Restaurato

I became involved in My Ashes to Beauty ministry many years after my abortion. As I walked through the healing process of having an abortion, I realized how much of the decisions leading up to that very day had been affected by my childhood trauma, neglect and the sexual abuse I experienced. I knew in my heart I had to go all the way back, to allow God to start this healing process.

In the fall of 2020, I had an opportunity to join a group of warrior women in a sexual abuse bible study called “In the Wildflowers”, via Zoom. I did my part by watching the weekly videos, doing my homework and meeting every Monday night. I had never really done any work in this area of my life. I had shared my situations with others, including counselors but it had been dismissed. As I began my healing journey, I was able to recognize how the trauma of abuse had followed me into adolescence and adulthood. Prior to this study I had felt that worse things had happened to other girls and I needed to ‘suck it up ’and get over it. I felt that the abuse I had suffered was “normal” and, I had done something to cause it. I carried the shame and guilt of what others had done to me and owned their sickness for so many years!

In this study, I found help and encouragement from the ladies who I met with every week in my class. They gave me the strength I needed to get through this journey. When I did not have words or the ability to identify how I felt; they showed up with words to help me express my heart from the pain and grief. When I was angry and felt defeated, they prayed and spoke God’s truth into my life. We encouraged each other through text messages and email throughout the week and we loved on each other, helping each other through our painful journeys.

This bible study, the love and support I received allowed years of pain, shame and guilt to be washed away. I was able to surrender the burden of other people’s selfishness and God allowed me to be set free, from my past and He healed me.

Now I am sharing my redemption story so you can be set free and live a victorious life. God’s word promises to restore us. “So, I will restore to you the years that

the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewy locust, my great army which I sent among you.” (Joel 2:25 NKJV) And that is exactly what He did for me and He’s waiting for you to start your healing journey of restoration.

 

Rhonda Bouchlas

 

 

Permetterai a Gesù di guarirti?

Permetterai a Gesù di guarirti?

UNautobus ReCUPERO Support solruppo (ARSG)

Permetterai a Gesù di guarirti?

Egli guarisce coloro che hanno il cuore spezzato e fascia le loro ferite. Salmo 147:3 NKJV

Solo Gesù sa cosa si prova a subire abusi verbali e fisici, deriso e sputato, e pubblicamente umiliato mentre pendeva nudo sulla croce e picchiato e rifiutato dai suoi amici più cari. Credo che solo Gesù possa guarirci fisicamente, spiritualmente, mentalmente, ed emotivamente da tutte le forme di abuso e trauma che abbiamo sperimentato nella nostra vita. In Isaia 53:5, dice la Bibbia, “Ma Egli è stato ferito per le nostre trasgressioni, È stato ferito per le nostre iniquità; il castigo per la nostra pace ricadde su di Lui, E per le Sue piaghe siamo guariti.”

Grazie per aver partecipato al nostro primo incontro del gruppo di supporto sugli abusi. Copriremo tutti i tipi di abuso emotivo, fisico, sessuale, e spirituale. Vogliamo dare a ognuno di voi l'opportunità di condividere le vostre storie e i vostri cuori in un ambiente sicuro e amorevole in modo che il viaggio di guarigione che avete iniziato continui. Una cosa che ho imparato attraverso il Ministero per il recupero dell’aborto è che abbiamo bisogno di una comunità di donne che abbiano sperimentato le stesse cose che abbiamo sperimentato noi., per poterci aprire ed essere vulnerabili. Dio ti sta fornendo un gruppo di sorelle che amano Gesù e si amano tra loro, e che sono coraggiosi e impegnati in questo viaggio di guarigione. Sono disposti a fare il lavoro necessario per raggiungere il livello successivo nella loro guarigione mentre si avvicinano a Dio nel processo. Non vogliono più accontentarsi di esistere a malapena. NO, vogliono di più. Vogliono la vita abbondante che Gesù è morto per dare loro.

