; only God can. I was sinning against God by not trusting Him in every area of my life. I had to believe He is a good God and He can take care of me and my family.

Ricordo nel mio diario, Dio me lo dice, “Get out of My way; you are preventing Me from working in your family.” IN ALL CAPS, PURE. Dio non era contento di me. Dio mi ha mostrato che la mia mancanza di fiducia in Lui era un peccato e mettere gli altri davanti a Lui era un idolo. He showed me that He was not like my earthly parents; He was kind and gentle, loving, caring, and full of compassion. I repented and turned away from my sin of unbelief and turned to God.

I no longer struggle with feeling anxious. I have learned to pray and bring all my concerns to Him. I believe only He can provide for all my needs. I am finally free of that sick thinking and character defect that kept me stuck and fretting for so many decades.

Grazie, Signore, for the gift of your presence in my life, for the Holy Spirit to remind me that I am Yours!!! Thank you that I am not alone; You are always with me.

Domande da prendere a cuore:

  1. Did you struggle with anxiety? What kinds of things would make you anxious?
  2. Are you still struggling with anxiety?
  3. What are some things you do to help you overcome your anxiety?
  4. Come possiamo pregare per te?

I pray this topic has been helpful for you. Per favore contattaci se hai bisogno di parlare: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Sei amato,

Toni

Pensiero puzzolente: Pensieri negativi

Pensiero puzzolente: Pensieri negativi

Pensiero puzzolente: Pensieri negativi

di Toni Weisz/Pensiero puzzolente

Scritture: 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 and Philippians 4:8-9

Il pensiero puzzolente si riferisce ai pensieri negativi che ci tormentano soprattutto quando lo siamo ALT (Hingrato, UNarrabbiato, lsolo o THo letto) this causes us to have a distorted view of God, self, pensare negativo, giustificazione, paura, e ansia. Affronteremo ciascuno di questi argomenti in modo da poter discernere tra le bugie in cui abbiamo creduto nel corso degli anni e sostituirle con la verità di Dio. Il nostro obiettivo è quello di equipaggiarti in modo che tu possa avere la vittoria in queste aree.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 NKJV
“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty through God for pulling down of strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself above the knowledge of God, brining every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”

Filippesi 4:8-9 NKJV
“Finally, brethren whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there be any virtue and if there be anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received, and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with.”

All of us know a person who can suck all the air out of a room because every word that comes out of their mouth is negative. Have you ever experienced that before? It is emotionally draining to be in the company of a negative person for a long period of time before we too are dragged down into the pit with them. Are you plagued with negative thoughts?

The enemy is continually trying to trip us up because his goal is to get us to focus on the negative things instead of all the things we should be thankful for. Do you have a gratitude list? If you don’t, I suggest you do one today, and write down all the things you are thankful for. When you feel a negative thought coming on, just get out your list and remind yourself that God is still on the throne and He is in control and He is aware of everything that is going on in the world. He uses all of it for His purpose and plans in all of our lives. We must remember God is good all the time and He is love; that is His character. He never changes. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

The battlefield truly is the mind. That is where spiritual warfare starts, and that’s where we have a choice to take it on or not. Right now, there is hatred and ethnic cleansing in certain parts of the world, wars and devastation due to earthquakes, fires, mud slides. Many are fearful, in despair, and feeling hopeless. But as believers, we need to be seeking the Lord even more now so we have His perspective on this. What are you focusing on now? Do you feel peaceful and hopeful or depressed and hopeless?

I have a list of Biblical truths that I read over every morning to remind myself that I am adopted and loved by God. This is how I put my armor on to protect myself from the fiery darts of the enemy.

Who I am in Christ, to Combat Rejection

I am worthy.
I am loved.
Sono accettato.
I am adopted.
I am confident and competent.
I am a child of God.
I have the Holy Spirit within me.
I am victorious in Christ.
I am forgiven of all my sins and cleansed from all my unrighteousness.
I have a home in heaven.
Nothing can separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus, my Lord.
I am valued by God.
I am His precious child.
I will fear no evil!

When I read this every morning, it protects my mind and my heart from the lies and negative thoughts that the enemy wants me to focus on. When I don’t read my list on a daily basis, I am vulnerable to the enemy’s devices; I am impatient, unkind, self-righteous, judgmental, and easily frustrated.

Signore, You are showing me that today, in fact, I must make time with You each morning; You are my priority. Reading Your Word daily is food for my soul. Praying is a time for me to hear from You and to talk to You. Journaling is a time when I go even deeper with You, seeking Your wisdom and wanting so much to hear from You to lead and guide me in my life and in all I do because I want my life to be pleasing to You, and I want You to be glorified through it. Grazie, Signore, for reminding me and convicting me of that today.

Father in heaven, I pray for each woman reading this blog. I pray they will seek You with their whole heart. Show them how much You love them in a very real and tangible way. Protect them from the lies and negative thoughts of the enemy, and help them to focus on the things that are true, honest, just, puro, lovely, and of good report. Renew their minds daily as they read Your Word. Heal them and bind up their wounds as only You can, for You only are their Mighty Counselor and Great Physician. Meet them where they are and lead them by Your righteous right hand. Forgive all of their sins and heal them, Signore. Thank you for Your love, mercy, grace, and compassion upon them. We pray this in the powerful name of Jesus. Amen.

Domande da prendere a cuore:

  1. Do you struggle with negative thoughts?
  2. How often are you plagued with these thoughts?
  3. Is there a person or situation that causes you to start thinking negatively?
  4. What have you done to help protect yourself from this kind of negative thinking?
  5. Come possiamo pregare per te?

