Dalla vergogna alla vittoria (Parte 2): L'abuso è iniziato nell'adolescenza

Rhonda’s Story

My dad had a workshop in the basement where he had pin up girls on the wall. He had playboy and Penthouse magazines in the cupboard that my brother and his friends would look at.

Around the time I was between 8-10, I walked down the stairs and found my dad watching a pornographic movie while having a meal. I was horrified. My father was so disrespectful to women and he constantly joked in a demeaning way in front of my mom and other women.

Dad would drink every day. And every Friday night he cashed his check and came home with his weekend alcohol supply. Dad would always be in a good mood. He would take a shower and his friends would start rolling in. He always smelled so good. In the beginning, it was exciting for me to see who would stop by; I liked having company. But as the weekend parties continued it became evident that my dad’s friends wanted to do inappropriate things to me.

My mom would usually stay upstairs and lose herself in her books, trying to ignore everything around her. I would hang downstairs trying to get my dad’s attention over his friends and his drinking. When I was between 8 E 9, I recall one of his friends pinning me down, laughing and holding my arms down while he tried to kiss me. I was kicking and screaming, telling him to stop as my parents watched. I couldn’t believe they weren’t helping me! Felling vulnerable, I spent many years pushing the bed across my bedroom door, afraid someone would come and hurt me. Because of my parents’ and my brother’s behavior towards me, I learned that I had no value. My mom never wanted me and I wasn’t worth being protected by my dad; I felt so unloved.

During middle school, my brother and I always came home to an empty house. The two neighbor boys would come over and try and kiss me, pin me down and they would force me to do inappropriate things with them. I was told not to tell or I would get beat up. I never told.

Così, I would race home, grab all the hangers and pens in the house (my brother could open the door with a metal hanger or the ink stick of the pen), lock the bathroom door before by brother got home so he couldn’t beat me up. I would wait in fear as he banged on the door telling me to open it. Eventually he always found a way in. I would run through the house and try to get away as he threw knives at me. If I made it back to the bathroom the knives would be stuck in the door. He would beat me up! I didn’t tell because nobody stopped the other bad things that were happening to me. My mother always justified and made excuses for my brother’s behavior because he was her favorite; my dad was hard on my brother; I was dad’s favorite so I got the brunt of that from my mother.

 

PARTE 3 Clicca qui.

 

Dalla vergogna alla vittoria (Parte 1): La mia infanzia spezzata

Rhonda’s Story

When I was a kid, I remember being happy, wanting to understand why everything was the way it was, full of curiosity and questions. I loved playing outside, I loved my brother and I loved animals. I loved Sunday fishing, car rides and visiting family. I had a vivid imagination that helped me to escape from the reality of my dysfunctional childhood.

My parents had been dating for a while, and then they eloped. My dad decided he wanted to see Sault Ste. Marie. My mom wanted to go, so they got married. They never made it there; they stopped short in North Bay and rented a place. Dad got a job and along came my brother. Mom’s pregnancy was difficult, and she was told not to have any more kids. My Dad refused to have one child, so two and a half years later with much resentment from my mother, I was born; she and I never bonded.

I remember being afraid of my mother when I was young as she was angry a lot. She told me she had me because my father made her and that she never wanted me. I felt like I was a burden, an inconvenience. I understand now that she was angry about her life and her inability to speak up for herself.

When I was about five, my mom was in the living room crying. I asked her what was the matter, and she looked at me and said my dad had slept with his boss’s sister, he may lose his job and she didn’t know if she was going to stay married to him. I remember being scared, not really understanding and thinking I did something wrong to cause this.

 

Parte 2 Clicca qui.

 

Qui sei al sicuro

You are safe here...

If you had an abortion in your past, you have found a safe place.

Here, you are safe to share your heart and your tears over your abortion decision, whether it was by choice or if someone forced you.

If you are overwhelmed with feelings of loss, vergogna, colpa, solitudine, depression, despair, and it’s hard for you to function, we can walk with you and help you get the love and support you need, so you can heal.

You are in the right place for hope and healing through the Word of God, Jesus Christ, and a safe and loving environment for you to share without fear of judgment or condemnation.

I have been doing post-abortion recovery since 2006 through various Bible Studies and venues.