Nella mia casa d'origine, Non ho mai sviluppato una voce a causa del caos e dell’imprevedibile ambiente domestico in cui sono cresciuto. Fin dalla tenera età, Credevo di avere il potere di rendere qualcuno felice o arrabbiato con il mio comportamento. Quella era una bugia proveniente dall'abisso dell'inferno, ma non avrei scoperto quella verità finché non mi fossi dedicato al lavoro di recupero dell'ACA 2010-2015. Non ho tale controllo, ma questa bugia mi ha portato lungo un percorso di piacere alle persone che mi ha aperto a tutti i tipi di trattamenti duri e abusi da parte di altri che avrebbero voluto usarmi e manipolarmi. Ho abilitato questo comportamento a causa del mio bisogno di amore e accettazione. Non ho capito la codipendenza, abuso emotivo e verbale, e come stava avendo un effetto su di me e sulle scelte che avrei fatto nella mia vita. Pensavo che fosse normale; era il mio normale ma, Dio sa che non era il Suo piano per la famiglia.

Ho iniziato a ribellarmi all'età di 12, bevendo whisky scozzese dall'armadietto dei liquori dei miei genitori, sballarsi 13 e fare sesso a 16 poi, il mio aborto a 21. Ho lottato con la depressione da adolescente, e quando mi sono ubriacato, Ho agito male e ho buttato giù una finestra nel dormitorio del mio college. Ho preso a pugni i muri ed ero così pieno di rabbia e odio verso me stesso. Dopo il mio aborto, questi meccanismi malsani di coping sono semplicemente aumentati di intensità. Il mio aborto è stato il chiodo nella mia bara. Quell’atto mi ha gettato a capofitto nell’oscuro abisso della disperazione e dei pensieri suicidi. Volevo solo porre fine a questo tormento di una vita; Non ho visto una via d'uscita.

Poi un giorno glorioso, Ho incontrato Gesù e Lui ha perdonato tutti i miei peccati, e cominciò a guarire il mio corpo spezzato, anima e mente. Sono passati ventisette anni, e Lui continua a guarirmi e ad amarmi. Ed è stato un bellissimo viaggio.

Com'era la tua casa d'origine??

In che modo ciò ha influenzato il tuo processo decisionale??

Hai preso decisioni sane o basate sulla paura?

Hai ricevuto aiuto in quest'area per fermare questo ciclo malsano nella tua vita?

Il UNautobus ReCUPERO Support solruppo (ARSG) si riunisce la 2a e la 4a domenica di ogni mese, a 4:15 PM EST. Maggiori informazioni sugli appelli domenicali si trovano in questa pagina, Trauma dell'abuso sessuale.

Per favore, contattaci, inviaci un'e-mail a arwsg4u2@gmail.com, possiamo aiutarti a guarire dal tuo trauma passato con il nostro gruppo di supporto amorevole e premuroso, la Parola di Dio, lo spirito Santo, preghiera, e responsabilità.

Sei amato,
Toni

 

 

Leggi di più sui blog di Toni QUI.

Dalla vergogna alla vittoria (Parte 3): I miei miserabili ragazzi

Rhonda’s Story

In my mid-teens, my view of myself became more distorted. I wanted to be wanted and I wanted to be loved. I turned to relationships, alcohol and drugs, and this left me feeling even more empty than I did before. I became very boisterous, very opinionated and I projected a false sense of security to hide how I really felt.

When I was 16 Anni, I was intimately involved with an 18-year-old. We dated for over a year. When I tried to break up with him, he threatened to kill himself. Out of guilt, I remained in the relationship for a little while longer until I could figure out a way to break it off. I told him again I didn’t want to see him anymore, and he pulled a shotgun out and put it to his mouth and said if I broke up with him, he would kill himself. I took off running down the stairs of his apartment and he proceeded to chase me down the main street of the small town where I lived. As I ran down the street, I saw people I knew and screamed for help! I thought he was going to shoot me in the back. In fear, they turned and fled. I ran into the restaurant where I worked. I was hysterical and my boss grabbed and took me to the back of the restaurant. I told him what happened and he called my house and my brother came and got me.

