La guerra spirituale negli studi biblici post-aborto

La guerra spirituale negli studi biblici post-aborto

Spiritual Warfare in the Post Abortion Bible Studies
By Toni Weisz/Spiritual Warfare (Blog di Toni)
Salmo 91:1-12

Why is spiritual warfare so intense when women decide to step out to be healed from a past abortion?

I have been in the post-abortion ministry since 2006, when I went through my first post-abortion recovery Bible study. Unfortunately, no one prepared me for what was going to be one of the most tragic and saddest times of my life. Satan came in and ripped my family to shreds. My husband and children stopped speaking to each other; my husband and I had a huge conflict; my son’s roommate stopped paying rent and stole from him; my daughter broke up with her boyfriend because of a porn addiction. All of this started two-and-a-half weeks into my first post-abortion recovery Bible study. I was in shock, and I was numb. Much of that time is still a blur to me.

To give you a better idea of how this all started, allow me to set the scene for you.

It was January 22, 2006, Sanctity of Human Life Sunday. I was sitting in my Sunday school class learning about the book of Jeremiah. More specifically, we were discussing how God called Jeremiah to be a prophet from the womb. Our teacher asked each of us, “What has God called you to do?”

For years I had asked God to reveal my calling to me. Up until that day, I thought it was just to be a godly wife and mother. But the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said, “I want you to help other women feel forgiven for their past abortions.”

Immediately, I raised my hand and told our group what God had just shared with me. I then shared with my Pastor after the service what God had said. I was so excited but had no idea what this would mean or how this would change my life forever.

Così, I told my husband, “God wants me to help other women heal from their past abortions.” His reaction was, “No, that’s not good for you; that will be too hard. You should be in children’s ministry. You will be happier there.”

To respect my husband, I did nothing. I just waited. During the third week of waiting, my Pastor preached on obedience. The Holy Spirit moved in me so strongly that I couldn’t let it go. I went to my husband again and said, “John, you don’t understand. God is calling me to this, and I have to obey.” Thus began my healing journey.

Over the years, I have learned so much from the things that have happened to me on this journey. It has shaped the way I think, speak, and treat others. Unfortunately, I was not treated with kindness during the early parts of my journey.

Invece, I received harsh, condemning feedback and was told it was my fault my marriage was not going well and that I was in sin. These painful words led me to accept unacceptable treatment from my husband. My facilitators and mentors did not have experience in any kind of recovery work or co-dependency issues. They did not recognize I was being bullied and emotionally abused.

I thank God for the equipping He has given me. He has given me patience, gentleness, and love toward women who have lost a child to abortion. I know from experience that many factors go into the decision to have an abortion. We don’t grow up as young girls thinking, “I want to abort my baby.” No. It’s not a natural thing for a woman to do.

I decided to write this blog post about the spiritual warfare surrounding post-abortion recovery because many of us will be involved in these healing Bible studies in some capacity. Whether you are a prayer partner, co-facilitator, or a participant, each of us will experience some kind of spiritual warfare.

Know this: the enemy does not want Christian women healed from a past abortion. He wants to keep us in bondage and chains, locked away in a dungeon to be tormented. This frightening truth inspired the name of our eBook, “Leading Them into His Light.” Long before the eBook, God gave me a vision of a dungeon and women sitting in darkness and in chains. Jesus held my hand as I went into the dungeons to grab the women out so they could be rescued from the enemy. It’s a beautiful picture of God’s love for us.

Our eBook is available on our website for a donation of any amount. In it, we share 17 women’s abortion stories (including my own) and how God turned our ashes into something beautiful for our good and His glory.

Right now, the enemy is trying to trip you up. I am experiencing it in my own home, and you might be also. The enemy will use those closest to you to take you down and discourage you. But do not waiver. God is greater and stronger than the enemy. Stay close to Him and He will protect you.

About six months ago I started reading Psalm 91 every day. I suggest you meditate upon it too. It will strengthen you for the inevitable battle ahead.

 

Domande & Closing Thoughts:

  1. What spiritual warfare have you experienced as a result of stepping out and wanting to be healed from a past abortion?

    2. What do you do to protect yourself from the enemy’s fiery darts?

    I am looking forward to an exciting year in which more women will be healed from the trauma of abortion. With the healing power of Jesus, we can reach even more women and stop this cycle of death in their families.

