Io sono il fiore di campo di Dio

Io sono il fiore di campo di Dio

Blog di Luci

I was part of the sexual Abuse Recovery Bible Study with a small group of women through the “My Ashes To Beauty” ministry. E quando ho accettato di partecipare, I figured it had been so many decades since the abuses took place that there wouldn’t be any new discoveries. Well, it turns out there were things that I had not yet processed, even with all the counseling I had over the years.

I had the opportunity to mourn the loss of a safe and happy childhood and teen years that every girl deserves to experience. One of the things that really moved me is when we shared photos of the timeframe that we lost our innocence. I felt such compassion for the other women’s photos and how precious and vulnerable they appeared at the time of their abuses. When I looked at my photo, I felt such love and mercy for the young adolescent girl, that was me; I shed tears over that. I didn’t see myself back then, the way I now do. I had blamed myself for the abuses and couldn’t see beyond how it defined me. I was reminded over the course of this study that I am God’s precious and adored daughter! And that was definitely a good thing to allow to sink into my heart!

As I got to know the women in this intimate setting and hear their stories, I realized, I’m not alone in this, that others have experienced similar atrocities and it endeared me to them. We bonded in a way that goes beyond a typical group gathering for prayer or Bible study. I got the sense that God brought this particular group together so we could pray for, encourage and show one another that there is further healing and work to be done. The prayers that were prayed over us was like a healing balm that sunk deep into my soul!

Sexual abuse recovery takes time, as we peel away layers of false beliefs and negative thinking which keeps us in bondage and from moving further on the beautiful path that God has for each of us to walk. Not only do we need to continue to grow in Him, but He also wants to use us to show others the healing and forgiveness that is waiting for them, through His love. This study ws a safe place to share and be vulnerable with like-minded women.

His beloved,

Luci

 

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Permetterai a Gesù di guarirti?

Permetterai a Gesù di guarirti?

UNautobus ReCUPERO Support solruppo (ARSG)

Permetterai a Gesù di guarirti?

Egli guarisce coloro che hanno il cuore spezzato e fascia le loro ferite. Salmo 147:3 NKJV

Solo Gesù sa cosa si prova a subire abusi verbali e fisici, deriso e sputato, e pubblicamente umiliato mentre pendeva nudo sulla croce e picchiato e rifiutato dai suoi amici più cari. Credo che solo Gesù possa guarirci fisicamente, spiritualmente, mentalmente, ed emotivamente da tutte le forme di abuso e trauma che abbiamo sperimentato nella nostra vita. In Isaia 53:5, dice la Bibbia, “Ma Egli è stato ferito per le nostre trasgressioni, È stato ferito per le nostre iniquità; il castigo per la nostra pace ricadde su di Lui, E per le Sue piaghe siamo guariti.”

Grazie per aver partecipato al nostro primo incontro del gruppo di supporto sugli abusi. Copriremo tutti i tipi di abuso emotivo, fisico, sessuale, e spirituale. Vogliamo dare a ognuno di voi l'opportunità di condividere le vostre storie e i vostri cuori in un ambiente sicuro e amorevole in modo che il viaggio di guarigione che avete iniziato continui. Una cosa che ho imparato attraverso il Ministero per il recupero dell’aborto è che abbiamo bisogno di una comunità di donne che abbiano sperimentato le stesse cose che abbiamo sperimentato noi., per poterci aprire ed essere vulnerabili. Dio ti sta fornendo un gruppo di sorelle che amano Gesù e si amano tra loro, e che sono coraggiosi e impegnati in questo viaggio di guarigione. Sono disposti a fare il lavoro necessario per raggiungere il livello successivo nella loro guarigione mentre si avvicinano a Dio nel processo. Non vogliono più accontentarsi di esistere a malapena. NO, vogliono di più. Vogliono la vita abbondante che Gesù è morto per dare loro.

