Meus mecanismos de enfrentamento insalubres

Meus mecanismos de enfrentamento insalubres

Meus mecanismos de enfrentamento insalubres

por Toni Weisz/Recuperação de Abuso

Escrituras: Hebrews 13:5c, Romanos 12:1-2, John 8:31-32 e Sofonias 3:17

Romanos 12:1-2
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, sagrado, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good and acceptable perfect will of God.

John 8:31-32
Então Jesus disse aos judeus que acreditaram nele, “If you abide in my word, vocês são meus discípulos de fato. And you shall know the truth, e a verdade o libertará. ”

Coping mechanisms are defined as techniques we use to help us cope with the stress, dor, and trauma we have experienced in our lives.

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms:

  • Avoidance and Isolation
  • Drugs and Alcohol
  • Denial
  • Negócio
  • Rationalization
  • Control

From my childhood, I learned avoidance and isolation to keep me safe from unhealthy people or situations. Running and hiding is what I learned as a small child, and I still used those tactics as an adult until I got into recovery and learned new healthy coping mechanisms. Praise God!

Instead of avoidance, God gave me a voice, and I learned to communicate my likes and dislikes. I never developed a voice growing up, but once I put up boundaries, using my voice was necessary to communicate those boundaries to others. As time went by, I felt more comfortable sharing my heart with others without fear of rejection. God also told me to stop running and hiding and to leave the outcome to Him.

I started using alcohol and drugs no 12 years old when I was not getting the healthy attention I needed at home. I decided to start taking matters into my own hands, which was a defining moment in my life. As a result of that choice, I would run to other things other than God when I was hurting. I just wanted a quick fix to avoid the pain I had accumulated all my life. I used people and allowed them to use me. My life was filled with regret, fear of rejection, depressão, suicidal thoughts, and self-hatred. I thank God for having mercy on this broken woman. He saved me from my self-destructive lifestyle. I now run to Jesus to take my pain away. He is the only one who will never leave me nor forsake me (Referência. Hebrews 13:5c).

I was in denial about the dysfunction in my home of origin and my home with my husband and children for many years until I realized I cannot control another person and that doing anything out of fear never ends well. I don’t have the power to change another person; only God does. então, I relinquish control to God to change others or situations when I feel powerless. I was in denial due to my fear of rejection from my parents and spouse, so I obeyed ridiculous rules to be accepted and loved by others, but that never worked. When I finally received the love of Jesus in my heart, then I had the courage to stand on my own without fear of rejection from others because I knew God was with me, always.

Negócio was a tool the enemy used on me for decades. His purpose was to keep me so busy that I would not have time to recognize my dysfunctional life. My striving for love and acceptance, even from God, kept me working so hard to feel worthy. I never stopped long enough to evaluate my life, my choices, my relationships, my unhealthy view of myself, Deus, e outros. I was so messed up, but I could not see that until God showed me my ways were not working.

De volta 2010, I was so depressed I asked God to take me home because I just wanted to die. And He said, “Do you believe I can turn things around for your good?”

I said, "Sim, senhor, I believe that.”

Ele disse, “TRUST ME.”

After that, I got into ACA recovery work and an inner healing group for five years. God was exposing the lies with His truth. I was learning about boundaries and what that looks like, and He showed me that I was enabling abuse from others by not using my voice. God had me stop from all serving at church and First Care because I was that sick and needed God to intervene to heal me. God was so faithful and put the right people in my path, and I was healed and set free from all the dysfunction in my life and started experiencing true peace and freedom in Christ. In January 2013, I started this ministry. Praise Him!!! Obrigada, Jesus.

EU rationalized my abuse, thinking I must not be a person of value or else others would treat me differently. After my abortion, the enemy told me I deserve to be abused because of my decision to abort my child. My husband was very controlling, and my children and I were required to obey ridiculous rules. I rationalized in my head that if I didn’t obey those rules, he would leave me. The enemy used that lie for decades to keep me in bondage and in a very unhealthy home environment. I am thankful for the day I had courage to say, “No, I am not going to follow these rules,” and leave the outcome in God’s hands.