Sei amato,
Toni

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Grazia incredibile

Grazia incredibile

Grazia incredibile

by Toni Weisz/Abuse Recovery
Efesini 4:29-32 and Numbers 6:24-26

Efesini 4:29-32
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ forgave you.

In the Moody Handbook of Theology, Paul Enns defines God’s grace as the unmerited or undeserving favor of God to those who are under condemnation. I did not grow up in a home where grace was displayed instead of harsh punishment. Come un bambino, this caused me to be fearful and to hide.

I went to a church that was big and dark inside, and they spoke in a foreign language. The school associated with this church was very much the same. Students were hit with rulers when they disobeyed. Because I did not see grace and love in these formative places, I believed God was harsh and angry and ready to hit me when I got out of line. I began to believe that my faith in God was based upon my good works, per esempio., If I am good, I will be loved and accepted, but if I disobey, I will be severely punished. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I didn’t run to God when I was 21, unmarried, and pregnant. I was fearful that He too would judge me harshly and punish me severely.

During my adult life, I once again encountered a harsh church environment. My husband and I and our family started attending a legalistic church for several years where it was all about following the rules with no room for grace. The Holy Spirit in me was so grieved that I could barely feel or sense His presence.

At first, I didn’t recognize it, but I was experiencing spiritual abuse. Even so, I wanted to serve Jesus. If that meant wearing dresses 24/7 and obeying ridiculous rules, then that’s what I would do. This spiritual oppression greatly affected my soul, and I felt like I was slowly dying inside. Unfortunately, i miei figli (who were in high school at the time) were also subjected to this spiritual abuse. I was so grateful when we finally got away from that toxic environment.

Similarly, I have experienced harsh treatment from another ministry leader as well. I felt like I could never do anything right and was always under a microscope. Every little thing I did was magnified and made into a public example. I was so embarrassed and felt discouraged. But God called me to the abortion recovery ministry, and I was not going to stop until God told me to.

Poi un giorno, God brought a leader into my life who was kind and gentle. She gave me permission to just be me and fostered a safe environment in which I could open up and share about the emotional and spiritual abuse I was experiencing. I trusted her, and she truly encouraged me. It was so refreshing to have a leader that was sweet and kind, just like Jesus.

In our ministry, we want each woman to feel safe and know that she can share her story without judgement. We encourage her to use her voice, perhaps for the first time in her life. We want her to see the love of Jesus in our words and our actions. God wants our words to speak hope and life into the lives of the women He brings to our ministry, and that is what we will always try to do.

God has given us His heart for these courageous women. We are honored to walk alongside them on their healing journeys. You too are welcome here, courageous woman. Come as you are; we are waiting for you.

Closing Thoughts
What is grace? Grace is a gift from God; it cannot be earned.

Grace is overlooking someone else’s faults and loving them where they are.

I am so grateful for God’s overwhelming love and grace in my life. This grace compels me to love others, to extend mercy, and to be kind to all people. This grace humbles me when I think about what Jesus did for me on the cross…a gift I can never repay.

Number 6:24-26
“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace.”

 

Reflection Questions:

  1. Do you judge yourself or others harshly?
  2. Do others treat you harshly?
  3. Have you received God’s grace?
  4. Are you able to extend God’s grace to others?
  5. Come possiamo pregare per te?

Per favore contattaci se hai bisogno di parlare. You can email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Sei amato,
Toni

 

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Lo scopo del mio bambino

Lo scopo del mio bambino

Luci’s blog

Genesi 50:20: “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.”

II Peter 3:9: “The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”

Growing up in my dysfunctional family, which included neglect and sexual, fisico, and verbal abuse, did not equip me to care for or respect myself as I grew in the way God intended for me. I spent many years allowing others, especially men, to use and take advantage of me for sexual purposes. By the time I was 15, I was deeply wounded and hurting. My way of coping was to act out in self-destructive ways. As I mentioned earlier, I allowed others to use me. I also drank daily and experimented with most drugs, including mind-altering substances.

I had no hope that anything in my life would improve but that it would just continue to get worse until I died. I was so angry at the way I had been treated by my father and brothers but didn’t understand how to break out of this pattern of destructive behavior.