In 2013, I started post-abortion conference calls on Sunday afternoons, and I have a team of healed godly women ready to minister to you.

I have several options available to help you release your shame and guilt associated with your past abortion.

In exchange for those heavy burdens is a relationship with Jesus, having His peace, and experiencing true freedom. Here are the options:

  1. A conference call every Sunday afternoon at 4:00 PM EST. Each week we discuss a different topic. Most of the women on the call have experienced the loss of a child to abortion, and others struggle with unhealthy relationships, addictions, and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Conference Call: 605-562-8400, SPILLO 4746600#

You’ll find more info on the Sunday Teleconference call at myashestobeauty.com/events

2. There are post-abortion Bible Studies available in many locations and venues. Face to face Bible Study meetings are available at a specific location and time, as well as a conference call Bible Study.

3. There are topics available on this site to help encourage you.

4. You can reach out if you need to talk with someone via telephone, text message, and/or email, whichever you prefer.

5. I will also give you other resources from different organizations that help with unplanned pregnancies and post-abortion recovery.

Most importantly, we are very proud of you for stepping out and seeking help and healing.

We are so honored to walk with you on this healing journey.

God Bless You.

—Toni

testimonianze

Surrendering the Secret Bible Study

Teleconference Call

testimonianze

God Connects Hearts and Threads Lives

I had a wonderful opportunity to co-lead a Surrendering the Secret Bible study via conference call with Toni and Jane.

I have done these studies for years but not in this format. It was such an amazing experience, and we saw God quickly connect our hearts with the women in the group even though we didn’t meet face to face.

Each woman’s story helped another, and trust was built. The women were so transparent, and we saw God’s hand throughout as He threaded our lives together.

Personally, I was so encouraged by seeing God’s immense love for each of us and how He desires for us to be healed from the pain and shame of our past abortions.

He walked with each of us so tenderly through this healing journey bringing His truth and light. Somehow new life was born within as God gave each of us unique purpose where there was once deep pain, shame and guilt.

I am so thankful to be a part of this ministry where I see God’s grace, forgiveness and freedom experienced!

My hope and prayer are for many women to take a courageous step and begin this transforming healing journey.

Julie Cruz

The Conference Call was a God Send

Over this summer I was able to participate in “Surrendering the Secret” (STS) phone conference Bible study.

In the past, I had been on Toni’s Sunday’s conference calls, so this wasn’t new to me. The Sunday conference calls are topical in nature and were a great support for me and my walk with the Lord. I learned so much on these conference call sessions and was excited to join in on the STS study.

Our STS study was on Thursday evenings and lasted 1½ hours. We had some amazing girls in our group, and over the course of the weeks I grew to love them and pray for them. I was in awe of what the Lord was doing in their lives.

It’s amazing to see the healing in others and connect with women that were wounded the same way I was, from a past abortion.

The phone conference Bible study was so convenient because it allowed me to be at home and not have to travel. Many of the women were about 1 hour away.

This study reminded me of how the Lord can bring healing to hurting women that desperately need freedom from the chains of shame and brokenness. I had taken the class several times and this was the first time I did it via a conference call on the phone.

God was in our midst and He was able to walk us through those areas that needed light and truth. I’m so thankful for Toni’s heart and desire to bring this study over the phone so anyone can join and distance is not a factor.

Praise God for He is Good and Mighty to Heal.

God Bless, Sharon

God Is Preparing Us to Be a Voice

I have been a part of the My Ashes to Beauty abortion recovery for a few years now. Recentemente, I had the opportunity to participate in the Surrendering the Secret Bible Study. When I embarked on this journey, I felt confident that I was in a good place with my abortion recovery and was looking forward to a little more healing.

This study was via conference call, once a week at a specific time, which made it very convenient and accessible for me to participate due to my busy schedule.

As I began this study, I realized I was just beginning my healing journey. I was taken to the deepest part of my soul which for 19 years I had locked my secret away so tightly. I walked through my ever-erupting emotions in a safe place for the first time ever in my life and was able to honestly share my story, vergogna, colpa, paura, disgust and pure hatred of myself because of what I had done to my child. As we all shared our stories and our heartbreak, I could see the healing taking place.