I was no longer fearful of him leaving. I trusted God to take care of me, and He did. My relationship with my husband now is better than it ever has been. I now know that I am loved and valued by God and that He doesn’t want me to accept abusive treatment from anyone; I don’t deserve to be abused regardless of my poor choices in the past. He loves me and wants me to use my voice to put up healthy boundaries and to protect myself from unhealthy people and situations. I cannot change my past. All I can do is learn from it and share my experience, strength, and hope with others so perhaps they can make healthy choices.

Control was a tool I learned to use when I was very young. I honestly believed I could control how others feel, what they do, and that I could control the outcome. That all was a lie. I had no control over any of those things. Areas I tried to control were how people reacted and behaved toward me. I tried to control what others saw in me by wearing a mask, and I also tried to control how much I weighed by taking speed, diet pills, and purging after I ate too much. God showed me by relinquishing control to Him that I can be set free from these obsessions and torment. He taught me to love myself just the way I am and to relinquish all control to Him because He will never harm me.

I am so grateful for the day I was set free from all my unhealthy coping mechanisms. I have learned new skills to help me cope with the pain and trauma from my past. I had to completely surrender everything and everybody to God. I no longer cared about what others thought of me. I didn’t obey ridiculous rules out of fear of being rejected, I now had a voice, and God has taught me how to use it to express my feelings in a healthy godly way. I am no longer in bondage to my old thinking and my old behavior patterns. I truly have become a new creation in Christ, with God’s help and by renewing my mind daily.

In Romans 12:2, the Bible says do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Daily time spent with God in His Word and listening to the Holy Spirit has helped me to move out of the chaos, dysfunction, and misery into a peaceful, joyful, and fulfilling life.

Perguntas para levar a sério:

  1. What have you used in the past to help you cope with the trauma you have experienced in your life?
  2. How did you break those unhealthy destructive behaviors?
  3. What are some healthy things you do now to help you cope in a godly way?
  4. Como podemos orar por você?

Rezo para que este tópico tenha sido útil para você. Entre em contato se precisar conversar: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

I will leave you with one of my favorite verses:
Sofonias 3:17
The Lord your God in your midst, the mighty One will save; Ele se alegrará por você com alegria, He will quiet you with His love, Ele se alegrará por você cantando.

Você é amado,
Toni

 

 

Leia mais sobre os blogs de Toni AQUI.
Estou tão grato pelo amor de Deus

Estou tão grato pelo amor de Deus

Estou tão grato pelo amor de Deus

por Toni Weisz/Recuperação de Abuso

Escrituras: Romanos 5:5, 1 John 4:7, Efésios 3:17-19, e Sofonias 3:17

Romanos 5:5
Agora a esperança não decepciona, porque o amor de Deus foi derramado em nossos corações pelo Espírito Santo que nos foi dado.

1 John 4:7
Amado, vamos nos amar, pois o amor é de Deus; e todo aquele que ama é nascido de Deus e conhece a Deus.

Efésios 3:17-19
Para que Cristo habite em seus corações pela fé; que você, estar enraizado e fundamentado no amor, possa compreender com todos os santos qual é a largura e o comprimento e a profundidade e a altura- conhecer o amor de Cristo que excede todo conhecimento; para que você seja cheio de toda a plenitude de Deus.

Sofonias 3:17
O Senhor teu Deus, em seu meio, o Poderoso salvará; Ele se alegrará por você com alegria, ele vai te acalmar com Seu amor, Ele se alegrará por você cantando.

 

Quero compartilhar meu diário de novembro 30, 2024. O Espírito Santo falando ao meu coração disse, “Eu nunca vou fazer você rastejar ou implorar por ajuda; Meu amor é extravagante.”