Nella mia casa d'origine, Non ho mai sviluppato una voce a causa del caos e dell’imprevedibile ambiente domestico in cui sono cresciuto. Fin dalla tenera età, Credevo di avere il potere di rendere qualcuno felice o arrabbiato con il mio comportamento. Quella era una bugia proveniente dall'abisso dell'inferno, ma non avrei scoperto quella verità finché non mi fossi dedicato al lavoro di recupero dell'ACA 2010-2015. Non ho tale controllo, ma questa bugia mi ha portato lungo un percorso di piacere alle persone che mi ha aperto a tutti i tipi di trattamenti duri e abusi da parte di altri che avrebbero voluto usarmi e manipolarmi. Ho abilitato questo comportamento a causa del mio bisogno di amore e accettazione. Non ho capito la codipendenza, abuso emotivo e verbale, e come stava avendo un effetto su di me e sulle scelte che avrei fatto nella mia vita. Pensavo che fosse normale; era il mio normale ma, Dio sa che non era il Suo piano per la famiglia.

Ho iniziato a ribellarmi all'età di 12, bevendo whisky scozzese dall'armadietto dei liquori dei miei genitori, sballarsi 13 e fare sesso a 16 poi, il mio aborto a 21. Ho lottato con la depressione da adolescente, e quando mi sono ubriacato, Ho agito male e ho buttato giù una finestra nel dormitorio del mio college. Ho preso a pugni i muri ed ero così pieno di rabbia e odio verso me stesso. Dopo il mio aborto, questi meccanismi malsani di coping sono semplicemente aumentati di intensità. Il mio aborto è stato il chiodo nella mia bara. Quell’atto mi ha gettato a capofitto nell’oscuro abisso della disperazione e dei pensieri suicidi. Volevo solo porre fine a questo tormento di una vita; Non ho visto una via d'uscita.

Poi un giorno glorioso, Ho incontrato Gesù e Lui ha perdonato tutti i miei peccati, e cominciò a guarire il mio corpo spezzato, anima e mente. Sono passati ventisette anni, e Lui continua a guarirmi e ad amarmi. Ed è stato un bellissimo viaggio.

Com'era la tua casa d'origine??

In che modo ciò ha influenzato il tuo processo decisionale??

Hai preso decisioni sane o basate sulla paura?

Hai ricevuto aiuto in quest'area per fermare questo ciclo malsano nella tua vita?

Il UNautobus ReCUPERO Support solruppo (ARSG) si riunisce la 2a e la 4a domenica di ogni mese, a 4:15 PM EST. Maggiori informazioni sugli appelli domenicali si trovano in questa pagina, Trauma dell'abuso sessuale.

Per favore, contattaci, inviaci un'e-mail a arwsg4u2@gmail.com, possiamo aiutarti a guarire dal tuo trauma passato con il nostro gruppo di supporto amorevole e premuroso, la Parola di Dio, lo spirito Santo, preghiera, e responsabilità.

Sei amato,
Toni

 

 

Leggi di più sui blog di Toni QUI!

Angelo della luce (Parte 1 & 2)

Angelo della luce (Parte 1 & 2)

Luci’s blog

Angelo della luce (Parte 1)

There he was with his beautiful smile and wavy brown hair with streaks of sunlight in it and those eyes! They had mischief in them and flirted with me! I just knew He was an answer to my prayers, finally!

I was 33. I had been following Jesus for 8 years and loved serving Him. I was involved in multiple ministries, leading post abortion recovery groups (having experienced my own horrific abortion experience), women’s ministry, church functions and small group bible studies.

I desperately wanted to be married and have a family. I felt so out of place in the church, with the couples (both younger and older) and their children that seemed to be everywhere. But I promised my Lord that I would not sleep with any man or marry unless He chose that man, one who I could serve Him with. I prayed fervently and waited impatiently. Ma 8 years passed and I was growing anxious as I felt my biological clock ticking away! At this point I was beyond the point that most couples began their families; I was becoming very anxious about my singleness.

