Pensamento fedorento: Minha visão distorcida de mim mesmo

by Toni Weisz/Stinking Thinking

Scripture References: Isaías 43:18–19 and Psalm 62:18–19

Stinking Thinking refers to the negative thoughts that torment us (especially when we are HALT (Hsem raiva, UMAcom raiva, euapenas ou Tirado) ou disturbing thoughts, such as a distorted view of God, ourselves, or others. We will learn to discern the truth from the lies we have believed all of our lives. Our goal is to equip you so you can have victory in every area of your life.

Isaías 43:18–19
“Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

Salmo 62: 6–8
“He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.”

I was the oldest of three and came from a strict second-generation, Italian-American family. My father and his two brothers and sister ran a family-owned construction company started by my grandfather.

My grandfather had a drinking problem. UMAnd my dad acted like an alcoholic even though he did not drink. I refer to his behavior as a “rageaholic.” He worked extremely long hours and was dealing with a lot of stress and family drama. He was not able to communicate in a healthy manner without becoming angry and raising his voice. He had a very short fuse. então, when he was home, I would literally want to run and hide.

I had an over–developed sense of responsibility, and I took on shame very quickly as a child. My dad was very unpredictable and scary at times. As a result of this, I hid behind my wall to protect myself. I pretended to be the good, quiet one, in order to protect myself and to set myself apart from my sister (who was 15 months my junior) and my brother (who was born three years after her).

How was I supposed to get the love and attention I needed? After the “good, quiet one” persona was not working anymore, I started sneaking Scotch whiskey from my parents’ liquor cabinet. Like I said, my dad did not drink, so he did not know I was watering down his liquor until I overheard my uncle comment on it one day when he had a drink. I thought, “Oh no, I am in trouble now.” But nothing ever came from that.

Now I was really hiding because of all the sins I was pilling up while still keeping up the façade of the good, quiet one. By 13, I was getting high and doing other drugs. No 16, I was having sex. And at 21, I was pregnant and unmarried. My life was a recipe for disaster.

I felt very insecure because I started gaining a lot of weight from all the extra calories from the liquor and binging after getting high. I felt ugly, fat, unloved, alone, and depressed. I never developed my voice either, so all the stuffing I had been doing during my life was about to come out sideways, and I would not be able to control it. I would become like my father, a “rageaholic.”

After many years of destructive choices, unhealthy copying mechanisms and addictions, my self-loathing was at an all-time high. My depression was preventing me from functioning normally and all the pain I had been stuffing all my life was coming out sideways. I had no control over it. I was like a walking volcano. I literally just wanted to end this disaster of a life and stop the torment I was experiencing.

I felt I was not worthy to be loved. Na verdade, I thought I deserved to be emotionally abused by others because of my abortion. I did not see myself as a person of value to anyone, not even to God. This destructive pattern would continue until I was 34, when by the grace of God, I heard the gospel and within 4 weeks got saved and asked Jesus to forgive my sins and be my Lord and Savior. The most beautiful and memorable day of my life is February 6, 1994, when I became born-again.

Even after my salvation, I felt I had to work for God’s love and for the approval of others in leadership at Church. My people–pleasing was consuming my life, and God showed me that this is idolatry, that anything that I put above God is an idol.

Slowly over time as He poured His love and grace over me and with many years of recovery, intensive inner–healing work, and involvement in high–accountability groups, God showed me His love for me was not based upon my good works and that it was only because of Jesus’ death on the cross on my behalf that I was now righteous before God.

I stopped striving to please people and only live my life to please God. As a result of this new mindset, I have become more dependent upon God and bolder and more courageous. I am so grateful for the wonderful adventure the Lord and I are on right now.

QUESTIONS TO TAKE TO HEART:

How has your distorted view of yourself opened you up to all kinds of abuse and sin as a way of trying to cope with all the pain?

How has your distorted view of yourself changed over the years as God has given you awareness and the courage to change?

Please reach out if you need prayer or someone to talk to. You can email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Você é amado,
Toni

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Pensamento fedorento: Ansiedade

Philippians 4:6-7 and Matthew 6:25-26, 31 and 33

Philippians 4:6
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication (humbly asking) with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Matthew 6:25-26, 31, and 33
“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not your life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather in barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you.”

Stinking Thinking refers to the negative thoughts that torment us especially when we are HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired; thoughts such as a distorted view of God and self, Pensamento negativo, justificação, medo, e ansiedade. Abordaremos cada um desses tópicos para que possamos discernir entre as mentiras em que acreditamos ao longo dos anos e substituí-las pela verdade de Deus. Nosso objetivo é equipá-lo para que possa ter vitória nessas áreas.