When we speak of unspeakable things, we are released from the bondage and hold it has on us, and we can begin to heal.

My healing journey was beginning, I was grieving, crying, having trouble sleeping and anxious, but as I continued the study I was smiling, laughing and had peace in my heart for the first time.

I was able to come to terms with what I had actually done, found forgiveness and have peace that my child is with my Lord in heaven, and one day I will be reunited with him.

We all have different reasons and circumstances as to why we made the choice to abort our child or children, but there is healing available to each and every one of us.

I believe that as each of us is healed, God is preparing us to be a voice for our children and all the children that have been aborted.

I am excited for the opportunity to be used by God to help other women in post abortive, prevention and anywhere He leads me.

Rhonda Bouchlas

I Received Significant Healing

Back in April, I was desperately searching for some help with my abortion healing and recovery.

I had fallen into a deep depression that I couldn’t get myself out of. I had covered up my abortion for 2 years and told no one about it.

Luckily, I found Toni, who graciously welcomed me into her Sunday conference call, as well as the Surrendering the Secret Bible study during the week.

The Surrendering the Secret study was more intimate with only a few women. The study was about 2 months long, and all of us held each other accountable to be on the call every week.

The Bible study conference calls were something I looked forward to every week. I knew that every week I was able to talk with people who cared and understood what I was going through.

We went through the readings and questions, diving deep into the core of our trauma. This wasn’t an easy process; it was emotional to get through.

Every week I gained more clarity. I can honestly say that by the end of the study, I received significant healing.

This bible study was a blessing that God gave to me, and I will never forget it.

Erika

Passionate About Changing Lives with Teleconference Venues

My abortion experiences occurred when I was a teenager and young woman, around the time that Roe v. Wade was passed and Planned Parenthood grew into the abortion business it has become. I hadn’t thought about these tragic events much anymore. I had been a victim of rape at the age of thirteen and continued with a rebellious, unchallenged lifestyle without God in my life or much supervision, throughout my teen and young womanhood years. This led to my secretive, deadly choices, without counseling or telling my parents or friends.

During the spring of 2019, I began a “Surrendering the Secret” (Pat Layton, 2008) Bible study group, as part of an abortion recovery requirement for consideration to become a counselor at a local First Care Women’s Clinic crisis center.

At first, I attended weekly sessions with a group of women at a church about an hour away from my home. When I started a new job, the work hours conflicted with this group. I contacted the director of the study group, and she connected me to Toni Weisz and her weekly teleconference group.

This was the best possible scenario. I am so grateful God made this possible. It was convenient to drive home and join the call and participate in comfort and privacy. I could even have my dinner as we began our class, since our phones were on mute as we proceeded.

Toni and the co-facilitator, Sharon, were comforting, gave wonderful guidance and made the whole experience easy and fulfilling. There were two other women in my group, who were wonderful to spend time with as well. We each listened to each other, timing was perfect and we followed along in our books and the format Toni designed with Scripture and discussion.

As we reached the end of the eight week series, we gathered for a memorial service during the seventh week, prepared by Toni and Sharon at a private home. This was touching and comforting. We enjoyed a light lunch meal and fellowship. It was joyful to meet everyone in person for the first time and chattered (as females do) about experiences, ideas and future plans for our personal healing and ministry to help others.

I highly recommend the teleconference format and look forward to participating again and leading groups myself. It is not only a great option for women (and men) who don’t live near each other and have hectic lives filled with family and work. It is private option for people who are uncomfortable meeting in public places for this personal subject.

These study groups are not readily available at churches and other venues, which is something we all feel passionate about changing so that more lives can be touched by this healing ministry and the loving forgiveness of Jesus. I am grateful to Toni, Sharon, First Care Women’s Clinics, Surrendering the Secret author Pat Layton and the other women I spent time in study with.

Nanette Gordon, Boca Raton, Florida August 24, 2019

Recupero dall'aborto

Sunday Teleconference Call

testimonianze

I Now Have a Healthier Perspective on Who I Am in Christ

In 2017, Toni asked me to join in the conference calls to encourage the women who were struggling with the life choices they had made and were sometimes continuing to make.

These include abortion, substance abuse, unhealthy relationships and many other life choices that keep us from growing in our walk with Jesus.