At the age of 24, I slept with a man whom I hardly knew. In fact, I couldn’t even tell you his name. All I know was that he said all the right things that my heart longed to hear: that he cared for me, really wanted to be with me, and made me feel special, even if it was just for a brief time. He kept insisting that we have sex, and I resisted at first but then gave in when he said he had a vasectomy, since that meant he could not get me pregnant.

I was desperate for this man’s attention but certainly didn’t want to have a baby with him! But like most of the men I opened my life up to, he had lied to me and much to my dismay, I became pregnant. I was devastated and felt a sense of desperation as to how I would “fix” this predicament I was in. Of course, the guy who said he cared so much about me left the scene as soon as he got what he wanted.

I confided in a friend that had introduced me to him. I remember that she had a 9-year-old daughter and no husband, and it was clear that she resented her daughter greatly by the way she treated her. She told me to “Get rid of it; you don’t want a kid!” All I could think about was how I didn’t want to end up like this woman, mistreating my own child! Così, against my better judgement and my conscience that told me “NO, this is wrong,” I chose to abort the only child I would ever conceive.

I cried every night when no one was around to see my pain. I cried for myself because of how empty this act made me feel, but mostly for this innocent child whose life I had taken so violently. I cried unconsolably, every night for months. Not knowing my Lord Jesus Christ at that time, I had no one to turn to for forgiveness and healing. As I look back on this desperate act of selfishness, I realize this was the final self-destructive thing that drove me into the arms of God! I just couldn’t live with the emptiness and pain anymore. Nine months after my abortion, Ho ceduto la mia vita a Gesù, asked forgiveness for my sins, and began to walk in the newness of life that He offers to all who come to Him in humility.

I want to read a section of the letter to the baby I named Gabriella, which means “God is My Strength”:

Although your earthly life was so short, you impacted mine for eternity because precisely nine months after I allowed that abortion clinic to strip you away from my womb, Sono nato di nuovo! And on that amazing day, my heart, soul, and spirit were transformed from darkness and condemnation into the forgiving and precious light of Jesus Christ and His Holy Spirit! God took our pain and ashes and turned them into eternal beauty!

I am pouring much of my life into other women who have experienced the pain and grief of abortion by helping them to acknowledge and heal from this event. I love you with all my heart, my precious little one, and I will see you soon!

Your forgiven Mom

 

What purpose did your unborn child serve in your life?

 

Did it move you towards God or away from Him?

 

Additional portions of letters to the unborn:

Amato, God knows your life was not a mistake. Your life spurred me to a deeper faith and a passion for Christ. God showed me grace, love, and healing in ways that I can’t describe. He used all these things for good (Rom 8:28). Your life allowed me to defend the defenseless, to value life in the womb, and to have compassion for the hurting moms who fell into the same trap as I did. God numbers our days and although yours were few, they continue to fuel my passion.

I, your mother, hold you in my arms today in a way I could not 10 years ago because I feared to look into your eyes and to hear God’s voice speak through the gentle grasp of your fingers saying “choose life.” In the light of my mind, I now behold you, my first child—the first of three girls. Do you know that you have two sisters? Do you know that your life has given great meaning to their lives? Because of you, I cherish the very breath of life God has gifted me and those whom I hold close to my heart.

As I embrace you today and always, I let go of shame, colpa, humiliation, rejection, abandonment, pride, and pain. I reject the lies that once kept your memory hidden in darkness far from the light of truth. My love, my beautiful baby girl, you were never forgotten.

Heaven has documented each moment of your existence in the book of life. Adesso, it is time for me to write your page into the story of my life.

In the years to come, when we find ourselves reunited in the spirit, I will delight in the unfolding of your unique personality woven together with the experience of your brief, yet significant life. For now, sweetheart, I entrust your care and protection to the Father, whose plans for you are greater than either you or I can imagine.

I named you Joseph because what the enemy meant for evil, God turned around for my good and for His glory. He exchanged my ashes into something beautiful. Joseph, you inspired a ministry called My Ashes to Beauty to help other moms heal from their past abortions.

 

benedizioni,

Luci

 

 

Back to I blog di Luci

Ti rivedrò

Ti rivedrò

“Ti rivedrò, a Letter to my Baby”

Rivelazione 21:4-5un
“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; non ci sarà più morte, né dolore, né piangere. There shall be no pain, for the former things have passed away.” Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold I make all things new.”

