Expectativas não atendidas

Expectativas não atendidas
by Luci Boudreaux/Spiritual Insights

Scripture References:

Hebrews 4:16
“Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Salmo 27:13–14
“I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage wait for the Lord!”

After I surrendered my life to Jesus at age 25, I was so excited to go with God and live for Him. After years of mental and physical abuse by others and by my own poor life choices, which included abortion, I was anxious to start fresh. And I dared to dream for a normal life with God at the center.

I attended church, studied the Scriptures and hung out with other like–minded believers. I had great expectations about how God would fulfill my dreams to be a wife and a mom. And seeing all the young families at church intensified my longing to have my own family.

Years passed as my hopes and dreams went unfulfilled, in spite of my prayers. I got tired of waiting on God, so I took control and started dating a man who said the things I wanted to hear, but he turned out to be the opposite of the godly man I wanted to be with. You can read the whole story about “The Angel of Light” on MyAshesToBeauty.com under Luci’s Blogs, UMAônibus Rrecuperação.

After three years of abuse and separation from God, I ended the relationship and surrendered my singleness to the Lord. And not long after this, I met the man that I’ve been so thankful to be married to for 21 anos! In this difficult experience, God taught me that waiting on His timing and trusting His wisdom brings the best results.

Fast–forward to today, and again, God has me in a place of learning to trust and believe His promises. I have been physically suffering for years with GI tract and stomach pain. You might say, I carry stress in my gut! In the last few months, it has become debilitating. I’ve been aggressively reading and applying what the experts tell me to do, but nothing has brought relief. I also searched for a healthcare professional that could help to heal me. But as I prayed for guidance and searched for months, the doors continued to close.

My hope was fading as I questioned God, “Chy? Chy all this suffering? Chy all this waiting?” In my weakened state, I believed the lie that God would not bring healing and that He wasn’t hearing my cries for help.

In this process, God showed me that I needed an adjustment in my perspective because I had lost sight of what He was and is always doing in the life of His children. He was helping me see that I was allowing the cares of this world to affect me, that I was anxious about many things, and it was manifesting in my body breaking down. Além disso, he was preparing the perfect time for me to meet the right doctor. UMAnd as an added bonus, which I know was part of His plan, I not only met her but was also able to minister to her very precious mother who happened to be visiting.

God is not in the business of meeting our desires and needs in what WE believe to be the perfect time. He wants everything to be for our ultimate good (heart, mind and spirit) and for His glory. Just like Job, we can’t understand the mind of God, nor can we see the incredible plans He has for us. We have to trust that He loves us beyond our wildest dreams.

God has had His hand on my life circumstances this whole time! But He was waiting for me to give Him control and to trust His promises for me, as Scripture guides us. And one passage to emphasize is Psalm 25:9: “He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble His way.”

QUESTIONS:

What are you hoping and waiting for in your life?

Do you have a testimony of how God has answered your prayer in a way that surprised and blessed you beyond your expectations?

How can we pray for you?

I pray this topic has been helpful for you. You can reach me at: overcomer982@icloud.com.

Bênçãos,

Lúcia

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A Vontade “Perfeita” de Deus

by Luci Boudreaux/Spiritual Insights
June 4, 2023
Scriptures: John 14:23 and Colossians 1:9b–12

John 14:23 (NVI)
“Jesus answered him, ‘If anyone loves me, he will keep my word; and my Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him.’”

Col 1:9b–12 (NIV)
“We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.”

Before I met Jesus at 25, I had lived a hard life. I carried a lot of baggage because of others who had harmed me, both physically and emotionally. And because of my damaged self-image, I made a lot of poor choices. I abused alcohol and drugs and became promiscuous after being raped at age 12. As a single woman at 24, I got pregnant. Then I added injury to the pain and confusion by aborting my precious child.

As Jesus entered my life, He began to open my eyes and show me a love that I had never experienced. There was acceptance and a desire to know and be known, without fear of rejection. I knew I was safe, and this is when I began to open up to receive God’s will for my life.