Each week the facilitator discusses a topic which includes godly principles along with scripture to get us thinking on how we can relate to that particular life choice or past hurt that we need to heal from and how God can bring this healing into our lives.

We then have opportunity to share as she opens the call to all participants who feel comfortable and would like to share what is on their hearts and minds.

My experience from participating on this call has been so incredible! I have not only been used of God to encourage and build other women up, but I have grown in my walk with the Lord as we pursue the discussions.

God is using this ministry to bring healing I didn’t realize I needed and a deeper understanding to my life experiences.

It is giving me a healthier perspective on who I am in Christ.

Luci

La mia storia

Il viaggio di Toni

amico di Dio, moglie, mamma, avvocato

La vita è un viaggio, e tutti abbiamo la nostra storia.

La mia storia di aborto (Audio)

di Toni Weisz

Clicca qui per la versione spagnola

Ero scioccato e incredulo quando sono andato alla clinica femminile vicino al college che frequentavo in Ohio. Il mio ciclo era in ritardo, ma non mi sarei mai aspettato di sentire le parole, "Sei incinta." Non sapevo cosa fare prima: urlo, piangere, o scappare. lo sapevo, Tuttavia, che non potevo dirlo ai miei genitori. Ero “il buono”., uno tranquillo” in famiglia. Se dicessi loro che ero incinta, la maschera che avevo creato e indossato negli ultimi nove anni sarebbe caduta e sarebbe stata distrutta. Dio sa che ho continuato a indossare la maschera fino a quando non lo ero 50, ma questo è un storia per un'altra volta.

Era il Ringraziamento, 1980. Come la maggior parte degli studenti universitari, Sono andato a casa a visitare la mia famiglia per le vacanze. Essere a casa durante il Ringraziamento è sempre stato un periodo molto intenso. Mio fratello era una delle stelle della squadra di football locale delle scuole superiori, quindi ovviamente abbiamo partecipato al grande gioco. Tutti amavamo guardare mio fratello suonare.

Mentre alcuni di noi erano riuniti in cucina quel Giorno del Ringraziamento, chiese mia mamma, "Indovina chi è incinta?"Ho trattenuto il respiro per alcuni secondi, battito cardiaco. Non avevo idea di come avrebbe potuto scoprirlo. Poi nuovamente, Credevo che mia madre avesse gli occhi nella parte posteriore della sua testa; era strano quanto potesse scoprire. Trattengo ancora il respiro, la conversazione è continuata. La mamma ha risposto alla domanda che ha presentato e detto, "Tua zia Kathy." Zia Kathy era in piedi con noi in cucina durante l'annuncio della mamma, così la baciai sulla guancia e mi congratulai con lei. È stata una chiamata ravvicinata, un po 'troppo vicino. Dovevo fare qualcosa per la mia gravidanza, e lo farei, quando sono tornato a scuola.

La notte prima del mio aborto pianificato, Ho bevuto e usato droghe pesanti. Al momento del mio appuntamento, ero terribilmente sospeso. Mentre guidavo fino alla clinica, ho pensato, "Questo è pazzesco. Cosa sto pensando? Avrei dovuto farmi guidare da qualcuno. " Chiaramente, a quel punto non pensavo molto a nulla.

Quando sono arrivato in clinica, che era molto elegante, mi hanno chiesto se avevo mangiato qualcosa. "Sì", ho risposto. Disse la donna dietro il bancone, "Non puoi avere questa procedura oggi perché hai mangiato qualcosa". Ero così scoraggiato. Ho chiesto alla donna se era sicura. Ha risposto allo stesso modo e ha aggiunto quello secondo la politica clinica, Non mi sarebbe stato permesso di abortire quel giorno. Non ci potevo credere. Era l'inizio di dicembre, bene nel mio secondo trimestre.

Sulla strada di casa, la città era desolata. Era 7:30 Sono un sabato, quindi nessuno era sulla strada. Mi sentivo così solo, e ora frenetico. Questa volta avevo davvero rovinato tutto. Non potrei avere questo bambino.