"Sim, é Senhor, e estou muito grato por isso.”

O Senhor disse,
“Meu amor é perfeito.
Meu amor é gentil.
Meu amor é gentil.
Meu amor é compassivo.
Meu amor cresce.
Meu amor abençoa os outros.
Meu amor incentiva.
Meu amor é eterno.”

Muitos de nós temos uma visão distorcida do amor de Deus por causa do tratamento e/ou abuso que recebemos, especialmente das pessoas mais próximas de nós.; aqueles que deveriam amar, nutrir, e nos proteja. Atribuímos essas características a Deus, e portanto, pensamos que Ele está com raiva, severo, abusivo, e inacessível, mas isso não poderia estar mais longe da verdade.

Acredito que a nossa visão distorcida do amor de Deus nos faz procurá-lo em outros lugares, de todas as pessoas erradas; porque quando crianças, não somos maduros o suficiente para compreender o quão fundamental é o amor em nosso emocional, físico, e crescimento e desenvolvimento espiritual. Afeta todos os aspectos de nossas vidas. Sentimos que não merecemos amor e que somos imperfeitos e indignos de ser amados por causa da maneira como os outros nos trataram no passado.. O maligno quer que acreditemos que Deus não nos ama.

Então, como podemos substituir nossa visão distorcida de Deus pela verdade? Primeiro, devemos nascer de novo; devemos ser cristãos, um filho de Deus, porque é o Espírito Santo de Deus Quem nos ajuda a conhecer Deus e a verdade da Sua Palavra. Segundo, temos que passar tempo com Deus em oração e na leitura de Sua Palavra. Assim como qualquer outro relacionamento, fica mais profundo com o tempo que passamos juntos. Terceiro, devemos acreditar que a Palavra de Deus é verdade e que Ele é amor, e não nosso membro da família cruel ou abusivo. Quarto, começamos a meditar em Sua Palavra e o Espírito Santo nos ajuda a começar a acreditar que verdadeiramente somos preciosos aos Seus olhos e que somos Seus filhos amados.

Uma vez que recebemos o amor de Deus no mais íntimo do nosso ser, estamos mudados para sempre. No meu blog, “Minha visão distorcida de Deus,” https://myashestobeauty.com/stinking-thinking-my-distorted-view-of-self-toni-weisz-abortion-recovery-and-abuse-support-group/, Falo sobre como o amor de Deus me mudou para sempre quando recebi Seu amor em meu coração. Já não duvidei; Eu realmente acreditei que era amado por Deus. eu era diferente; Não procurei mais outra pessoa para me validar e afirmar porque estava seguro no amor de Deus por mim. Eu não tive que atuar ou ser perfeito para ser digno o suficiente para receber Seu amor. Sou amado simplesmente porque Ele me criou e sou Seu filho.

Perguntas para levar a sério:

  1. Você cresceu se sentindo amado e seguro nesse amor??
  2. Foi difícil para você acreditar que Deus te ama? Se for assim, por que?
  3. Você recebeu o amor de Deus em seu coração? Se não, o que está impedindo você de acreditar que é amado por Ele?
  4. Como podemos orar por você?

Querido, Oro para que você também receba o amor de Deus em seu coração. Ele te ama mais do que você pode compreender. Ele se alegra com você com alegria, Ele acalma você com Seu amor, e Ele se alegra com você cantando (Referência. Sofonias 3:17).