I become anxious when I negatively project into the future without God in it. When I do this, I feel weak, hopeless, and discouraged. My head and eyes are cast down and I feel like giving up. But when I recognize I am looking inward, then I remind myself that my help comes from the Lord and I look up to heaven. God has promised us in His Word, that He will meet all of our needs. Are you not of more value than many sparrows? But unfortunately, I did not know Him nor did I trust Him, and as a result, I have made some very bad decisions because I did not trust Him with my future.

I thought I could minimize my anxiety by trying to control everyone and everything. But I realized this was impossible to do and it was very frustrating and emotionally draining. I used to jump in to fix and rescue people because I would become anxious about all the what ifs. I was sinning against God by not trusting Him with my marriage, minhas crianças, my business, and ministry. I remember in my journaling, God telling me, “Get out of my way you are preventing me from working.” IN ALL CAPS, TOO. God was not happy with me. God showed me that my lack of trust in Him was a sin and putting others before Him was an idol. I repented and turned away from my sin and turned to God and now I am not anxious about anything, because I know God will provide for all my needs and my family’s needs as well. I am finally free.

Let me ask you, what are you trying to control?

Are you feeling anxious?

Bênçãos,

Toni

Pensamento fedorento: Justificação - justificando meu pecado

Genesis 3: 8-13 and Proverbs 11:14b

And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.” And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?” Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” And the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Stinking Thinking refers to the negative thoughts that torment us especially when we are HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired; thoughts such as a distorted view of God and self, Pensamento negativo, justificação, medo, e ansiedade. Abordaremos cada um desses tópicos para que possamos discernir entre as mentiras em que acreditamos ao longo dos anos e substituí-las pela verdade de Deus. Nosso objetivo é equipá-lo para que possa ter vitória nessas áreas.

I define justification, more specifically justifying sin, as the belief that I am making a right or reasonable decision, when in fact the opposite is true. I have heard almost every excuse to justify a woman’s choice for an abortion; I had several myself. I allowed the enemy to isolate me and to lie to me, just like he did to Adam and Eve when they ate the forbidden fruit and sinned against God. As a result of my sin, I rushed to make my decision and not ask for help or discuss it with anyone. It’s the one thing we as woman don’t ask for help with, why is that? We talk to our friends or family about other decisions we make, but why not this one? I believe the enemy immediately swoops in and starts flooding our minds with all kinds of chaos, coupled with lies, medo, e ansiedade. This combination is overwhelming to our minds and we scramble to stop the noise in our heads so we can return to normal. I did not have my abortion until my second trimester, but I had my mind made up immediately I was going to have an abortion. I had to wait months to have my procedure because I didn’t follow protocol and ate before my first scheduled abortion so I had to reschedule. I had to make 2 abortion appointments! Perhaps God was giving me a way to escape, but I wasn’t seeking His counsel. Instead I felt justified in my decision to move forward with the abortion.

The reasons I used to justify my abortion were the following: I believed the lie that my baby would be severely deformed because I was doing heavy drugs, drinking excessively, and smoking 2-3 packs of cigarettes per day. I was still in college in Ohio with no job and I thought I can’t have a child now! I believed the father of the child would leave me to raise the child on my own. But the biggest reason was that I was afraid to tell my parents. I regret that I did not have the courage to admit to my parents that I made a mistake. I never gave them an opportunity to have a say in my decision because I took matters into my own hands. My fear and pride prevented me from telling the truth, I wish I would have told them, because I could have my 40-year-old son with me today. But I cannot go back and change my past, all I can do is learn from it and understand why this broken frightened woman could not tell her parents the truth. I remember when after watching the movie, “Unplanned”, I was at my laundry room sink and the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart, “Every child in the womb is mine,” tears filled my eyes and I replied, “I know Lord and I robbed you of the baby in my womb and I am so sorry.”

Sin is never justified. Looking back at our first parents, Adam and Eve. We see they pointed their finger at someone else to justify their sin before God. The exchange is quite interesting and we use the same tactics today. In Genesis 3, after Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit, God is calling to them, “Where are you?” God called Adam by his name wanting him to confess his sin but instead he justified his sin and accused the woman who God gave him, and Eve likewise accusing the serpent. Instead of taking responsibility for their sins, they blamed someone else. Their pride prevented them from humbling themselves before God and repenting of their sin. My pride prevented me from asking my parents and God for help in my abortion decision. Instead I listened to the devil, and I suffered for years as a result of my decision.

We are here to help you make life affirming God glorifying decisions in your lives. Provérbios 11:14b, “In the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Please reach out if you are struggling with making good decisions.

May I ask you a few questions?

What were your reasons for your abortion(s), that at the time you felt were justified?

How do you see your decision-making process now?

What were the lies you believed?