A few weeks later when I was biking home after work, the boyfriend that I tried to break up with, grabbed me off my bike and chocked me as he told me he loved me and couldn’t live without me. I somehow broke free, grabbed my bike and raced home as fast as I could. I told my parents, and at first they seemed upset, but then they just dismissed it. And the ex-boyfriend that had frightened me so badly would call my mom and she would tell me he was sorry and to give him another chance. But I didn’t want anything to do with him. A few weeks later, I came home from work one night and saw him sitting in the basement drinking a beer with my dad. I was shocked! My dad looked at me and said, “Tony’s going teach me to play guitar!”

 

Parte 4 Clicca qui.

 

Dalla vergogna alla vittoria (Parte 2): L'abuso è iniziato nell'adolescenza

Rhonda’s Story

My dad had a workshop in the basement where he had pin up girls on the wall. He had playboy and Penthouse magazines in the cupboard that my brother and his friends would look at.

Around the time I was between 8-10, I walked down the stairs and found my dad watching a pornographic movie while having a meal. I was horrified. My father was so disrespectful to women and he constantly joked in a demeaning way in front of my mom and other women.

Dad would drink every day. And every Friday night he cashed his check and came home with his weekend alcohol supply. Dad would always be in a good mood. He would take a shower and his friends would start rolling in. He always smelled so good. In the beginning, it was exciting for me to see who would stop by; I liked having company. But as the weekend parties continued it became evident that my dad’s friends wanted to do inappropriate things to me.

My mom would usually stay upstairs and lose herself in her books, trying to ignore everything around her. I would hang downstairs trying to get my dad’s attention over his friends and his drinking. When I was between 8 E 9, I recall one of his friends pinning me down, laughing and holding my arms down while he tried to kiss me. I was kicking and screaming, telling him to stop as my parents watched. I couldn’t believe they weren’t helping me! Felling vulnerable, I spent many years pushing the bed across my bedroom door, afraid someone would come and hurt me. Because of my parents’ and my brother’s behavior towards me, I learned that I had no value. My mom never wanted me and I wasn’t worth being protected by my dad; I felt so unloved.

During middle school, my brother and I always came home to an empty house. The two neighbor boys would come over and try and kiss me, pin me down and they would force me to do inappropriate things with them. I was told not to tell or I would get beat up. I never told.

Così, I would race home, grab all the hangers and pens in the house (my brother could open the door with a metal hanger or the ink stick of the pen), lock the bathroom door before by brother got home so he couldn’t beat me up. I would wait in fear as he banged on the door telling me to open it. Eventually he always found a way in. I would run through the house and try to get away as he threw knives at me. If I made it back to the bathroom the knives would be stuck in the door. He would beat me up! I didn’t tell because nobody stopped the other bad things that were happening to me. My mother always justified and made excuses for my brother’s behavior because he was her favorite; my dad was hard on my brother; I was dad’s favorite so I got the brunt of that from my mother.

 

PARTE 3 Clicca qui.

 

La mia vita sarebbe cambiata per sempre (Parte 3): Cercando di far fronte al dolore

La storia di aprile

The years going forward were a total blur. I went through school and tried to do my best, but there was always sadness in my heart. I started to become insecure over friendships and people in general. My spirit was broken. I was insecure and looking for acceptance. I knew I couldn’t get it at home since my parents drinking and abuse had gotten worse after the kidnap. I knew they loved me, but I also knew something was wrong.

I started skipping school in the 7th grade and became attracted to boys and sex. I spent a lot of time at my friend’s house, partying and having fun. We moved to Lantana to a new house and what we thought would be a new life. But by the time I was in 9th grade, I was sexually active. You might think I would want nothing to do with sex after my kidnap and rape, but it was the thrill. And God was not in my life. I started dating a guy that was many years older than me, and it was almost as if I was being raped at my will. I felt so much shame when I was with him.

PARTE 4 Clicca qui.