Eu Sou a Flor Silvestre de Deus

Eu Sou a Flor Silvestre de Deus

Blog de Luci

I was part of the sexual Abuse Recovery Bible Study with a small group of women through the “My Ashes To Beauty” ministry. And when I agreed to participate, I figured it had been so many decades since the abuses took place that there wouldn’t be any new discoveries. Well, it turns out there were things that I had not yet processed, even with all the counseling I had over the years.

I had the opportunity to mourn the loss of a safe and happy childhood and teen years that every girl deserves to experience. One of the things that really moved me is when we shared photos of the timeframe that we lost our innocence. I felt such compassion for the other women’s photos and how precious and vulnerable they appeared at the time of their abuses. When I looked at my photo, I felt such love and mercy for the young adolescent girl, that was me; I shed tears over that. I didn’t see myself back then, the way I now do. I had blamed myself for the abuses and couldn’t see beyond how it defined me. I was reminded over the course of this study that I am God’s precious and adored daughter! And that was definitely a good thing to allow to sink into my heart!

As I got to know the women in this intimate setting and hear their stories, I realized, I’m not alone in this, that others have experienced similar atrocities and it endeared me to them. We bonded in a way that goes beyond a typical group gathering for prayer or Bible study. I got the sense that God brought this particular group together so we could pray for, encourage and show one another that there is further healing and work to be done. The prayers that were prayed over us was like a healing balm that sunk deep into my soul!

Sexual abuse recovery takes time, as we peel away layers of false beliefs and negative thinking which keeps us in bondage and from moving further on the beautiful path that God has for each of us to walk. Not only do we need to continue to grow in Him, but He also wants to use us to show others the healing and forgiveness that is waiting for them, through His love. This study ws a safe place to share and be vulnerable with like-minded women.

His beloved,

Lúcia

 

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Da vergonha à vitória (Parte 5): Então Jesus Veio para Meu Resgate

When I was a kid, my mom would take me and my brother to church where I heard about a man named Jesus. From what I was taught about Him, I thought he was supposed to protect me. But with everything that happened to me, I thought He had abandoned me like my parents did. I remember lying in bed, telling Jesus that if I was a good girl, could He make my daddy stop drinking and my mommy happy? It didn’t happen so; I gave up on Him.

After I left my husband, I kept coming back to that moment that I was willing to take his life and something stopped me. What stopped me? Who stopped me? I kept coming back to Jesus, ‘did You stop me Jesus?’ I began to seek and find out more about who Jesus really is.

I began listening to Moody Radio and all their programs. I needed a safe place to start. I listened faithfully and one-night Dr. James Dobson who I listened to regularly, once again, gave an invitation to receive Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. I got on my knees, prayed and received Jesus Christ as MY Lord and Savior. He loved me enough to die on the cross for me and He loved me enough to stop me from making the biggest mistake of my life. I am eternally grateful to Him.

—Rhonda

 

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Da vergonha à vitória (Parte 4): O abuso intensificado na minha idade adulta

Rhonda’s Story

Life carried on, I graduated high school and went to college. After I graduated, I met a man that I thought I was so in love with. He made me feel special, wanted, loved and beautiful. He seemed to be everything I had been looking for in a man. We got engaged after a short courtship and a year later we got married. Very shortly after that his demeanor changed. He started acting jealous, trying to control what I wore and getting in between my relationships with friends and family.

I don’t remember the first time he beat me; I just remember it didn’t stop after that. Every day he would get upset about something and beat me. He was a tall man and would grab me by my throat hold me off the ground until I passed out while punching me in the head. In the beginning, I would run into the bathroom and lock the door and hide in the shower. But he kicked the door open, and beat me in the shower. He then removed the bathroom door so I couldn’t hide in there again.

I remember running out of the of the house one freezing winter night in just my clothes and socks. It was so cold outside but I didn’t care! I ran and ran until I found a building to hide behind. I sat behind an Arby’s restaurant shaking and crying, thinking about what to do, who to call. Since I had cut off all ties with friends and family, there was no one. As I sat there shaking and crying, I realized I had no place to go so I got up and walked back to the house. He beat me and raped me that night, telling me it was my fault and that I made him do it.

The beatings and rapes continued until one night I stood chopping carrots in the kitchen getting dinner ready and he walked in. He was in a bad mood. I knew what was coming as his voice started escalating. I remember thinking what kind of life is this? I wanted to get married, be loved, have kids and a beautiful home. But here I was. I remember thinking, I would rather spend the rest of my life in jail for murder than live like this. It was like I had left my body and I was watching in slow motion; I took the knife I had in my hand raised my arm and spun around. I screamed at him ready to stab him and something stopped me, I came back to reality thinking I had just stabbed him, but something stopped me. I saw fear in his eyes for the first time. He never touched me again and it wasn’t long after that I left for good.

Parte 5 Click Here.

 

Nós somos adotados

Nós somos adotados

Isaías 49:15

Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son (child) of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you.

Mateus 10:29-31

Não se vendem dois pardais por uma moeda de cobre? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are numbered. Não tema, portanto; você vale mais que muitos pardais.

John 14:18

I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.