What is the truth that God has shown you?

Bênçãos,

Toni

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Pensamento fedorento: Pensamentos negativos

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 and Philippians 4:8-9

O pensamento fedorento se refere aos pensamentos negativos que nos atormentam, especialmente quando estamos HALT (Hsem raiva, UMAcom raiva, euapenas ou Tirado) ou ter pensamentos como uma visão distorcida de Deus e de si mesmo, Pensamento negativo, justificação, medo, e ansiedade. Abordaremos cada um desses tópicos para que possamos discernir entre as mentiras em que acreditamos ao longo dos anos e substituí-las pela verdade de Deus. Nosso objetivo é equipá-lo para que possa ter vitória nessas áreas.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 NVI

“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty through God for pulling down of strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself above the knowledge of God, brining every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”

Philippians 4:8-9 NVI

“Finally, brethren whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there be any virtue and if there be anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received, and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with.”

All of us know a person who can suck all the air out of a room because every word that comes out of their mouth is negative. Have you ever experienced that before? It is emotionally draining to be in the company of a negative person for a long period of time, before we too are dragged down into the pit with them. Are you plagued with negative thoughts?

The enemy is continually trying to trip us up, because his goal is to get us to focus on the negative things, instead of all the things we should be thankful for. Do you have a gratitude list? If you don’t, I suggest you do one today, and write down all the things you are thankful for. When you feel a negative thought coming on, just get out your list and remind yourself, God is still on the throne and He is in control and He is aware of everything that is going on in the world. He uses all of it for His purpose and plans in all of our lives. We must remember God is good all the time, and He is love, that is His character. He never changes, He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

The battlefield truly is the mind, that is where spiritual warfare starts and that’s where we have a choice to take it on or not. Right now, we are experiencing a worldwide pandemic, many are fearful, but as believers we need to be seeking the Lord even more now, so we have His perspective on this. What are you focusing on now? Do you feel peaceful and hopeful or depressed and hopeless?

I have a list of Biblical truths that I read over every morning to remind myself that I am adopted and loved by God. This is how I put my armor on to protect myself from the fiery darts of the enemy.

Who I am in Christ, to Combat Rejection.

I am worthy.

I am loved.

I am accepted.

I am adopted.

I am confident and competent.

I am a child of God.

I have the Holy Spirit within me.

I am victorious in Christ.

I have a home in heaven.

Nothing can separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus my Lord.

I am valued by God, I am His precious child, I have a home in heaven.

I will fear no evil!

When I read this every morning it protects my mind from the lies and negative thoughts that the enemy wants me to focus on. When I don’t read my list, I am vulnerable to the enemy’s devices; I am impatient, unkind, and easily frustrated. Lord You are showing me that today in fact, I must make time with You each morning; You are my priority, reading Your Word daily is food for my soul, praying is a time for me to hear from you and to talk to you, and journaling is a time when I go even deeper with You seeking your wisdom and wanting so much to hear from you to lead and guide me in my life and in all I do, because I want my life to be pleasing to you and I want you to be glorified through it. Obrigada, senhor, for reminding me and convicting me of that today.

Father in heaven, I pray for each woman on this call and for the women on-line reading this blog. I pray they will seek you with their whole heart. Show them how much you love them in a very real and tangible way. Protect them from the lies and negative thoughts of the enemy and help them to focus on the things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report. Renew their minds daily as they read Your Word. Heal them and bind up their wounds as only You can, for you only, are their Mighty Counselor and Great Physician. Meet them where they are and lead them by Your righteous right hand. Forgive all of their sins and heal them Lord. Thank you for Your love, mercy, graça, and compassion upon them. We pray this in the powerful name of Jesus, Amen.

Do you struggle with negative thoughts?

How often are you plagued with these thoughts?

Is there a person or situation that causes you to start thinking negatively?

What have you done to help protect yourself from this kind of negative thinking?

Bênçãos,

Toni

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Pensamento fedorento: Minha visão distorcida de Deus

Provérbios 23:7uma, Romanos 2:4d, 1 Corinthians 6:20, e john 3:16

O pensamento fedorento se refere aos pensamentos negativos que nos atormentam, especialmente quando estamos HALT (Hsem raiva, UMAcom raiva, euapenas ou Tirado) ou ter pensamentos como uma visão distorcida de Deus e de si mesmo, Pensamento negativo, justificação, medo, e ansiedade. Abordaremos cada um desses tópicos para que possamos discernir entre as mentiras em que acreditamos ao longo dos anos e substituí-las pela verdade de Deus. Nosso objetivo é equipá-lo para que possa ter vitória nessas áreas.