Early on in my faith, I thought that God was in the business of answering “reasonable” prayers just because I prayed them. After all, I was His beloved daughter, and I knew He wanted to bless me. I strongly desired a godly husband and children, a smooth path to a vibrant ministry where I could share my faith and help other women who had been wounded, and to have no conflict with other members in the church.

I didn’t marry until I was 43, have no living biological children, didn’t establish a “vibrant” ministry (not how I imagined) and have had conflict with other members of the body of Christ. God hasn’t answered my prayers the way I desired. He did so much more! He answered them according to His perfect wisdom. então, I was able to grow closer to Him, and He has been glorified in my life.

As I grow in my faith, I am coming to understand that God’s perfect will is not always Him answering prayers according to my desires and my limited perspective. I am learning that His perfect will comes about when, in humility, I surrender. It’s key to a fulfilling relationship with Him. I had to come to the place where I wanted to fully surrender to God and be in an intimate relationship with Him, more than having any of my prayers answered, whatever that looks like.

Perguntas:

Have you surrendered your will to God? Se não, why? What are you afraid of?

Are you in God’s will right now? If so, what does that look like?

How do you respond to detours and unanswered prayers?

How can we pray for you?

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O propósito do meu bebê

blog da Luci

Genesis 50:20: “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.”

II Peter 3:9: “The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”

Growing up in my dysfunctional family, which included neglect and sexual, physical, and verbal abuse, did not equip me to care for or respect myself as I grew in the way God intended for me. I spent many years allowing others, especially men, to use and take advantage of me for sexual purposes. Na época em que eu estava 15, I was deeply wounded and hurting. My way of coping was to act out in self-destructive ways. As I mentioned earlier, I allowed others to use me. I also drank daily and experimented with most drugs, including mind-altering substances.

I had no hope that anything in my life would improve but that it would just continue to get worse until I died. I was so angry at the way I had been treated by my father and brothers but didn’t understand how to break out of this pattern of destructive behavior.

Na idade de 24, I slept with a man whom I hardly knew. Na verdade, I couldn’t even tell you his name. All I know was that he said all the right things that my heart longed to hear: that he cared for me, really wanted to be with me, and made me feel special, even if it was just for a brief time. He kept insisting that we have sex, and I resisted at first but then gave in when he said he had a vasectomy, since that meant he could not get me pregnant.

I was desperate for this man’s attention but certainly didn’t want to have a baby with him! But like most of the men I opened my life up to, he had lied to me and much to my dismay, I became pregnant. I was devastated and felt a sense of desperation as to how I would “fix” this predicament I was in. Of course, the guy who said he cared so much about me left the scene as soon as he got what he wanted.

I confided in a friend that had introduced me to him. I remember that she had a 9-year-old daughter and no husband, and it was clear that she resented her daughter greatly by the way she treated her. She told me to “Get rid of it; you don’t want a kid!” All I could think about was how I didn’t want to end up like this woman, mistreating my own child! então, against my better judgement and my conscience that told me “NO, this is wrong,” I chose to abort the only child I would ever conceive.

I cried every night when no one was around to see my pain. I cried for myself because of how empty this act made me feel, but mostly for this innocent child whose life I had taken so violently. I cried unconsolably, every night for months. Not knowing my Lord Jesus Christ at that time, I had no one to turn to for forgiveness and healing. As I look back on this desperate act of selfishness, I realize this was the final self-destructive thing that drove me into the arms of God! I just couldn’t live with the emptiness and pain anymore. Nine months after my abortion, I surrendered my life to Jesus, asked forgiveness for my sins, and began to walk in the newness of life that He offers to all who come to Him in humility.