Entre em contato se precisar conversar. Sinta-se à vontade para me enviar um e-mail: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

 

Você é amado,
Toni

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

De volta a BLOGUES

A raiva incontrolável dentro de mim (Parte 1 & 2)

A raiva incontrolável dentro de mim (Parte 1 & 2)

A raiva incontrolável dentro de mim (Parte 1)

por Toni Weisz/Recuperação de Abuso

Escrituras: Eclesiastes 7:9 e Salmo 4:4

Eclesiastes 7:9 Não seja rápido em seu espírito para ficar com raiva, pois a raiva se aloja no coração dos tolos. (ESV)

Salmo 4:4 Fique com raiva, e não peque. Medite dentro do seu coração na sua cama, e fique quieto. (ESV)

 

Minha casa de origem era caótica e emocionalmente insegura. Desde quando eu era criança, Eu não tinha voz e me escondi no fundo para ficar fora do radar. Meu pai estava tão estressado com os negócios da família que estava sempre no ponto de ebulição de seu temperamento. Eu o descrevo como um viciado em raiva. Ele não conseguia controlar sua raiva; isso o controlou. Como resultado, minha mãe tentou freneticamente controlar seu temperamento, forçando nós, crianças, a ficarmos quietos e submissos para não deixá-lo com raiva. Ela foi diagnosticada com artrite reumatóide em 23 anos. Minha mãe não estava preparada para lidar com a raiva do meu pai. Quando nós três nos comportaríamos mal, she would react in unhealthy ways. It was a very unpredictable place for a child.

I made decisions that were very unhealthy because I had no one else to turn to. My mom was so busy running around putting out fires, soshe didn’t see that I was struggling. My dad was so exhausted from running the family business, which was very demanding emotionally and physically. As a 12-year-old, I was isolated physically and emotionally, and that’s when the devil entered the picture. I started drinking Scotch whiskey from my parent’s liquor cabinet at 12 anos, using drugs at 13, having sex at 16, and having my abortion at 21.

When I think back on that time, I am so sad for the little girl who just wanted to be loved and cherished but didn’t experience that. Everyone was caught up in their own stuff, and they were not able to clearly see what was going on in our family. But the devil saw it; and man did he have a field day. A special note: I know my parents loved me and did the best they could with what they had.

I learned to wear a mask, hiding my feelings and stuffing them. This stuffing would eventually come out, but it was destructive and harmful. When I was a teenager in college and would get intoxicated, I would try to hurt myself by kicking in my dorm room window and punching doors and walls. I was filled with so much hatred towards myself, and I didn’t know where it was coming from or how to control it. Now looking back, I was angry that I did not receive the love I needed but instead was manipulated and emotionally abused by my family, feeling rejected and alone.

My boyfriend in college took me to the counseling center on campus. They only stirred up my anger even more, and then they would say, “Time is up. See you next week?” I was thinking to myself, “Now what am I supposed to do with all this junk you just brought up?!” I hated this process; there seemed to be no solution. This only caused me to medicate myself even more with drugs and alcohol to numb the pain that was surfacing.

When I would feel the rage building inside me, it was usually caused by a blocked goal or a perceived injustice. I would feel my cheeks getting hot and this thing rising within me. It was like this monster whom I had no control over; I would spew hot volcanic ash on anyone in my way. Then I would be overcome with these intense feelings of shame and guilt. This unhealthy behavioral pattern would last for decades. It was what I saw modeled in my home, and I knew no other way. I wish I wouldn’t have reacted like that, but I didn’t know what to do or who to turn to. Drinking and drugs were my escape from all the pain I had suffered all my life. They worked for a while, but I needed someone to love me just the way I was, someone who could take my pain away. I needed a miracle.

Then one day, I met Jesus, and He took all of my pain, healed my broken heart, and loved me just the way I was. I am so grateful for the day I became His child.

Perguntas para levar a sério:

  1. Do you struggle with extreme anger/rage due to your past trauma?
  2. How have you handled this in your past?
  3. Have you been able to conquer this monster?
  4. How were you able to do that?
  5. Como podemos orar por você?

Rezo para que este tópico tenha sido útil para você. Please reach out if you need to talk or if you need prayer: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Você é amado,
Toni

________________________________________________________

 

The Uncontrollable Rage within Me. Blog de Toni Weisz. post-abortion and abuse recovery support group

My Uncontrollable Rage Within Me (Parte 2)

por Toni Weisz/Recuperação de Abuso

Escrituras: Salmo 27:10, 141:3, and Ephesians 4:26-27, 29-32

Salmo 27:10
Quando meu pai e minha mãe me abandonam, then the Lord will take care of me.