Per i principianti, Credevo che mio figlio sarebbe stato gravemente deformato a causa delle droghe pesanti, alcool, e fumo che stavo facendo. A parte questo, Non potevo far sapere ai miei genitori che ero incinta al di fuori del matrimonio. Per quanto riguarda il padre del bambino, bene, non aveva molto da dire sulla situazione. In pratica mi ha permesso di prendere la decisione da solo.

Ho deciso di prendere un altro appuntamento, questa volta in una clinica del centro città. Probabilmente puoi immaginare che non era bello come la clinica precedente, ma questa volta ero preparato e non ho mangiato nulla prima della procedura. La data era dicembre 10, 1980. È stata una giornata molto triste nella mia vita, uno che ricorderò per sempre.

Fino ad allora, il mio passato era disseminato di detriti di relazioni malsane e persone piacevoli. Per anni ho sofferto in silenzio, sentirsi non amato, respinto, e indegno di amore per questo. Come se ciò non bastasse, Stavo per immergermi a lungo nella testa del profondo, disperazione oscura. Depressione, solitudine, pensieri suicidi e attacchi di pianto incontrollabile sono diventati la mia vita.

Se avessi potuto impedire a me stesso di 21 anni di prendere quella decisione, Avrei avuto in un batter d'occhio. È stata una delle peggiori decisioni che abbia mai preso. Come risultato di questa ferita da aborto, Continuerei a prendere decisioni sbagliate nel tentativo di nascondere i miei peccati.

Nel frattempo, Gesù mi avrebbe guardato, piangendo per me. Conosceva il percorso distruttivo che avrei continuato per molti anni e il suo cuore si spezzò con il mio il giorno in cui avevo interrotto la mia bellezza, ragazzino.

Adesso, sono 59 Anni. Sono diventato un credente nato di nuovo in Gesù Cristo all'età di 34. Ho iniziato il mio viaggio di recupero dell'aborto a settembre 11, 2006.

Ho dedicato la mia vita, le mie risorse, mio tempo, e la mia energia nel recupero dell'aborto e nella guarigione per me stesso e le altre donne.

Questa è la mia storia, e Dio l'ha usato per il mio bene e la sua gloria! Sono così grato per la misericordia di Gesù su di me, Il suo perdono dei miei peccati, e per avermi purificato da ogni mia ingiustizia. Sono una nuova creazione in Cristo; le cose vecchie sono passate; ecco, tutte le cose sono diventate nuove! (2 Corinthians 5:17)

ho una nuova vita, un nuovo scopo, e una nuova canzone tutta a causa di Gesù, mio bellissimo Salvatore.

Sei in un posto sicuro Amato; la mia squadra e io siamo pronti a camminare con te in questo viaggio di guarigione.

Leggi il mio post intitolato: LA MIA MASCHERA DI PERFEZIONE

Grazie per il dolore, Signore

CLICCA QUI per la VERSIONE SPAGNOLA

Thank you for pain, Signore, because without it I might not have found you.

Geremia 29:13 E tu mi cercherai e mi troverai, quando mi cerchi con tutto il cuore.

Il dolore è una buona cosa; mi rende consapevole che c'è un problema. Credo che Dio ci dia la capacità di provare dolore per farci sapere che qualcosa non va e ha bisogno della nostra attenzione.

Non ho mai sviluppato una voce quando ero più giovane; anziché, Ho riempito tutti i miei sentimenti da quando ero un bambino molto piccolo fino alla fine dei miei 20 e primi 30 anni. Fu durante quel periodo che la mia salute stava fallendo, e stavo avvertendo tutti i tipi di dolori alle articolazioni e alla parte bassa della schiena, fatica, e depressione. I dottori pensavano che avessi la malattia di Lyme, così mi hanno iniziato con gli antibiotici.

Quando non ho migliorato, hanno raddoppiato il mio dosaggio, che mi ha causato avvelenamento da antibiotici. A causa di questo alto dosaggio, la mia pressione sanguigna è diminuita e anche la mia temperatura corporea; Mi sono sentito orribile. Avevo solo bisogno di un po 'di sollievo. Credo che Dio abbia usato i miei problemi di salute per attirare la mia attenzione.