I want to read a section of the letter to the baby I named Gabriella, which means “God is My Strength”:

Although your earthly life was so short, you impacted mine for eternity because precisely nine months after I allowed that abortion clinic to strip you away from my womb, I was born again! And on that amazing day, my heart, soul, and spirit were transformed from darkness and condemnation into the forgiving and precious light of Jesus Christ and His Holy Spirit! God took our pain and ashes and turned them into eternal beauty!

I am pouring much of my life into other women who have experienced the pain and grief of abortion by helping them to acknowledge and heal from this event. I love you with all my heart, my precious little one, and I will see you soon!

Your forgiven Mom

What purpose did your unborn child serve in your life?

Did it move you towards God or away from Him?

Additional portions of letters to the unborn:

Beloved, God knows your life was not a mistake. Your life spurred me to a deeper faith and a passion for Christ. God showed me grace, love, and healing in ways that I can’t describe. He used all these things for good (Rom 8:28). Your life allowed me to defend the defenseless, to value life in the womb, and to have compassion for the hurting moms who fell into the same trap as I did. God numbers our days and although yours were few, they continue to fuel my passion.

I, your mother, hold you in my arms today in a way I could not 10 years ago because I feared to look into your eyes and to hear God’s voice speak through the gentle grasp of your fingers saying “choose life.” In the light of my mind, I now behold you, my first child—the first of three girls. Do you know that you have two sisters? Do you know that your life has given great meaning to their lives? Because of you, I cherish the very breath of life God has gifted me and those whom I hold close to my heart.

As I embrace you today and always, I let go of shame, guilt, humiliation, rejection, abandonment, pride, and pain. I reject the lies that once kept your memory hidden in darkness far from the light of truth. My love, my beautiful baby girl, you were never forgotten.

Heaven has documented each moment of your existence in the book of life. Now, it is time for me to write your page into the story of my life.

In the years to come, when we find ourselves reunited in the spirit, I will delight in the unfolding of your unique personality woven together with the experience of your brief, yet significant life. For now, sweetheart, I entrust your care and protection to the Father, whose plans for you are greater than either you or I can imagine.

I named you Joseph because what the enemy meant for evil, God turned around for my good and for His glory. He exchanged my ashes into something beautiful. Joseph, you inspired a ministry called My Ashes to Beauty to help other moms heal from their past abortions.

Bênçãos,

Lúcia

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Como Deus mudou minha dor (Parte 1 & 2) por Luci

UMAônibus Rrecuperação Ssuporte Ggrupo ARSG

COMO DEUS TRANSFORMOU MINHA DOR (Parte 1) por Luci

Quando eu era muito jovem, ainda dormindo em um berço, Eu já me senti inseguro. Meu irmão mais velho gostava de me provocar, o que continuou durante toda a minha infância. Era como se ele tivesse um demônio o guiando para me causar dor e medo! Enquanto a noite caía, ele viria para o meu berço, incline-se e chegue bem perto do meu rosto, me assustando tanto que tudo que pude fazer foi ficar ali com os olhos arregalados, olhando para ele, desejando que ele fosse embora! Este irmão continuou a me insultar de várias maneiras, ao longo dos anos, até que o abuso sexual ocorreu quando eu era 11. Ele conseguiu outro irmão para se juntar; Eu ainda estava com muito medo e guardei tudo para mim. Eu fui uma vítima para todos os efeitos; meus pais não eram educadores, então eu não fui até eles, acreditando que eles iriam me culpar. Houve uma grande vergonha associada ao que estava acontecendo. Criei um ressentimento e até um ódio pelos meus irmãos e pelos meus pais por não terem me protegido do tormento por tantos anos! Descobri mais tarde, na adolescência, que meu pai lia revistas pornográficas e essa era a principal fonte do mau funcionamento de meu irmão.. Além disso, ele estava molestando minhas irmãs mais velhas.