Salmo 141:3
Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.

Efésios 4:26-27, 29-32
Fique com raiva, e não peque: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Deixe toda amargura, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away with all malice. And be kind one to another, compassivo, perdoando um ao outro, even as God in Christ forgave you.

 

How did I finally start having control over my anger? This was a very long and hard process. Primeiro, I had to go back to my home of origin to understand why I was so angry. I learned that I felt unloved and rejected, and I had no voice because I stuffed everything. My home was unpredictable, and I was scared. então, I hid in the shadows. My sister and brother had my parents very busy so I could slip in and out and sneak this and that, pretty much undetected by them, while keeping my, “good, quieto,” persona going.

I was saved at the age of 34, and God gave me an insatiable desire to read the Word of God. I would spend hours every day reading the Word and memorizing Scripture, and it was slowly transforming my life and healing my broken soul. Rejection was a huge wound for me. Once I was saved, I then had the Holy Spirit living inside me and felt His presence and peace in my life. He gave me the courage to step out and be healed.

But I still needed to acquire tools to help me navigate this in a healthy manner because exploding on people and punching walls was totally unacceptable. I needed to change that. But how? Slowly through the help of others and the work of the Holy Spirit in my life, I learned to communicate in a healthy manner to address things as they happen and not to stuff anymore. I learned to put up boundaries and not to overcommit and not to run and hide anymore. It was not easy, but it was worth it. I wanted to break this generational curse so it would not plague my children and their children. It takes courage to change, and I was determined to have a better quality of life and to improve in this area.

I started standing up for myself and not allowing others to manipulate and control me. I now felt like I had some control over the situations and individuals in my life. My life had become more manageable. I felt more peace because of the work of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God and also the recovery groups and the post-abortion Bible Studies I had done that all helped me heal. The Lord was slowly revealing truth to me. Eu sou amado, adopted, and cherished by my Heavenly Father. He is all I need.

Quando meu pai e minha mãe me abandonam, then the Lord will take care of me. (Salmo 27:10)

And He has taken good care of me. I am not that little girl anymore who has to run and hide. I can stand on God’s truth. I can use my voice to speak the truth in love. When I get angry or frustrated, I need to separate and take a few moments to collect my thoughts or go in another room until I cool down. I have learned not to speak while I am angry but to hold my tongue. I pray, and then I respond in a way that is calm and unemotional. I know what it is like to be hurt by others’ words, so I am very intentional that my words are encouraging and life affirming.

I rarely get angry like I used to because I no longer stuff my feelings. I communicate properly, and I don’t run away from difficult situations. I have an accountability partner that I speak with once per week. This helps me from falling into sin. It’s someone I can trust to share what’s going on in my life without judgment. I can be completely honest and open, and when I need to be corrected or challenged, she does that.

You can have victory over your anger, too. Primeiro, you must recognize what the root cause of your anger is. Is it unmet expectations, a blocked goal, medo, or some kind of injustice or abuse? As a child, all I wanted was to be loved and accepted. I wanted to be able to communicate and express myself without fear of punishment or harsh judgment. I wanted to feel safe emotionally.

Perguntas para levar a sério:

  1. What was your home of origin like? Describe it briefly.
  2. Were you able to communicate your thoughts and feelings freely?
  3. Did you struggle with anger? Se for assim, what was the root cause for your anger? Unmet expectations, a blocked goal, medo, or some kind of injustice or abuse?
  4. Como podemos orar por você?

I pray that with God’s help, you were or are able to discover the root causes for your anger. Entre em contato se precisar conversar: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

 

Você é amado,
Toni

 

De volta a BLOGUES

Por que eu luto com a intimidade?