Per favore, contattaci. We would love to hear from you. Scrivimi a: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Sei amato,
Toni

 

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Quando finalmente ho ricevuto l'amore di Gesù nel mio cuore

Quando finalmente ho ricevuto l'amore di Gesù nel mio cuore

Da quando ero un bambino piccolo, Non ho usato la mia voce e mi sono nascosto in sottofondo per rimanere sotto il radar. Di conseguenza, Sono diventato ciò che la gente voleva che io fossi. Sono stato etichettato, "Il bene, tranquillo. " Avevo paura del rifiuto, così sono diventato un popolo gradito. Credevo nella bugia che se fossi perfetto, Sarei amato. È stato allora che ho iniziato a indossare una maschera.

Il mio bisogno di amore e accettazione mi ha fatto nascondere parti di me stesso. Ho mostrato solo i lati positivi in ​​modo che la gente mi amasse. Poi, quando ero 12 Anni, Ho iniziato a rubare whisky dall'armadio dei liquori dei miei genitori. Adesso, Mi stavo davvero nascondendo. Non volevo che i miei genitori lo scoprissero. Erano molto severi con me, essendo il più vecchio, e non volevo che fossero arrabbiati o delusi da me.

Come sono cresciuto, i miei peccati erano sempre più gravi, e i miei segreti sono diventati sempre più grandi. Così, Ho isolato ancora di più e ho nascosto tutto. La mia maschera si è trasformata man mano che crescevo. Come un bambino, Ho cercato la perfezione. Ero un bravo studente, buon atleta, e un bravo bambino a tutto tondo. Quando non funzionava, Ho sfruttato uno stile di vita di alcol, droghe e sesso. Quando ero a casa, Ero ancora quello buono. Ma al liceo, Ero in giro con quelli che fumavano e drogavano.

A questo punto, le persone piacevoli hanno governato la mia vita. Tutto ciò che cercavo erano riconoscimenti da altri e un posto in cui potevo inserirmi e sentirmi al sicuro. Ma non lo troverei da molto tempo. Onestamente, Ho perso la mia identità perché volevo adattarmi agli altri. Non sapevo più cosa mi piaceva e cosa volevo fare perché sono diventato camaleonte e sono cambiato a seconda del gruppo con cui ero. Avevo perso la mia identità cercando di compiacere gli altri.

Mi sono sentito non amato e perso. Il mio consumo di alcol e droghe era fuori controllo. Ero una bomba a orologeria a piedi. Mi odiavo e mi sentivo così depresso. Ho lottato per tenere tutto insieme. Quando ho scoperto di essere incinta di una studentessa universitaria di 21 anni, Ho preso il panico. Questa gravidanza non si adattava al racconto che stavo permettendo ai miei genitori di vedere. Non ero il buono, tranquillo. Stavo facendo molto empio, peccaminose cose distruttive, e ora avrei terminato la vita di mio figlio.

Come sono finito qui? Tutta la mia vita è stata una bugia. Avrò un aborto e mi comporterò come se tutto andasse bene. Ma non è andato tutto bene. Dopo questo evento traumatico, Ero più depresso di prima, piangendo continuamente e bevendo di più. I miei pensieri disgustosi e suicidi mi affliggevano continuamente. Volevo solo morire così questo tormento si sarebbe fermato. Era troppo difficile mantenere questa facciata. Lentamente il mio maschera stava spaccando, e avevo così paura di essere scoperto. Tutti i miei peccati e bugie verrebbero inondati. io ero spaventato.

All'inizio dei miei 30 anni ho avuto un crollo fisico ed emotivo. Non potrei funzionare normalmente. Mi sdraiavo sul divano per settimane alla volta. Tutti gli anni di ripieno, menzogna e tutto il dolore che avevo provato in tutta la mia vita stavano iniziando a emergere di lato. Ero un vulcano a piedi, spargere cenere bollente su chiunque mi abbia ostacolato. Ero estremamente emozionato. Sentivo che non avrei potuto guardare nessuno negli occhi perché se l'avessi fatto, Non sarei in grado di smettere di piangere.

Lentamente ho iniziato a riconoscere che avevo bisogno di aiuto. Avevo bisogno di qualcuno che mi amasse, accettami, e guariscimi. Avevo bisogno di un Salvatore. Quindi a gennaio 2, 1994, Ho ascoltato il Vangelo per la prima volta. Entro 4 settimane ho dato il mio cuore a Gesù, ho confessato i miei peccati, voltato dai miei vecchi modi e rivolto a Dio. Sto arrivando per il 26 ° anniversario della mia salvezza, ed è ancora il giorno più dolce della mia vita. È il giorno in cui ho finalmente consegnato la mia vita a Dio e gli ho permesso di guarire il mio corpo spezzato, il mio cuore spezzato e la mia mente spezzata. Mi ha trasformato nella donna che mi ha creato per essere: un amore, donna fiduciosa piena di gioia e pace. Sono stato adottato nella famiglia di Dio; Sono accettato, e sono finalmente amato. Mi sento sicuro di essere me stesso. Ora posso togliermi la maschera perché sono finalmente a casa.

Indossi una maschera?

Come appare la tua maschera?

Hai il coraggio di toglierti la maschera ed essere reale?

Prego che come Dio ti guarisca, sarai pieno del suo amore e avrai il coraggio di toglierti la maschera.

benedizioni,

Toni

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