Na idade de 12, Fui atraída e estuprada por um homem da minha vizinhança que estava quase 10 anos mais velho. Foi de novo, assustador E doloroso. Depois daquele encontro, Comecei minha jornada de promiscuidade e abuso. Era muito raro eu me encontrar na companhia de um homem jovem ou mais velho respeitoso e atencioso. Era como se eu tivesse as palavras ‘USE E ABUSE DE MIM’ na minha testa! Eu odiava minha vida e acreditava que era feio e imperfeito.

Tendo saído de casa com a idade de 15, Eu tentei fazer isso sozinho. Mas descobri que o mundo é um lugar perigoso para uma jovem nas ruas. eu seria estuprada, molestado e abusado várias vezes, por vários conhecidos e estranhos na época em que eu estava 18. Entrei para a Força Aérea em 19 depois que um policial local tentou me molestar. Decidi que o exército seria um lugar seguro para descansar e fornecer refeições regulares. Mas minha disfunção me acompanhou enquanto eu continuava a fazer escolhas erradas com os homens. Eu estava sofrendo no fundo e me senti sem esperança. Lembro-me de ter sido enviado para aconselhamento no primeiro ano e do homem que estava lá para “me ajudar”, me fez pior! Ele me disse que eu era frágil e ele estava certo; Eu chorei com a menor coisa! então, para mostrar seu ponto, enquanto em aconselhamento, ele se aproximou de mim e gritou alto! Eu pulei e comecei a chorar. Ele parecia satisfeito por ter apresentado seu ponto de vista tão bem. Eu nunca voltei para ele! Os homens eram meus inimigos e a maioria das mulheres não era confiável.

Continuei ao longo dos anos com um senso extremamente prejudicial de mim mesmo e dos outros. No 24, Fiquei grávida de um homem que mal conhecia. Como tantos outros homens, eu me permiti ser usado por, ele mentiu para mim, disse que fez vasectomia e queria muito ficar comigo! Depois que ele terminou de conseguir o que queria, ele se foi e eu fiquei sozinho. Não tive tempo de me perguntar por que todas essas coisas terríveis continuavam acontecendo comigo; Eu precisava me ocupar e “resolver esse problema”! Esse foi o meu MO; Concluí que ninguém cuidaria de mim, eu tive que fazer isso sozinho!

No 25, aproximadamente 9 meses depois de abortar meu filho, o Senhor me mostrou Seu perdão e foi aí que minha jornada de cura e restauração começou! Naquele momento no tempo, quando me rendi a Sua Senhoria, Ele me deu uma nova identidade, um que Ele sempre pretendeu que eu tivesse! Passei de vítima espancada a preciosa, linda e amada filha do Rei! Agora eu estava seguro e sob o olhar atento de meu Pai celestial.

Salmo 34:18 “Perto está o Senhor dos que têm o coração quebrantado e salva os de espírito quebrantado.

Eu desenvolvi tantas cicatrizes ao longo dos anos que levaria algum tempo para superar toda a dor e os múltiplos níveis de mentiras e pensamentos distorcidos.. Comecei a frequentar uma pequena igreja e lá conheci um homem mais velho que me orientou na Palavra de Deus.. Ele era um modelo incrível de homem piedoso que me tratou com dignidade e respeito! Foi nesse ponto que comecei a me abrir para a possibilidade de que houvesse outros homens no mundo que não abusariam e se aproveitariam de mim, mas poderia ser respeitoso e realmente me amar sem segundas intenções.

Minha jornada de cura e restauração continua até hoje; Deus está derramando amorosamente em mim, gentilmente ensinando e trazendo outras pessoas para o meu mundo que me mostram Seu amor gracioso. E Ele também está me usando, precisely because of my wounds and suffering, to show other wounded souls that there is hope! My scars are no longer ugly to me but are, in the words of Shauna Neiquist, “holy places, reminders of the healer Himself.”