John 14:3
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there you may be also.

I Corinthians 2:9
But as it is written, “Eye has not seen nor ear heard, nor have entered in the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”

My Letter to My Baby

Dear Joseph,

My precious child, I have loved you all of my adult life, and yet, I have never seen your face or held you in my arms. For that, I am very sorry. You were a gift from God, and I threw you away. I am so sorry for ending your life. God showed me what you look like. I saw a young man in his 30s on an airplane, and he had brown curly hair and blue eyes. I felt my spirit quicken. I whispered to the Lord, “Is that what my son looks like?” I felt the confirmation in my spirit.

I named you Joseph because what the enemy meant for evil, God turned around for my good and for His glory. He exchanged my ashes for something beautiful. Joseph, you inspired a ministry called My Ashes to Beauty to help other moms heal from their past abortions.

I know you are in heaven with Jesus—a place where there is no sadness, Dolore, or sorrow. I can’t wait for the day that I can see you face to face in heaven where we will be together forever. I have pictured that scene over and over in my mind. I see you greeting me in heaven. I know you and you know me. We hug. With tears of joy streaming down my cheeks, you kiss me and I say, “I have waited for this moment for so long. Now we will never be parted again. I love you, Joseph.” You respond, “I love you, Mom.” Then, I will look to Jesus and thank Him for this precious gift of being reunited with my child in heaven and for the gift of salvation He gave me.

I will see you soon.

Love always,
Mom

As I was praying about the topic for today, this song came on my station, Scars in Heaven, by Casting Crowns. Here are some of the lyrics (to which I made some minor modifications):

Now what I would give for one more day with you Joseph (your child or children’s names).
Cause there’s a wound here in my heart where something’s missing. And they tell me that it’s gonna heal with time. But I know you’re in a better place where you are healed and whole and I will be too.
The only scars in heaven, they won’t belong to me and you.
There’ll be no such thing as broken, and all the old will be made new. And that thought makes me smile now, even as tears fall down. Is that the only scars in heaven are on the hands that hold you now.

Questions to Take to Heart:
What are your thoughts when you think about your baby (or babies)? What would you like to say to your baby (or babies)?

You can read more letters on our website: https://myashestobeauty.com/a-letter-to-my-baby/

I pray this blesses your heart.

Sei amato,

Toni

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Restaurato

I became involved in My Ashes to Beauty ministry many years after my abortion. As I walked through the healing process of having an abortion, I realized how much of the decisions leading up to that very day had been affected by my childhood trauma, neglect and the sexual abuse I experienced. I knew in my heart I had to go all the way back, to allow God to start this healing process.

In the fall of 2020, I had an opportunity to join a group of warrior women in a sexual abuse bible study called “In the Wildflowers”, via Zoom. I did my part by watching the weekly videos, doing my homework and meeting every Monday night. I had never really done any work in this area of my life. I had shared my situations with others, including counselors but it had been dismissed. As I began my healing journey, I was able to recognize how the trauma of abuse had followed me into adolescence and adulthood. Prior to this study I had felt that worse things had happened to other girls and I needed to ‘suck it up ’and get over it. I felt that the abuse I had suffered was “normal” and, I had done something to cause it. I carried the shame and guilt of what others had done to me and owned their sickness for so many years!

In this study, I found help and encouragement from the ladies who I met with every week in my class. They gave me the strength I needed to get through this journey. When I did not have words or the ability to identify how I felt; they showed up with words to help me express my heart from the pain and grief. When I was angry and felt defeated, they prayed and spoke God’s truth into my life. We encouraged each other through text messages and email throughout the week and we loved on each other, helping each other through our painful journeys.

This bible study, the love and support I received allowed years of pain, shame and guilt to be washed away. I was able to surrender the burden of other people’s selfishness and God allowed me to be set free, from my past and He healed me.

Now I am sharing my redemption story so you can be set free and live a victorious life. God’s word promises to restore us. “So, I will restore to you the years that

the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewy locust, my great army which I sent among you.” (Joel 2:25 NKJV) And that is exactly what He did for me and He’s waiting for you to start your healing journey of restoration.

 

Rhonda Bouchlas