Por que eu luto com a intimidade?

Por que eu luto com a intimidade?

por Toni Weisz/Recuperação de Abuso

Escrituras: 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, 7:1-9 and Revelation 21:4

Excerpt taken from an AACC book, The Bible for Hope: Caring for People God’s Way (Pages 1500–1501 by Clifford L. Penner and Joyce J. Penner):
“Women function on two tracks, the emotional and the physical. These must be connected for a woman to be interested and open to intimacy. Women open up when they feel loved and connected with their husbands.”

The problem we have as women who have experienced abortion and/or abuse is we are not deeply connected emotionally. We have a fear of intimacy. Intimacy does not come easy for us. We have built a wall around ourselves to keep us safe and protected. But those walls have become our prison cell, and we are locked behind them, feeling all alone and isolated. We cannot give or receive love in this place.

We need someone to come and rescue us. We need our Savior, Jesus, to come and slowly take the bricks away that are around our heart so we can slowly walk out of this prison into more intentional and intimate relationships with people. It can be scary at first, but Jesus is leading us with His righteous right hand. We are safe with Him.

How do we finally break free and trust again? It is a very slow process that can take many, many years. I was struggling to be more intimate with my husband and to relax and enjoy being with him, instead of just rushing through it, because I have had this wall up around my heart for so long. No passado, he was not a person I trusted to not hurt me emotionally. But I have been seeing some improvement, and he did take good care of me after my surgery back in June 2024. então, I am feeling like it is time to reevaluate that boundary. I have shared this with my accountability partner, and we are both praying about this for me. I want to honor God in my marriage.

I was also plagued with bad memories from my past regarding our relationship. They would come out of nowhere, but I know who the author of it is; the enemy hates marriage, and he would rather I not be the godly, loving wife God created me to be. I am intentionally going back to those unpleasant memories with Jesus holding my hand, and we will revisit those times and situations because I want God’s perspective, His wisdom and guidance, not mine. I want to be healed in those areas. I want to feel love and to be able to show love also. I feel like a robot. I want that to change.

Last year I started a new journal, and I went back to my first memory with my husband and how our relationship started and how I felt. I asked the Lord to remove any blindness so I could see clearly what my part was in the formation of this relationship. I wrote four full pages the first morning, and then I heard the song, Scars in Heaven, and God even showed me a rainbow. He whispered to my heart, “It will be okay, Little Bird; you will be healed in this area. I am with you; you are not alone.” I did this for seven days. And afterwards, I could not recall any of those tormenting and harmful memories. God had taken them all away. Now one year later, I am more able to enjoy intimacy without fear of being hurt. Obrigada, Jesus, for that gift.

Um dia, querido, all your wounds will be healed. We can experience healing here, but when we get to Glory, there will be no more pain, sorrow, or crying. Jesus will wipe away all our tears. We will finally be healed, whole, and surrounded by perfect Love.

Scars in Heaven by Casting Crowns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCdevloDE6E

 

Perguntas para levar a sério:
1. For those of you who are married, have you struggled with intimacy with your husband? How did you work through that?

2. If you are dating, do you feel comfortable sharing your heart with him? Yes or no? Por favor, explique.

3. Have you had a difficult time having healthy relationships with men in your past? If yes, can you give an example?

4. Como podemos orar por você?

Thank you for being on this call or reading this blog. It was not an easy one for me to write, but I felt like I needed to share my struggles with you so you feel safe sharing yours. You are safe here, querido.

Please reach out if you need to talk or pray this week. You can email me at: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Você é amado,
Toni

 

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Uma verificação em meu espírito

Uma verificação em meu espírito

Uma verificação em meu espírito
por Toni Weisz/Recuperação de Abuso

Referência bíblica: Efésios 4:29-32
Não deixe nenhuma comunicação corrupta sair da sua boca, mas o que é bom para edificar, para que possa ministrar graça aos ouvintes. E não entristeças o Espírito Santo de Deus, pelo qual estais selados para o dia da redenção. Deixe toda amargura, e ira, e raiva, e clamar, e falar mal, ser afastado de você com toda maldade: e sejam gentis uns com os outros, compassivo, perdoando um ao outro, assim como Deus, por amor de Cristo, te perdoou.