2 Cor 1:3-5 “Bendito seja o Deus e Pai de nosso Senhor Jesus Cristo, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, que nos conforta em todas as nossas aflições, para que possamos confortar aqueles que estão em qualquer aflição, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

Read below Como Deus mudou minha dor (Parte 2) por Luci

UMAônibus Rrecuperação Ssuporte Ggrupo ARSG

Como Deus mudou minha dor (Parte 2) por Luci

The enemy wants to keep us in a place of uncertainty, not trusting God but believing the lifelong lies that were told to us when we were so young and impressionable, before we were exposed to the truth! He wants to see us frozen with fear and unbelief, believing that we are not “good enough” for the love God has to offer. These lies are powerful but have no hold over us because we have been bought with the precious blood of Jesus. God looks at us with pure and tender affection; He sees us as the cherished daughters we were always intended to be. Nothing can separate us from His love. We only have to embrace this truth.

The enemy has been hard at work since the dawn of man (God’s most beloved creation). My pastor shared something worth repeating:

“The devil never offers anything real, only imitations. He offers addiction as an imitation of peace, promiscuity as an imitation of love, hatred as an imitation of justice, greed as an imitation of security, isolation as an imitation of safety, entertainment as an imitation of meaning, self-righteousness as an imitation of forgiveness.” Pastor Michael Shockley

Where are you in your process of healing from past abuse?

What practical steps have you taken to achieve that goal?

In what ways has God turned your pain of abuse around?

I cannot answer the age-old question as to why God allows certain things to happen in our lives. Notice I did not say causes? The sin of mankind causes brokenness and perversion, God allows these things for His reasons that are far beyond our understanding. But there are some passages that give us a glimpse of why He allows bad things to happen to us.

2 Pet 3:9 “The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not willing for any to perish, but for all to come to repentance.”

Rom 9:22-24 “What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory—even us whom he has called, not from the Jews only but also from the Gentiles?”

Rom 8:18-22 “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the eagerly awaiting creation waits for the revealing of the sons and daughters of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now.”

Humans have been sinning against one another since the very first family (Cain & Abel). And 2 Peter 3:9 tells us about God’s incredible patience toward the human race. “The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not willing for any to perish, but for all to come to repentance.”

Hebrews 4:14-16 “Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

CS Lewis “We can ignore pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

Bênçãos,

Lúcia

Eu Sou a Flor Silvestre de Deus

Blog de Luci

I was part of the sexual Abuse Recovery Bible Study with a small group of women through the “My Ashes To Beauty” ministry. And when I agreed to participate, I figured it had been so many decades since the abuses took place that there wouldn’t be any new discoveries. Well, it turns out there were things that I had not yet processed, even with all the counseling I had over the years.

I had the opportunity to mourn the loss of a safe and happy childhood and teen years that every girl deserves to experience. One of the things that really moved me is when we shared photos of the timeframe that we lost our innocence. I felt such compassion for the other women’s photos and how precious and vulnerable they appeared at the time of their abuses. When I looked at my photo, I felt such love and mercy for the young adolescent girl, that was me; I shed tears over that. I didn’t see myself back then, the way I now do. I had blamed myself for the abuses and couldn’t see beyond how it defined me. I was reminded over the course of this study that I am God’s precious and adored daughter! And that was definitely a good thing to allow to sink into my heart!

As I got to know the women in this intimate setting and hear their stories, I realized, I’m not alone in this, that others have experienced similar atrocities and it endeared me to them. We bonded in a way that goes beyond a typical group gathering for prayer or Bible study. I got the sense that God brought this particular group together so we could pray for, encourage and show one another that there is further healing and work to be done. The prayers that were prayed over us was like a healing balm that sunk deep into my soul!

Sexual abuse recovery takes time, as we peel away layers of false beliefs and negative thinking which keeps us in bondage and from moving further on the beautiful path that God has for each of us to walk. Not only do we need to continue to grow in Him, but He also wants to use us to show others the healing and forgiveness that is waiting for them, through His love. This study ws a safe place to share and be vulnerable with like-minded women.

His beloved,

Lúcia

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