Primeiro, a Palavra de Deus diz em Provérbios 23:7uma, “Pois como ele pensa em seu coração, ele também.” O que pensamos sobre nós dita como nos vemos, Deus, e outros, e como respondemos às coisas. Se nos vemos como filhos de Deus, amavam, amado e adotado pela família de Deus, veremos que somos verdadeiramente especiais, separado por Deus para boas obras. Teremos uma visão mais positiva do mundo. Se sentimos que não somos amados por causa de nossos pecados passados, e não uma pessoa de valor, vamos nos sentir deprimidos, sozinho, e sem esperança. Você pode ver que o que pensamos determina como nos sentimos?

Minha primeira visão distorcida de Deus começou quando eu era uma criança em torno 6 ou 7 anos. Eu vi Deus como um Deus irado que era inacessível. Me disseram quando era criança, se eu fizesse algo errado Deus me puniria, Eu estava constantemente esperando o martelo cair na minha cabeça toda vez que eu fazia algo errado. A igreja era velha e tinha lindos vitrais, mas por dentro estava escuro, frio, e as pessoas falavam em latim. Eu não vi o amor de Deus lá. Tudo o que vi foram regras rígidas e punições severas por desobedecer. Eu vi alunos batendo com réguas regularmente. Isso me manteve escondido novamente, como eu fiz em casa, quando meu pai estava tendo uma de suas explosões de raiva.

É a bondade de Deus que leva ao arrependimento. (Romanos 2:4d) Um método para modificar o comportamento é por meio do medo de julgamento; o outro é através do amor. Deus quer que o obedeçamos por amor e não por medo. Se você ama alguém e eles te amam, você quer passar mais tempo com essa pessoa, mas quando você pensa em alguém como uma pessoa severa, este não é alguém com quem você se sinta seguro e confortável. Você vê a diferença? Deus é amor, e sua graça é imerecida. Por causa do que Jesus fez por mim na cruz, o mínimo que posso fazer é servi-lo e obedecer à sua palavra. Fui comprado por um preço (1 Corinthians 6:20); o precioso sangue de Jesus pagou a pena pelos meus pecados e pelos pecados de todo o mundo.

Eu não vi o amor de Deus evidente em minha antiga igreja. Não foi até que eu estava 34, quando frequentei uma pequena igreja batista em NJ, que ouvi o evangelho pela primeira vez. O prédio era muito simples, sem janelas de vitral. Havia uma cruz na frente onde o pregador estava e um piano. Mas uma coisa que vi exibido foi o amor de Deus que essas pessoas tinham. Isso é o que me atraiu a Jesus. Era a pregação da Palavra de Deus por meio da Bíblia e o amor de Deus nas palavras e ações e nos rostos das pessoas que frequentavam aquela pequena igreja.

John 3:16 “Pois Deus amou o mundo de tal maneira que deu Seu filho unigênito… ” Ele nos amou tanto que deu Seu Filho para morrer por você e por mim; essa é uma imagem de amor sacrificial. Obrigada, Jesus, por morrer voluntariamente na cruz por nós, Eu sei que é o seu amor pelo mundo que o manteve naquela cruz.

Eu acredito que o inimigo está trabalhando duro para distorcer nossa visão de Deus, para nos fazer duvidar de que Ele realmente nos ama e se preocupa conosco. Olhe para Eva no jardim, a cobra (Satanás), o enganador e pai das mentiras, tentando plantar sementes de dúvida na mente de Eva sobre se a Palavra de Deus é confiável. Eu posso imaginar que ela estava pensando, “Deus está escondendo algo bom de mim, Ele realmente não me ama, porque se Ele o fizesse, Ele me daria tudo que eu quero. ” Adão e Eva não sabiam o que era melhor para eles, e é o mesmo conosco; também não sabemos o que é melhor para nós. Deus nos disse para não fazer sexo antes do casamento. Ele estava escondendo de nós? Não, na verdade ele estava nos protegendo, especialmente aqueles de nós que abortariam nossos bebês. Ele estava tentando proteger a nós e nossos bebês.

Eu percebi que era por amor que Deus não queria que eu fizesse sexo fora do casamento, porque ele queria me proteger. Se ao menos eu tivesse confiado em Deus e o convidado para o meu processo de tomada de decisão e acreditado que Ele proveria o meu filho e eu, então talvez eu tivesse tido coragem de escolher a vida para meu bebê. Em vez disso, minha visão distorcida de Deus me deixou com medo de abordá-Lo com minhas necessidades, qual era o inimigo’s plano. Se o inimigo pode nos fazer entrar em pânico e não buscar a Deus’sabedoria de s, provisão, e proteção, então ele ganhou a batalha.

Quais eram as suas visões distorcidas de Deus quando você era mais jovem?

Como você o vê agora?

Bênçãos,

Toni