Tive a oportunidade esta semana de ver um eulíder do meu passado. Ela era a umaaborto Rlíder de recuperação em nosso centro de gravidez local na época, eu também era voluntária. Fizemos muitos post-umaaborto Bíblia estudamos juntos por vários anos. Fiquei muito surpreso ao vê-la porque estávamos em um evento que não tinha nada a ver com ministério. Sentamos um ao lado do outro. Nós compartilhamos sobre nossas famílias, e então também discutimos ministério. Ambos viemos de abordagens de ministério totalmente diferentes.

Ao longo dos anos, Aprendi que uma mulher não precisa ser criticada por seu pecado de aborto, que eunãoé algo sobre o qual falamos, e o Espírito Santo é aquele Quem a condena isto.

Das minhas cinzas à beleza, cTemos muito claro que o aborto encerra uma vida. Mas as mulheres vêm para o nosso ministério quebradas, e eles precisam de alguém para levantá-los, amá-los, para compartilhar a verdade sobre o aborto, e compartilhar o amor de Jesus com eles.

Enquanto falávamos sobre ministério, Percebi que estava levantando minha voz; csomos mulheres muito apaixonadas e fortes. Eu não estava me sentindo bem com o que estava acontecendo. Eu senti como se estivéssemos em algum tipo de competição estranha. Eu me senti muito desconfortável. Eu senti como se ela estivesse se defendendo e também insinuando algumas coisas sobre mim que não eram verdade.

Em um ponto, Eu apenas cruzei as mãos e parei de interagir com ela só para fazer uma pausa porque nossa conversa estava ficando meio bizarra. No passado, éele tive me machucou de muitas maneiras por seu estilo de liderança, e sofri não apenas humilhação pública diante de outros líderes, mas ela também me disse que era o meu pecado que estava causando problemas no meu casamento.

Eu trabalhei muito duro ao longo dos anos para perdoá-la. senhor, eu a perdôo, e eu rezo Você abençoe ela e sua família, eunJesus’ nome. Deus me ensinou muitas coisas olhando para outros líderes e aprendendo com eles.

Ela me enviou uma mensagem no dia seguinte e estava querendo ficar juntos, possivelmente. Honestamente, há algumas pessoas que eu tenho que manter à distância, e ela é uma delas.

Você já sentiu que precisava se manter protegido de certas pessoas? Por algum motivo, você sentiu eles são inseguros emocionalmente? Era lá um cheque em seu espírito, como um Cuidado?

Quando penso nisso agora, Eu era um co-dependente para agradar as pessoas. Eu tinha medo de figuras de autoridade, e Eu a considerava uma figura de autoridade. Eu dei a ela muito poder sobre mim, e isso foi minha culpa. Bmas eu estava tão ferido, e eu tinha acabado de começar no ministério pós-aborto, então muitas coisas estavam surgindo do meu passado. Eu ainda não estava equipado para lidar com tudo isso.

Talvez ela me lembre de outros membros da família. Sou muito cauteloso perto de pessoas como essa que me machucaram no passado. Também estou ciente de que o maligno está rondando porque enviei meus cartões de ministério para alguns membros da família que são pró-escolha.. Eu sei que não posso mudar seus corações; Estou orando para que Deus faça, mas quero que ouçam a verdade do outro lado: o aborto não só tira uma vida, mas também prejudica profundamente as mulheres. Por favor, ore para que Deus abra seus corações para ouvir a verdade sobre o aborto.