My “prince” was charming, friendly and polite. He captured my heart the moment I laid eyes on him. I shared my faith with him and he said all the right things that lead me to believe he too followed God. But the deeper into our relationship I went, the more red flags I saw that told me to “RUN”! But I was so infatuated with the idea of being his girl, marrying and raising our own family that I couldn’t see the danger I was heading toward. Satan used this man to lure me into a trap. He lead me to believe that this could work. But the harder I tried to conform this man to my ideal god fearing partner, the more evident it became that he would not.

At first, I refused to sleep with him, attempting to keep my promise to God while dancing with the devil. By this time, several months into the relationship, all my protection and resistance was gone. I stopped going to church, abandoned all my ministries and isolated from my believing sisters. I gave in to his constant seductions and once I had sex with him, I felt truly trapped. I had the overwhelming sense that I made a grave mistake! But I believed I had to marry him so I could honor my promise to God that I wouldn’t sleep with any man until I was married. It sounds ridiculous now but the guilt and condemnation I put myself under was suffocating. Along with that I had succumbed to his control over my life; he was a master manipulator and I felt that I was under his spell. Little did I know, he was just a pawn of the devil, using this relationship to pull me further and further from my Lord.

I was stressed out, couldn’t eat, had insomnia (cried in the dark most nights), experienced panic attacks and lost all my confidence and joy.

My prince turned into a nightmare! He manipulated me and criticized my words and actions. He slept with other women and lied about it even when I exposed him. He turned out to be a very warped and perverted individual. He was literally a pawn of the devil and didn’t know it. It took me three years to see it and finally get help. When I gained the courage to stand up to him, I threw him out and began my journey back to intimacy with God.

In Christ’s love,

Luci

See Angel of Light (Parte 2) below.

Luci’s blog

Angelo della luce (Parte 2)

In Part 1 of this story, I left off when I threw the man out, I will call “abuser” that had been living with me, who I was allowing to ruin my testimony, my peace of mind and keeping me from a relationship with the Lord. I had discovered that you cannot serve Jesus and the devil or another way to put it is, ungodly/sinful desires, at the same time.

He had threatened me as I told him to leave so I worried that he would retaliate, having seen him do it to others who crossed him. But I had turned a corner and began to trust in the Lord again so I was resolved. Although I knew I had done the right thing, I was so unsure of my future. And in spite of feeling so broken and vulnerable, I trusted the Lord and moved towards Him. I asked for forgiveness for leaving the path He had so firmly planted me on and asked him to restore me to Himself.

Through the tears and the shame, I began my journey back to my Lord, one step, one day at a time. I began attending church again and as I sat in the services, I felt numb and unable to respond. I just took it all in and allowed the Lord to begin the healing process on my heart, mind and my sick body. I got back into the bible and read everyday and slowly returned to fellowship with other believers which was so good for me! It took five plus years to be restored to the closeness that I once had with the Lord and to feel confident in my role as His child.

I still had a deep longing to be married but this time I was leaving it up to the Lord. I learned that I could not make it happen on my own, not the way God would have it for me! I knew I wanted to be with a devoted follower of Christ, a man who would put Jesus first in all things and cherish me the way God intended.

After a couple of years no men of this caliber had come into my life so, I assumed that the Lord intended for me to be single. And shortly after I accepted this and began to settle on the idea that God would use me in my singleness, He sent me a godly, ethical, gracious man who would eventually become my husband! The way we met could only have come from the Lord! We lived in different countries and found one another on a

Christian dating website. So after 42 anni, I married my soul mate. It has been 17 wonderful years that we’ve been together. He is perfect for me!

If you ask me, would I want to go through that horrible relationship with the abuser again to get where I am today, I would say NO. But having experienced it, I can appreciate how God provides and does it so much better than we can imagine! Praise Him for His faithfulness!

In Christ’s love,

Luci

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