God treasures the orphan. He knows that they are alone with no one to care for them and are vulnerable to the evil in this world. Some of you were abandoned as children to fend for yourselves without any love or protection. My heart breaks each time I hear your childhood stories of abuse and neglect. Your heavenly Father has a righteous anger towards parents who abuse, neglect and abandon their children. I want you to know that God sees you. He wants to receive you into His loving arms so that He can be your Father, your Protector and your Provider. He is the perfect parent—patient, kind, gentle, loving and always available. Please know just how much you are loved and cherished by God.

Courageous women and men are choosing life for their babies all the time. Contudo, we rarely hear their stories. I want to bless your heart and encourage you today with a beautiful story of God’s faithfulness towards a mother who chose adoption over abortion. Read here: The Mysterious Providence of God: An Adoption Story, https://www.care-net.org/abundant-life-blog/the-mysterious-providence-of-god-an-adoption-story

Deus é amor. His Spirit is moving to heal, redeem and tenderly lead us to the life He has planned for us—one that leads to freedom, peace and joy. Take heart dear ones. Não, we did not choose life for our babies, but God didn’t end our stories there. He continues His work of restoring us, drawing us closer to Himself and loving us in the way that only He can. These are God’s words for you today, “I know how your heart broke when I revealed your unborn baby to you—the secret you had been hiding for so long. My dear child, I collected all of your tears in a bottle. I am looking forward to the day when we can be together in heaven forever. Where there is no more evil, abuso, pain or sorrow. Until then please know how much I love you. Your Abba Father.”

I am not rejected. Eu sou aceito.

I am not abandoned. Eu sou adotado.

Obrigada, for that truth, senhor.

Please let me know how we can pray for you?

If you have experienced abuse or neglect in your past, please know God is here to heal you. He is not like your human abuser. He is gentle, loving and kind. His love is pure and holy. Please come to Him today, and leave your past at the foot of the cross. Give it all to Jesus.

Você é amado,
Toni

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Obediência

Obediência

Romanos 6:23
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Mateus 11:28-30
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Romanos 2:4b
“Not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?”

John 10: 28
“And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.”

Quando criança, I developed a strong sense of responsibility. I took on shame immediately for any wrong doing. My fear of authority figures caused me to become a people-pleaser. I was a very compliant child because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone, especially my parents. I yearned for love and acceptance so much so that I would do anything to obtain it. I developed an unhealthy thinking pattern and a false belief system because of what I witnessed in my home and in church. I saw those in authority—attributing their behavior to God—act very harshly when someone disobeyed the rules. Please read my blog, Pensamento fedorento: Minha visão distorcida de Deus. Como resultado, I obeyed my elders out of fear of punishment and rejection, not out of love or reverence.

I demonstrated good moral behavior until I reached the age of 12 when “the good, quiet one” persona no longer sufficed. I began rebelling against everything I knew was right. Because of my fear of rejection, I put a great deal of energy into not getting caught. You can imagine how I lived with many secrets and hid behind a mask. I lived a lie. At home, I played the role of the “good, quiet one.” However, in public, I got drunk, used drugs and started having sex at the age of 16. All of this culminated in my abortion at the age of 21. With a firm grip on my soul, the evil one led me down a path of death and destruction. Blinded by pride and deception, I believed that I could live a life of freedom by pursuing my own desires and pleasures. Contudo, the opposite was true. My life belonged to the devil. He would eventually use me to do the unthinkable—murder my own child. I firmly believe that if we truly knew the love of God and understood it, we would not seek love outside of marriage. We would feel cherished, whole, secure and free. We wouldn’t need drugs, alcohol and other empty vices to fill the void in our hearts because we have such a strong connection to the true source of love—Jesus.

God wants us to obey Him out of love, not fear of punishment. It’s the goodness of God that leads to true repentance and a relationship with Jesus—a relationship without bondage but true freedom. Striving to be perfect by obeying unattainable rules does not draw us closer to Christ. He desires to show us His way of love, graça, forgiveness and peace. I pray that we can share this message of hope with others. For God so loved the world that He gave His most precious gift—His only Son—to die for us. If that is not a picture of sacrificial love, then I don’t know what is.

I have found that true joy comes from obeying God no matter how I feel because my emotions can be deceiving. Being faithful to follow God’s lead in my life brings a long-lasting peace. Women often say to me, “I am really struggling in my relationship with Christ.” What I have come to understand is that the key to a strong relationship with Him is obedience. If you desire a more fulfilling relationship with God, then obey the leading of the Holy Spirit even when you don’t see how God can intervene in your circumstances. Remember that God’s ways are not our ways. True peace comes from obeying God. When we do that, we are safe and secure under His protective umbrella. He shields us from the enemy’s fiery darts, and no one can snatch us out of His hand.

In this season, we are embarking on a very important study, “In the Wildflowers,” which deals with the evil of sexual abuse. The enemy has been hard at work to derail this study. Tormented by the enemy, one of my family members has begun lashing out and attacking me verbally. Someone also attempted to take out a $75,000 small business loan in my name through identity theft. Stay close to God, querido, because the enemy knows that many will be saved, curado, redeemed and set free. Obey God even when life becomes difficult and you struggle to understand His plan. Rest assured. You will be blessed.

Love you all,

Toni

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