Perguntas para levar a sério:

  1. Existeme certos membros da família ou amigos dos quais você deve se proteger?
  2. Como você navega nesses relacionamentos? O que você faz para se proteger?
  3. Como podemos orar e encorajá-lo?

Rezo para que este tópico tenha sido útil para você. Entre em contato se precisar conversar, toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Você é amado,
Toni

 

 

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Como Superar Traumas

Como Superar Traumas

Como Superar Traumas
By Toni Weisz/Abuse Recovery

Referências bíblicas: Salmo 147:3, Salmo 27:10, Salmo 100:5

“Trauma can be more than a dark pit of despair or a spiral of depression. It has the potential to be our deepest source of empathy, strongest point of connection, and most forceful impetus (stimulus) for growth if we bravely choose to let others into both the brokenness and the mending. My brokenness becomes beautiful when I see trauma as an opportunity to grow.” (Excerpt taken from the devotional, Suffer Strong: How to Survive Anything by Redefining Everything, by Katherine and Jay Wolf.)

Salmo 147:3
He heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds.

Salmo 27:10
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

Salmo 100:5
For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations.

It takes courage to face the trauma from our past. This is not an easy process. Na verdade, it is quite painful at times, and it is not for the faint of heart. That’s why many people don’t do it. They would rather live in their dysfunction because they know what to expect—it’s familiar.

Change can be hard, scary, and unpredictable. But it can also be beautiful, especially when we are able to come out on the other side of our pain and see the miraculous work God has done.

When I first started this ministry, the Lord encouraged me to be real.

When I am open and transparent with all of you, it gives you permission to share from your heart too. I have experienced tremendous healing as a result of doing these conference calls for the past 11 anos. The work of the Holy Spirit, self-examination, and a safe community in which to share are the most important elements for true healing and the ability to break dysfunctional patterns and spiritual strongholds. This group gives me the courage to keep stepping out.

You’re only as sick as your secrets.

When I share my secrets in a safe and loving environment, it helps me to begin the healing process. It brings that secret thing into the light, and the devil no longer has power over me in that area. I am praying that each of you experience true healing in all of your broken areas. You are safe on our conference calls, dearly beloved of the Lord. What secrets are you still hiding?

I also needed to practice what I preached.

If I was telling you to stand up to the bully and use your voice, then I needed to do the same thing. This group has helped me to stay accountable and move forward in my own healing journey.

Say what you mean, but don’t say it mean.

God has shown me how to stay calm, to allow the other person to speak, and try to stay on topic. Then when it’s my turn, I share my perspective but in a way that honors God.

I apologize when I need to, but I don’t allow others to just dump on me or yell at me. I walk away or hang up because that’s not an acceptable way to communicate. I don’t allow others to be verbally abusive to me. By sharing with you, it also helped me to practice those same principles in my life.

God showed me He wanted to be first in my life.

Once I put God first in my life, then what others thought of me didn’t matter so much anymore. I was trying to please them so they would love me, but that never worked anyway. It only left me feeling empty, não amado, and depleted of my energy. I realized I could never make someone happy or sad; I didn’t have that kind of power. Only God can love me completely. então, I go to God when I need something because most people are not able to give me what I need anyway.

They cannot give what they don’t have.

Only Jesus can meet all my needs. Jesus is the answer to every situation or problem I have. When I go to Him and ask Him to help me, to show me what’s going on and why I am struggling the way I am, He gives me wisdom and shows me what I need to do.

Perguntas:

  1. What burdens are you carrying right now? Is it health, finances, solidão, relationships, loss, sadness, or something else?
  2. Are you able to share how you are feeling right now?
  3. Como podemos orar por você?

Remember: When your father and your mother forsake you, then the LORD will take you up. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations. He binds up the brokenhearted and heals all of your wounds.

Please reach out if you need prayer or just want to talk. Envie-me um e-mail para: toni@myashestobeauty.com.

Você é amado,

Toni

 

Leia mais sobre os blogs de Toni AQUI.