Ho avuto anche un esaurimento emotivo. Tutto il ripieno che avevo fatto durante la mia vita stava iniziando a uscire lateralmente, e non avevo controllo sulla mia rabbia e rabbia. Ho provato vergogna e senso di colpa dopo le mie esplosioni a causa delle cose che avrei fatto e detto. Darei dei calci alle finestre e colpivo i muri. Vorrei digrignare i denti e ringhiare. Era uno spettacolo spaventoso, soprattutto per i miei figli. Ero fuori controllo.

Ero così distrutto e riuscivo a malapena a superare la giornata. Ero stanco di indossare la maschera e fingere. Volevo solo essere amato e accettato per quello che ero.

A causa della mia paura del rifiuto e dell'abbandono, Ero terrorizzato a togliermi la maschera ed essere aperto e vulnerabile. Ma, indossare la maschera è diventato sempre più difficile ed estenuante da fare.

Non potevo più fingere che la mia vita fosse perfetta quando in realtà stava andando in pezzi.

In passato ho usato droghe, alcool, promiscuità, sigarette, shopping, qualsiasi cosa per aiutarmi a far fronte al dolore. Avevo bisogno di qualcosa o qualcuno che mi togliesse il dolore perché quelle cose smettevano di funzionare per me.

Mi stancavo di svegliarmi sul pavimento del bagno dopo una notte di bevute e pensieri, "Non voglio che i miei figli pensino che sia ok." Avevo bisogno di aiuto, disperatamente.

Non ho mai imparato a comunicare correttamente nella mia casa di origine. Di conseguenza, Riempivo e trattenevo i miei sentimenti di dolore o delusione. Non potevo nemmeno chiedere quello di cui avevo bisogno.

Tutto quel dolore per non essere ascoltato o avere una voce era un peso molto pesante per me.

Avevo permesso ad altri di manipolare, abuso, e controllami per tutta la vita. Credevo di non essere una persona di valore o di valore, perché se lo fossi, la gente mi avrebbe trattato in modo diverso. Ho riconosciuto di aver abilitato questo comportamento malsano perché non avevo confini e non amavo e rispettavo me stesso.

Come potevo aspettarmi che gli altri mi trattassero con amore, gentilezza, e rispetto quando in fondo credevo di meritare di essere maltrattato, soprattutto dopo il mio aborto?

Alla fine sono arrivato alla fine di me stesso ed ero disposto a provare Dio.

Sapevo che stavo rovinando la mia vita e davvero non mi restava nulla da perdere. Era stato appena dopo Natale, 1993. Stavo dipingendo la stanza di mia figlia e ho sentito un messaggio su Sarah e Abraham. Lo Spirito Santo ha iniziato a disegnarmi e mi ha dato audacia per andare a parlare con mio marito. Scesi le scale e dissi, “A che ora è la chiesa domani?"Pensavo che sarebbe caduto dal divano.

“9:30”, rispose.

"Vorrei andare in chiesa domani con te."

"Grande, dobbiamo andarcene 9:00.”

"Buona, Sarò pronto. "

Al tempo, stavamo frequentando due chiese separate la domenica: i bambini e io siamo andati in una chiesa, e mio marito un altro. Ma le cose stavano per cambiare, radicalmente.

Quella domenica di gennaio 1994, per la prima volta, Ho sentito che Gesù è morto sulla croce per i miei peccati!!! Mi ha lasciato senza fiato. Non avevo mai sentito predicare in questo modo.

Entro 4 settimane, Ho ceduto la mia vita a Gesù, ho confessato i miei peccati, e ha ricevuto il dono del perdono che Dio dà liberamente a tutti coloro che lo invocano.

In febbraio 6, 1994 Sono nato di nuovo.

È stato il giorno più bello e dolce della mia vita.

Finalmente, Ho trovato qualcuno che poteva togliermi il dolore, vergogna, colpa, e peccato. Che meraviglioso Salvatore.

Luca 11:9-10

Quindi ti dico, Chiedi, e ti sarà dato; ricercare, e troverai;
bussare, e ti sarà aperto.

Per tutti coloro che chiedono riceve, e chi cerca trova,
e a chi bussa,
sarà aperto.

In che modo Dio ha usato il dolore per attirare la tua attenzione?

Le tue donazioni * sono molto apprezzate e aiutano le altre donne a uscire dall'oscurità e all'isolamento nella gloriosa luce curativa di Gesù.
Grazie mille!

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